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(BBC)   Dead woman told by council to tidy own grave   ( divider line
    More: Asinine  
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8373 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2003 at 6:50 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

42 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-08-13 6:53:58 AM  
As well she should, too! Damn corpses nowadays, too lazy to clean up after themselves. This'll show 'em! Bah! Laziness is so rampant nowadays...
2003-08-13 6:54:13 AM  
And another thing, turned down your stero its loud enough to wake the dead!
2003-08-13 6:54:44 AM  
You know, sometimes at night I get really cynical and think "You know, people really can't get any dumber then they are. Just can't happen. It's the 21st century."

*shakes head*

Really, how farking stupid did our competition have to be for us to get this far evolution-wise?
2003-08-13 6:56:10 AM  
well if I remember right the CroMagnus had a larger brain

maybe they died laughing?
2003-08-13 6:58:28 AM  
Maybe it was a joke that went just a bit too far, thats all- I bet.
2003-08-13 6:58:40 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

....The council had also been recieving complaints concerning her feasting on human flesh also, but found no restrictions in the bylaws against it...
2003-08-13 6:58:48 AM  
old people have always been a problem. they should be killed at birth.

now, old dead people are even worse.
2003-08-13 6:59:40 AM  
Thing is, whilst the council have appologised for the strong wording of the letter, knowing what councils are like I'm betting that in 14 days the vases will be removed un;ess someone else does. At which point the council will send another letter billing them for the removal.
Local councils are one of the main bastions of jobsworths and asshats in the UK.
2003-08-13 7:05:55 AM  
I was in a ward full of 60,70,80 year old grave dodgers (but it being hospital, they weren't dodging it by much) last week. I want to know why old British men are all called Ron, and spend all their time in hospital talking about previous times they were in hospial.
2003-08-13 7:13:49 AM  
While we're on the subject of Britain, has anyone here ever been to england? Man, i just went 2 weeks ago, I'm like a god there. I have all my teeth and my ears are in proportion to my head. I was practically a sex icon.
2003-08-13 7:15:58 AM  
No, but I went to America once, and I was so slim and had such a small arse, and ate in comparison so little, and spoke such correct English that they thought I was an alien...
2003-08-13 7:17:20 AM  
What are these silly dead people thinking?

Not keeping their own graves tidy...
2003-08-13 7:19:10 AM  
If I were the lady's husband, this would be my reply:

"Dear Leeds City Council,

I received your letter dated (fill in date) asking me to remove the vases surrounding my grave.

I would like to comply with your ordinance, however, bacteria and maggots are currently eating my flesh and I will be unable to fulfill your request.

Thank you for your understanding.

See you in Hell!

Mrs. Thoms (not Thomas, you farktards!)"

.....but that's the kind of sick fark that I am.
2003-08-13 7:32:13 AM  
I've been to England Kurtcrawler, and I wholeheartedly agree.

On a similar note, I was on a boat trip in Scotland at the weekend, and there was a hot American girl, with nice tanned legs, lovely teeth and all her bits in the right place (the things these surgeons can do!) and I was thinking of maybe chatting to her and seeing if she fancied going out with me later on that evening when she turned round, and I swear this is true, she said to her friend

"You know this trip is a real rip off. 5 each and these guys aren't even doing any commentatoring"
2003-08-13 7:35:08 AM  
No pound signs on Fark?
2003-08-13 7:40:32 AM  
The times I've been in America everyone has either been very fat, or very fit.

Except in L.A. where everyone was either a total freak, or an elderly total freak attempting to disguise their sun-leathered lizard skin with thousands and thousands of dollars worth of plastic surgery.
2003-08-13 7:42:32 AM  
The times I've been in America everyone has either been very fat, or very fit.

I mean to emphasise the point that there are very few normal (average) people, but I forgot.
2003-08-13 7:48:07 AM  
...what bearing whatsoever does that have on this article, RobW
2003-08-13 7:51:24 AM  
read the above messages first
2003-08-13 7:53:46 AM  
Its not that big a ahead before asking, eh love?
2003-08-13 7:58:23 AM  
jay_vee - I want to know why old British men are all called Ron, and spend all their time in hospital talking about previous times they were in hospial.

It's a tradition or an old charter or something.
2003-08-13 8:01:39 AM  
She's Dead, Jim.......
2003-08-13 8:03:19 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

hosting 3..2...1
2003-08-13 8:04:08 AM  
I saw you whilst you were over KurtCrawler. And I thought you were farking ugly.
2003-08-13 8:13:23 AM  

Love the letter! But you forgot to add one thing.

Here... add this:

"..... and you all need to kiss my ass. I'll be waiting for you to dig me up for that one. I'm waiting! Come and kiss my dead bug infested ass!"

Yours truly dead,

The Farking Dead Woman with the misspelled name.
2003-08-13 8:27:22 AM  
Last time I was in the states I got kicked out of a mall for being too lithe.

No shiat.
2003-08-13 8:46:39 AM  








2003-08-13 8:48:10 AM  
Last time I was in the States everyone had the intelligence of the Leeds community Council. I had Americans tell me that Heineken was better beer than Grolsch. Me being Dutch and having studied for seven years (the study actually only takes 4 years....) I KNOW what is better beer. Trust me!

P.s. People all over the world are ugly.... just flip through yearbooks. Americans are overweight, the english are overbred... same farking difference!
2003-08-13 8:48:46 AM  
Dead people are uglier however!
2003-08-13 8:49:01 AM  
too lithe?

Wtf?! How can anyone get kicked out of the mall for being too lithe.... ??? What EXACTLY were you doing?
2003-08-13 8:53:54 AM  
one problem with the letter. the woman was cremated not buried.
2003-08-13 9:17:37 AM  
Good point, yemtol.

If the husband hadn't scattered the ashes, he could have just taken the urn, the vases, the nasty artificial flowers, and gone home.

Note to self...
2003-08-13 9:40:56 AM  

Good point. Forgot about that one. DOH!

OK, so we amend the letter to tell the city council to roll up her ashes and smoke them.
2003-08-13 9:41:56 AM  
yemtol, read the farking story before posting you idiot. The explanation is in the second damn paragraph.

"Leeds City Council mistakenly gave Moira Thoms 14 days to remove two vases, each containing a single white rose, from around the plaque at Lawnswood Cemetery where her ashes are scattered."
2003-08-13 10:46:58 AM  
2003-08-13 11:23:45 AM  
They always try to dig up something to harrass you about.
2003-08-13 12:08:55 PM  
Being dead is not an excuse for being lazy.
Bloody corpses! All they do is lay about all day, stinking up the place.
2003-08-13 12:25:33 PM  
You can always tell who's a tourist in NYC. They are fat, walk slowly, and look up all the time. Also they're the only ones in the McDonalds.
2003-08-13 12:29:03 PM  
How about the fact that this guy claims he had come to terms with his wife's death, but a letter addressed to her gave him 'the shock of his life'.

Over-reaction maybe?
2003-08-13 1:00:27 PM  
Good God, so much fuzz over a dead woman??... Those crazy really don't have anything good to waste their time on...

/Wating for Germany to do something about it
2003-08-13 1:14:55 PM  
Well, woman, it's not going to tidy itself! Get to tidying!
2003-08-13 1:40:15 PM  
Yeah, but Americans will put down the beer, switch the TV off, wrap up the burger for later--wait, I gotta' take a rest, I wonder what's on TV...
turn off the TV, put down the beer...oh, Friends! I love this episode.

Anyway, turn off the TV, get another beer, turn the TV on, finish the beer, turn it off and then come kick your ass if you have oil that we want.
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