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(Philly.com)   Trooper disputes manner in which carrot exited his butt, does not deny he ate it   ( philly.com) divider line
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14902 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2003 at 3:15 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-07-05 11:32:44 AM  
i am not going to read that article ... EVER
2003-07-05 12:39:21 PM  
Not really an article, more a poorly explained journal or log. Does bring back memories to me though. I once spent 3 days in Shickshinny during summer of '84 on my first interstate roadtrip. We ate for free at McDonalds the entire trip because the USSR boycotted the LA olympics that summer, it meant plenty of funds for beer and drugs, ah memories.
2003-07-05 03:21:53 PM  
Shickshinny, LOL

He's guilty, I say.

"Jeff Johnson. Troop G, Philipsburg. A husband accused him of having an affair with his wife. Johnson admitted the affair."

Hey this is America; why aren't you allowed to do this. If POTUS can; so can we.
2003-07-05 03:23:48 PM  
Boy, that's some great law ENFORCEMENT people there. Makes me almost not want to get into the forces here.
2003-07-05 03:24:17 PM  
Sounds like them cops know how to party. Someone should make a bad, cliche-filled movie about it. Oh, wait.......... too late.
2003-07-05 03:26:46 PM  
Ewww... he stuck it in his butt, and then he ate it? That must have tasted like one poopie flavored carrot. Perhaps it'll be big in Swedan.

Poop Flavored Carrots are all the rage.
2003-07-05 03:28:38 PM  
Allen Hathaway. Troop G, Philipsburg. Had sex with a woman in a patrol car. He said they only had been talking........and since she was deaf, he was trying a new "Helen Keller" approach by over-enunciating to her labia.

(If you're gonna lie, at least be creative)
2003-07-05 03:32:16 PM  
Just goes to show you have asshats, morons, and felons in all walks of life. Unfortunately, wearing a badge gives you an extra obligation not to be as such, but for some it just paves the road. Oh, well.
2003-07-05 03:33:20 PM  
I will have to remember that "as a joke" is a good excuse to eat a carrot which has been soiled with the flora and fauna of the lower GI tract.

Why I will have to remember that, still don't know.
2003-07-05 03:34:01 PM  
Isn't this one of those lists that supposed to be extremely confidential? Perhaps an invasion of privacy?

And why is the name of fark would a newspaper print this?
2003-07-05 03:34:26 PM  
Carrot?? I guess his vibrator had a dead battery.
2003-07-05 03:34:51 PM  
wtf? At the bottom of the page:


Love-song crooner Barry White dies at 58
Courage, hope and faith saved early America; they can still work for us
Our freedoms go fourth - Philly style
O'Connor gets medal on 'amazing day'
2003-07-05 03:36:10 PM  
I believe that after the defendants are found guilty, it ceases being confidental. Two troopers weren't found guilty, and their names were not given (it's mentioned in the article.)

Could be wrong, of course.. but I find it hard to believe that the news media would knowingly break the law just for the sake of a little sensational journalism. (/sarcasm)
2003-07-05 03:36:59 PM  
I've heard of officer-related shootings - but that one cop said that he SHOT the carrott out of his butt. WTF??
2003-07-05 03:37:43 PM  
I knew a guy in the local police, 20 years ago, said that cop parties made the most heavy-duty frat parties look like bridge games at a retreat for retired nuns. When you figure that liquor store owners, escort services and street drug dealers all want to be in their good books as opposed to getting booked, it just sort of follows.
2003-07-05 03:38:20 PM  
why is there a period mid sentace?
Allen Hathaway. Troop G, Philipsburg. Had sex with a woman in a patrol car
shouldn't it be:
Allen Hathaway. Troop G, Philipsburg had sex with a woman in a patrol car
2003-07-05 03:38:23 PM  
Wow. These guys are shiatbirds.

If it true let them fry bigtime. Just make them an example.
2003-07-05 03:39:12 PM  
somehow, for me, this article and thread epitomize fark
2003-07-05 03:39:36 PM  
I think it's a good rule of thumb to say that any joke involving a person's rectum can be considered as going too far.
2003-07-05 03:40:01 PM  
[image from bioag.com too old to be available]

2003-07-05 03:45:13 PM  

That was quite possibly the most innuendo-loaded statement ever. You get a gold star.
2003-07-05 03:46:05 PM  
It sounds like some of these folks were rejected from F Troop.

2003-07-05 03:49:55 PM  
"...that's right Trooper CarrotButt.....I only had TWO beers......by the way.....how many beers will it take for YOU to stick things in your rectum?"

/DUI Checkpoint
2003-07-05 03:50:50 PM  
Samuel Derugen [sic] "he passed gas on the trooper, but did not defecate, and shot the carrot out of his butt, then ate it as a prank."

HAHAHAHAAH god thats funny!

Hey, watch me do this trick... Got a carrot?
2003-07-05 03:50:55 PM  
barredIf POTUS can; so can we.
Don't use semicolons when you have a conjunction already; semicolons are to be used when you don't use a conjunction. Thus, "POTUS can; so can we" or "If POTUS can, so can we" would be correct. I love semicolons. :)

2003-07-05 03:51:28 PM  
"He said he passed gas on the trooper, but did not defecate..."

