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(Independent)   Scrotally applied testosterone patches no more effective than other delivery methods but make wearers feel more masculine   ( news.independent.co.uk) divider line
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3550 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jun 2003 at 7:56 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

67 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-06-10 07:59:09 AM  
Let's see how far the "biggest weener" comments go.
2003-06-10 08:00:26 AM  
Is scrotally really a word? Cause if it is, it would be scrotally awesome!
2003-06-10 08:01:13 AM  
It's a perfectly cromulent word.
2003-06-10 08:02:32 AM  
Yay! Let's tinker with our inner mechanics even further, surely only good can come of that.
2003-06-10 08:03:30 AM  
<-- result of facially-applied scrotum.
2003-06-10 08:05:05 AM  
<<|==== This guy will eat your children
2003-06-10 08:05:16 AM  
<-------- He's enjoying the results
2003-06-10 08:07:44 AM  
Testosterone Patch 2.02. Now supports DirectSex 8!

2003-06-10 08:07:51 AM  
I make my own out of duct tape.
2003-06-10 08:12:26 AM  
Actually, the scrotal patch is not new. It was first designed by Honore Balzac...

2003-06-10 08:16:28 AM  
I heard it gives you hairy palms and puts hair on the soles of your feet. You will also grow a unibrow and look like Frida.
2003-06-10 08:25:45 AM  
Women taking this will have increased sexual desires to go along with their hairy faces and nipples.

Psychiatrists rejoice.
2003-06-10 08:26:13 AM  
Get back Jack
Got a patch on my sack
You know I got the knack
For a drug-induced attack
That'll land me in jail
Always receiving the mail
2003-06-10 08:26:39 AM  
Personally, I swear by Royal Jelly. At least, I did until I got yellow and black fuzzy stripes on my chest and developed antennae. Or am I confusing my life with a Roald Dahl short story again?
2003-06-10 08:28:39 AM  
Scrotally Applied Testosterone. SAT?
2003-06-10 08:30:01 AM  
I'm sorry doctor, I will need your hot nurse to show me how to apply this.
2003-06-10 08:30:46 AM  
Why can't we just stick with getting drunk and beating up someone weaker to feel masculine?
2003-06-10 08:34:29 AM  
nothing like sticking a sticker on your hairy balls to feel more like a man
2003-06-10 08:35:43 AM  
No-one has noticed the obvious flaw here? Like what happens when it runs out and you have to remove it?

Sounds painful to meepmeep...
2003-06-10 08:36:40 AM  
I guess the really fun part is when it's time to pull the patch back off.
Right, boys?
2003-06-10 08:39:57 AM  
Presumably you have to wax the scrotum first to ensure the patch sticks well.
2003-06-10 08:41:00 AM  

/got nothin
2003-06-10 08:41:26 AM  
Fun things to do with your balls:

1. Play with them.
2. Apply testosterone patch.
3. Play with them.
4. Alternetly dip in hot/cold water to watch grow/shrink.
5. Make a puppet with them.
6. Check for tumors. (see "play with them".)
7. Hang out of pants and see if anyone notices.
8. Play with them.
9. Take pictures after making puppets.
10. Peanut butter trick. (If you have a pet.)
2003-06-10 08:42:03 AM  
Now I've read the article...

patches to be placed on the shaved scrotum, a method popular in Germany

Still doesn't appeal.
2003-06-10 08:42:21 AM  
I really need these so I can keep up with the rest of the folks at the WWF or NHL or Walmart...
2003-06-10 08:42:43 AM  
Patches? we don't need no stinking patches!
[image from mars.netanya.ac.il too old to be available]
2003-06-10 08:44:39 AM  
Wouldn't a sack-patch make you feel more itchy?
2003-06-10 08:45:44 AM  
What are the side effects of androstenedione?

Due to the brief burst of testosterone, you may get the usual testosterone side effects. Androstenedione is not a drug, therefore it does not pose the health risks of anabolic steroid use, such as liver toxicity, balding, kidney stress, etc. If a man is not exercising and uses too much androstenedione gel it may cause gynecomastia (male breasts). We strongly recommend using only as directed and finding time to exercise daily.

