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(Jacksonville)   Wacky adventures of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Including man who think turtles are Jesus, and wants to eat them   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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3552 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2003 at 10:25 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

71 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-06-01 08:51:10 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-06-01 08:53:46 PM  
I've heard of a cooter...but a Cooter Turtle?

Perhaps Ben Jones can clarify?
2003-06-01 08:59:22 PM  
My question is...Whats a pit pull?

Two pit pulls immediately launched themselves at Eason through a partially open flap in the tent.
2003-06-01 09:45:47 PM  
the turtle doesn't need a rock - it can walk on water
2003-06-01 10:04:11 PM  
On May 15, Officer Dave Rosado checked two fishermen at the Main Street Bridge and Trout River. The subjects were fishing about 10 feet from each other when Rosado attempted a check to determine if they were Florida residents. They both gave Rosado the same name with different dates of birth.

Dude! Shut up, that's my name!

Hey! You shut up, it's my name!
2003-06-01 10:10:42 PM  
A pit pull is when you pull on your pits and launch them through a partially open flap in the tent.

wha? you haven't done that before?
2003-06-01 10:29:23 PM  
Isn't it tradition to eat Jesus, anyway?
2003-06-01 10:29:27 PM  
hey- we have a FLORIDUH tag, USE it!!
2003-06-01 10:29:35 PM  
shouldn't this have the "Florida" tag? (don't know html else i'd put it here)
2003-06-01 10:30:32 PM  
damn you, bellefromhell, beat me by 8 seconds
2003-06-01 10:30:39 PM  
Jesus soup. Mmmmmmmm.
2003-06-01 10:32:15 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

For Bellefromhell and Brewski
2003-06-01 10:32:51 PM  
Next time on Jerry Springer :
Women who want to marry the Pope , and men who want to eat Jesus.
2003-06-01 10:34:15 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2003-06-01 10:36:44 PM  
Much abliged, ZTigerX!
2003-06-01 10:36:55 PM  
thanks ZtigerX
2003-06-01 10:37:30 PM  
Feh, the Catholics think they eat Jesus every Sunday, literally. They magically transform the pieces of bread into the flesh of Jesus and then eat it. Its called transubstantiation.

Oddly enough, the wine is also magically turned into the blood of Jesus, but I bet if I were to take it and test it I would see that Jesus had extremely high blood alcohol levels, indicating he is drunk all the time. This would make sense considering the state of the universe which Jesus is supposed to be running.
2003-06-01 10:38:01 PM  
Don't F--k with the Jesus, man.
2003-06-01 10:39:04 PM  
Dont try to tell me that turtle isn't Jesus....!

You must be some kind of anti-theist (a phrase made up by a dictionary challenged person other than myself) or something..
2003-06-01 10:39:21 PM  
11 seconds, Brewski!
2003-06-01 10:40:23 PM  
hate you so much, Belle, just for that, i'm going back to lurking!
2003-06-01 10:41:06 PM  
2003-06-01 10:41:23 PM  
Hey now, I was just having fun! Please come back!!!
2003-06-01 10:41:44 PM  
There's no such thing as normal in Florida, is there?
2003-06-01 10:42:09 PM  
"when Rosado attempted a check to determine if they were Florida residents. They both gave Rosado the same name with different dates of birth."

You gentlemen can't BOTH be Seymour Butts...
2003-06-01 10:42:20 PM  
I saw a turtle.
2003-06-01 10:42:38 PM  
I'm a natural history buff too, but still, what the heck is a cooter turtle?

This story reminds me of a lot of crap that went on in the National Forest next door to where I lived in Southern California. I had everything from morons from Watts catching and eating bluejays to lawyers hunting squirrels with fully automatic AK-47s.

