Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Neatorama)   Drill instructor and film badass R. Lee Ermey caught knitting. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU BUNCH OF JACKWAGONS?   (neatorama.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, R. Lee Ermey, star cluster  
•       •       •

5770 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Oct 2011 at 5:51 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



64 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2011-10-20 5:15:13 PM  
Let the Full Metal Jacket quotes begin!!!

"Your days of fingerbanging ol' Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties ARE OVER!"
 
2011-10-20 5:36:26 PM  
"My name is Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I've drunk more beer and pissed more blood and banged more quiff and busted more balls.... than all of you numbnuts put together."
 
2011-10-20 5:43:57 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.comView Full Size
 
2011-10-20 5:50:17 PM  

calbert: "My name is Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I've drunk more beer and pissed more blood and banged more quiff and busted more balls.... than all of you numbnuts put together."


I AM NOT CLINT FARKING EASTWOOD, NANCY! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR EYES AND SKULLFARK YOU!
 
2011-10-20 5:53:25 PM  

veedeevadeevoodee: [farm1.static.flickr.com image 395x500]


You must be an old fart like me. Came in to post the same thing.
 
2011-10-20 5:56:16 PM  
Private Pyle, your ass looks like 300 pounds of chewed bubble gum!

/love that line
 
2011-10-20 5:57:26 PM  
[image from tacticalgearsuperstore.com too old to be available]

"Awww it's a sock!"

[image from images.cabelas.com too old to be available]

"Jesus Christ!"
 
2011-10-20 5:57:36 PM  
My mother says it's good physical therapy for arthritis. Just sayin'

And besides, WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMB NUTS?
 
2011-10-20 5:58:45 PM  
Let me see your knitting face!
 
2011-10-20 5:59:07 PM  
I'm surprised they let him knit on a plane. Those things are dangerous. I once stepped on a knitting needle that was jutting out of a ball of yarn when I got up one morning; a blunt pointed 4 mm wide steel rod really farking hurts when it pierces the bottom of your heel.
 
2011-10-20 6:01:40 PM  
Good. Much better hobby than shooting one's mouth off about things one knows nothing about - like politics.
 
2011-10-20 6:06:02 PM  
Now choke yourself!
 
2011-10-20 6:07:20 PM  
My mom actually did have her knitting needles confiscated by the TSA (flying through CVG) back in 2004 or so.

Her joke was that she thought they must have been scared she was going to knit an Afghan.


/honestly, anybody as badass as Ermey can knit whatever the hell he wants. As mentioned above, it's probably a gun sock.
//Mom probably ran into the same asshole who confiscated my dog tags while i was flying back to Ft. Jackson - in uniform - because they could be "used as a garrote".
 
2011-10-20 6:07:29 PM  
Ermey's probably knitting an M-16.

/If anybody can, it's Ermey
 
2011-10-20 6:09:03 PM  
"YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU BUNCH OF JACKWAGONS?"

SIR! NO SIR!
 
2011-10-20 6:10:06 PM  
He has to keep his hands busy otherwise people die. One of the conditions of his parole.

/Their will be a follow up story to this that shows a picture of a terrorist dead in the plane isle with 2 knitting needles protruding from his jugular with a cute set of booties on the other end.
 
2011-10-20 6:11:54 PM  

FightDirector: Mom probably ran into the same asshole who confiscated my dog tags while i was flying back to Ft. Jackson - in uniform - because they could be "used as a garrote".


So, the TSA confiscated your dog tags? Is that even legal? (i know, it's the TSA) Aren't those military property or something? Just curious.
 
2011-10-20 6:15:29 PM  
I met RLE in the French Quarter. Super nice guy. His eyebrows are so huge, bushy and LONG that they also had fades from the temple to the center. High-and-tight on the eyebrows, Semper Fi.
 
2011-10-20 6:15:34 PM  
A man knits something like that and people know he's not afraid of anything...
 
