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(Gamma Squad)   Fark you Kevin Smith, the Goddamn Batman does not pee his pants   (gammasquad.uproxx.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, the Goddamn Batman, Batman, electricity generation, History Channel, GammaSquad  
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9877 clicks; posted to Geek » on 30 Jul 2010 at 2:21 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-07-30 01:25:37 PM  
Just gonna apply a little ret-con here.... there you go, all better.
 
2010-07-30 01:30:26 PM  
They're not pants. They're TIGHTS.
 
2010-07-30 01:33:55 PM  
This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples
 
2010-07-30 01:42:51 PM  
I'll withhold judgment until I read the whole context of the comic. For all we know, Batman could have been farking with the guy. The next panel could read, "No, I didn't actually pee my pants. I'm just farking with you. Who the fark do you think I am? I'm the farking BATMAN."

But I'll probably never get around to reading that comic, so...meh.
 
2010-07-30 01:43:11 PM  
as Adam Sandler has told you, "you ain't cool if you dont pee your pants"
 
2010-07-30 02:13:47 PM  
Calls for a Photoshop.

/no skillz
 
2010-07-30 02:24:12 PM  

seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples


I disagree.

thereheis.comView Full Size
 
2010-07-30 02:25:00 PM  
The*
 
2010-07-30 02:26:31 PM  

Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.


Great, I wanted to sleep tonight.
 
2010-07-30 02:28:39 PM  

Sedatedbylife: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

Great, I wanted to sleep tonight.


I know. Earth and the Sun are totally drawn wrong. That will bother me for weeks.
 
2010-07-30 02:35:53 PM  

Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.


Cannot see pic, work computer will not allow. Should I be thankful?
 
2010-07-30 02:36:35 PM  

seumasokelly: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

Cannot see pic, work computer will not allow. Should I be thankful?


It is a pregnant Batman exposing his belly for Superman, who is lovingly hugging it like he is the father.

Also, they are on the moon for some reason.
 
2010-07-30 02:36:43 PM  

Sedatedbylife:
Great, I wanted to sleep tonight.


I know, that picture hit me the same way.

I'm going to be up all night masturbating now.
 
2010-07-30 02:37:59 PM  

Treygreen13: seumasokelly: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

Cannot see pic, work computer will not allow. Should I be thankful?

It is a pregnant Batman exposing his belly for Superman, who is lovingly hugging it like he is the father.

Also, they are on the moon for some reason.


They are on the moon, because that's where JLA hq is.
 
2010-07-30 02:40:54 PM  

Ringtailed79: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

Cannot see pic, work computer will not allow. Should I be thankful?

It is a pregnant Batman exposing his belly for Superman, who is lovingly hugging it like he is the father.

Also, they are on the moon for some reason.

They are on the moon, because that's where JLA hq is.


JLA Headquarters is a satellite. Not the moon. Unless the JLA satellite has craters, they're on the moon.
 
2010-07-30 02:41:14 PM  
Hmm.
 
2010-07-30 02:41:56 PM  
Oh, come on, submitter. Even the best of us has the occasional accident.
 
2010-07-30 02:42:35 PM  
Good.

fark the whole "Batman can do anything with a minute of planning" bullshiat. He's a regular man who could be killed dozens of times over by any other member of the Justice League... even Aquaman.

So, Batman pissed himself. Best thing Kevin Smith has ever written.

And why did Batman piss himself?

i6.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2010-07-30 02:45:27 PM  

Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.


That's just sick. Why do people feel the need to feminize superheroes?

On topic: I'm a big Kevin Smith comic fan, ever since he wrote ASBAR, and I think the scene humanizes Wayne in a touching way. Batman is just a man in a mask, not a god. He can be fallible and human just like any other person. Isn't that the whole point of this story arc - that he's Bruce Wayne dressing up as Batman, not Batman who sometimes dresses down as Bruce Wayne, and that he needs to be more in touch with his human side?
 
2010-07-30 02:45:51 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Good.

fark the whole "Batman can do anything with a minute of planning" bullshiat. He's a regular man who could be killed dozens of times over by any other member of the Justice League... even Aquaman.

So, Batman pissed himself. Best thing Kevin Smith has ever written.

