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(Some Guy)   Don't mess with England, look at what they do for fun.   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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10038 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2001 at 5:45 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

56 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-10-22 05:51:57 PM  
That background was too whack for me to read all of that article. Also i'm too fat and lazy.
2001-10-22 05:52:20 PM  
"Reg Mellor, a man who has been more intimate with ferrets than many men have been with their wives..."

Can anybody say "Dream Date"?
2001-10-22 05:53:16 PM  
The article says a kid was killed and eaten by a ferret. I have doubts about that.
2001-10-22 05:53:59 PM  
do they have ferret-leg hooligans ?
2001-10-22 05:54:23 PM  
Can anyone say "Richard Gere"? [/obvious]
2001-10-22 05:55:01 PM  
I don't think it was in one meal, Walkman. Probably we're talking one big meal then weeks of leftovers and cold sandwiches...
2001-10-22 05:59:24 PM  
This article is full of sensationalist bullshiat and misinformation. The black-footed ferret is indeed of the Mustelid family, but is as closely related to the domestic ferret as a polecat or a badger.

While ferrets do have the ability to be viscious, and are used for hunting, the domestic variety, if not abused, are quite loving and LOYAL. I have three, and have never been bittem by them, because they do not see me as a threat, they see me as a friend.

Just like many breeds of dogs, if brought up right, and trained well, they make good pets, if abused, they will defend themselves and have a generally nasty attitude.

Sorry for the rant, but this article made me angry.
2001-10-22 05:59:57 PM  
Man I'm glad we have TV out here...
2001-10-22 06:00:06 PM  
"Are you sayin' I ain't pokin' 'em no more?" Reg growled with menace. "Is that your meaning? Cause I am pokin' 'em for sure."

This guy is my hero.
2001-10-22 06:01:38 PM  
But what happens with England mixes it up with Texas?
2001-10-22 06:03:11 PM  
That is the stupidboobies I've ever seen on here. Most of it bullshiat too.
2001-10-22 06:03:41 PM  
yeah, wtf. these ferrets must have been treated like crap to be "viscious." i've had 5 of them as pets and the only time i've ever been bitten was when one of them mistook my finger for a kitty treat. and even that barely hurt

blech. i hate stupid people.
2001-10-22 06:04:40 PM  
aye! get thar whippet down thar trousers lad!

funny how it quotes barnsley as 'several hours north of london'!!

haha barnsley's nowhere farking near london! Is London the only place you yanks know in england?? It's like saying Chicago 'several hours north of Houston!

"John O'Groats, several hours north of London..."
2001-10-22 06:04:56 PM  
Batman: But what happens [when] England mixes it up with Texas?

England loses.
2001-10-22 06:13:51 PM  
Toss in a headless goat....that would be a party.
2001-10-22 06:17:29 PM  
Mr. Graham Wellstead, the head of the British Ferret and Ferreting Society, says that little is known of the diseases carried by the ferret because veterinarians are afraid to touch them.

That is completely absurd.
2001-10-22 06:20:38 PM  

2001-10-22 06:20:39 PM  
Chief Wiggum: It also says here that it's illegal to put squirels down your pants for the purpose of gambling... well I'll be damned, break it up boys.

Just a random Q
2001-10-22 06:22:22 PM  
But Reg Mellor refuses to acknowledge that his talent is made of the stuff of heroes, of a mixture of indomitable pride, courage, concentration, and artless grace. "Naw noon o' that," said the king. "You just got be able ta have your tool bitten and not care."

Um...yeah. :)
2001-10-22 06:23:46 PM  
how did any of you make it through a page with such a terrible background?
2001-10-22 06:23:54 PM  
A discussion of whether ferrets are vicious or whether we know anything about their diseases is a little off topic. The point is that there is a 70-year old man in England who puts animals in his pants and keeps them there for almost six hours -- sans protection.

Keep your eye on the ball folks (no pun intended).
2001-10-22 06:25:10 PM  
"I suddenly feared that I would never know from what the raging ferrets dangle."


A horsepucky article, but well written.
2001-10-22 06:25:13 PM  
I have to agree w/ Caydi & Unorthodox... That article is full of it. I had a ferret & it was as sweet a pet as you could hope for. Definitely superior to a cat.
2001-10-22 06:34:22 PM  
Tip of the day: If you don't like the background, just highlight all the text with your mouse.
2001-10-22 06:37:35 PM  
That story was entirely WRONG about any and all info concerning the domestic Ferret, Mustela FURO.

(Not Putorius, as the author who-didn't-do-their-research claims...)

Mustela putorius is the European Polecat, the larger, stronger, more vicious, often wild version of the domesticated Ferret. The European Polecat is often used for hunting.

So, this author was talking about essentially an entirely different animal than the Domestic Ferret, which is about as far removed from the European Polecat as Dogs are from Wolves.

Indeed, in reality, if a pet Mustela furo gets loose outside, its life expectancy is usually a mere couple of days. They have little or no sense of self preservation, few clues how to hunt, often have clipped claws, are neutered, and many times won't even attempt to eat any other foods than the ones they are used to. I had a ferret once that would starve if not fed Friskies Ocean Fish flavor cat food. (Don't flame me, I know it's not the best stuff for them... Hey, I wasn't her first owner and when I got her that's all she would ever eat.)

