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Honkey factory employees sending condolences, Hyundai builds your mom, and Kim Kardashian's $325k car that hauls ass: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/2 - 10/8
Posted by Unfreakable at 2011-10-11 5:04:17 PM (9 comments) | Permalink

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5011 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Oct 2011 at 5:11 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Nothing new this week, enjoy the headlines.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-10-02 to Sat 2011-10-08:

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  Experts say repetitive public safety announcements might do more harm than good. So don't start up with your white zone shiat again    
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  There was a toddler forced to swallow a spider. That wriggled and jiggled and tickled insider her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly, but the parents get jail time    
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  Rescue search using boat and helicopter carried out after Jupiter mistaken for distress flare. Authorities excuse error, say they did not planet that way    
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  Police follow DUI suspect from strip club by trail of leaking fluids. Ewww    
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  Doctors at Romero General Hospital think that cancer probably killed Steve Jobs, sorry to all of you that had "Rabid wolves" in the pool    
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  1 in 10 babies conceived on Ikea beds? I thought they were famous for missing screws    
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  Fire at cracker factory kills seven people. Honkey factory employees send their condolences    
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  Two workers injured in explosion at pasta plant. Paramedics say they knew the two victims weren't done because they didn't stick to the wall    
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  Mall yogurt stand worker heads to court after tainting frozen yogurt with semen. Hope they don't let that jerk off    
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  New UN skyscraper will cost 5x original estimates, with engineers tracing the overruns to problems designing a containment vessel for the sheer volume and density of bullshiat    
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  Woman in 80's saved from apartment fire. Why we're just hearing about this now, I don't know    
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Sports:

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  For the first time in 15 years, Tiger Woods not among golf's top 50 players. Golf players, at any rate    
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  Browns' center Alex Mack reportedly played Sunday despite appendicitis, ability to liquefy    
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  Infamous 'Bill Buckner' ball up for auction; don't let this deal pass you by    
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Geek:

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  Electric plane wins $1.35 million prize, should cover the cost of the power cord    
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  Steve Jobs' authorized biography release moved up to October 24. SPOILER ALERT: He dies    
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  Research shows oral sex may be leading cause of mouth/throat cancer. SOMEONE NEEDS THEIR FUNDING PULLED    
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Entertainment:

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  Fox to develop a new Mister Ed movie, beat a dead horse    
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  Kim Kardashian spends $325,000 on rare Ferrari that really hauls ass    
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  Vivid Entertainment owner Steve Hirsch has offered Amanda Knox a non-sex job as the companies spokesperson saying that he is confident that she will kill it    
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Politics:

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  Two more top Bachmann aides seen doing backstroke away from USS Crazyeyes    
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  Rick Santorum claims December primaries distract from "birth of our savior". Subby wonders what he is talking about - Obama was born in August    
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  White House announces new cyber security measures that will prevent "insiders" from stealing classified information and leak it to third parties. Just in time, too, because there's this new group called WikiLeaks who...oh, wait    
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Business:

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  Kodak shares plummet as bankruptcy develops. Unlike other, more modern companies, it will be a few days before we can see the whole picture    
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  BofA CEO defends bank's 'right to make a profit'. HD audio enhancement later discovers the quote included the mumbled word "obscene"    
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  CNN says the new Hyundai is a "sweet ride" with a "boring body." Which reminds me, say hi to your mom    
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· · ·

9 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2011-10-11 05:13:55 PM  
On Headline of the Year stuff, we're currently through May. I'll need to pick it up a bit the next month or so, but we're on track to kick things off around December 1 for the mainpage voting threads.
 
2011-10-11 05:25:09 PM  
That Honkey Factory headline is complete win
 
2011-10-11 05:46:50 PM  
I can't believe I missed that Alex Mack headline. Brilliant!

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2011-10-11 06:59:44 PM  
I liked the Kardashian hauling ass one.
 
2011-10-11 07:42:32 PM  

8 inches: I liked the Kardashian hauling ass one.


The last comment in the Kardashian thread pretty much sums it up I think.

/would love to have that biatches' car though.
 
2011-10-11 08:15:28 PM  
If any of the recent "short answer/long answer" headlines make HotW next week, it will constitute definitive proof that Fark is no longer any good.

/kidding.... OR AM I?
 
2011-10-11 08:35:27 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: If any of the recent "short answer/long answer" headlines make HotW next week, it will constitute definitive proof that Fark is no longer any good.

/kidding.... OR AM I?


are you my alt?
 
2011-10-11 09:01:29 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: If any of the recent "short answer/long answer" headlines make HotW next week, it will constitute definitive proof that Fark is no longer any good.

/kidding.... OR AM I?


Short answer? No. Long answer? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
 
2011-10-11 09:02:27 PM  

ultrachronic: That Honkey Factory headline is complete win


I now dream of working at the honkey factory.
 
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