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(Some Sith)   Let's not forget that Luke wanted to be a Storm Trooper until he was convinced by an old, bearded, non-Christian, cave dweller living among the sand people, to commit terrorist attacks against the legitimate government   (rumormiller.com) divider line
    More: Satire  
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20198 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 13 Oct 2010 at 12:45 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



253 Comments     (+0 »)


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2010-10-13 10:56:29 AM  
Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.
 
2010-10-13 11:06:28 AM  

Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.


But had to stay home one more season to tend to the harvest.
 
2010-10-13 11:10:21 AM  
Jon Stewart Stormtrooper is on the case!
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size

/Yes, it's real.
 
2010-10-13 11:20:41 AM  
Sure, the headline's funny, but didn't we just see this stupid-ass RumorMiller article yesterday?
 
2010-10-13 11:43:07 AM  

Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.


"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.
 
2010-10-13 12:01:23 PM  

BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


Whoa. I forgot that. But he also tells Obi Wan that he hates the Empire as much as anyone long before Beru-b-cue.
 
2010-10-13 12:06:36 PM  

I_C_Weener: Whoa. I forgot that. But he also tells Obi Wan that he hates the Empire as much as anyone long before Beru-b-cue.


Heh... good point. Again: Plot holes? In my Lucasfilm?
 
2010-10-13 12:14:19 PM  

BKITU: "You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy."


Nope, they were talking about Starfleet Academy. It's all the same universe, the next Star Trek film will tie it all together.

/mind blown
 
2010-10-13 12:21:41 PM  

Etchy333: BKITU: "You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy."

Nope, they were talking about Starfleet Academy. It's all the same universe, the next Star Trek film will tie it all together.

/mind blown


But it was LONG AGO in a galaxy FAR FAR AWAY
 
2010-10-13 12:41:19 PM  

Hollywood Cole: But it was LONG AGO in a galaxy FAR FAR AWAY


Yes, and Star Trek is just too classy to do something with time travel or wormholes...
 
2010-10-13 12:43:26 PM  
Did Porkins go to the academy? This is important.
 
2010-10-13 12:47:38 PM  
(pic of O'Donnell as Stormtrooper)

Proof that she's a clone!
 
2010-10-13 12:48:55 PM  
laughingsquid.comView Full Size
 
2010-10-13 12:49:35 PM  
"Who's the bigger fool? The fool who wrote the article or the fool who submitted it?"

learning-tech.co.ukView Full Size
 
2010-10-13 12:50:51 PM  
avanttrash.comView Full Size

rumormiller.comView Full Size


As if it wasn't obvious.
 
2010-10-13 12:51:07 PM  

BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


They cut out the part where he talks to Biggs about the Rebellion, but it is in the old Star Wars picture book from the late 70s.
 
2010-10-13 12:51:10 PM  
Was the Empire a "legitimate government"? Really?

Seeing as how the Emperor seized power in a coup d'etat, it seems obvious that the toppled Republic was the legitimate government, and the Rebellion actually restored the legitimate government.
 
2010-10-13 12:51:25 PM  

I_C_Weener: BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.

Whoa. I forgot that. But he also tells Obi Wan that he hates the Empire as much as anyone long before Beru-b-cue.


Yeah.

Obi-Wan: [to Luke] You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan.
Luke: Alderaan? I'm not going to Alderaan, I've gotta get *home*, it's late, I'm in for it as it is!
Obi-Wan: I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.
Luke: Look, I can't get involved. I've got work to do. It's not that I like the Empire; I hate it, but there's nothing I can do about it right now... It's all such a long way from here.
Obi-Wan: That's your uncle talking.
 
2010-10-13 12:51:36 PM  
The Stele Chronicles tell you everything you needed to know.
 
2010-10-13 12:51:50 PM  
Um, she looked fine.
 
2010-10-13 12:52:08 PM  
One mans terrorist is another mans freedom fighter.

I dont recall the rebels attacking any civilian targets only military.
 
2010-10-13 12:52:16 PM  

Etchy333: Hollywood Cole: But it was LONG AGO in a galaxy FAR FAR AWAY

Yes, and Star Trek is just too classy to do something with time travel or wormholes...


Let alone time traveling wormholes!
 
2010-10-13 12:52:20 PM  
I don't wish to get into a SW argument, at the risk of being too much of a geek; but subby's headline has no accuracy other then non-Christian bearded man.
 
2010-10-13 12:52:53 PM  
And he kissed his sister and he liked it.

Ignorance of the law does not protect you.
 