2011-10-20 6:18:03 PM  
I thought Farkers were experts on TSA regulations. Knitting needles haven't been on the prohibited items list for a while now, and his were wooden.
 
2011-10-20 6:21:21 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: I thought Farkers were experts on TSA regulations. Knitting needles haven't been on the prohibited items list for a while now, and his were wooden.


I'm shocked he didn't whittle them from the bones of a dead charlie
 
2011-10-20 6:24:46 PM  

scottydoesntknow: The My Little Pony Killer: I thought Farkers were experts on TSA regulations. Knitting needles haven't been on the prohibited items list for a while now, and his were wooden.

I'm shocked he didn't whittle them from the bones of a dead charlie


I heard he carved it from a bigger spoon.
 
2011-10-20 6:25:46 PM  

FightDirector: anybody as badass as Ermey can knit whatever the hell he wants


Damn straight.

/yeah I know, he's an actor...
 
2011-10-20 6:28:41 PM  

phoenixdan: FightDirector: Mom probably ran into the same asshole who confiscated my dog tags while i was flying back to Ft. Jackson - in uniform - because they could be "used as a garrote".

So, the TSA confiscated your dog tags? Is that even legal? (i know, it's the TSA) Aren't those military property or something? Just curious.


I made sure to get the guy's name, and when I got back to Jackson I went straight to my platoon sergeant and let him know what had happened (I didn't want to get in trouble for not having my tags). He then had me tell it to CPT Bikos, my company CO. Who then had me tell my story to the battalion Sar-major. Who then had me tell it to my Battalion CO, who then had me tell it to the post CSM (and who, I presume, mentioned it to the post commander, but I never got THAT far).

I had my dog tags back two weeks later, with nary a follow-up report or word said about it after. Never had a problem flying out of CVG after that, after getting pulled for "additional screening" six straight times prior to enlisting, either.

I dunno if it was legal or not, but I can safely tell you that my superiors were pissed.
 
2011-10-20 6:29:35 PM  

unicron702: /Their will be a follow up story to this that shows a picture of a terrorist dead in the plane isle with 2 knitting needles protruding from his jugular with a cute set of booties on the other end.


I'm pretty sure he'd just yell them into surrendering.

"LISTEN HERE YOU TERRORIST FARKSTICK! IF YOU DON'T SIT DOWN RIGHT THE FARK NOW I AM GOING TO CRAM THIS FINELY KNITTED SCARF SO FAR UP YOUR ARSE THAT YOU'LL TASTE WOOL!"
 
2011-10-20 6:37:17 PM  

Maechyll: FightDirector: anybody as badass as Ermey can knit whatever the hell he wants

Damn straight.

/yeah I know, he's an actor...



"Ermey was a drill instructor at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot in San Diego, California, and Parris Island, South Carolina from 1965 to 1967. In 1968, Ermey arrived in Vietnam where he served for 14 months with the Marine Wing Support Group 17. He then served two tours of duty in Okinawa, Japan, during which he rose to the rank of Staff Sergeant (E-6) and was medically discharged in 1972 for several injuries incurred during his tours."
 
2011-10-20 6:37:46 PM  

Maechyll: FightDirector: anybody as badass as Ermey can knit whatever the hell he wants

Damn straight.

/yeah I know, he's an actor...


He's actually a retired drill instructor. He only plays an actor on TV
 
2011-10-20 6:42:06 PM  

FightDirector: phoenixdan: FightDirector: Mom probably ran into the same asshole who confiscated my dog tags while i was flying back to Ft. Jackson - in uniform - because they could be "used as a garrote".

So, the TSA confiscated your dog tags? Is that even legal? (i know, it's the TSA) Aren't those military property or something? Just curious.

I made sure to get the guy's name, and when I got back to Jackson I went straight to my platoon sergeant and let him know what had happened (I didn't want to get in trouble for not having my tags). He then had me tell it to CPT Bikos, my company CO. Who then had me tell my story to the battalion Sar-major. Who then had me tell it to my Battalion CO, who then had me tell it to the post CSM (and who, I presume, mentioned it to the post commander, but I never got THAT far).

