FARK.com: Blog (218): Thoughts on where we're at in the Osama bin Laden coverage media cycle, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/24

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Thoughts on where we're at in the Osama bin Laden coverage media cycle, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/24 - 4/30
Posted by Drew at 2011-05-03 3:49:04 PM, edited 2011-05-03 4:45:19 PM (38 comments) | Permalink

More: FarkBlog, Osama bin Laden, royal wedding, Fark, media circus

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Just think: If SEAL Team Six had killed Bin Laden early Friday morning, we might have escaped all that Royal Wedding coverage...

News coverage of Bin Laden's death has blown pretty much every other story off the main page of news websites everywhere. Which is great, but even this is going to get old in a day or two. Still, a number of potential hooks to the story remain. Here's a few of them in no particular order.

- Were the Pakistanis complicit or incompetent? Pakistan issued a formal statement saying that the death of Bin Laden shows the resolve of Pakistan to battle terrorism. Perfect answer, classic Ignore The Question 101.

- Bin Laden "resisted". Those of us who know what this means are winking at each other. For everyone else, best if they not know.

- News folks seem to mix up the words "Obama" and "Osama" a lot. Yesterday morning I heard the NPR lady do it, which would have been confusing as hell to anyone who tuned in just when she said "Obama was killed". I'm sure they would have eventually figured it out. I did it myself in the bar last night. Alcohol was a factor.

It's too bad they buried bin Laden at sea, I would have loved to see if the Westboro Baptist Church would have protested that funeral. Note that an actual squad was sent into the compound, not huge bombs, drones, or robots. The reason why? We needed a body. Otherwise people would continue to insist for years that Bin Laden was actually born in Kenya. But if you think about it, there was one other really good reason to send a squad in rather than nuke the compound from orbit...

The best part: we got Bin Laden's hard drive. Hilarity is sure to ensue. Also, my favorite Fark Headline of the media frenzy so far: "Final bin Laden message likely to surface soon. May include 'Is that someone is at the door?'"

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2011-04-24 to Sat 2011-04-30:

Teen tries to feed shark, succeeds

Inventor of the teleprompter dies. President Obama said to be at a "loss for words"

News of the typewriter's death have been greatly exaggera ed

As China ages, the youth in Asia will face difficult decisions

Niger, pleas for help

Former Miss Russia, living in NYC, previously arrested for forging prescriptions, now busted for shoplifting. Cops say she still hasn't gotten her Berings Strait

Doctors to use magnets to battle ovarian cancer. Will work great on women who aren't bipolar

Doctors reassure men everywhere that Short Penis Syndrome is mostly in your head. Your below-average, unimpressive, laughably small head

Witnesses in Florida report seeing a UFO the size of a football field. They didn't notice an end zone on it, suggesting the UFO is from Michigan

Gabby Giffords needs a Shuttle launch postponement like she needs a hole in the head

Three people injured at car wash in PG County. Thank goodness this didn't happen in NC-17 County

Sports:

Ron Artest wins NBA citizenship award for promoting community service, mental health awareness, not dating a Kardashian

2014 Special Olympics to be held in New Jersey. Somehow, we're not surprised

Cubs to offer discounted beer and hot dogs in hopes that fans will be too drunk to notice they're watching the Cubs

Geek:

"We've created 18 atoms of anti-helium" say giggling scientists with super deep voices

1,716 Sony PlayStation 3s have been combined to create the only supercomputer that can't get online

Full 3-D invisibility cloak in visible light will soon be revealed, according to empty podium with microphone

Showbiz:

A&E and Steven Seagal finally end squint-off

AMC theaters to screen all three extended editions of "Lord of the Rings" movies in June. Or you could save some time and just walk to Mordor yourself

Kristen Stewart says the birth scene from the upcoming Twilight film was less disturbing than portrayed in the book, which is kind of surprising considering the heart of the story is a young girl's decision between bestiality and necrophilia

Politics:

Supremes: "You can't hurry law, no, you'll just have to wait"

Former Maryland Governor to lie in state today. Current Maryland Governor to lie in state every day

Lesbian cadet licked by West Point as her efforts to gain readmission are boxed out, snatching away her dreams and sweeping her ambitions under the carpet

Music:

Woman succumbs to the sweet release of death at a Lady Gaga concert, but an unsympathetic EMT brings her back to life

Britney Spears bans cookie dough ice cream from world tour. Says that something white with a little bit of black and just sitting there reminds her too much of K-Fed