2010-10-13 12:53:17 PM  

Etchy333: Hollywood Cole: But it was LONG AGO in a galaxy FAR FAR AWAY

Yes, and Star Trek is just too classy to do something with time travel or wormholes...



No, it's just that the story is being told from the vantage point of even farther in the future (and far away). So both Star Trek & Star Wars are -- relatively speaking -- long ago & far away.

Yea, that's it...
 
2010-10-13 12:53:19 PM  
OH MY GOD i need to watch these movies again. I just realized it's been over a year....
 
2010-10-13 12:53:33 PM  

BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


I've always understood that line to indicate that the rebels were organized enough to have a shadow government set up in the sectors of space they controlled, much like say the Tamil Tigers and that the Rebellion operated a training Academy and actively recruited for it. After all, they had to have a fairly impressive industrial and manufacturing base to produce their own spacefighters and not simply use captured imperial ones.
 
2010-10-13 12:54:13 PM  
Oh, and for reference

Link (new window)
"This scene is a conversation between Luke and his oldest friend, Biggs Darklighter. Biggs has left Tatooine and is on planet leave from the Imperial Academy where he is training to be a space pilot. Luke's envy of Biggs's success conflicts with his duty to his uncle and his reasons for remaining on Tatooine. Biggs quietly tells Luke that he has decided to join the Rebellion against the Empire. In a tense and emotional conversation, the two young men say their final farewells. "
 
2010-10-13 12:54:17 PM  
"But what would you expect from group whose leader is named Akbar; I don't know about you but that sounds pretty Muslimy to me."

Are these people serious when they say stuff like this? I'm asking a serious question because I don't watch it. Please tell me this was tongue-in-cheek.
 
2010-10-13 12:54:52 PM  

Ponzholio: Obi-Wan: [to Luke] You must learn the ways of the Force, if you're to come with me to Alderaan.
Luke: Alderaan? I'm not going to Alderaan, I've gotta get *home*, it's late, I'm in for it as it is!
Obi-Wan: I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I'm getting too old for this sort of thing.
Luke: Look, I can't get involved. I've got work to do. It's not that I like the Empire; I hate it, but there's nothing I can do about it right now... It's all such a long way from here.
Obi-Wan: That's your uncle talking.


You did that from memory didn't you.
 
2010-10-13 12:55:49 PM  

Rawry: As if it wasn't obvious.


The second one is the Special Edition.
 
2010-10-13 12:56:06 PM  

BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


According to cannon, Luke knew that Biggs was trying to get in contact with the Alliance, so he was probably planning on going to the academy and then using Biggs' contact to defect.

Also, it's far more likely that Luke would've ended up a TIE pilot, rather than a Stormtrooper. Remember, he was a bit short.
 
2010-10-13 12:56:07 PM  

Rawry: As if it wasn't obvious.


Too late for me.
 
2010-10-13 12:56:22 PM  
horseshiat. he wanted to be a pilot
 
2010-10-13 12:56:39 PM  
From starwars.com:

Luke honed his piloting skills alongside Biggs in Tatooine's infamous Beggar's Canyon, racing his T-16 skyhopper. Biggs and Luke often spoke of joining the Imperial Academy. Despite his dreams, Luke was not allowed to attend. His uncle needed him on the farm, and so when Biggs went away to the Academy, Luke was stranded on Tatooine.
 
2010-10-13 12:56:43 PM  
Didn't it turn out that all the Storm Troopers were clones? Talk about being the odd man out in that organization.
 
2010-10-13 12:57:09 PM  
It's no fun when you label it as satire...
 
2010-10-13 12:57:25 PM  

Doc Daneeka: Was the Empire a "legitimate government"? Really?

Seeing as how the Emperor seized power in a coup d'etat, it seems obvious that the toppled Republic was the legitimate government, and the Rebellion actually restored the legitimate government.


two wrongs make a right?
 
2010-10-13 12:57:33 PM  
Jarvis Porter a Newark, DE computer programmer, upon seeing the picture, ejaculated

As did I.
 
2010-10-13 12:57:35 PM  

Rawry: As if it wasn't obvious.


I said it yesterday and I'll say it today- the Christine O'Connell one is hotter.
 
2010-10-13 12:57:50 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: And he kissed his sister and he liked it.

Ignorance of the law does not protect you.


It all makes since now... Luke was from the South.
 
2010-10-13 12:57:54 PM  

birchman: "But what would you expect from group whose leader is named Akbar; I don't know about you but that sounds pretty Muslimy to me."