I had my dog tags back two weeks later, with nary a follow-up report or word said about it after. Never had a problem flying out of CVG after that, after getting pulled for "additional screening" six straight times prior to enlisting, either.

I dunno if it was legal or not, but I can safely tell you that my superiors were pissed.


That's TSA for you. My personal favorite moment of stupidity was when I saw them processing a bunch of Army guys, in uniform with all their mo-bags.

They actually made them take their boots off for screening.

After the soldiers' M16s or M4s were put through the metal detector. And then given back to the soldiers after screening.
 
2011-10-20 6:48:59 PM  

phoenixdan: FightDirector: Mom probably ran into the same asshole who confiscated my dog tags while i was flying back to Ft. Jackson - in uniform - because they could be "used as a garrote".

So, the TSA confiscated your dog tags? Is that even legal? (i know, it's the TSA) Aren't those military property or something? Just curious.


I don't think they're technically military property but they are required to be considered in uniform.

Would have loved to hear what the base command said to the TSA over that. "Are you telling me an American military uniform on an American servicemember is a security risk now?"
 
2011-10-20 6:57:00 PM  
That looks suspiciously like a penguin-sized shirt.
 
2011-10-20 7:13:36 PM  
Goalie great (Montreal/New York) Jacques Plante would knit touques while on the bench during a game.
 
2011-10-20 7:17:36 PM  
Most Marines also know how to iron and sew too... my ex-gf would make me iron her clothes because I was better at it than her.


And as far as giving people in uniform a "free pass" for whatever reason... Dog Tags can be made by anybody with the proper equipment, Surplus stores and thrift shops sell uniforms

And there have been imposters busted walking around airports before...

img31.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2011-10-20 7:22:35 PM  

Thac0isWhac0: Most Marines also know how to iron and sew too... my ex-gf would make me iron her clothes because I was better at it than her.


And as far as giving people in uniform a "free pass" for whatever reason... Dog Tags can be made by anybody with the proper equipment, Surplus stores and thrift shops sell uniforms

And there have been imposters busted walking around airports before...

[img31.imageshack.us image 453x604]


WTF is that shiat. I was Army, not a Jarhead, but even I can tell that uniform is a disgrace. Poorly fitted, what looks like it'd be non-reg footwear, and poorly pressed. No Marine I've ever met would be caught dead in that getup.
 
2011-10-20 7:31:10 PM  

Thac0isWhac0: Most Marines also know how to iron and sew too... my ex-gf would make me iron her clothes because I was better at it than her.


And as far as giving people in uniform a "free pass" for whatever reason... Dog Tags can be made by anybody with the proper equipment, Surplus stores and thrift shops sell uniforms

And there have been imposters busted walking around airports before...

[img31.imageshack.us image 453x604]


The fail brigade. Looks like the guy next to him is chewing him out too.
 
2011-10-20 7:43:00 PM  
1. God was here before the Marine Corps. So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to The Corps. Do you ladies understand?

2. Excuse me, ma'am. Now what we have here Little Yellow Sister, is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama Blacksnake, but it ain't too goddamn beaucoup.
 
2011-10-20 8:09:28 PM  

FightDirector: My mom actually did have her knitting needles confiscated by the TSA (flying through CVG) back in 2004 or so.

Her joke was that she thought they must have been scared she was going to knit an Afghan.


/honestly, anybody as badass as Ermey can knit whatever the hell he wants. As mentioned above, it's probably a gun sock.
//Mom probably ran into the same asshole who confiscated my dog tags while i was flying back to Ft. Jackson - in uniform - because they could be "used as a garrote".


Did the joke land her at Gitmo?

Also, knitting trifecta in play.
 