Aretha Franklin to write C-O-O-K-B-O-O-K

Business:

That's a good e-commerce business model... FOR ME TO GROUPON

Writer for SyFy movies starts own ice cream business. Flavors to include "Meh", "That was all right", and "Could've been better with a larger budget"

Weak second half forecast sends Brunswick's stock into the gutter. There's even talk of a 7-10 stock split. This could be it for them. Well, AMF

· · ·

(view entire blog)

38 Comments (+0 »)

TeddyRooseveltsMustache

2011-05-03 04:01:15 PM

ArtosRC

2011-05-03 04:01:33 PM

It's been an interesting week thus far, that's for sure.

RocketRod

2011-05-03 04:03:17 PM

"Buries at sea", my ass! Didn't anyone here see the opening sequence of "You Only Live Twice"?

rickythepenguin

2011-05-03 04:04:57 PM

The best part: we got Bin Laden's hard drive. Hilarity is sure to ensue

NSA should load that sucker up with the most bizarre, farked up, demented, unwatchable stuff on earth and then release the contents to Al-Jazeera.

You know, our friend "the greatest of all time" (aka, the G.O.A.T., wink wink), 2 girls one ~~jihad~~ cup, underage donkey gape porn, the Simpsons current season, the Pickle incident, etc. "this is how your boy spent his time, dumbasses".

and shout out to my own "shoot my wife...please" joke, attributed to Henny bin Laden.

Treygreen13

2011-05-03 04:06:07 PM

You know who else was thought to be dead and buried at sea?

Karma Chameleon

2011-05-03 04:06:35 PM

I did it myself in the bar last night. Alcohol was a factor.

Drew drinks? Did anyone else know this?

muck4doo

2011-05-03 04:07:41 PM

I look at it as the Osama news putting an end to all that wedding coverage that went on way too long.

RexTalionis

2011-05-03 04:07:58 PM

The conspiracy theories coming out of the raid and killing of Osama Bin Laden has become progressively weirder and weirder. I posted this bit of weird conspiracy theorist talking point from a guy I knew in another thread:

I just got sent the newest talking point from conservatives about Osama Bin Ladin by a guy I went to law school with.

Apparently, the new talking point is that the White House resisted approving the mission to kill Osama Bin Laden because the White House was weak and cowardly and waffled on authorizing the strike. According to this talking point, senior intelligence officials and the military over-rode the White House - essentially setting up a coup d'etat.

Seriously, this was what I was sent. They're so desperate to marginalize the role of the Administration that they'd rather believe that there was a military coup that briefly deposed the President rather than believe that the President gave the go-ahead.

GroverCleveland

2011-05-03 04:09:38 PM

dude, thanks for the commentary and the website

Al_Ed

2011-05-03 04:09:54 PM

I'd be interested to know if any of the others killed at Hotel Abbottabad were members of the Pakistani ISI who were providing security. Weren't aware, my ass...

rickythepenguin

2011-05-03 04:10:37 PM

RocketRod: "Buries at sea", my ass! Didn't anyone here see the opening sequence of "You Only Live Twice"?

also, what sea? red sea? meditrarenean? indian ocean?

i read something of a "osama was buried at sea with traditional muslim prayers" sotry; wonder if he got the full -- using this word carefully -- "honors" or they just dumped his ass off the fantail.

i mean, in the mid 70s when the gummmint and Howard Hughes recovered that soveit sub in the pacific, the US military folks still gave the russian sailors -- at the height of the Cold War, mind you -- a full military burial. there's even footage.

so did osama get that too, or did they just flip his ass? and what are we talking? did they scrunch him into a cannonball position, maybe a full gainer, a pike into a reverse swan dive...

or hopefully they went Full Greg Louganis, and "accidnetally" banked his damn head off the diving board.

MBooda

2011-05-03 04:11:59 PM

The really tragic thing is that, had he held out for another year and a half, OBL would have broken the record.

"The official result of the World Hide-and-Seek, Mr Don Roberts from Hinckley, Leicestershire, 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27 seconds. Mr Francisco Huron, Paraguay, 11 years, a months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes, 27 seconds. The result - a tie."

make me some tea

2011-05-03 04:15:42 PM

rickythepenguin: also, what sea? red sea? meditrarenean? indian ocean?

Maybe it was the Jihadi Sea.

rickythepenguin

2011-05-03 04:15:57 PM

RocketRod: "Buries at sea", my ass! Didn't anyone here see the opening sequence of "You Only Live Twice"?

