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(Yahoo)   "Lord of the Rings" musical planned. One song and dance to rule them all   ( divider line
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3368 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2003 at 4:36 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

59 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-05-28 04:38:32 PM  
Broadway is out of ideas?
2003-05-28 04:38:38 PM  
There can only be one Lord of The Dance
2003-05-28 04:41:21 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-28 04:41:52 PM  
I hope they didn't call it "The Ring," because I don't want to die one week later.
2003-05-28 04:42:01 PM  
this bandwagon is getting mighty crowded.
2003-05-28 04:42:12 PM  
shoot me in the farking head, please
2003-05-28 04:42:34 PM  
Yeah they already sort of did that, it was roto-scoped, and it was terrible.

Frodo of the nine fingers, jeez talk about giving away the plot in the first five minutes of the movie.
2003-05-28 04:43:34 PM  
This will suck really bad, my precioussssss.
2003-05-28 04:44:24 PM  
Wow.. Instead of the intro like they did in the movie they could just get Leonord Nimoy to sing the Balad of Bilbo..

Wow.. This is gonna suck..
2003-05-28 04:44:35 PM  
if it's made by the same people who do the hobbit rap, i'm there.
2003-05-28 04:45:08 PM  
Great, as if there wasn't enough Sam-Frodo gay fanfic out there already...
2003-05-28 04:45:08 PM  
Staring Michael Flatley as "Gandolf The Gay"...
2003-05-28 04:45:46 PM  
Will the soundtrack be full of classic heavy metal like "Ramble on?"
2003-05-28 04:46:16 PM  
sentient: shut up, i love the sam-frodo gay fanfic!

anyhow... for those who are unfamiliar with the awesomeness of Quickbeam and Bombadil: THE LORDS OF THE RHYMES
2003-05-28 04:48:34 PM  
Avril Lavigne can do the score...
2003-05-28 04:48:40 PM  
Will the soundtrack be full of classic heavy metal like "Ramble on?"

No, but I sense Liv Tyler's musical career using this as a launching-point.
2003-05-28 04:48:45 PM  
Already seen this at the local theater... it was "interesting", but not interesting enough to see ever again *shivers*
2003-05-28 04:50:18 PM  
"Kill the Hobbit" sung to the tune of "Kill the Wabbit"
2003-05-28 04:53:01 PM  
In case anyone was curious to see Leonard Nimoy singing the ballad of Bilbo Baggins, brace yourself and then click here...

(you need to have Quicktime, and a weak gag reflex)
2003-05-28 04:54:16 PM  
Ok, I can understand theater, to a degree... It's an old artform, etc, etc.

Then why the hell are these jackasses making new ones!?

Why can't they perform MacBeth, and die when the theater colapses, like everyone else?
2003-05-28 04:54:26 PM  
The Battle Of Helms Deep...with Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick?? Um, no.
2003-05-28 04:59:09 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-28 05:00:02 PM  
Are you mad?

It's Hippie Chicks, Leeonard Nimy, singing about a Hobbit. That's the greatest farking thing ever!
2003-05-28 05:05:24 PM  
My first reaction on reading the headline: Gag.
My reaction to reading the story: Get real people.
I can just imagine the songs and poems in Tolkien's books being put to cheesy music while a bunch of second string actors and actresses butcher classic line after classic line. NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS.
2003-05-28 05:07:55 PM  
Midgets singing and dancing on Broadway... throw in some monkeys and they have a classic waiting to happen.
2003-05-28 05:15:27 PM  
2003-05-28 05:16:21 PM  
"It will stimulate audiences' imaginations in a way they've never felt before," he told Reuters.

I can see it now....

"My eyes!!! My ears ohh the burning, the bleeding!!!"
2003-05-28 05:20:34 PM  
I work in theatre. This shiat is killing my field.
2003-05-28 05:20:37 PM  
Great headline. I'm still laughing.

One song and dance to rule them all.


I could see some gay broadway guy in silver saying something like that to his underlings:

"Soon my fabulous underlings, soon. We will complete the one song and dance to rule them all. Mwa ha ha."

