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(Boston Globe)   South Florida man files 1.1 Trillion dollar lawsuit against Osama bin Laden   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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5225 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Oct 2001 at 8:49 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

57 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-10-16 08:52:31 AM  
"If they are awarded money, Bruner said they will donate some to the victims of the Sept. 11 attack."

But of course.. some...
2001-10-16 08:57:12 AM  
No ! Wait ! I'm Brian. And so's my wife.
2001-10-16 08:57:28 AM  
I'd settle for ten percent...

Why are some people so fond of suing for the heck of it?
2001-10-16 08:57:55 AM  
HOLY farkING shiat!


Why can't this great country be populated by nice, smart people? I say, we euthanize all morons like this! Every person who brings forth a frivolous lawsuit gets a free KCl milkshake!
2001-10-16 09:01:13 AM  
Then we wouldn't havew entertainent like this.

2001-10-16 09:02:37 AM  
It's expensive entertainment, isn't it?
2001-10-16 09:05:39 AM  
This is sooooooo stupid...

You american are so crazy....
2001-10-16 09:06:35 AM  
dude, dont hate Americans....Were laughing at this guy with you. Hey, he's from Florida so he's probably cuban or spanish or something.
2001-10-16 09:06:45 AM  
You crazy Americans. Hehe. If the terrorists don't get ya, the law-suits will...
2001-10-16 09:12:22 AM  
i think i could find it amusing if they were from NY or the family of a victim(s). as it is, they just seem to be taking advantage of the crisis for the chance of monetary gain. sure, they'll never get it, but they still seem like assholes for trying.
2001-10-16 09:14:37 AM  
'David Pitchford' and 'David Bruner' don't strike me as Spanish or Cuban names
2001-10-16 09:14:58 AM  
if that jackass gets any money, i'm going to farking shoot somebody. (not really.. ha he hah he )
2001-10-16 09:17:37 AM  
I'm also going to sue. Due to the anthrax letter scare I've developed a severe fear of any powdery white substance. Baby powder, sugar, corn starch. My life is in shambles.

But I could reclaim my life with only a 32 gazillion dollar monetary reward. Thanks U.S. court system!
2001-10-16 09:18:23 AM  
It's nice to know that terrorism hasn't stopped America's No.1 industry.
2001-10-16 09:18:26 AM  
I was making a joke, having lived in South Florida David could be any race.
What if they got the money then gave like 100,000 to every American. I'd go for that.
But this is very ridiculus.
I smell Johnny Cochrane somewhere.....
2001-10-16 09:18:36 AM  
Yah because US courts have so much power in other countries. Who does this guy think he is, the MPAA or the RIAA?
2001-10-16 09:20:23 AM  
Ok, who wants to join in a lawsuit against David Pitchford and David Bruner on the context that they are giving everybody in this country a bad name.

The fact that they said they would donate "some" of the winnings to the relief fund is possibly the worst thing I have ever heard. The greed of these to morons is unbelievable, to think that they honestly feel they deserve to get bin Laden's assets, even though I doubt that this has had anything more than emotional effect on them. If anyone, EVER gets ahold of bin Laden's money, it should go straight to the state government of NY and to the District of Columbia to help rebuild so that money doesn't have to be taken away from schools and other state organizations, causing more suffering with the inevitable loss of jobs.
2001-10-16 09:21:15 AM  
Just a friendly reminder:

The whole world hears about American bullshiat lawsuits such as this. Please remember it only takes a small number of assholes to make the rest look bad. Out of over 280+ million people, do you expect them all to be intelligent?

My question is why are the idiots so damn good at getting international press?
2001-10-16 09:24:13 AM  
This guy doesn't stand a chance, I heard Osama has prepared the Chewbacca defense.

[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-16 09:24:52 AM  
jeez - only in america.

they been watching too much ally mcbeal
2001-10-16 09:25:45 AM  
Fort Pierce? Hell give $150 in quarters and tell him it is a trillion.
2001-10-16 09:27:51 AM  
Farking opportunists. If the guy had half an ethic, he'd be donating it all. Instead, he's using it for his own personal gain.

I can't remember the source. But there was a company that surveyed the American public, and a staggering number of people said that they're going to pay for their retirement by winning the lottery, or suing someone's pants off. If anyone can find the source, I'll stick my tongue in their ear. :)

I know not all americans are that bad.... but you don't heard about British attorneys making their living as an ambulance chaser.

I'm Canadian - live right near the US border, and on the American station we get to see the attorneys doing commercials on TV, saying 'we'll get you the money you deserve'. That is SO not helping this crazy stereotype...
2001-10-16 09:33:30 AM  
Plus court costs! Damn, those court costs will kill ya!
2001-10-16 09:43:11 AM  
lol, Thirdrail, you notice that too?

I'm suing for a bajillion gazillion splaphillion dollars in punitive court costs.
2001-10-16 09:44:14 AM  
Jesus farking christ...

God I love this country sometimes, always demonstrating how wonderfully ignorant we are. Let's just sue everyone and get rich off of it...

Hey, if any of you Islamic militants are reading this, please come here and take care of those two idiots.
2001-10-16 09:46:26 AM  
What a pair of farkwits. As if the courts don't have enough bullshiat to wade through. Good going, fellas.