"US Navy buries bin Laden at sea, begins longest 'Marco Polo' game ever."

/FISH OUT OF WATER! FISH OUT OF WATER! FISH OUT OF WATER!

Honest Bender

2011-05-03 04:18:28 PM

Where we are at in?

Nobody_01

2011-05-03 04:20:35 PM

I am more than happy to have the royal wedding news overshadowed by the osama dead news! now if only SEAL team 6 would take out kate and william too so we can put an end to it for good!

Mad_Radhu

2011-05-03 04:22:02 PM

rickythepenguin: i mean, in the mid 70s when the gummmint and Howard Hughes recovered that soveit sub in the pacific, the US military folks still gave the russian sailors -- at the height of the Cold War, mind you -- a full military burial. there's even footage.

In the Cold War example, though, there was still a sense of brotherhood between the members of the US Navy and the USSR Navy, a sense that even though their countries disagreed about the politics, those Soviet sailors were still men who died performing a dangerous job in the service of their country. Since those men died with honor despite the fact that they were technically the enemy, they deserved to be given an honorable burial.

Osama, on the other hand, was an international criminal who lived a dishonorable life, and killed thousands of innocents as part of his bloody crusade. He deserved no honor, so he likely was given none.

Eirik

2011-05-03 04:26:52 PM

I think the situation is a little different. Those men, while perhaps on paper the enemy, were sailors and had died in a horrible accident. They did not die in combat, had not fired on anyone, and died honorably at sea.

They deserved a full burial with all honors.

Osama was scum, trash, lower than whale crap. He didn't deserve any honors, religious or otherwise. He deserved to have his head on a pike on the White House lawn... though that perhaps is a touch barbaric. Maybe just in a glass box at the Smithsonian.

Russkie

2011-05-03 04:30:53 PM

One story that doesn't need to fall out of the news cycle is what has happened in Alabama. Please help if you can. It's really bad.

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

Nobody_01

2011-05-03 04:33:18 PM

Russkie: One story that doesn't need to fall out of the news cycle is what has happened in Alabama. Please help if you can. It's really bad.

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

I bought my world of warcraft tsunami relief pet already... thats all the natural disaster I can do...

ndeans

2011-05-03 04:40:35 PM

rickythepenguin: RocketRod: "Buries at sea", my ass! Didn't anyone here see the opening sequence of "You Only Live Twice"?

also, what sea? red sea? meditrarenean? indian ocean?

The official word on that is that he was dumped off of the USS Carl Vinson in the Arabian Sea.

It is a shame, now I have to charter a boat to be able to piss on his grave.

Treygreen13

2011-05-03 04:41:49 PM

ndeans: rickythepenguin: RocketRod: "Buries at sea", my ass! Didn't anyone here see the opening sequence of "You Only Live Twice"?

also, what sea? red sea? meditrarenean? indian ocean?

The official word on that is that he was dumped off of the USS Carl Vinson in the Arabian Sea.

It is a shame, now I have to charter a boat to be able to piss on his grave.

You could just pee into the ocean.

/that's what all the fish do

Dinki

2011-05-03 04:46:37 PM

- Were the Pakistanis complacent or incompetent?

Everyone is asking this question, but nobody seems to be asking the really important question- Why would Osama choose to live there, in a garrison town a short distance from a military academy?

The only obvious answer is that he knew he would be safe- that at the very least, the local authorities would protect him.

rickythepenguin

2011-05-03 04:51:27 PM

Eirik: They deserved a full burial with all honors.

i wonder if perhaps teh "out" is the same reasoning about why Geneva treaty didn't apply to terrorists: "their acts of terror aren't committed by a state, there's no organized state action, thus we don't need to comply with geneva convention on rights of armed combatants" (im butchering the argument, but i think the gist comes across).

but then even as to the Soviets, the Cold War was "cold" because in part, war hadn't been declared. so why did we give full military burial in that case, but possibly/ostensibly not for OBL? perhasp we did. who knows. but either way, does that mean osama was entitled to a measure of respect under ius belli dunno. don't particularly care.

ndeans: The official word on that is that he was dumped off of the USS Carl Vinson in the Arabian Sea.

huh. no shiat. didn't know that.

ndeans

2011-05-03 04:56:01 PM

Treygreen13: ndeans: rickythepenguin: RocketRod: "Buries at sea", my ass! Didn't anyone here see the opening sequence of "You Only Live Twice"?

also, what sea? red sea? meditrarenean? indian ocean?