2011-10-20 8:10:53 PM  

TaVaMaN: Let the Full Metal Jacket quotes begin!!!


Who said that? Who the fark said that? Who's the slimy little communist shiat, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy farking godmother said it. Out-farking-standing! I will PT you all until you farking die! I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!
 
2011-10-20 8:10:59 PM  
GySgt Ableman was keen enough to spot this douche-bag walking through the
Reno Airport in full dress blues with gloves and cover on. He stopped him
near the baggage claim and running into three Drill Instructors wasn't
something this guy had anticipated. If any of you know Gy Ableman, this kid
was lucky to leave with all his teeth intact.

From the get go, it was obvious this kid was not a Marine. He claimed to be
a PFC (wearing LCpl chevrons) and could not explain what a PFC chevron
looked like and then couldn't explain the NCO stripe on his trousers. He had
a collar emblem in the middle of his barracks cover and his belt was
sticking out. No ribbons or badges, his trousers were way too long, not to
mention he had on Sketcher boots instead of dress shoes and a civilian belt.
We found this out after we demanded that he take off the blouse and cover.


Turns out he bought the uniform from a surplus store and his dad is a
retired Navy Chief. Reno is a super-pro military area and this guy was
soaking in the atta-boys. Lot of posers out there, watch out!
 
2011-10-20 8:13:12 PM  
John Spartan approves.
 
2011-10-20 8:29:42 PM  

Pancoaifo: phoenixdan: FightDirector: Mom probably ran into the same asshole who confiscated my dog tags while i was flying back to Ft. Jackson - in uniform - because they could be "used as a garrote".

So, the TSA confiscated your dog tags? Is that even legal? (i know, it's the TSA) Aren't those military property or something? Just curious.

I don't think they're technically military property but they are required to be considered in uniform.

Would have loved to hear what the base command said to the TSA over that. "Are you telling me an American military uniform on an American servicemember is a security risk now?"


The real restaurant quality stupidity there is that the beaded chain that come with dog tags is designed to break so it can't be used as a garrote. You know, like if someone is trying to kill you in a war zone or something. If it was on that original chain then the guy was a world class douchebag.
 
2011-10-20 8:32:04 PM  
To clarify, douchebag either way. Just world class in that example.
 
2011-10-20 8:35:20 PM  
If God had wanted you purl stitch a potholder private Pyle he would've miracled your ass one by now!!
 
2011-10-20 9:29:28 PM  

Thac0isWhac0: GySgt Ableman was keen enough to spot this douche-bag walking through the
Reno Airport in full dress blues with gloves and cover on


Man, I would have loved to see that. I went through a "wear lots of army surplus" phase, and a few of the things had rank insignia on them when I got them. Any patches that would even imply service were all removed before I wore anything.
 
2011-10-20 10:03:31 PM  

Thac0isWhac0: GySgt Ableman was keen enough to spot this douche-bag walking through the
Reno Airport in full dress blues with gloves and cover on. He stopped him
near the baggage claim and running into three Drill Instructors wasn't
something this guy had anticipated. If any of you know Gy Ableman, this kid
was lucky to leave with all his teeth intact.


Dang it, why do all I ever get to see at the airport are fat tourists returning from someplace where they got too much sun and did not have working showers? This would have been a classic to see.
 
2011-10-20 10:21:53 PM  

Maechyll: FightDirector: anybody as badass as Ermey can knit whatever the hell he wants

Damn straight.

/yeah I know, he's an actor...


Yeah, but he was a Marine DI for several years before he got shipped off to Vietnam & later Okinawa.

When he was in "Full Metal Jackson", Stanley Kubrick was so impressed by Ermey that he allowed him to write & edit his own dialogue & improvise on the set, a rarity for a Kubrick film.
 
2011-10-20 11:24:42 PM  

Thac0isWhac0: GySgt Ableman was keen enough to spot this douche-bag walking through the
Reno Airport in full dress blues with gloves and cover on. He stopped him
near the baggage claim and running into three Drill Instructors wasn't
something this guy had anticipated. If any of you know Gy Ableman, this kid
was lucky to leave with all his teeth intact.