Think professor chaos.
2003-05-28 05:27:22 PM  
"Kill the Hobbit" sung to the tune of "Kill the Wabbit"

*disolves into a fit of giggles* oh. the mental image of looney toones characters performing Lord Of The Rings is nearly too much to handle.
2003-05-28 05:28:36 PM  
Now I'm sorta glad I didn't see the movies- actually I'm happy I still have my own mental images of what everyone
looks like. time to go buy the trilogy in paperback again-
I wore the first set out over about ten years.
2003-05-28 05:42:23 PM  
As if I didn't have enough reasons to stay away from theater, on top of being broke and unemployed, of course.
2003-05-28 05:44:42 PM  
Return of the King will own this christmas...
2003-05-28 05:45:42 PM  
Just another bad hobbit that theater will have to kick eventually.
2003-05-28 05:47:21 PM  
Well most of the book(s) are singing and poetry. Peter Jackson decided to cut those out because it would destroy the continuity/make the movie ungodly long.

Personally I thought all the singing dragged down the pace of the books, so a musical probably isn't going to be all that great either.
2003-05-28 05:48:14 PM  
Perhaps they'll do it in the spirit of Sifl and Olly doing their tribute to Star Wars as an off-Broadway production.

"Hello! I'm BYOB Kenobi, and this is my companion, R2-Bacca"
2003-05-28 05:52:06 PM  
They need to make a Tales of the l337 version of LOTR, like they did with Hamlet and Romeo & Juliet
2003-05-28 06:10:22 PM  
Nathan Lane to play Frodo.

Mandy Patinkin will be likely win a Tony for his portrayal of Golum/Smeagol. I hear Holly Parton wrote Gollum's love balled, "My Precious"
2003-05-28 06:10:47 PM  
I'll be happy as long as the theme song is Science Fiction Double Feature. Not because I can see any parallel to the subject matter, just because it's the greatest song in the history of great songs.
2003-05-28 06:17:57 PM  
Roger and Hammerstein's Lord of the Rings

"One ring,
I have only but
one ring.
One ring, to rule
the whole woooorld."
2003-05-28 06:18:46 PM  
Holly = Dolly.

2003-05-28 06:23:05 PM  
This turd will close on broadway after a single show.
2003-05-28 06:26:55 PM  
05-28-03 05:47:21 PM CapnKRUNCH

Well most of the book(s) are singing and poetry. Peter Jackson decided to cut those out because it would destroy the continuity/make the movie ungodly long.

Yeah, but if you listen close, you can year Gandalf fainting singing "The Road Goes Ever On and On" when he is riding through Shire. That made me smile.
2003-05-28 06:39:07 PM  
Michael Flatley.
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-28 06:47:36 PM  
This is actually not the craziest Broadway idea ever. When I was a kid, I distinctly remember there was plans for a Conan the Barbarian stage production based on the Shwarzenegger movie! They even went so far as to begin rehearsals, but thankfully, somebody finally realized that maybe it wasn't such a swell idea and pulled the plug on it.
2003-05-28 07:19:27 PM  
I hope they get the dimensions correct. It'd be tragic if the hobbits accidently trampled Isengard.
2003-05-28 07:20:10 PM  
I am the Lord of the Dance! fark Michael Flatley, it's me! The lord of the dance. The fuhrer of the dance. The meister of the dance. What the fark... What does that make Patrick Swayze, the president of the dance, Michael? Lord of the Dance... Who has the balls these days to call themselves the lord of anything, huh? Come on. Last time someone called himself lord on this planet, he was crucified, Michael, okay? And we know where the hammer and the nails are. We can put you up in a couple of minutes. Have you seen that show? If you have, get out! Get the hell out of my show right now! If you've seen that show or own that video tape, leave right now! Have you seen the ads for this show, with him dancing out there with his little flat stomach, and his faggy little bullfighting jacket on, and his Jacky Stallone headband, and his pirate shirt flowing in the wind? Come on. Folks, I'm Irish, okay? You've seen us dance at weddings, we don't dance like that. We dance like this [I guess you'd have to watch the show, which I haven't]. "farking kick your ass, man!" "Turn up the bass!" Except for the sober Irish guys, they're over in the corner dancing like this. That's the way I dance, actually, in real life. How sad is THAT? Lord of the dance! You wanna do that show the right way? Get some big, fat, beer-bellied Irish guys out there in those bullfighting jackets. Let 'em dance and drink and punch their relatives at the same time. "What happened to your nose, it's broken?" "Oh, I was at my cousin's wedding last night. Yep, beat up my mom. I love her, she loves me."

Second Book of Leary 1:1-12
2003-05-28 07:41:11 PM  
I can't think of a more horrible waste of time. People will go see it... to make fun of it. It's like the "Big Fat Greek Life". Everyone will go see it opening night, it'll get good ticket sales, and they will think it should stay in the theatre for another year. They'll lose money. End of story.
2003-05-28 08:02:22 PM  
nerd alert
2003-05-28 08:08:44 PM  
what a farking bad idea.
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