And why did Batman piss himself?


Batman's known weaknesses: Bullets, Karate chops to the back of the neck, Knockout Gas, boys in hotpants.
 
2010-07-30 02:50:21 PM  

Fano:

Batman's known weaknesses: Bullets, Karate chops to the back of the neck, Knockout Gas, boys in hotpants.


That's Bruce Wayne Batman's weaknesses.

If we were talking about Dick Grayson's weaknesses, they would definitely include voyeur cripple fetish porn...

i6.photobucket.comView Full Size


/goddamn DC.
 
2010-07-30 02:50:39 PM  

The guy who is trolling you right now: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

That's just sick. Why do people feel the need to feminize superheroes?

On topic: I'm a big Kevin Smith comic fan, ever since he wrote ASBAR, and I think the scene humanizes Wayne in a touching way. Batman is just a man in a mask, not a god. He can be fallible and human just like any other person. Isn't that the whole point of this story arc - that he's Bruce Wayne dressing up as Batman, not Batman who sometimes dresses down as Bruce Wayne, and that he needs to be more in touch with his human side?


You know what would also humanize him? If the next time a world ending villain like Darkseid shows up and Batman say "holy fark we're all gonna die" and shat his pants. And who knows, show him rubbing one out to Oracle and telling Alfred he could have nailed the Batgroupie any time he wanted
 
2010-07-30 02:51:03 PM  

Treygreen13: Ringtailed79: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

Cannot see pic, work computer will not allow. Should I be thankful?

It is a pregnant Batman exposing his belly for Superman, who is lovingly hugging it like he is the father.

Also, they are on the moon for some reason.

They are on the moon, because that's where JLA hq is.

JLA Headquarters is a satellite. Not the moon. Unless the JLA satellite has craters, they're on the moon.


Morrison's JLA (1997-2006) moved their HQ to "The watchtower" which is on the moon.

JLA Vol2 (2006-current) focuses mainly on "the Hall" which is a building in Washington DC (that resembles the Hall of justice from the superfriends cartoon). However, this series still directly references both the satellite and the watchtower on the moon. The satellite was destroyed in Final crisis (I think- feel free to correct me on this).

/get your nerd on
 
2010-07-30 02:52:37 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Fano:

Batman's known weaknesses: Bullets, Karate chops to the back of the neck, Knockout Gas, boys in hotpants.

That's Bruce Wayne Batman's weaknesses.

If we were talking about Dick Grayson's weaknesses, they would definitely include voyeur cripple fetish porn...

/goddamn DC.


The perspective appears a bit... off for her right leg. Not quite Liefeld off, but like the kid under the porch in that one Red Meat comic
 
2010-07-30 02:55:00 PM  

Ringtailed79: Treygreen13: Ringtailed79: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

Cannot see pic, work computer will not allow. Should I be thankful?

It is a pregnant Batman exposing his belly for Superman, who is lovingly hugging it like he is the father.

Also, they are on the moon for some reason.

They are on the moon, because that's where JLA hq is.

JLA Headquarters is a satellite. Not the moon. Unless the JLA satellite has craters, they're on the moon.

Morrison's JLA (1997-2006) moved their HQ to "The watchtower" which is on the moon.

JLA Vol2 (2006-current) focuses mainly on "the Hall" which is a building in Washington DC (that resembles the Hall of justice from the superfriends cartoon). However, this series still directly references both the satellite and the watchtower on the moon. The satellite was destroyed in Final crisis (I think- feel free to correct me on this).

/get your nerd on


t1.gstatic.comView Full Size


I defer to your JLA knowledge, which is more recent than mine.
 
2010-07-30 02:57:43 PM  
The link won't work for me, why exactly is Batman pissing himself?
 
2010-07-30 02:59:20 PM  

Cagey B: The link won't work for me, why exactly is Batman pissing himself?


He set up some plastic explosives in a room to blow up some bad guys, but inadvertently used too much and blew himself up along with them.

Lost bladder control for a moment. It's not as if he just didn't hold it.
 
2010-07-30 02:59:39 PM  
f*ck you kevin smith for being a fat ass whiny baby and for making CopOUt.
 
