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(SNPP)   What is the funniest moment/quote from The Simpsons? Voting enabled   ( snpp.com) divider line
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13523 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jul 2003 at 2:05 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2003-07-19 04:48:23 PM  
Religious men talking, one looking in the bible:

"Hey, on page 42 it says jebus."

"...that's a mistake, right?"

Oh wait, the simpsons STOLE THAT FROM FAMILY GUY
2003-07-19 04:48:23 PM  
homer: "mmmmmmmmmmmm, floor pie!"
2003-07-19 04:48:40 PM  
When Lisa was demonstrating her Bully repellant at the "Big Science Thing"...

Voice from the audience: "She's a Witch!"

Lisa: "No, Dr. Coop"
2003-07-19 04:49:34 PM  
"aaaah, the sweet coupla seconds before I wake-up and remember why I'm sleeping on the lawn..." - Homer Simpson
2003-07-19 04:50:00 PM  
The congregation singing "In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida"

Lovejoy: Today's hymn is "In the Garden of Eden" by I. Ron Butterfly.


Lovejoy: Wait a minute, this sounds like Rock and/or Roll!

Bart sells his soul to Milhouse...

Bart: Thanks, Chummmmmmmm p
2003-07-19 04:50:07 PM  
"You know, I never heard the word enbiigins until I moved to Springfield."

"I don't know why, it's a perfectly cromulent word"
2003-07-19 04:50:51 PM  
Marge: Homer, are you licking frogs?
Homer: I'm not not licking frogs...

note - from the same episode that also produced the classic - "save me jeebus"
2003-07-19 04:52:47 PM  
Martin: What'd he say?
Bart: I don't know...
Martin: I thought you could read lips?
Bart: I assumed I could...

Don't know why I found that funny...
2003-07-19 04:52:58 PM  
Homer's spirit guide, while biting his leg "Well, I am a coyote."

Anything from the Hank Scorpio episode (best. episode. ever.), but esp:
"I start fires, eh"
"Take out your crayons and circles of paper"
"Homer, if you could kill someone on your way out, it would help alot"
"Homer, what's your least favorite country, Italy or France...Ha, no one ever says Italy"

The Buckingham Oil Change kid "Lube job while you wait gov'na?"
Homer: "Don't touch me"
2003-07-19 04:53:32 PM  
Homer: "It takes two people to lie marge, one to tell the lie and another to listen."

Homer tries to get marge to become a seregate mother but marge refuses. Homer: "Its uter-us marge not uter-i."
2003-07-19 04:56:16 PM  
*barbecued pig on one of those spit things on wheels rolls through the bushes*
Homer: It's just a little dirty, it's still good!
*pig falls in the river*
Homer: It's just a little slimy, it's still good!
*pig flows down the river, gets caught in the dam; water builds up behind it until it shoots the pig out, sailing through the air*
Homer: It's just a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!
Bart: It's gone.
Homer: I know.
2003-07-19 04:56:51 PM  
Barney to Moe: "Of course i'll be back, if you didnt close i'd never leave."

Marge: "Oh everybody has shot apu. Its just a 100 dollar fine now."
2003-07-19 04:58:59 PM  
Oats420: You are immensely stupid. Not only is the bus driver's name "Otto", not "Auto"; if you even understood your favorite Simpsons quote or learned how to spell, you'd realize that "Auto" is definitely not "Auto" backwards.

Here is a person who is not intelligent enough to understand the most basic humor from The Simpsons.

Vote to add one more intelligent person to the world.
2003-07-19 04:59:40 PM  
Homer to Bart: "Son, when you partipate in athletic events its not if you win or lose, its how drunk you get".
2003-07-19 04:59:42 PM  
I would've killed for tappa-tappa-tappa.
2003-07-19 05:00:45 PM  
I said, "ha ha"

(Nelson, after seeing bart fall off the trampoline)
2003-07-19 05:02:21 PM  
Mmmmmmmm... soilent green
2003-07-19 05:03:52 PM  
Hey, anyone remember that episode where Homer went to rock 'n' roll fantasy camp? The songwriting class was being taught by Tom Petty, and he had an acoustic guitar. So he starts to talk about meaningful lyrics and things, but all the guys wanna hear are songs about sex, drugs, and...well, rock 'n' roll. So Tom's like, "You just want meaningless, {some adjective} rock?" When his pupils insist, he sighs and FLIPS HIS GUITAR OVER so it turns into an electric guitar. That looked really really cool. Then he proceeds to sing a song that goes something like:
Tom Petty: You see that sexy girl comin' down the street
Guys: YEAH!!
Tom: She's concerned about the state of public schools
Guys: BOO!!
Tom: She likes to party {something something something}
Guys: WOO! YEAH!
Tom: {something about school funding or other}
Guys: BOOO!!
2003-07-19 05:04:24 PM  
"I've captured a wee girl! I'm the greatest hero in English history!"
(Groundskeeper Willy in the Joan of Arc Vignette)

"AH! A hungry hungry hippo!"

