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(NewsNet5)   Pastor asks for sign from God. God responds by striking church with lightning   ( newsnet5.com) divider line
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9286 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2003 at 5:18 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-07-03 11:34:22 AM  
Hey Bullplenty Whats your bible say about this?
2003-07-03 12:05:46 PM  

(large black man voice)
2003-07-03 12:09:58 PM  
Now people are going to come from all over the country to pray in that church.
2003-07-03 12:13:40 PM  
I might go, but not pray. That's got to look as cool as hell.

/no pun intended
2003-07-03 12:14:41 PM  
I wasn't there, but I heard the pastor's sermon was electrifying.

2003-07-03 12:21:59 PM  
It's the Rapture! Quick, hide Bart before God comes!
2003-07-03 12:36:01 PM  
God works in mysterious ways, when he's in teh mood to cause $20,000 of damage.
2003-07-03 12:38:07 PM  
So which god did they piss off to get zapped by lightning?

Zues, Thor, Jeebus, Vishnu?

I can never keep them all straight, there are just so many.
2003-07-03 01:22:24 PM  
I did something like this once. It was on the 18th hole during a thunderstorm. No, wait, that was Caddyshack...
2003-07-03 05:03:04 PM  
Don't bother God when he's playing Vice City.
2003-07-03 05:22:21 PM  
According to earlier news God's sign is in Germany being hit by naked people having sex while driving.

That is all.
2003-07-03 05:22:53 PM  
A church in Beloit, Wisconsin where I went to school was struck by lightning, as well, but this one burned to the ground. They rebuilt it and it opened again a couple of years ago, so I'm just waiting for the fire and brimstone to come from the sky this time. I can't decide whether to become religious or put up lightning rods when I hear about things like this.
2003-07-03 05:23:22 PM  
And they took this as a GOOD sign?
If I was in that church and that happened I would seriously consider converting.
2003-07-03 05:23:29 PM  
I bet Buddha struck him with lightning, or so i've heard he had powers of lightning
2003-07-03 05:23:35 PM  
I'm shocked, shocked to find that signs from God are happening here.
2003-07-03 05:24:32 PM  
God needs to get with it and burn more churches.
2003-07-03 05:24:50 PM  
He (the evangelist) just kept asking God what else he needed to say," Cheney said. "He was asking for a sign and he got one."
Cheney said the lightning traveled through the microphone and enveloped the preacher, but he was not injured.

How about a nice cup of STFU!


I want you to be a golf pro.
2003-07-03 05:24:55 PM  
Ask and ye shall receive.
2003-07-03 05:25:38 PM  
that God sure is a trickester...
2003-07-03 05:26:47 PM  
"Where's your Messiah NOW?"

/Chief Wiggum
2003-07-03 05:27:00 PM  
I use to date a girl from Forest .... That town is werid as hell
2003-07-03 05:27:54 PM  
That's what happens when you rub Yaweh the wrong way...

/somebody put me out of misery
2003-07-03 05:28:25 PM  
The Forest Fire Department?

Shouldn't it have been the Church Fire Department...?
2003-07-03 05:29:20 PM  
Heh, excellent. A script writer couldn't have done it better.

Of course, as with everything in religion, this can be interpreted any way you like...
2003-07-03 05:29:37 PM  
[image from mainframe.cl too old to be available]
Cthulhu did it!!
2003-07-03 05:29:57 PM  
Having the tallest structure around struck by lightning during a thunderstorm is a sign from God?

No, just a smart and manipulative preacher playing some even odds!
2003-07-03 05:30:59 PM  
It doesn't seem fair that god gets let off free when Jesus and his sock of flaming righteousness got arrested for doing the same thing.
2003-07-03 05:31:02 PM  
Can this happen to regular people like me? Cause I got some built up repression about religion I need to get off my chest.

Q: Why are there so many churches (or being P.C., places of worship) in Tennessee?

A: The number of sinners.
2003-07-03 05:33:28 PM  
Forest Fire Dept? Someone must have a hard on for Smokey Bear...
2003-07-03 05:33:42 PM  
Now even God doesn't like the Baptists. I guess he's trying to save us from his followers...
2003-07-03 05:33:59 PM  
And remember:

[image from brutal.maram.nu too old to be available]

He's lucky that lightening was all he did!!!!

2003-07-03 05:34:10 PM  
Afterward, services resumed for about 20 minutes, but then the congregation realized that the church was on fire and the building was evacuated.

For some reason, this struck me as the funniest thing I've read in a long time.
2003-07-03 05:34:11 PM  
Methinks that was a message that says "SHADDUP ALREADY!"
2003-07-03 05:34:24 PM  
Furthermore, is Bevets coming to offer an explanation?
2003-07-03 05:34:59 PM  
More like "scary"
2003-07-03 05:35:40 PM  
How do they know it was God? Maybe Zeus or Odin threw the bolt. God's being made a scapegoat here ... He normally just sends email or puts on a late night infomercial if he wants to convey a message.
2003-07-03 05:37:17 PM  
Maybe it was Odin, the God of Lightning ? you can never know.
2003-07-03 05:40:40 PM  

Except for that little bit about the lightning traveling down the microphone cord and all. I doubt they planned that.

This is why I believe that God does, indeed, have a sense of humor (it was an Evangelist!), and that a bunch of the stuff in the Bible was just crap people put in to mantain power. See, god's not all that vengeful.. he just likes playing pranks! :P

((And I'm amazed this hasn't devolved into a flamewar yet...))
2003-07-03 05:41:05 PM  
And Lord Jebus did say unto the anoying preacher STFU with a bolt of righteous lightening...
2003-07-03 05:41:29 PM  
"Cheney said the lightning traveled through the microphone and enveloped the preacher, but he was not injured."

GOD - "Dammit, missed again"!
2003-07-03 05:42:12 PM  
Er... except Zeus or Odin would count as God's, wouldn't they? And I'm not sure if Odin was the god of Lightning.. bah, I need to brush up on my Norse Mythology.
2003-07-03 05:42:38 PM  
I just think it is really funny that that dude's name is "Cheney".
2003-07-03 05:43:25 PM  
Odin is not the God of Lightning, you Heathens!!

Thor is! Odin is the God of Kings and the god of Wisdom... I think.

Either way, Thor is the one with the lightning blasts.
2003-07-03 05:44:16 PM  
The_Hood: Yeah, I found that odd... How do you sit in a building that's on fire for 20 minutes without noticing?
2003-07-03 05:44:26 PM  
Just goes to show that God has a sense of humor. Got to go confess something now...
2003-07-03 05:45:24 PM  
"Er... except Zeus or Odin would count as God's, wouldn't they? And I'm not sure if Odin was the god of Lightning.. bah, I need to brush up on my Norse Mythology."--felgraf

No, Zeus, Odin, God, Santa Claus, etc. are all separate and distinct characters. Not sure if Odin threw lightning bolts either, but I do know Thor threw a Hammer ... and a great party too.
2003-07-03 05:45:24 PM  
They shouldn't have forgotten their sacrifices to Tlaloc.
2003-07-03 05:45:28 PM  
Was the question "Should we renovate the steeple?"
2003-07-03 05:47:51 PM  
[image from kabi.si too old to be available]
Maybe this guy should look into it.
2003-07-03 05:48:23 PM  
Oh I see, he was "emphasizing penance".
That works.

I bet the boys in that town don't masturbate for a long, long time.
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