There's an old idea that demons are actually the spirits of animals that we humans have tortured and killed. I think it has some merit...
2003-06-01 10:42:45 PM  
Could someone explain to me WTF cooter turtles are? Orange County is Orlando, do any Orlando farkers know what a cooter turtles are? Anyone?
2003-06-01 10:43:20 PM  
Uh, I'm Seymour Butts Jr.
2003-06-01 10:43:22 PM  
Bellefromhell , are you the brunette that always seems to know when I need to do a load of clothes and manages to get in there 5 minutes before I do?
2003-06-01 10:45:45 PM  
unrelated-but does fark have a policy of not posting some rotten daily stories on occasions? surely they all get linked/posted in this cess pool.
2003-06-01 10:45:51 PM  
I found them:

At least they're not endangered. And you can use Paypal to but them with...
2003-06-01 10:46:17 PM  
Lt. Eason "shot a dog from 12 inches" and now they are looking for it to test for rabies. Only in Fla. could an officer shoot from ONE FOOT AWAY and apparently miss!
Hey Brewski, where are yOou?
2003-06-01 10:47:39 PM  
This is a cooter.
[image from too old to be available]
2003-06-01 10:47:48 PM  
i cant wait to eat that turtle...
2003-06-01 10:47:58 PM  
GIS for "cooter turtle"
2003-06-01 10:50:09 PM  
Hey ScubaDoo! Yes, I do list my location as "laundry room," and I AM brunette, but we are not in the same state! Sorry!
Go say hi to her next time and report back!
2003-06-01 10:50:37 PM  
GIS for "cooter turtle"

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

2nd try
2003-06-01 10:51:11 PM  
I really want to vote for you, but alas...

He saw a turtle
2003-06-01 10:51:12 PM  
06-01-03 10:41:06 PM Wldncrzy14


Good to know that I'm not the only farker who's seen the show
2003-06-01 10:53:12 PM  
"On May 18, Officer Dack responded to a call for assistance from Flagler Beach Police Officer Tim Sturman. Officer Sturman witnessed a man attempting to cut off the head of a 5-foot alligator lying on the beach."
2003-06-01 10:53:20 PM  
Drat...While the gal is quite cute , her annoying habit of being there before me , DAY OR NIGHT , is begining to chap my arse.

Glad it wasn't you , then. Please forgive my OT commentary on this otherwise facinating thread.
2003-06-01 10:53:41 PM  
actually, i had to restart my computer, deadaim has a nice memory wait, that was 98SE...don't worry, bellefromhell, i'm not going anywhere, where would i go? fark's my
2003-06-01 10:57:16 PM  
Yeah, I know... what did Cooter ever do to me...
[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available]
Too lazy to photoshop.
2003-06-01 10:58:30 PM  
Yea! Fark IS addictive- how else would we get such hard-hitting news and cutting-edge information? Like, for example, now I know the way to "put a gator out of misery" is NOT to cut off its head! I would call Lt. Eason and have him TRY to shoot it from ONE FOOT AWAY!!!!
2003-06-01 10:58:35 PM  
06-01-03 08:59:22 PM EthanHunt

My question is...Whats a pit pull?

According to the infinite wisdom that is GIS, this is a pit pull:
[image from too old to be available]

Hm. Kinda hard to make a joke for. Oh well.
2003-06-01 11:01:15 PM  
Was Cooter the one that always said "gunh goonh geeuonh" or something like that? Or was the Enus? What was the name of the cop that Daisy flirted with?
2003-06-01 11:03:03 PM  
maybe i should read the article so i know WTF you are talking about, belle, though it sounds funny nonetheless.
2003-06-01 11:04:18 PM  
I have lived in Florida most of my life and grew up in South Florida not far from the everglades. The folks who live waayy out in the boonies are an odd lot. Dyed in the wool card carrying KKK members who distrust all yankees, forgieners, goverment agents, and anyone from Miami. Cooter is a slang term for turtle, which they seem to eat fried or stewed. YUMMY. They also like to go "Gigging" on thier airboats which involves a long pole with a barbed spear they jam into any frogs nearby and fry up in hot oil. MMMM MMM. All thats missing is the dueling banjo and guitar.
2003-06-01 11:05:59 PM  
Drat...While the gal is quite cute , her annoying habit of being there before me , DAY OR NIGHT , is begining to chap my arse.

maybe she just hangs out there waiting for you to talk to her

I too want to know what a pit pull is.
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