Are these people serious when they say stuff like this? I'm asking a serious question because I don't watch it. Please tell me this was tongue-in-cheek.


Wasn't the seldom-used Satire tag enough of a tipoff?

/i know, i know, Poe's Law
 
2010-10-13 12:58:23 PM  
"That old man's just a crazy old wizard."

Ep I-II didn't have to suck. Ep. III everyone in the theatre laughed when Vader cried out "noooooo!!!"

The dude in his early 20s inthe theatre row right in front of me stood up and turned around (in his Jedi outfit) and yelled "Shut up!!!!!" in a whiney kids voice. That unfortunately was the most entertaining moment of Ep I-III.

Pathetic George, pretty pathetic.

I guess everything kind of went south after TESB (Ep IV).
 
2010-10-13 12:59:06 PM  
I hate to geek-out in public like this...but Luke intended to join the Imperal Academy, just as Biggs did.

He was completely surprised to later find out Biggs abandoned the Empire to join the Rebels. It was sort of a happy coincidence. But yes, Luke wanted to be a 'trooper up until the Larsbecue.
 
2010-10-13 12:59:22 PM  

jshine: Etchy333: Hollywood Cole: But it was LONG AGO in a galaxy FAR FAR AWAY

Yes, and Star Trek is just too classy to do something with time travel or wormholes...


No, it's just that the story is being told from the vantage point of even farther in the future (and far away). So both Star Trek & Star Wars are -- relatively speaking -- long ago & far away.

Yea, that's it...


THIS.....is my point.
 
2010-10-13 12:59:30 PM  

Doc Daneeka: Was the Empire a "legitimate government"? Really?

Seeing as how the Emperor seized power in a coup d'etat, it seems obvious that the toppled Republic was the legitimate government, and the Rebellion actually restored the legitimate government.


Sure, but that's not uncommon. Hell, US government was formed after violent insurrection against Britain -- the legitimate government at the time. Is it illegitimate as a result?
 
2010-10-13 1:00:02 PM  
Subby: Let's not forget that Luke wanted to be a Storm Trooper...

Isn't he a little short for a stormtrooper?
 
2010-10-13 1:00:39 PM  

BKITU: Mentat: Uh, no, Luke wanted to join the Rebellion like his friend Biggs.

"You can go to the Academy next year." -- Uncle Owen

As in "the Imperial Academy." Luke didn't decide to join the Rebellion until after the Stormtroopers turned Owen and Beru into Larsbecue. I've always figured Biggs switched sides after hearing what happened to Luke's family.

/Or it's just a massive plot hole.
//In my Lucasfilm? It's more likely than I think.


Luke tells Ben he hates the Empire before his home is attacked, and a deleted scene from earlier in the film when Luke visits with Biggs in Anchorhead shows Biggs in his cadet uniform confiding in Luke that he's joining the Rebellion. People went to the Academy to get an education and it's implied it was an institution that existed in the Republic before Palpatine became Emperor. Clearly Biggs was not brainwashed while he was there but quite the opposite.
 
2010-10-13 1:00:45 PM  
What a difference a decade makes. Remember where we were when Clinton left office?

Check out this blast from the past. It makes amazing reading nowadays.

President Clinton: The United States on Track to Pay Off the Debt by 2010

Nine consecutive years of fiscal improvement. FY 2001 will be the fourth year in a row of overall surpluses and the second year in a row of a surplus without counting Social Security or Medicare. It will be the ninth consecutive year of fiscal improvement, the longest such period in history.

The U.S. is on track to eliminate the publicly held debt this decade. Under OMB's new baseline projection, the public debt would be eliminated in FY 2009. This budget "baseline" by definition includes no new initiatives or policy changes and therefore the entire budget surplus is dedicated to debt reduction (including the Social Security, Medicare, and on-budget surpluses). A fiscally responsible budget that includes new investments in moderate tax relief, a Medicare prescription drugs proposal, and key domestic priorities could eliminate the public debt by FY 2010.


The most fiscally conservative President of the last 30 years, and the Republicans impeached him over trivial personal indiscretions.
 
2010-10-13 1:00:58 PM  

Doc Daneeka: Was the Empire a "legitimate government"? Really?

Seeing as how the Emperor seized power in a coup d'etat, it seems obvious that the toppled Republic was the legitimate government, and the Rebellion actually restored the legitimate government.


Kind of like how the American Revolution overturned the rightful government of the colonies in a coup d'etat and seized it for the Guerillas.
 
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