2010-07-30 03:02:14 PM  

Treygreen13: He set up some plastic explosives in a room to blow up some bad guys, but inadvertently used too much and blew himself up along with them.

Lost bladder control for a moment. It's not as if he just didn't hold it.


Thanks. Since it was Kevin Smith, I was envisioning something on the order of "omg I drank too much lemonade before getting into the Batmobile" or some such.
 
2010-07-30 03:06:24 PM  

Ringtailed79: Treygreen13: Ringtailed79: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: Treygreen13: seumasokelly: This is not the worst thing ever done to The Batman.

\Val Kilmer
\\George Clooney
\\\Rubber suit with nipples

I disagree.

Cannot see pic, work computer will not allow. Should I be thankful?

It is a pregnant Batman exposing his belly for Superman, who is lovingly hugging it like he is the father.

Also, they are on the moon for some reason.

They are on the moon, because that's where JLA hq is.

JLA Headquarters is a satellite. Not the moon. Unless the JLA satellite has craters, they're on the moon.

Morrison's JLA (1997-2006) moved their HQ to "The watchtower" which is on the moon.

JLA Vol2 (2006-current) focuses mainly on "the Hall" which is a building in Washington DC (that resembles the Hall of justice from the superfriends cartoon). However, this series still directly references both the satellite and the watchtower on the moon. The satellite was destroyed in Final crisis (I think- feel free to correct me on this).

/get your nerd on


Nobody is going to out-nerd you on this one. You just responded with facts and figures about a writer's run on a comic book in order to set straight where said comic book's heroes were stationed during the 1990's and 2000's. This response was triggered by a picture of a pregnant Batman being embraced by Superman.
 
2010-07-30 03:09:12 PM  
So let me get this straight.

People are biatching because Batman admits - that during a story that would have taken place 20 years before he was the Batman we know and read today (competent, capable, prepared for everything) - he might have had a moment where his bladder 'spasmed' after an explosion he set off was too powerful? Remember, this is noob Batman we're talking about.

And this somehow makes Batman a pussy?

I read TFA, and was reading the comic - though missed a number of issues, apparently - and can understand the author's problem with it. In the story, Bruce lets his guard down too quickly. I understand that's Kevin's whole point to this series, though - so I can accept it.

Of course, it's also just a comic book so why people get their panties in a twist I never understand.

/spends $30-50 a week on DC comics
 
2010-07-30 03:12:09 PM  

TellarHK: People are biatching because Batman admits - that during a story that would have taken place 20 years before he was the Batman we know and read today (competent, capable, prepared for everything) - he might have had a moment where his bladder 'spasmed' after an explosion he set off was too powerful? Remember, this is noob Batman we're talking about.


This is Batman we're talking about. As you know, some Batman fanatics actually believe he has a contingency plan in place for every possible event to ever happen ever, is the most powerful being in any universe, and every situation he finds himself in is a carefully orchestrated dance to his enemy's destruction.

But they hate Superman because his powers are too strong.

Plus we all know Squirrel Girl is the most powerful being in the universe.
 
2010-07-30 03:12:37 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Fano:

Batman's known weaknesses: Bullets, Karate chops to the back of the neck, Knockout Gas, boys in hotpants.

That's Bruce Wayne Batman's weaknesses.

If we were talking about Dick Grayson's weaknesses, they would definitely include voyeur cripple fetish porn...

/goddamn DC.


Poor, poor Barbara Gordon.
 
2010-07-30 03:13:37 PM  
Am I the only one who doesn't give a shiat about things being Cannon or not? Zomg the Dune prequals are Cannon, the Barron was thin in the Dune Universe. Zomg the starwars prequals are cannon, Anakin really did build C3PO in the star wars universe. Zomg Batman p!ssed his pants in the DC Cannon Universe.

No it didn't happen in any farking universe, it's fiction.
 
2010-07-30 03:14:19 PM  

Treygreen13:
Plus we all know Squirrel Girl is the most powerful being in the universe.


Indeed!

Since last we saw her, she has bested Ego the Living Planet, Korvac, and Fin Fang Foom.
 
2010-07-30 03:15:19 PM  

maxximillian: Am I the only one who doesn't give a shiat about things being Cannon or not?


