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(NBC)   Woman -- 5 feet 3 1/2 inches tall and 105 pounds -- kicks bear's ass. "Apparently, it was planning to eat her"   ( divider line
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20338 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2003 at 1:46 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2003-08-13 10:13:05 AM  
If there were a picture of her, I could say "So would I!"


/got nuthin'
2003-08-13 10:16:59 AM  
Now if she was 3 feet 2 1/2 inches tall 85 lbs. with a flat head, we have something here
2003-08-13 10:20:18 AM  
"The bear kept looking for her, standing on its hind legs, grunting and sniffing the air."

Sounds more like he wanted to do something else to her.
2003-08-13 10:32:25 AM  
I used to live in Northern Jersey (not far from Wayawanda, in West Milford) and the bears are all over the place. Nothing like getting ready to go to work and seeing a black bear looking in your Saturn.
2003-08-13 10:35:09 AM  
Short chicks kick ass!

I dunno what it is about short fiery women, but Dee Am... Perhaps it's the idea that you can just pick them up and move them this way and that - practically spin them on The Captain - which may explain my long term hotness toward Katy Couric, Dorithy Hammell, Gloria Ruben, et al.

[/home sick]
2003-08-13 10:45:27 AM  
I believe the correct term is 'spinners' bump.
2003-08-13 10:53:21 AM  
Mandrax I'm going to use that excuse next time I'm late for work.
2003-08-13 11:19:03 AM  
That wont work for you DownSouth

Now you could say an escapee from CCI, now that would work..
2003-08-13 11:22:10 AM  
I'll tell them it was from the zoo. Yeah that's it.
2003-08-13 11:24:59 AM  
DownSouth: Living in Columbia, you might have a harder time but best of luck to you...
2003-08-13 11:47:35 AM  
never mess with a pissed off woman

/lesson learned
2003-08-13 1:50:08 PM  
*gobble gobble*

/haven't seen Gigli, but heard about it.
2003-08-13 1:51:10 PM  
Now that is some kinky shiat.
2003-08-13 1:52:01 PM  
2003-08-13 11:24:59 AM Mandrax

That's why I told him it needs to be a CCI escapee
2003-08-13 1:52:17 PM  
The local police sketch artist came up with a drawing of the beast.
[image from too old to be available]
2003-08-13 1:54:12 PM  
Do bears in New Jersey have mullets?
2003-08-13 1:55:38 PM  
She deserves it. It's stupid to go hiking in bear country without pepper spray or a gun. Darwin was right.
2003-08-13 1:55:45 PM  
Sounds like my ex.

/rubs black eye
2003-08-13 1:55:52 PM  
And now the rest of the story:

A teaser....

DEP official: Bruin wasn't trying to eat Vernon hiker

By Rob Jennings, Daily Record

A 400-pound black bear that pounced on a Vernon hiker was not trying to eat her, New Jersey's top environmental official said Tuesday in refuting a description by his spokesman about Sunday's apparent attack in Wawayanda State Park.

Department of Environmental Protection Commissioner Bradley M. Campbell added that he "had no reason to doubt the victim's account" of being chased and pulled down by the bruin on the Wingdam Trail.

The trail remained closed Tuesday evening, with the bear on the loose and unlikely to be found, Campbell said.

"In any incident like this, where we don't have other eyewitnesses, we rely on (her) account. We don't have any basis on which to doubt the victim's account," Campbell said.

A black-bear expert in Minnesota, though, said Tuesday that he didn't find the 18-year-old woman's story credible.

Not causing trouble, just saw this today in our local paper. WHo do I believe? The NJDEP or the NJDEP?
2003-08-13 1:56:30 PM  
excuse my computer idiotness...why can't i seem to post pics in the comments section?
2003-08-13 1:56:30 PM  
I didn't know NJ had bears.
2003-08-13 1:56:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-08-13 1:57:00 PM  
"And they just don't come no better than a bear..."

/Lyle Lovett
2003-08-13 1:58:20 PM  
BS - if the bear wanted to eat her they would have found table scraps.
2003-08-13 1:58:42 PM  
"The state's growing bear population is estimated at 1,500 to 3,000. All are black bears."

Damn blacks.

(just kidding, sheesh)
2003-08-13 1:59:27 PM  
This Kaskey guy sounds all farked up..