Despite the fact that they can still deliver a sharp bite, I have never been able to find proof over the urban legend of the baby and the ferret that ended in such 'disaster'. I've heard versions of it where the baby got its penis eaten, its nose eaten, its ears eaten, etc. Now, I have to admit, this is the first time where I have heard of the WHOLE baby getting eaten by a domestic ferret, an impressive feat for an animal which rarely gets over four pounds. That ferret must have been a mutant. In reality, many pet ferrets will NOT bite to harm, even when sick or provoked.

I in truth, find nothing particularly manly about having a domestic ferret down your pants. Big whoop. (I can't believe I just typed that...) Indeed, I have had up to four ferrets as pets at one time, and although I never got the 'bright' idea to stuff them all into my britches, I have no doubt that if I had, the worst I would have had to deal with was a scratch or two and a lot of tickling.

Now, while it might TAKE balls to stick a European Polecat down your pants, you probably won't HAVE balls once the contest is over. Those guys are often used for hunting, (rabbits... etc) are commonly handled with gloves, and can take off a finger with their powerful jaws.

So, since the author apparently didn't do enough research to even know for sure what ANIMAL he was talking about, the idea than there are a bunch of guys running around with polecats in their pants is ludicrous.

Heck, I'm having problems accepting the fact that someone paid the author to write this drivel.
2001-10-22 06:39:28 PM  
hey, i've heard that joke before...
2001-10-22 06:39:59 PM  
HAHA! Your petty ferrets mean nothing to me, for my girlfriend is asking me what I would think of her in this:
2001-10-22 06:41:24 PM  
ack, farked my HTML. nevermind.
2001-10-22 06:41:59 PM  
Having been born in Bolton (England) and lived in London up until 2 years ago (I now reside in Los Angeles), I remember my Grandfather telling me stories about "Ferret Legging". I didn't believe him until I witnessed myself outside of Liverpool. Christ, you'd have to get me right pissed to even CONSIDER doing that.
2001-10-22 06:42:22 PM  
For god sake people - of course it was full of misinformation - it was meant to be a amusing! Stop taking it seriously and allow yourself to see the humour... of course a ferret didn't eat a child... never heard of hyperbole? Geez...
2001-10-22 06:45:02 PM  
2001-10-22 06:45:26 PM  
Hey Derbs, can you give me directions to Paola? I'm a little lost. You don't know every two-bit podunk town in the USA? Shame on you for not knowing geography! Don't they teach you anything in the UK!?

Is Barnsley anywhere near Macclesfield?
2001-10-22 06:49:27 PM  
Too farking stupid for mere words.
2001-10-22 06:52:43 PM  
Don't ferrets live in cages mostly?Hmm,I wonder if my landlady would allow me to have a ferret....
2001-10-22 06:57:08 PM  
WageSlave: More proof that there is a Simpson's quote for every situation.
2001-10-22 07:00:13 PM  
Osama my friend! Stop farking that goat and come over here! Have I got a contest for you!!!! Oh yeah, and lose your underwear, you ain't gonna need any!
2001-10-22 07:01:09 PM  
Screw ferrets. Get a hedgehog!
2001-10-22 07:23:27 PM  
Where's PETA?
2001-10-22 07:38:11 PM  
2001-10-22 07:40:17 PM  
Thanks for the tip Col.Panic. Really i was making up an excuse for me to not waste my time reading that article. The part about being fat and lazy still stands though.
2001-10-22 07:48:17 PM  
That's nothing compared to the scandinavian Jerv (wolverine)!
It's known to kill men with a mere glance, and dismantle car engines with their claws. For fun!
2001-10-22 07:54:58 PM  
Tip of the day: If you don't like the background, just highlight all the text with your mouse

Control+A is faster for the Windowz brethren :)
2001-10-22 08:30:34 PM  
i figure either these british guys have sex with english type ladies, or put ferrets down their pants and have their wangs chewed off. Seeing some pictures of english type women, i can see why they choose the wang removal.
2001-10-22 08:36:23 PM  
Wimps, were I come from we do it with bobcats and weasels.
2001-10-22 08:37:37 PM  
Is that a ferret down your pants or are you just happy to see me?
2001-10-22 08:42:05 PM  

2001-10-22 08:49:56 PM  
oops. my bad. i'm usually good about checkin on stuff to see if its supposed to be "real" or just satire/humor/whatever..

i apologize for being so biatchy earlier. *hangs her head*
2001-10-22 09:29:21 PM  
Poor attempt at Parody or not, that 'article' contained enough erroneous info to deserve a loud feh, meh, and ack. There are people who actually use crap like this as justification for making ferrets illegal, etc.

Plus, it really wasn't funny. If it WAS, then that would be a different matter altogether.
2001-10-22 09:33:50 PM  
isn't this the guy from comedy central's old cartoon dr. katz? he's a standup comedian right? i love this guy, he is hilarious. you people just don't know funny stuff when you see it
2001-10-22 09:40:06 PM  
it may be parody, but ferrets really are "fur-coated evil." A friend of mine had one that tried to bite off the toes of anyone and everyone who happened to be wearing white socks. They also smell funky. The ferrets...not the socks. Well, maybe the socks too.
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