No. My favorite super hero is Deadpool. I don't care at all about something being canonical.
 
2010-07-30 03:15:50 PM  

Treygreen13:
This is Batman we're talking about. As you know, some Batman fanatics actually believe he has a contingency plan in place for every possible event to ever happen ever, is the most powerful being in any universe, and every situation he finds himself in is a carefully orchestrated dance to his enemy's destruction.

But they hate Superman because his powers are too strong.

Plus we all know Squirrel Girl is the most powerful being in the universe.


Squirrel Girl does have a pretty good "Villains Defeated" resume, I'll give her that.

And modern Batman (Bruce, pre-Final Crisis) definitely did try and have plans for everything. But DC's writers are better than Marvel's, they don't have Batman just wake up one day and say "I'm not Bruce Wayne, I'm the Goddamn Batman and I know _everything_!" He's gotta work for it.

I wish fanboys weren't such... fanboys. They really do all comic readers a disservice. They're like gay pride parades.

Yes, some of us are gay. But goddamn do we not want to be associated with that shiat.
 
2010-07-30 03:15:58 PM  

maxximillian: Am I the only one who doesn't give a shiat about things being Cannon or not? Zomg the Dune prequals are Cannon, the Barron was thin in the Dune Universe. Zomg the starwars prequals are cannon, Anakin really did build C3PO in the star wars universe. Zomg Batman p!ssed his pants in the DC Cannon Universe.

No it didn't happen in any farking universe, it's fiction.


i6.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2010-07-30 03:19:31 PM  

Treygreen13: maxximillian: Am I the only one who doesn't give a shiat about things being Cannon or not?

No. My favorite super hero is Deadpool. I don't care at all about something being canonical.


Not to be mean & hurt your feelings, but...
Deadpool was written to amuse teenage fanboys who think they're more clever than they are.
Enjoy living in your mom's basement & never meeting girls.
 
2010-07-30 03:19:36 PM  

TellarHK: And modern Batman (Bruce, pre-Final Crisis) definitely did try and have plans for everything. But DC's writers are better than Marvel's, they don't have Batman just wake up one day and say "I'm not Bruce Wayne, I'm the Goddamn Batman and I know _everything_!" He's gotta work for it.


Indeed. The operative word is "try". And (in my opinion) the character was at his best when he'd set up an elaborate scenario to trap and defeat an enemy, no doubt.

I suppose the main issue I have with the "plan for everything" thing came from the theoretical "Superhero Battles" they used to Greenlight here. And it would inevitably turn into "Batman wins because he'd already have a trap set for Superman, even if Superman just flew into space and pushed the moon into the earth. Batman would have a spaceship made of Kryptonite."

But that is getting upset about dumb people on Fark, and I shouldn't do that.
 
2010-07-30 03:22:37 PM  

Treygreen13: maxximillian: Am I the only one who doesn't give a shiat about things being Cannon or not?

No. My favorite super hero is Deadpool. I don't care at all about something being canonical.


This.
 
2010-07-30 03:25:12 PM  

schattenteufel: Not to be mean & hurt your feelings, but...
Deadpool was written to amuse teenage fanboys who think they're more clever than they are.
Enjoy living in your mom's basement & never meeting girls.


That's because I'm only a casual comic book fan. I don't think it's a serious comic at all... but the character is just funny. I used to read lots of comics religiously when I was younger. I just changed over time.

My friend (who is a big fan of all comics, specifically Daredevil and Green Lantern) occasionally tosses the Deadpool comics my way because he knows I'm entertained by them.

But hey, if you think the fact that I've got Deadpool posters on my wall and cosplay as him, you're just wrong.

Perhaps you should look at yourself. I mean, if you feel that my taste in comics were more "mature" I'd get laid more, you have far more problems than I do.
 
2010-07-30 03:26:12 PM  

Treygreen13: But hey, if you think the fact that I've got Deadpool posters on my wall and cosplay as him, you're just wrong.


Err, if you think it is a fact that I have Deadpool posters and cosplay as him, you're wrong.

Had to correct myself. I don't own any comic book posters, and I've never cosplayed as anyone.
 
