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(Pravda)   Seven-billionth Earthman born in several places at once   (english.pravda.ru) divider line
    More: Interesting, Planet Earth, Vitali Klitschko, Kamchatka, Earthman  
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4615 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2011 at 1:21 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



97 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2011-10-31 10:27:32 AM  
lets wait six months and have them battle it out for the title.
 
2011-10-31 10:36:53 AM  
Earthman?
i1193.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2011-10-31 10:50:06 AM  
Yep. I was reading an article on the BBC where they were saying some people were claiming the 7 billionth was a girl in India (an organization that wanted to bring attention to girls in India), the Philippines are claiming it was a baby born in a Manilla hospital, etc etc.

Wherever you are kids, welcome to the club and good luck cause you're going to need it.
 
2011-10-31 11:06:52 AM  
Surprise! You were only 5,999,997 because I've buried 4 bodies myself. Nobody even knows they're dead yet. Possibly because they're not dead yet.

Happy Halloween!
 
2011-10-31 11:39:12 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2011-10-31 11:59:42 AM  
This is why we shouldn't get our news from the Russians.
 
2011-10-31 12:13:58 PM  
He is everywhere at once?

A little early for the Kwisatz Haderach
 
2011-10-31 12:41:38 PM  
I thought it seemed crowded today.
 
2011-10-31 1:23:39 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: He is everywhere at once?

A little early for the Kwisatz Haderach


I blame Lady Jessica. Biatch didn't follow her orders.
 
2011-10-31 1:26:16 PM  
7,777,777,777th is more impressive.
 
2011-10-31 1:26:27 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: He is everywhere at once?

A little early for the Kwisatz Haderach


Santa needs a replacement
 
2011-10-31 1:26:36 PM  
Quick, somebody collapse his/her wave function!

jaylectricity: Surprise! You were only 5,999,997 because I've buried 4 bodies myself. Nobody even knows they're dead yet. Possibly because they're not dead yet.

Happy Halloween!


You're a billion short, buddy.
 
2011-10-31 1:28:40 PM  
Too many people.

Stop breeding before we run out of food, space and water.
If we don't stop now, there will be awful wars and disease caused by overpopulation.
 
2011-10-31 1:28:41 PM  

Arkanaut: You're a billion short, buddy.


He is not counting the population who is going to be on the B Ark.
 
2011-10-31 1:30:21 PM  
As opposed to the seven-billionth Earthman to be conceived, who was also conceived in several places at once. But enough about your mom.
 
2011-10-31 1:31:37 PM  
Babies are terrorists who hate your freedoms and America! farkin little fark faces!
 
2011-10-31 1:31:39 PM  
So the "one percent" we're all opposing is 70 million strong. Are we sure this is a good idea?
 
2011-10-31 1:31:43 PM  
Repeat x 7,000,000,000
 
2011-10-31 1:32:04 PM  
7 billion? Sheesh, you know what that means. You old farkers with the clean lawns aren't dying fast enough.
 
2011-10-31 1:35:19 PM  
As someone who left several million earthmen in a sock last night, I'm getting a kick
 
2011-10-31 1:36:53 PM  

BurnShrike: As someone who left several million earthmen in a sock last night, I'm getting a kick


Sorry, those weren't earthmen. They were seamen. Wrong element.
 
2011-10-31 1:37:37 PM  
the quantum baby
 
2011-10-31 1:37:41 PM  
Perhaps we should kill all the poor people...
 
2011-10-31 1:42:12 PM  
Le Grand Inquisitor Quote 2011-10-31 01:37:41 PM
Perhaps we should kill all the poor people...


Capital idea!
 
2011-10-31 1:43:14 PM  

rev. dave: Too many people.

Stop breeding before we run out of food, space and water.
If we don't stop now, there will be awful wars and disease caused by overpopulation.


Sorry, not too much breeding: too few dying. Wait a few decades and see the ramifications of low birth rates from all the industrialized nations (and even many of the second and third-world countries). When those who have lived to quite a long age finally die out, say around 2030, we will see a massive plummeting of the population. I think there will be more problems with that than benefits.
 
2011-10-31 1:43:15 PM  
Seven-billionth Earthman born in several places at once

...and boy, is his mom's vagina tired!
 
2011-10-31 1:43:18 PM  
Maybe it's just me, but I'm getting a Buckaroo Banzai reference out of this headline...
 
2011-10-31 1:43:43 PM  
Funniest part of the "OMG 7 Billion!!!111!!" news stories (for those in the know about such things), is that the number is just an estimate. The date that #7b is born could be off by as much as 2 years in either direction.
 
2011-10-31 1:45:38 PM  

CokeBear: Funniest part of the "OMG 7 Billion!!!111!!" news stories (for those in the know about such things), is that the number is just an estimate. The date that #7b is born could be off by as much as 2 years in either direction.


Don't be ridiculous. They know it's the 7 billion's because of the balloons and confetti that come out with the baby.
 
2011-10-31 1:48:50 PM  
It is possible that there were several people who were the 7 billionth.

People die all the time. If that baby girl in India were born and a split second later a guy in NYC dies and then the kid in the Philippines were born and then some old woman somewhere else dies and then....

hopefully you get the idea.

It's a silly thing to want to be that person anyway though.

It was much cooler being the 200 millionth person in the USA. USA! USA!
 
2011-10-31 1:50:31 PM  

HailRobonia: 7,777,777,777th is more impressive.


Then we can go attack Emerald Weapon and not get our asses beat.
 
2011-10-31 1:51:57 PM  

CokeBear: Funniest part of the "OMG 7 Billion!!!111!!" news stories (for those in the know about such things), is that the number is just an estimate. The date that #7b is born could be off by as much as 2 years in either direction.