There is no entity in the world with liquid assets of over one trillion - even the richest man has less than a tenth of that in total assets, so how the fark are they to be paid? Surely they also miss the point that Osama isn't going to recognise the authority of the US court system. Hell, if I was slapped with a $1.1x10E12 lawsuit, I wouldn't either.

Finally, something tells me that the 'threat' of 'personal injury' that these guys received from an attack halfway across the country is somewhat less than $50 billion in worth. Hell, it's not even worth shiats and giggles...
2001-10-16 09:51:16 AM  
Shhhhhhhhhh, don't tell Bin Laden about the Chewbacca defense! HUSShhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... Fb..... shhhhh.....
2001-10-16 09:54:51 AM  
We don't get lawyers advertising on tv over here in Birtain. Instead we get "Compensation Specialists" and "National Accident Hotlines" and "Personal Injury Agents". It's all quite sad.
2001-10-16 09:55:03 AM  
Peaches: Have some fun with the fear of powdery white substances. Sooner or later some one is going to start the urban legend that cocaine is being laced anthrax. When it happens, give cokeheads a vial and say there is a strong possibility it contains anthrax. Make bets with your friends beforehand on whether the guy will snort it anyway.
I put my money on yes.
2001-10-16 09:59:06 AM  
I laughed so hard when I read this that I spilt my McDonald's coffee in my lap. Can I sue for that?
2001-10-16 09:59:50 AM  
After a bit of searching.. finally found a photo of the two guys..

[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-16 10:00:28 AM  
"'Basically, he's threatened myself and every American in this country,' Pitchford said. ''It's against the law to threaten anybody in Florida. Based on that, he's intentionally inflicted emotional distress.'"

Well, his logic is irrefutable...


Did anyone else think this was a satire piece at first? I was shocked when it turned out to be legit.
2001-10-16 10:11:56 AM  
Didn't anyone else catch that these guys are also suing because they had to strengthen their bomb shelters? That's a clue as to their mental state right there.

A friend's financial adviser told her that 60% of the general population of the US plans on winning the lottery for retirement.
2001-10-16 10:35:58 AM  
i think i am going to sue him for 1.1 billion for making me clench my teeth and shake my head - leading to a stiff jaw and neck...

i'll donate all of it to making sure rednecks like this don't get into farkistan...
2001-10-16 10:41:24 AM  
What makes you think they are rednecks?
2001-10-16 10:57:05 AM  
More fearsome than the Green Berets...
More powerful than the Marines...
More hideously devastating than a thousand nuclear bombs...


2001-10-16 11:02:59 AM  
Oh no, elevated blood pressure and a stomach ulcer. Let's crush the dude under a few hundred tons of concrete, or kill his entire family for no apparent reason and then listen to what he has to say about hardship. Asshole.
2001-10-16 11:11:15 AM  
i think this is hilarious. what would anyone do with a trillion dollars anyway?
2001-10-16 11:25:20 AM  
i think this is hilarious. what would anyone do with a trillion dollars anyway?

Hookers and coke..hookers and coke...
2001-10-16 11:52:41 AM  
First came the strife, now here come the gonads.
2001-10-16 11:56:31 AM  
I cant stand frivolous law suits.

Why dont all jews sue germany for the actions of the Nazis 60+ years ago.

Ooh I got an Idea lets sue the russians for scaring the shiat out of us during the cold war.

Lets sue kennedy for not completing his term of office.

I wish they'd make poeple who sue like this pay for the court costs.
2001-10-16 11:59:51 AM  
Apparent Nuisance: Coke and anthrax, they will snort it. Anyone remember the pot and (sheesh, what WAS the name of the defoliant used?) back in the 70's? Didn't slow any of us down. Probably also why I can't remember what the stuff was...
2001-10-16 12:03:45 PM  
Walkman, would that be Agent Orange?
2001-10-16 12:03:53 PM  
I can't believe that the US people have stooped so low as to try to settle all scores with a farking lawsuit. We are pussies.
2001-10-16 12:04:30 PM  
2001-10-16 12:08:29 PM  
Fb, you have me rolling today! Glad someone gave you a dose of happy.
2001-10-16 12:09:51 PM  
Max got it. Maybe the stuff really did burn out brain cells (or could it just be the many years of weed?).

Smoky, some places are making the loser pay all costs for both sides if the loser is the one bringing the suit and if it's judged to be frivolous (suing because the leaves off your neighbor's tree fall in your yard), they also get fined.
2001-10-16 12:17:53 PM  
So, in theory, if the trial goes through and the money comes in, it means that all Americans are entitled to the money. In other words, we split it up between us.

Look at the monkey! Look at the silly little monkey!

-he who stacks pork
2001-10-16 01:52:25 PM  
actually, buttbot, he intends to donate all of it to various charities. ALL of it goes to charity but SOME of it goes to the relief fund for new york, which if you ask me is getting way too much attention. my city has farkin' problems too. we have a country record for homeless and areas with a lot of drug problems, and our bridges are falling apart to the point where it is possible to drive your car off them by accident. we aren't even in the U.S., yet, our city sends money to new york. Why? because its a publicity stunt.

I do like Matt4224's idea though.
2001-10-16 02:55:49 PM  
Wait till the U.S. kills Osama and then the guy can't get his money and sues the U.S. Army for killing the person that owes him money. Or something like that.
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