From the get go, it was obvious this kid was not a Marine. He claimed to be
a PFC (wearing LCpl chevrons) and could not explain what a PFC chevron
looked like and then couldn't explain the NCO stripe on his trousers. He had
a collar emblem in the middle of his barracks cover and his belt was
sticking out. No ribbons or badges, his trousers were way too long, not to
mention he had on Sketcher boots instead of dress shoes and a civilian belt.
We found this out after we demanded that he take off the blouse and cover.


Turns out he bought the uniform from a surplus store and his dad is a
retired Navy Chief. Reno is a super-pro military area and this guy was
soaking in the atta-boys. Lot of posers out there, watch out!


Dumbass kid should have had his ass kicked.

My only issue with people like the drill instructors that tore him a much needed new one is that some of them are purposefully looking for people to chew out. When I was in high school I bought an old navy wool shirt from a surplus store because it was warm and waterproof (much needed in Seattle), and I wore it pretty frequently. One day I'm standing at a bus stop when some asshole comes up and starts chewing me a new one for impersonating a navy officer, and how he's in the Marines and he knows I'm faking it, yada yada yada.

An entire bus stop full of people is just staring at the two of us now when finally a few guys from the crowd come up and start chewing him a new one because, apparently, they're Marines too, and they know I'm not trying to impersonate jack shiat, I'm just wearing a shirt (it should be pointed out that this was an old uniform top that was probably discontinued before I was born, and I, being a high school kid, was wearing old jeans and shoes, obviously not trying to look like I'm in the service), and that wearing old uniforms was not an offense.

Was very, very glad to slip onto the bus and leave those four fighting in the rain. People shouldn't try to impersonate uniformed military service members of any branch, but some people need to remember that surplus stores do sell old uniforms, and they do get worn by civilians as every day clothing.

/although, oddly enough, my uncle is in the Navy and laughed his ass off when he heard about the issue
//apparently they stopped making the uniform top I was wearing right around the time he was born, so the only person I could claim to be impersonating was a ghost
 
2011-10-20 11:46:50 PM  

scottydoesntknow: He's actually a retired drill instructor. He only plays an actor on TV


He was initially hired as a consultant on Full Metal Jacket by Kubrick. Once they got into pre-production, Kubrick realized that he'd never find anyone who could play a drill sergent as convincingly as Emery, so he cast him; and let him ad-lib his dialog that was the beginning of his acting career (onscreen, at least).

My favorite story from FMJ is this: they were shooting the scene where Emery is crewing the recruitsout with the rant that ends "I bet you're the kind of guy that would fark a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around. I'll be watching you."

Kubrick called cut, and then quietly asked from behind the camera, "What's a 'reach around"?"
 
2011-10-20 11:47:33 PM  
Let me see your knitting face!
 
2011-10-21 4:42:03 AM  
philhendrieshow.comView Full Size


WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DROPPED A STITCH, PRIVATE JOKER? DID YOUR MOMMY NOT TEACH YOU HOW TO KNIT? DO YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT A GODDAMN REAL MAN MARINE KNOWS HOW TO OPERATE TWO farkING KNITTING NEEDLES? YOU HAD BEST UNfark YOURSELF OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND shiat DOWN YOUR NECK! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, MAGGOT?
 
2011-10-21 7:24:49 AM  

Thac0isWhac0: And as far as giving people in uniform a "free pass" for whatever reason... Dog Tags can be made by anybody with the proper equipment, Surplus stores and thrift shops sell uniforms

And there have been imposters busted walking around airports before...


Yes, but a soldier traveling in uniform is usually going from one place to another and should be able to produce a valid military ID and/or a set of (travel) orders if they have any questions. No reason for them to take a soldier's dog tags.
 
Displayed 50 of 64 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.