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(Fark)   Tfer had his lunch ruined. There is DIT   (fark.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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19138 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2011 at 5:02 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2011-07-01 1:54:29 PM  
Oh man... My boss is away on vacation so I am in charge of the minions today. I decided that since its slow I would let some people leave early. As I was walking around checking to see how things are going, I noticed that one of the reps wasnt in their office. I figured Id stop back and talk to them and went to take a leak. I open the door to walk into the bathroom and the rep is half-leaning/half squatting in the corner. He had his pants to his knees and he was wanking his dick like he was going to lose it. I quickly left and tried to erase the image from my mind.


Before you say it, no... I so wish I was making this up.

wtf man?

Aside from the CSB, I guess I want to know, have you ever been witness to a accidental fapping either at work or somewhere else?

How long did it take to remove that mental image?

Did it turn you on?
 
2011-07-01 1:55:26 PM  
F*ck him like he stole something.
 
2011-07-01 1:55:40 PM  
apparently he isnt back in his office and his car isnt in the lot.


cant wait till tuesday
 
2011-07-01 1:55:42 PM  
ZOMG cranked XD
 
2011-07-01 1:56:03 PM  
Hahahahaha...I'm not saying I've ever wanked it in the bathroom...but I'm not saying I haven't, either.
 
2011-07-01 1:56:13 PM  
Pics
Blackmail
Profit
 
2011-07-01 1:56:24 PM  

rostit: apparently he isnt back in his office and his car isnt in the lot.

cant wait till tuesday


Can you call him and ask him why he left the office?

//Bored
 
2011-07-01 1:56:30 PM  

rostit: I want to know, have you ever been witness to a accidental fapping either at work or somewhere else?

How long did it take to remove that mental image?

Did it turn you on?



I worked in a library with a lab that had a glass wall in the rear of the lab. The number of morons who didn't notice the FLOOR TO CEILING GLASS WALL was astounding. I don't think it was the fapping I found disturbing so much as the terribly poor choices in porn that idiots made.
 
2011-07-01 1:56:46 PM  

rostit: Aside from the CSB, I guess I want to know, have you ever been witness to a accidental fapping either at work or somewhere else?


I can say with full confidence I've never accidentally fapped.
 
2011-07-01 1:56:57 PM  
I would have watched.

And I don't know why.

I would have asked him to finish too.
 
2011-07-01 1:57:11 PM  
Well, that's a firing.

No, really.

You should fire that person.
 
2011-07-01 1:57:18 PM  
So, I tried the new middle eastern place by me, and it was FAN farkING TASTIC. I'm on a super, super high from the Turkish coffee.

You'd think I'd put that energy into work...you'd be wrong!!
 
2011-07-01 1:57:19 PM  
Did he make eye contact?
 
2011-07-01 1:57:22 PM  

generalDisdain: Can you call him and ask him why he left the office?


no. I dont really care. Bathroom is private time. Its been a while since I felt the need to release at work, but I guess diff'rent strokes right?
 
2011-07-01 1:57:51 PM  
Holy shiat that's hilarious.

rostit: Aside from the CSB, I guess I want to know, have you ever been witness to a accidental fapping either at work or somewhere else?


I suspect as much. I was taking a dump a week or two ago, and I heard grunting and what sounded like fapping coming from a couple stalls down. I heard one final "UUGGHHH" and then the guy walked out.
 
2011-07-01 1:58:50 PM  
...he didn't even go into a stall to do it? If it's a single occupancy bathroom, then why wouldn't he have locked the door?
 
2011-07-01 1:58:57 PM  
And of course the interesting thread has to appear when I'm leaving work.

Goddammit.
 
2011-07-01 1:58:57 PM  
was it a one person bathroom? If so, why the f didn't he lock the door? Was there a stall? If so, why the f wasn't he in it??


thejoyofpi: You should fire that person.


This. Not for being inappropriate, for being farking stupid.
 
2011-07-01 1:59:06 PM  
Ill talk to him next week. No need to let the boss know. Ill send him a memo about locking the damn door.
 
2011-07-01 1:59:28 PM  

Diogenes: I can say with full confidence I've never accidentally fapped.


You had to have, at least once. Otherwise, that means...someone taught you how to jerk off? Ew.
 
2011-07-01 1:59:28 PM  
"It was hot and I was hungry!"
 
2011-07-01 1:59:45 PM  

what_now: was it a one person bathroom? If so, why the f didn't he lock the door? Was there a stall? If so, why the f wasn't he in it??


hahaha...great minds think alike.
 
2011-07-01 1:59:51 PM  
Look, someone who has such poor impulse control that they would fap at work is also likely to be the kind of person who sexually harasses someone at work. Because they have no idea about boundaries and they have no self control. Do you want the risk of a sexual harassment lawsuit?
 
2011-07-01 1:59:58 PM  
Oh, the fun you'll have Tuesday.
 
2011-07-01 2:00:05 PM  

Fondle My Sweaters: then why wouldn't he have locked the door?


Obvious. He wanted some rostit lovin'.
 
2011-07-01 2:00:07 PM  

what_now: So, I tried the new middle eastern place by me, and it was FAN farkING TASTIC. I'm on a super, super high from the Turkish coffee.

You'd think I'd put that energy into work...you'd be wrong!!


O_o

rostit: Before you say it, no... I so wish I was making this up.


O_O

I'm out ...
 
2011-07-01 2:00:25 PM  

kwame: Diogenes: I can say with full confidence I've never accidentally fapped.

You had to have, at least once. Otherwise, that means...someone taught you how to jerk off? Ew.