WTF? No thanks.
2003-06-10 08:46:22 AM  

Only a real manly man can roll back prices for savings THAT HUGE.

Now I am going to question people when they say that they have gone on the patch.

Explains why the Pep boys were so Peppy... Don't even get me started on Bob's Big boy.
2003-06-10 08:46:34 AM  
I wanna dip my patch-covered balls in it!

/wondering when or if "The State" will ever be re-run or released on DVD..
2003-06-10 08:47:05 AM  
It also raises the nightmare scenario - as Neave puts it - "of 60 and 70 year olds fighting in lap dancing clubs".

Sounds like a whole new genre of entertainment to me.
2003-06-10 08:47:51 AM  
I quote the State at least once a week and nobody ever gets it. I'm Doug and I'm outtttttaaaa heeeeeereee.
2003-06-10 08:47:53 AM  

OH HOW I MISS "THE STATE"!!! My friend has it on videotape so there IS a video of it at least... It also includes the famous Jesus/Ball-dipping episode.
2003-06-10 08:47:58 AM  

Two bad words for ya - Big Mac
2003-06-10 08:48:00 AM  
Speaking personally, I'd no sooner want to take a razor to my balls than stick a patch on my hairy nutsack.
2003-06-10 08:48:39 AM  
Hrmmmmm, shaving my scrotum and applying testosterone gel...

does it burn?
2003-06-10 08:49:11 AM  

Are you aware that you can get most if not all of the scenes from http://www.statemedia.net/state.php. The quality isn't high, but the humor is!
2003-06-10 08:50:56 AM  

nice.... I was always kind of partial to washing down a Chalupa with Mountain Dew.
2003-06-10 08:52:41 AM  
Thanks, Bark!

It's been so long that I would probably miss most of the references too. Some of the stuff just sticks with you though. (We got aaaaall this pudding..., Michael Ian Black running through the park with his toothbrush while "Your Sweetest Thing" by Sugar is playing...)

/I should stop threadjacking now...
2003-06-10 08:53:10 AM  
Haha LawTalkingGuy, I loved that show!
2003-06-10 08:54:11 AM  
There's nothing quite like dipping your balls in a cold bowl of milk and letting the cats lick you clean

/alternative to peanut butter

/also, sickest thing I could think of this early
2003-06-10 08:57:39 AM  
No problem...

I was always a big fan of the Muppet hunting and the Restaurant hand signals.

Quicktime needs to be patched more than testicles.

/not a threadjack if I use the word testicles
2003-06-10 08:57:50 AM  
The Italian the Jew and the read headed gay is my fave.
2003-06-10 08:58:47 AM  
Michael Ian Black - wasn't he also "Johnny Blue Jeans" from Viva Variety?
2003-06-10 09:03:44 AM  
Yes and Mr. Lopan was also a State alumni
2003-06-10 09:03:50 AM  
06-10-03 08:26:39 AM Purple_Jack
Personally, I swear by Royal Jelly. At least, I did until I got yellow and black fuzzy stripes on my chest and developed antennae. Or am I confusing my life with a Roald Dahl short story again?

Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me

Why would you use a testosterone patch?
All it will do is pull hairs from your thatch
Just eat a dab of our Royal Jelly
Then you'll grow stronger and you'll see
(Or you might become a bee)
2003-06-10 09:06:55 AM  
"The sperm-count is adversely affected by heat, caffeine and alcohol. So try to avoid dipping your plums in Irish Coffee before having sex." - Jeremy Hardy Speaks To The Nation.
2003-06-10 09:10:52 AM  
To me that is foreplay.
2003-06-10 09:19:26 AM  
Stoatbringer Sounds like effective (and sexy) birth control.
2003-06-10 09:22:22 AM  
The best form of birth control is going to Chucky Cheese on saturday. You will leave there and buy yourself a dog

/Rodney Carrington
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