Do black people still only count as 3/5ths of a person anywhere?
 
2011-10-31 1:54:39 PM  

rev. dave: Too many people.

Stop breeding before we run out of food, space and water.
If we don't stop now, there will be awful wars and disease caused by overpopulation.


I see what you did there.
 
2011-10-31 1:55:17 PM  
BurnShrike: BurnShrike: As someone who left several million earthmen in a sock last night, I'm getting a kick

Sorry, those weren't earthmen. They were seamen. Wrong element.


You need to get an alt. That or stop stetting yourself up for your own jokes.
 
2011-10-31 1:56:03 PM  

Happy Hours: CokeBear: Funniest part of the "OMG 7 Billion!!!111!!" news stories (for those in the know about such things), is that the number is just an estimate. The date that #7b is born could be off by as much as 2 years in either direction.

Do black people still only count as 3/5ths of a person anywhere?


This is a good idea to artificially reduce the population. Change the way we count people.
 
2011-10-31 2:01:41 PM  
images.moviepostershop.comView Full Size


Baby Diego? He was a wanker.
 
2011-10-31 2:02:13 PM  
Old people just need to die faster.
 
2011-10-31 2:08:53 PM  
Heh, heh, you young punks are going to find out that all that time you wasted screwing around at the the mall, watching TV and playing video games, isn't going to feed your tummies, or quench your thirst.

How many of you know how to pull a submersible pump out of a well to repair or replace it? Just as I thought. You don't even know what a submersible pump is, or a well for that matter.
 
2011-10-31 2:14:09 PM  

Pick: Heh, heh, you young punks are going to find out that all that time you wasted screwing around at the the mall, watching TV and playing video games, isn't going to feed your tummies, or quench your thirst.

How many of you know how to pull a submersible pump out of a well to repair or replace it? Just as I thought. You don't even know what a submersible pump is, or a well for that matter.


Well is a team fortress map, moran.
 
2011-10-31 2:15:53 PM  

Arkanaut: You're a billion short, buddy.


F*CK! I'm am idiot.
 
2011-10-31 2:17:31 PM  

Pick: Heh, heh, you young punks are going to find out that all that time you wasted screwing around at the the mall, watching TV and playing video games, isn't going to feed your tummies, or quench your thirst.

How many of you know how to pull a submersible pump out of a well to repair or replace it? Just as I thought. You don't even know what a submersible pump is, or a well for that matter.


a well... isnt that the thing timmy fell down?

Also, Malls have food courts.
 
2011-10-31 2:20:11 PM  

dericwater: When those who have lived to quite a long age finally die out, say around 2030, we will see a massive plummeting of the population. I think there will be more problems with that than benefits.


And what exactly do you base that on? The death of millions of Europeans from the plague that brought about the freaking renaissance? How is the human population being lowered possibly a bad thing!
 
2011-10-31 2:21:04 PM  
who's working the fryer, we need more Big-Macs!
 
2011-10-31 2:21:33 PM  

Pick: Heh, heh, you young punks are going to find out that all that time you wasted screwing around at the the mall, watching TV and playing video games, isn't going to feed your tummies, or quench your thirst.

How many of you know how to pull a submersible pump out of a well to repair or replace it? Just as I thought. You don't even know what a submersible pump is, or a well for that matter.


Are we talking a Grundfos, a whaler, or some other type of ESP? Are you sure that the intake for your pump is completely submerged? Perhaps your well screen is not properly intersecting the water table, or maybe whoever installed the well didn't allow room for the water table to drop during the dry season? Are you pulling the pump out yourself, or do you have somebody to help you? That tubing can be a pain in the ass when you're pulling the pump out by yourself.

/'wasted' a lot of time having fun and enjoying my youth
//still manage to feed my tummy and quench my thirst
 
2011-10-31 2:22:06 PM  
Be fruitful, multiply, I'll work out the details so you guys don't have to. Or, maybe not, maybe I'll just do a big rapture/apocalypse. -God
 
2011-10-31 2:23:51 PM  

BurnShrike: Sorry, those weren't earthmen. They were seamen. Wrong element.


I've seen a movie that features both seamen and firemen.
 
2011-10-31 2:29:02 PM  

Pick: Heh, heh, you young punks are going to find out that all that time you wasted screwing around at the the mall, watching TV and playing video games, isn't going to feed your tummies, or quench your thirst.

How many of you know how to pull a submersible pump out of a well to repair or replace it? Just as I thought. You don't even know what a submersible pump is, or a well for that matter.


Maybe because in today's world, that shiat plain doesn't matter. Look, you know how to survive in a cabin in the Arctic or some third world shiathole. That's great, it really is. I'll just be over here content with my electric range and indoor plumbing.

If/when the time ever comes that those things go away, it's really not that hard to build a rudimentary solar still to purify all the water you'll need.
 
2011-10-31 2:30:38 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: BurnShrike: BurnShrike: As someone who left several million earthmen in a sock last night, I'm getting a kick

Sorry, those weren't earthmen. They were seamen. Wrong element.

You need to get an alt. That or stop stetting yourself up for your own jokes.


Yeah, I realized it was kind of lame to respond to my own post like that. The thing is though, the second comment/joke didn't occur to me until I'd posted and re-read my original one.
 
2011-10-31 2:34:20 PM  
Did Zaphod have another accident involving a contraceptive and a time machine? He is one hoopy frood, man
 
2011-10-31 2:36:47 PM  

rev. dave: Too many people.

Stop breeding before we run out of food, space and water.
If we don't stop now, there will be awful wars and disease caused by overpopulation.


This is funny because you believe it.
 
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