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(Toronto Star)   Surgeons create anus for pair of three-day old conjoined twins   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

8456 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Jul 2003 at 7:17 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

65 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-07-16 01:34:50 PM  
THERE's a title for your business cards.

But how do you decide between "Dr. Joe Smith, Anus Reconstructor" and "Dr. Joe Smith, Anus Forge"?

I long for the days when this will be my primary concern.
HPZ [TotalFark]
2003-07-16 04:09:05 PM  
I'd go with "Dr. Joe Smith, Poopersmith."
2003-07-16 05:22:31 PM  
Come visit us at "The Poop-Chutery", and leave your cares behind.
2003-07-16 07:25:17 PM  
"I'm not gonna say it again. It's WENESDAY, which means it's YOUR TURN TO WIPE!"

There is just so much to work with here:

1) the words "create" and "anus" should never be in the same sentence.

2) Fark the Political Correctness - they are SIAMESE twins.
SIAMESE like the cat

3) Doc gets to add "anus creator" to his resume.
2003-07-16 07:26:28 PM  
"Surgical creation of anus allows feeding"

That's funny.
2003-07-16 07:27:56 PM  

Actually, wouldn't it be ", and take your new behind with you."?
2003-07-16 07:28:09 PM  
what a crappy job.

2003-07-16 07:30:00 PM  
Thank God they did that, or else the old axiom would have been proven untrue.

"Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one."
2003-07-16 07:31:03 PM  
Reamed him a new one .. eh!
2003-07-16 07:31:52 PM  
Tore them a new asshole, he did.
/obligatory comment
2003-07-16 07:34:48 PM  
Guess he could make good on a threat to rip someone a new asshole.
2003-07-16 07:34:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-16 07:36:36 PM  

Come visit us at "The Poop-Chutery", and leave your cares behind.

Farking Brilliant!
2003-07-16 07:37:52 PM  
Wow, that's a scientific breakthrough for medicine. Of course, for large corporations, such as the one I work at, they've mastered the skill of creating sphincters everytime there's an available manager position.
2003-07-16 07:40:35 PM  
Enough with the fart jokes! I need this rectum sutured STAT!

soon to start a new website:
2003-07-16 07:40:37 PM  
What an asshole!
2003-07-16 07:46:43 PM  
I heard they then made some Fear Factor contestants eat it.
2003-07-16 07:50:59 PM  
I don't know if I'd like to be conjoined. I think most of the time I'd wish they had not allowed me to be born.
2003-07-16 07:51:04 PM  
"Thanks be to God the operation was a success"

Let's thank God for having the sense of humor to leave the anus off in the first place.

[/only one anus]
2003-07-16 07:53:21 PM  
This thread is showing serious potential...
2003-07-16 07:57:57 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-07-16 07:58:12 PM  
Why not just transplant one of the assholes from Fark?
2003-07-16 08:03:23 PM  
I do believe that's the first time I've heard someone thank God for an anus.
2003-07-16 08:07:22 PM  
What's with all the conjoined twins in the news lately? They seem to be everywhere these days.
2003-07-16 08:07:33 PM  
Scientist: Here we have the pushme-pullyou, with a head at each end of his body. Watch out, he has an anger problem.

Observer: With a head at each end he can't shiat!

Scientist: That's why he's so mad.
2003-07-16 08:07:37 PM  
Do conjoined twins ever get stage fright when one of them has to pee? I guess that depends on whether they have two wangs or just share one.
2003-07-16 08:09:44 PM  
I sincerely hope that they each have their own set of man-junk.
2003-07-16 08:11:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

...rectal rebuilding? I'm in your corner!
2003-07-16 08:14:41 PM  
dude... i don't even wanna.....
2003-07-16 08:18:47 PM  
Ye Chocolate Starfish Shoppe
2003-07-16 08:19:01 PM  
Creating an anus is nothing... we elected one!

Okay okay... we didn't actually "elect" him...
2003-07-16 08:21:34 PM  
Of course, this isn't the first time this surgery had to be done...

[image from too old to be available]

Same doctor?
2003-07-16 08:21:41 PM  
Of course, this isn't the first time this surgery has ever been done...

[image from too old to be available]

Same doctor?
2003-07-16 08:24:40 PM  
Do conjoined twins ever get stage fright when one of them has to pee?

Chang and Eng, the original "Siamese twins", both married (they married a pair of sisters) and both had children. I imagine there's a level of bonding that supesedes "stage fright". Hmm. I wonder if they ever all "did it" at the same time? Did they ever swap spouses? No one will ever know.
2003-07-16 08:28:57 PM  
This story just goes to show the incredible enduring power of the human spirit to...

no, wait a minute...

2003-07-16 08:29:37 PM  
Just goes to show that assholes aren't born they're made.

Thanks folks I'll be here all night!
2003-07-16 08:39:10 PM  
i don't nee another a$$
hole in my life
2003-07-16 08:48:53 PM  
(Potential) Update:
Tragedy ensued when the loving family brought their newborn babies home only to find that the donor had been a 43-year-old male hairdressor from San Fransico. The father commented: "They'll just have to grow into it."
2003-07-16 08:52:44 PM  
Sure, poke fun. Let's see one of you make an anus.

On second thought, let's not.
2003-07-16 09:01:40 PM  
Sheeshiathis kind of thing ain't hard, folks. All the surgeon did was pull this out of the closet:

[image from too old to be available]

Just 1-step!
2003-07-16 09:07:02 PM  
How did "Sheesh!" Become "Sheeshiathis"?

Stupid farking filters.
2003-07-16 09:11:47 PM  
Aren't there already enough assholes in the world?

2003-07-16 09:28:02 PM  
2003-07-16 09:33:12 PM  
The people that wrote that article need to learn that theres no space in percent =P
2003-07-16 09:58:15 PM  
"Doc, I need you to make me an asshole."
"Poof! You're an asshole."

Rectum? Darn near killed 'em!

Feel free to add to this list.
2003-07-16 10:13:37 PM  
Hmmm, I think my exwife needs one of these .. on her forehead!
2003-07-16 10:29:42 PM  
Actually it would be,
Opinions are like assholes, and some people share them.
2003-07-16 10:29:42 PM  
I was gonna post a "rip them a new asshole" joke but I see now that I was caught with my thumb up my ass.
2003-07-16 11:16:44 PM  
Couldn't they do this three years from now when they are potty trained? It would make so much more sence and they can cut there diaper costs in half.

I spelled sence wrong didn't I?
2003-07-16 11:17:33 PM  
Cannot believe no one has said...

"what, no pic?"

/is a BIT curious...
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