It appears the bear didn't use its claws, but its pads, which are abrasive but not sharp does not sound like it was a classic predatory attack," Kaskey said. "Apparently, it was planning to eat her."
2003-08-13 1:59:41 PM  
Fire up the pit! It's time for a good old fashioned
2003-08-13 2:25:18 PM  
Hitting it once in the nose is hardly kicking its ass. Now the old man with the pocketknife? He kicked some ass.
2003-08-13 2:26:14 PM  
Anyone remember this happened on All My Children to Erica Kane? And she won by *telling off* the Bear? "I'm Erica Kane!!!" No truth to the rumor the "Bear" represented the Daytime Emmy committee either...
2003-08-13 2:26:32 PM  
Is something slowing down Fark?

/back to the Yogi killin biatch
2003-08-13 2:26:47 PM  
Why haven't all these bears been killed-off long ago?
2003-08-13 2:28:01 PM  
these bears had no comment

[image from too old to be available]
2003-08-13 2:29:10 PM  
Looks like she kicked its bare behind.

//I got nothin'
2003-08-13 2:29:46 PM  
The other unprovoked bear attack this year was in May, when a bear swatted a 2-year-old boy in Sparta. That bear was shot and killed.

2003-08-13 2:30:28 PM  
She was equipped with the bear essentials.
2003-08-13 2:30:43 PM  
i was having image posting problems myself...
2003-08-13 2:30:58 PM  
CBS News Not "Fair and Balanced", says NJ Bear, Officials Agree.
I'd submit a followup, but learned how that works 12,678 submissions ago.
2003-08-13 2:31:32 PM  
I thought this deserved a "hero" tag.

About 10 years ago I was camping out in the White Mountains. I woke up in my tent because someone was snoring loudly. "Wow," I thought, "that guy snores worse than I do." Then I went back to sleep. A few minutes later I woke up again because someone was banging pots and pans. The next morning I asked the people in the next camp site what all the noise was and they said a black bear had been wandering around. That's when I realized the snoring I'd heard had been the bear sniffing around my tent. Now, if I'd realized what it was at the time I would have been awake all night in terror. As it was, I just rolled over and went back to sleep.
2003-08-13 2:32:54 PM  
That was no bear.
[image from too old to be available]
2003-08-13 2:33:36 PM  
Women should be eaten.
2003-08-13 2:35:00 PM  
As one hiker said to another, "I don't have to out run the bear, you just have to out run you."
2003-08-13 2:35:16 PM  
Black bears are everywhere. Had it been a grizzly, the story would have been about them finding a few bones in the woods that may have belonged to a missing hiker.

Black bears do a lot of scavenging in trash around the growing number of suburbs that are encroaching on the animals' habitat. They are quite small compared to other bear species, and pretty much never attack humans unprovoked, as they are generally more afraid of us than we are of them. That's probably why the expert didn't find the story credible. Personally, I think there were other circumstances the woman isn't reporting. She must have pissed off the bear somehow to get it to attack her.

Every year in Denver there would be at least 3 or 4 stories about black bears scavenging around neighborhoods while some stupid housewife complained that they should do something about all these black bears in her 2 year old house that was built in what was the middle of the wilderness a few years ago.
2003-08-13 2:35:37 PM  
"When confronted with a black bear, people should back away slowly, raise their arms, and make noise by shouting or banging objects, he said."

Banging objects? Hee hee. I think that's what the beaer was trying to do in the first place.
2003-08-13 2:36:34 PM  
beaer = bear, not beyer or bearer
2003-08-13 2:36:58 PM  
That's right. "Once you go bear, you'll, uh, like them with lots of hair."
2003-08-13 2:38:07 PM  
Thelyphthoric, what does "thelyphthoric" mean? Anything? Just curious.
2003-08-13 2:39:25 PM  
Curiously, all her welts were on her shoulders and ass...
2003-08-13 2:42:28 PM  

Finally, someone asks.
Per Peter Bowler's "The SUperior Persons Book of Words":

"THELYPHTORIC a. That which corrupts women. The author's sources do not, unfortunately, identify the object so described; if any reader has one, perhaps he would be kind enough to send it to the author, enclosed in a plain wrapper"
2003-08-13 2:42:30 PM  
So she fought off a bear, big deal. Wake me up when she fights off a cougar with a pocket knife. That would be something.
2003-08-13 2:49:26 PM  
And the story where the 2 year old got swatted? Turned out the mother was feeding the bear (leaving out food for it) and it showed up one day looking for a meal. SHe failed to mention that to the police and it only came up a few days later when the DEP interviewed her.

"No Big Macs? Then I eat your children!"

I ain't one of those dirty, hippie tree-huggers, but to just up and kill an animal because it encroaches on your living space (which was once the bears' for centuries) makes Baby Boo-boo cry!
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