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(   If you lost a penis in Australia, the police are looking for you   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

8249 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2003 at 2:08 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

60 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-09-17 12:18:06 PM  
*looks down*

Nope, not me.
2003-09-17 12:31:07 PM  
I am in the market for a second penis. Just for weekends and holidays, you know?
2003-09-17 12:34:22 PM  
There are some parts even the crocs dont want....
2003-09-17 12:39:53 PM  
Has anyone seen this prick?
2003-09-17 12:45:58 PM  
HPZ [TotalFark]
2003-09-17 01:19:24 PM  
C'mon, now, who hasn't lost a penis in Australia at one time or another?
2003-09-17 01:20:50 PM  
I found it. It was on Second Avenue lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
2003-09-17 01:58:36 PM  
Look for anyone sitting down, eating pie.
2003-09-17 02:11:32 PM  
There is some lunatic out there who just cut off his member, be on the lookout for lonely loser who suddenly has strange demonic powers and an urge to lay waste to humanity.
2003-09-17 02:14:17 PM  
Great, another dick running lose in Australia.
2003-09-17 02:15:30 PM  
Someone should tell this fellow about this.
2003-09-17 02:15:56 PM  
Someone running around half-cocked?
2003-09-17 02:16:23 PM  

I found it. It was on Second Avenue lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.

Nice King Missile reference! I still love that song.
2003-09-17 02:17:40 PM  
Someone please threadjack these comments.
2003-09-17 02:17:45 PM  
So I misplace things, now it's a crime!?
2003-09-17 02:18:02 PM  
So THAT'S where it is!
2003-09-17 02:18:10 PM  
It probably belongs to a victim of William 'the mutilator' MacDonald.

/serial killer reference
2003-09-17 02:18:45 PM  
All he wanted was a little off the top. Sheesh!
2003-09-17 02:19:35 PM  
I don't remember going to Australia...
2003-09-17 02:20:12 PM  
If its over 16" it might be mine.
2003-09-17 02:20:54 PM  
Was it found in a Wheelie Bin?
2003-09-17 02:21:29 PM  
Was it painted like an Amrican Flag?
2003-09-17 02:22:35 PM  
Somebody took the phrase "Hide the willy" alittle too literal.
2003-09-17 02:22:51 PM  
Does it answer to the name "Chico"?
2003-09-17 02:22:59 PM  
Put it down, it's a farking vombie penis!

Never stopping after death,
Tracks your whereabouts by sniffing out your breath
It keeps coming, coming to get you
You are not safe from
2003-09-17 02:23:48 PM  
Reminds me of this story, which happened in small town Nebraska ...

Turned out to be not that bad, but still pretty weird ...
2003-09-17 02:24:54 PM  
"I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing."

following your lead, EASTHAM.
2003-09-17 02:27:18 PM  
come on farkers... not ONE Loraina Bobbit reference?
2003-09-17 02:27:55 PM  
2003-09-17 02:27:58 PM  
"It wasn't me! It was the no-penised man!"
2003-09-17 02:29:00 PM  
Oh thank you god, I thought I'd never find it... wait.
Damn, I thought it said Austria.
2003-09-17 02:29:21 PM  
dredogg, I think someone took the phrase "free willy' a little too seriously too.
2003-09-17 02:29:53 PM  
I can't think of a Skippy The Bush Kangaroo joke.

Anyone else have any luck?
2003-09-17 02:31:11 PM  
He probably had it ripped off when it was violently sucked into the dyke's hole.
2003-09-17 02:32:32 PM  
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.

This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can't for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn't seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don't know.
Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
/King Missle
2003-09-17 02:35:06 PM  
It would have been funny if they found the penis in the Bush.
2003-09-17 02:35:10 PM  
See ya guys, I have to go back to Austrialia.
Be back to comment later.
2003-09-17 02:36:39 PM  

Yep, pretty weird... Makes you wonder about the law enforcement officials if they can't tell a cow tit from a penis. LOL
2003-09-17 02:37:37 PM  
I was gonna post classic King Missile, but it seems like Rually beat me to it.

/now I have nothing to add :(
2003-09-17 02:37:47 PM  
"Found by a local in a dam"??? Shouldn't that be 'found by a local who said, "DAMN!"'?
2003-09-17 02:42:18 PM  
maybe it belongs to the ex-girlfriend's dude in the earlier NSFW thread.
2003-09-17 02:46:25 PM  
Yet another reason not to drink Southern Comfort... if you needed one?
2003-09-17 02:49:40 PM  
"Lorenna Bobbitt, recently returned from an Australian vacation, had no comment."

There, jubjub0527.
2003-09-17 02:54:40 PM  
2003-09-17 02:57:40 PM  
"at first I thought it might be a fish, or a boneless chicken breast, or something of that nature . . . "
2003-09-17 02:59:14 PM  
Do we really have to go nuts with the King Missile crap every time an article about a penis is posted?
2003-09-17 03:02:44 PM  
pingle_blobber thanks I needed to see that. the funiest thing about that page has got to be the click to enlarge button under the pic
2003-09-17 03:08:30 PM  
"Is that like a GOD dam?"
2003-09-17 03:12:25 PM  
"He says police will now search missing persons records to try to identify the body." I didn't know that kind of thing came up in missing person records. what the hell does the description read like?
2003-09-17 03:20:28 PM  
"thats not a knife, thats a penis"
2003-09-17 03:21:48 PM  
Isn't that a Tony Bennett song? "I lost my wang in Australia."
2003-09-17 03:23:37 PM  
In Australia.. sometimes the sheep gets angry.
2003-09-17 03:32:03 PM  
Decomposed penis found in SA dam

Something Awful has a dam?
2003-09-17 03:37:59 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-09-17 04:46:28 PM  
"Crikey! Look at this fella! He's gorgeous! This looks like a one-eyed trouser snake and it appears that he's carrying a dingo's nutsack, uh oh, back up, he's going to spit!"
2003-09-17 05:39:47 PM  
New meaning to the song "Down Under"
/can't you hear the thunder?
2003-09-17 05:41:53 PM  
Even when I go to Australia I like to leave a huge tip.

2003-09-17 07:11:46 PM  
Damn yeah, it was me. I left it on my nightstand in the hotel when I was staying in kookadidgeriburradoo.
2003-09-17 08:00:15 PM  
LOL! Thanks, midgettossa!
2003-09-17 09:15:50 PM  
this is the greatest comments page i have ever seen. It should be archived as an example to all farkers about how to post. No off topic posts (except mine I guess, they can cut it out later). Every post adding to the story and, above all farking hilarious. /gets off soap box
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