The official word on that is that he was dumped off of the USS Carl Vinson in the Arabian Sea.

It is a shame, now I have to charter a boat to be able to piss on his grave.

You could just pee into the ocean.

/that's what all the fish do

I would be peeing in the ocean, but the difference is I'd be doing it from the port side of a boat in the middle of the ocean, not just peeing off of the shore. That would be like peeing into a cemetery through the fence and saying "close enough".

Space_Poet

2011-05-03 04:58:49 PM

Drew: - News folks seem to mix up the words "Obama" and "Osama" a lot. Yesterday morning I heard the NPR lady do it, which would have been confusing as hell to anyone who tuned in just when she said "Obama was killed". I'm sure they would have eventually figured it out. I did it myself in the bar last night. Alcohol was a factor.

I've already done it like 5 times today, their names are just way too phonetically connected. I have no sympathy though if it's done in type or print, that's just unacceptable but saying the names and differentiating them in my head is not working well.

Space_Poet

2011-05-03 05:05:32 PM

Dinki: The only obvious answer is that he knew he would be safe- that at the very least, the local authorities would protect him.

Trust me, we know this and we know they know we know this and we know that they knew we knew. Got it?

cameroncrazy1984

2011-05-03 05:22:14 PM

Thanks Drew for the most obvious piece written on bin Ladin's death so far.

ZAZ

2011-05-03 05:27:50 PM

I switched Obama and Osama yesterday... after thinking about how easy the mistake was and warning myself not to make it. The NPR guy made a variant on the mistake this morning. The President should wear an Osama mask to the next humorous event to play on the slips.

Eirik

2011-05-03 05:36:33 PM

I was rather hoping that it would be the Bay of Pigs, but I guess Cuba is too long a flight from Pakistan.

uprislng

2011-05-03 05:42:08 PM

ZAZ: I switched Obama and Osama yesterday... after thinking about how easy the mistake was and warning myself not to make it. The NPR guy made a variant on the mistake this morning. The President should wear an Osama mask to the next humorous event to play on the slips.

That is why I try to just say Obama when I'm talking about the POTUS and bin Laden when I'm talking about the terrorist. Just use the last names (I am assuming that is what bin Laden amounts to).

MBooda

2011-05-03 05:49:45 PM

Treygreen13: You know who else was thought to be dead and buried at sea?

It's an old Sicilian message.

/anyone note, Abe Vigoda's still alive?

PabloHosehead

2011-05-03 05:51:43 PM

Russkie: One story that doesn't need to fall out of the news cycle is what has happened in Alabama. Please help if you can. It's really bad.

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

This.

I parked my car at the corner of 15th Street and Hackberry yesterday to take a little walk and get some pictures. It was humbling, heartbreaking, and intense. I've lived through direct hits from two hurricanes (Fran, category 3, and Isabel, category 5) and the Blizzard of '77, and this is by far the most incredible damage I've ever seen.

Imagine a nuclear strike, and take away the heat effects. That complete.

Even the satellite pics don't do it justice...your eye gets drawn to the wood-colored line on the map, and it looks so narrow. What is missed is the fact that the destruction actually extends in a path 5-10 times wider than what is easily seen.

Tuscaloosa is going to be mourning for quite some time.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener

2011-05-03 06:16:17 PM

In a week full of great headlines...

Supremes: "You can't hurry law, no, you'll just have to wait"

... this one was pretty damn solid.

JBangworthy

2011-05-03 06:57:20 PM

Nobody_01: I am more than happy to have the royal wedding news overshadowed by the osama dead news! now if only SEAL team 6 would take out kate and william too so we can put an end to it for good!

Holy shiat! Could you imagine? They storm in on live television, end those farkers in front of everyone then, step in front of the camera and say, "oh a few of you didn't appreciate that, but most of you did. Well for you ungrateful bastards, here's another corpse," and toss OBL out of their Blackhawk.

Ending a terrorist and elitist imperialists in one day would make a holiday I'd actually celebrate.

/Not a Jeh Wit

muck4doo

2011-05-03 08:43:09 PM

BTW, your blog sucks.

Flying Code Monkey

2011-05-04 01:18:32 PM

Fark is still trying to portray itself as somewhat above the use of fluff and sensationalism?

Really?

SJKebab

2011-05-05 06:51:27 PM

Oooh my first ever nomination. JOY!

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