2010-07-30 03:28:32 PM  

schattenteufel: Not to be mean & hurt your feelings, but...
Deadpool was written to amuse teenage fanboys who think they're more clever than they are.
Enjoy living in your mom's basement & never meeting girls.


x68.xanga.comView Full Size
 
2010-07-30 03:31:51 PM  

TellarHK: Treygreen13:
This is Batman we're talking about. As you know, some Batman fanatics actually believe he has a contingency plan in place for every possible event to ever happen ever, is the most powerful being in any universe, and every situation he finds himself in is a carefully orchestrated dance to his enemy's destruction.

But they hate Superman because his powers are too strong.

Plus we all know Squirrel Girl is the most powerful being in the universe.

Squirrel Girl does have a pretty good "Villains Defeated" resume, I'll give her that.

And modern Batman (Bruce, pre-Final Crisis) definitely did try and have plans for everything. But DC's writers are better than Marvel's, they don't have Batman just wake up one day and say "I'm not Bruce Wayne, I'm the Goddamn Batman and I know _everything_!" He's gotta work for it.

I wish fanboys weren't such... fanboys. They really do all comic readers a disservice. They're like gay pride parades.

Yes, some of us are gay. But goddamn do we not want to be associated with that shiat.


morethings.comView Full Size


It's not even the most embarrassing thing to happen to the Batman. Still, it sounds like the kind of thing an 8 year old would pitch as part of a story.

/Kevin Smith really pulled a boner
 
2010-07-30 03:32:32 PM  

Treygreen13: That's because I'm only a casual comic book fan. I don't think it's a serious comic at all... but the character is just funny. I used to read lots of comics religiously when I was younger. I just changed over time.

My friend (who is a big fan of all comics, specifically Daredevil and Green Lantern) occasionally tosses the Deadpool comics my way because he knows I'm entertained by them.

But hey, if you think the fact that I've got Deadpool posters on my wall and cosplay as him, you're just wrong.

Perhaps you should look at yourself. I mean, if you feel that my taste in comics were more "mature" I'd get laid more, you have far more problems than I do.



Actually I just say that stuff to troll Deadpool fans, 'cuz they're total biatches.
 
2010-07-30 03:36:44 PM  

schattenteufel: Actually I just say that stuff to troll Deadpool fans, 'cuz they're total biatches.


Oh, well then troll on. That was pretty sweet.

Are there really hardcore Deadpool fans? It would seem to be difficult to be a really big fan of comic books and then have him be your favorite, considering that he is essentially a caricature of comic book culture.

My friend (the big comic book fan) will read the serious comics for a long time and then read Deadpool to laugh. Then he gives them to me and I laugh. Then he fills me in on the interesting stuff happening in the comic books he reads while we drink beer.
 
2010-07-30 03:43:14 PM  
If I read any Marvel at all, I'd probably read and enjoy Deadpool. But I can't afford to risk getting into Marvel continuity stories at all, because my budget just won't allow it. I'm already pulling 2/3'rds of DC's continuity every week.

For fun on the DC side, there's always Secret Six. Holy gods, I love Gail Simone's writing when she's able to just let characters run rampant. I will go on record stating that Catman is the most badass character reinvention of ALL TIME.

/imma let you finish
 
2010-07-30 03:45:35 PM  

Treygreen13: schattenteufel: Actually I just say that stuff to troll Deadpool fans, 'cuz they're total biatches.

Oh, well then troll on. That was pretty sweet.

Are there really hardcore Deadpool fans? It would seem to be difficult to be a really big fan of comic books and then have him be your favorite, considering that he is essentially a caricature of comic book culture.

My friend (the big comic book fan) will read the serious comics for a long time and then read Deadpool to laugh. Then he gives them to me and I laugh. Then he fills me in on the interesting stuff happening in the comic books he reads while we drink beer.


There are big fans of Deadpool. Went to my first Con in Seattle this summer and the number of Deadpool t-shirts was pretty high. Also there were a few people in costume, which had to suck because it was like 110 degrees in there and they had full-face masks on.
 
2010-07-30 03:54:08 PM  
Remember, in some one-shot, the Punisher killed every Marvel superhero, then killed himself. Glorious book.
 
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