And the other trooper claimed that he "didn't inhale."

BTW There must be a hudge PA contingent on FARK: why else all the Philly news (although the Constitution Center fiasco was... well... funny.)

Viva Yeungling!
2003-07-05 03:52:32 PM  
What happened to the good old romantic days of leather fetish-wear, candle wax, and temporary body piercing?
2003-07-05 03:56:15 PM  
Nyeah, what's up there, Doc?

[image from home.btclick.com too old to be available]

2003-07-05 03:58:37 PM  
Why is it everytime I see or read about cops the NIN song "Piggy" immediately comes to mind. Particualrly the "hey piggy piggy" line with the ensuing bass guitar notes.
2003-07-05 03:59:32 PM  
i just can't ... you know ... what's wrong with ....

/forget it . it just can't be explained
2003-07-05 04:02:07 PM  
[image from movie-source.com too old to be available]

speeding and....speeding and......speeding and...... smoking the reefer

smell that rabbit?
rabbit: fear.
2003-07-05 04:04:20 PM  
I was standing on a ladder, and I slipped, and it went right up their....lol
2003-07-05 04:04:36 PM  
criminal cops. need we say more.
2003-07-05 04:12:23 PM  
and shot the carrot out of his butt, then ate it as a prank.

CHIEF says:

so let me get this striaght, you become a trooper and all of the sudden you just think you can SHOOT
goddamned carrots out you butt? and then eat them!! Is THAT it???
2003-07-05 04:18:50 PM  
This only strengthens my current bias that most cops have the mental age of a 10-year-old.
2003-07-05 04:19:14 PM  
I dont even wanna think about...TOO LATE. Why not a rutabega, or some nice summer squash?
2003-07-05 04:21:39 PM  
2003-07-05 03:38:20 PM Dj_pjamicus

why is there a period mid sentace?
Allen Hathaway. Troop G, Philipsburg. Had sex with a woman in a patrol car
shouldn't it be:
Allen Hathaway. Troop G, Philipsburg had sex with a woman in a patrol car

It goes like this: "Name. Troop, city. What they did" so no. Phillipsburg isn't that big of a city, but I don't think they could get the whole city into a patrol car to have sex with this woman.
2003-07-05 04:30:21 PM  
Too many grammar Nazis, and anal cops.
2003-07-05 04:35:06 PM  
Joseph J. Scobbo III. Troop E, Meadville. Photos show him standing naked with a group of people at the 1999 Thunder in the Cascades bike rally. He said he did not remember why he and the others had been standing naked but said they could have been changing clothes.

Well sometimes people just get naked. Bleh. Whatever. This guy does not deserve to be mentioned on the same page as the others. BTW - they still on the force?
2003-07-05 04:37:04 PM  
Why oh WHY did I click on that link?!

/runs to retch
2003-07-05 04:41:52 PM  
Young_Fart This only strengthens my current bias that most cops have the mental age of a 10-year-old.

Let me guess.... you're a stoner, and get mad when people say that all stoners are doped up slackers with the IQ of a Iranian midget?

There's dumbasses in every profession. The news media simply doesn't feel it's worth their time to print stories about the cops who aren't smacktards.
2003-07-05 04:43:41 PM  
Carrot Tops long lost brother Carrot Butt.
2003-07-05 04:58:24 PM  
Let me guess.... you're a stoner

Nope. Not even close. I do however know an incredible guy that was a cop, but he was so disgusted by the corruption that he quit and became a fireman instead. I figure he'll be a chief in a few years. Another friend of mine's dad was a fireman. He said the cops would always come down to the firehouse to waste time and drink all their coffee. In all fairness though, I will say that my experiences with law enforcement have been 100% improved since my change of venue. Granted, places like Philly aren't exactly Mensa hubs.
2003-07-05 05:01:04 PM  
Pooper Troopers II....sequeal anyone
2003-07-05 05:01:59 PM  
"Troop S, Harrisburg. Troopers watching porn video while on duty. Troopers were not interviewed individually about whether or not they had done so."

They didn't bother to interview them before they found them guilty? This list is weird.
2003-07-05 05:09:40 PM  
[image from larry-boy.com too old to be available]
2003-07-05 05:14:52 PM  
Carrot Tops long lost brother Carrot Butt.

Shouldn't the complement of Carrot Top be Carrot Bottom, not Carrot Butt?

"...shot the carrot out of his butt, then ate it as a prank."

Tossed Salad Shooter?
2003-07-05 05:20:30 PM  
If he can do it with a watermelon then I'll be impressed. If he's just going to pass gas on someones face? Why pull his pants down? So many questions I want answered... How does one learn to shoot carrots out his ass?
2003-07-05 05:21:31 PM  
...not a camel was to be seen...
2003-07-05 05:28:35 PM  
[image from cinefantastico.com too old to be available]
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