Nah. I just put two and two together. I already knew how farking worked.
 
2011-07-01 2:00:43 PM  

rostit: but I guess diff'rent strokes right?


This whole thread was a set-up for this one line, wasn't it?
 
2011-07-01 2:00:47 PM  

Fondle My Sweaters: ...he didn't even go into a stall to do it? If it's a single occupancy bathroom, then why wouldn't he have locked the door?


there are only 5 people here today. and Im the only other male besides him here. Im guessing he didnt expect me to walk in. I usually jiggle the handle of the BR door, but I really had to pee.

I should have walked in and used the urinal with him there and then left like I didnt notice. That would have been gold.
 
cjo
2011-07-01 2:00:55 PM  
I would have went straight to the ladies room and hoped for the same. Except female.
 
2011-07-01 2:01:11 PM  

Al_Ed: Did he make eye contact?


THIS IS IMPORTANT (hehehe)
 
2011-07-01 2:01:16 PM  
There were fireworks in the park near my house on Wednesday night. Walking back I saw a drunk guy taking a dump in a potted plant in someone's front yard.

I bet that guy thought he had it so good.
 
2011-07-01 2:01:33 PM  
maybe his penis was on fire and he was trying to put it out.
 
2011-07-01 2:02:16 PM  
Go write down everything you saw. Really.
 
2011-07-01 2:02:22 PM  

rostit: Fondle My Sweaters: ...he didn't even go into a stall to do it? If it's a single occupancy bathroom, then why wouldn't he have locked the door?

there are only 5 people here today. and Im the only other male besides him here. Im guessing he didnt expect me to walk in. I usually jiggle the handle of the BR door, but I really had to pee.

I should have walked in and used the urinal with him there and then left like I didnt notice. That would have been gold.


So he definitely knows you saw him, then?
 
2011-07-01 2:02:31 PM  
Im going with he had a deer tick and had to massage the head out of his 'head'.

/I hope he at least cleaned up after he finished.
 
2011-07-01 2:02:55 PM  

sarahthustra: maybe his penis was on fire and he was trying to put it out.


if I had a dime for every time I accidentally set my penis on fire.....
 
2011-07-01 2:03:00 PM  
Is it a unisex bathroom or men's only? Oh and, EWWW.
 
2011-07-01 2:03:20 PM  

EviLincoln: Go write down everything you saw. Really.


Yeah this. Create a paper trail at least so if there's future problematic behavior from this guy you'll have the record of this incident.
 
2011-07-01 2:03:29 PM  

sarahthustra: maybe his penis was on fire and he was trying to put it out.


That's exactly how I figured out how to whack it.
 
2011-07-01 2:03:41 PM  

EviLincoln: Go write down everything you saw. Really.


Ill save the thread.

stainedglassdoll: So he definitely knows you saw him, then?


I stepped out right as we almost locked eyes. you cant lock eyes with another guy like that or you have to have sex. I cant have sex with a guy at work. Im a manager.
 
2011-07-01 2:03:42 PM  
I just can't even understand the appeal of fapping in a public bathroom. It's so gross.

Although last week there was a woman in the bathroom who was either having an EXTREMELY gratifying dump, or she was jilling off on the toilet, because she was moaning very audibly in one of the stalls.
 
2011-07-01 2:03:49 PM  

rostit: Oh man... My boss is away on vacation so I am in charge of the minions today. I decided that since its slow I would let some people leave early. As I was walking around checking to see how things are going, I noticed that one of the reps wasnt in their office. I figured Id stop back and talk to them and went to take a leak. I open the door to walk into the bathroom and the rep is half-leaning/half squatting in the corner. He had his pants to his knees and he was wanking his dick like he was going to lose it. I quickly left and tried to erase the image from my mind.


Before you say it, no... I so wish I was making this up.

wtf man?

Aside from the CSB, I guess I want to know, have you ever been witness to a accidental fapping either at work or somewhere else?

How long did it take to remove that mental image?

Did it turn you on?


A floor manager's daughter works for a small shop that does t-shirt/sweatshirt customizations with sports logos and such. One day she was leaving and realized she had left her phone in the back office. When she went back to retrieve the phone, her boss was molding his claypud. She freaked out and left. For some reason, she keeps working for the guy...
 
2011-07-01 2:04:27 PM  

kwame: sarahthustra: maybe his penis was on fire and he was trying to put it out.

That's exactly how I figured out how to whack it


First time I did it I used a remnant piece of carpet fromt he bathroom remodel.
 
2011-07-01 2:04:29 PM  

E-Brake: Is it a unisex bathroom or men's only?


Yeah, I could see yankin' it in a unisex bathroom, but a men's room is kinda gay.
 
2011-07-01 2:04:38 PM  

Barnacles!: Al_Ed: Did he make eye contact?

THIS IS IMPORTANT (hehehe)


Oh. My. God! I've got tears in my eyes!!
 
2011-07-01 2:04:41 PM  

Fondle My Sweaters: I just can't even understand the appeal of fapping in a public bathroom. It's so gross.

Although last week there was a woman in the bathroom who was either having an EXTREMELY gratifying dump, or she was jilling off on the toilet, because she was moaning very audibly in one of the stalls.


Poopgasm?
 
2011-07-01 2:05:07 PM  
Ask him where Catwoman is hiding. When he gives you a blank look, say: I saw ya waxing the Batpole, I figured she had to be around here somewhere.
 
2011-07-01 2:05:16 PM  
Well I just had this image of rostit slipping on the dead baby pool left by his coworker
 
2011-07-01 2:05:19 PM  
You joined him, didn't you?
 
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