"Awww...why did I have a slap a guy that says 'sah'?"

"Dad's you're sinking"
"Get a rope Bart!"
"Naw, that's ok, I'm pretty sure I can struggle my way out. First, I'll reach in and pull my legs out...now, I'll pull my arms out, with my face!"

"What are we gonna do?"
"Clean the field!"
"Why are gonna do it?"
"Liberal Guilt!"

"Duffman can't die! Only the actors that play him!"
2003-07-19 05:05:08 PM  
Marge: Look at all the beautiful foilage.

Lisa: Mom, it's pronounced "foliage."

Marge: That's what I said, "foilage." It doesn't take a nucular scientist to foilage.
2003-07-19 05:05:43 PM  
Marge: Look at all the beautiful foilage.

Lisa: Mom, it's pronounced "foliage."

Marge: That's what I said, "foilage." It doesn't take a nucular scientist to foilage.

This time with voting! Mods, please delete previous entry.
2003-07-19 05:05:59 PM  
Homer : (gasp) A counterfeit jeans ring operating out of my car hole!
2003-07-19 05:06:57 PM  
There should be a pronounce in the second Marge quote.

This whole typing and clicking thing isn't working at all for me today.
2003-07-19 05:09:58 PM  
Kang (or is it Kodos, I can never tell the difference): Commence fertilization procedure! (Shoots Marge with a laser beam)
Marge: Really, that was quick!
K: What do you mean by that?
M: Oh nothing, nothing..
2003-07-19 05:10:06 PM  
"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day."
2003-07-19 05:11:46 PM  
Homer: [sarcastic] Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from Happyland, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane!
[walks out, slams door]
[sticks head back in] Oh, by the way: I was being sarcastic
[slams door]
2003-07-19 05:12:10 PM  
This one totally cracked me up when I first saw it. Episode 9F07, "Mr. Plow." From snpp.com:

To cross a dangerous chasm, Homer braves a dilapidated rope bridge. Not until he's halfway across does he notice the sturdy modern bridge that runs next to it.

2003-07-19 05:12:11 PM  
[Homer acting as Mr. Smithers' temporary replacement awaits orders from Mr. Burns]

Burns: I'll have my lunch now: a single pillow of shreded wheat, some steamed toast and a Dodo egg.

Simpson: But, I think the Dodo went extinct.

Burns: Get going! And, answer the phones, install a computer system and rotate my office so the window faces the hills!
2003-07-19 05:14:10 PM  
Mr. Burns: "The heart is the strongest organ in the body."

Homer: "What about the wiener? I saw a guy on TV lift a can of paint with his."
2003-07-19 05:16:07 PM  
[A court finding parental neglect orders Bart, Lisa and Maggie to be placed in a foster home -- which happens to be the Flanders. Wanting to hear their voices, Marge and Homer defy a court order and attempt to telephone their children. After dialing, telephone warning tones sound and a recorded message plays]

Message: We're sorry. This number can no longer be reached from this phone, you...negligent...monster.
2003-07-19 05:16:59 PM  
"In America first you have the sugar, then you have the power, then come the women." Homer

"He's no bowl of Special K!" Lenny
2003-07-19 05:18:08 PM  
Marge: You lost five percent of your brain!
Homer: Me lose brain? Uh-oh!
Family laughs
Homer: Why I laugh?
2003-07-19 05:18:13 PM  
Burns: "Release the hounds".
2003-07-19 05:18:51 PM  
[The citizens of Springfield descend upon the mayor to demand government action]

Quimby: Who are you to demand anything from me? You're nothing but a bunch of low income nobodies. I run this town!

Mayoral advisor (sotto voce): Um, election in November, election in November.

Quimby: What!?! Again?!? This stupid country.
2003-07-19 05:19:16 PM  
The tennis court episode...

As Homer attempts to catch a high lob ball in his shorts, he yells, "It's in the Bag!"; just before he doubles over in pain from being hit in the family jewels...

Farkin' hilarious!
2003-07-19 05:19:58 PM  
Episode AABF01, "Treehouse of Horror IX":

Bart: Oh, my God. Everyone Snake swore revenge on is being murdered!
Marge: It's almost as if he's killing from beyond the grave.
Lisa: I told you capital punishment isn't a deterrent.
2003-07-19 05:21:48 PM  
The Old Springfield vs. New Springfield episode...

Homer dams up the river to Old Springfield, but Old Springfield discovers gold and riches in the riverbed.

Kent Brockman goes on the air, looking like Mr. T and says; "We're all taking Golden Showers here in Old Springfield.".

How'd that one get by the sensors?
2003-07-19 05:22:27 PM  
Apu: By the many arms of Vishnu, I am not a Hindu!

Burns: Smithers, Who's that goat legged fellow talking to Simpson? I rather like the cut of his jib!
2003-07-19 05:22:32 PM  
from the episode where Marge is a bodybuilder
*Marge runs after bus, grabs it and brings it to a stop*
Otto: Woh, what am I smoking? Oh yeah, pot.
*holds up joint*

the newer eipsodes are not that great but that was classic.

Homer: what do you have to drink?
vender: Mountain Dew or Crab juice
Homer: EEEEWWWWWWW, YUCK, UGGH, I'll take a crab juice.

2003-07-19 05:23:19 PM  
[Bart lands with a thud]
Nelson: So technically it's true. That's what makes it so funny. Pardon me a moment --[at Bart] Ha ha!

Milhouse: Hey Nelson, he's really hurt. I think he broke his leg.

Nelson: ] I said, "Ha ha"!
2003-07-19 05:23:26 PM  
[In financial need, Homer asks Marge to consider surrogate motherhood.]

Homer: Come on, Marge. It's uter-US not uter-YOU.
2003-07-19 05:23:53 PM  
2003-07-19 05:24:36 PM  
Rev. Lovejoy: "Homer, have you ever thought of looking into one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same"
2003-07-19 05:26:29 PM  
When Homer is test driving the weird foreign car, but can't figure out how to drive it.
Bart- "Dad, put it in Q"

From the 21 short films about Springfield one, the whole Spanish TV sequence is hilarious.

And, of course, Itchy and Scratchy Land-
Mrs. Simpson, please come to security, we have your boy in custody. We also have your older, fatter, balder son.

and Homer's explanation-
Homer - Marge, I'm a political prisoner.
Marge- How are you a political prisoner?
Homer- I kicked a giant mouse in the butt, do I have to draw you a diagram?

"If I ever went to a picnic, and there was no meat, I'd be like, Yo Goober, where's the beef?"
2003-07-19 05:26:59 PM  
The Nuclear power plant fire alarm goes off.

Lenny (having never heard the fire alarm) thinks it's the phone and answers it.
MBK [TotalFark]
2003-07-19 05:27:42 PM  
my favorite classic scenes:

Homer is making the bbq pit, and Marge is inside asking Bart if Homer's done. Bart says not yet, then you see Homer, screaming, charges the BBQ Pit with a beach umbrella, japs it in there, flies backwards and the umbrella opens.

The Angry Dad Episode. When Homer is trying to sit in the beach chair, and you don't see it, you can just hear Homer yelling "heheh, this will teach you, AHH! I'm on fire!!!"

"Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history
From the, town of springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree...DOH!"

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars, I wanted a peanut
Homer's Mind: Twenty Dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's Mind: Money can be exchanged for foods and services
Homer: Woohoo!
2003-07-19 05:28:19 PM  
Groundskeeper Willie

"ah'll kill that Mr Burns, and ah.. wound that Mr Smithers!"

"There's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman."

Skinner: Uh-oh. Two independent thought alarms in one day. The students are overstimulated. Willie! Remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms.
Willie: I warned ya! Didn't I warn ya?! That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!

From 'You Only Move Twice' (the Scorpio Episode)

Project Arcturus coundn't have succeeded without you. This will get you a little closer to that dream of yours. It's not the Dallas Cowboys, but it's a start. Drop me a line if you're on the East Coast, Hank Scorpio." (a whole football team is on his lawn) (disappointed) Aw, the Denver Broncos!
Marge: I think owning the Denver Broncos is pretty good. (a player tries to catch the ball, but falls)
Homer: Yeah, Yeah.
Marge: Well, explain to me why it isn't. (another player tries to catch, but the ball hits his head)
Homer: (sighs) You just don't understand football, Marge.

And of course:

"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer"."
2003-07-19 05:28:53 PM  
Rainier Wolfcastle's greatest hit:

Mein bratwurst has a first name,
it's F-R-I-T-Z.
Mein bratwurst has a second name,
it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N.
2003-07-19 05:29:06 PM  
Homer: "Nuc-u-lar. It's pronounced nuc-u-lar."
2003-07-19 05:29:21 PM  
Troy McClure: Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
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