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(   The average desk is home to 400 times more bacteria than the average toilet seat   ( divider line
    More: Ironic  
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6166 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 May 2003 at 11:46 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-05-26 11:24:31 AM  
What if my toilet seat IS my desk?

2003-05-26 11:43:12 AM  
Don't lick either one.

2003-05-26 11:43:56 AM  
I don't care if it's got no bacteria, I'm never eating off of a toilet seat
2003-05-26 11:49:53 AM  
*starts typing with a pencil*
2003-05-26 11:51:17 AM  
This toilet seat thing always comes up. Why the fark would there be bacteria on the toilet seat?? It gets cleaned more often and with stronger stuff than anything else in the house. Poo is sterile or near as dammit, why would it have extra bacteria.

People think of toilet seats as dirty, but they aren't at all.
2003-05-26 11:51:22 AM  
Well, my desk may be riddled with bacteria, but it's certainly uncontaminated by work.
2003-05-26 11:51:49 AM  
I havent cleaned my keyboard for the last...hmm... 7 or 8 years... AND DAMN PROUD OF IT
2003-05-26 11:51:56 AM  
YOu, it might just have something to do with the massive difference in SURFACE AREA
2003-05-26 11:52:03 AM  
I gotta stop masturbating at my computer.
2003-05-26 11:52:12 AM  
My desk at work is more like 1000 times as bad. Been there for a year and a half and have NEVER cleaned it. Even after dropping food all over it. My keyboard is currently home to uncounted hundreds of poppy seeds from my breakfast sandwichs too.
2003-05-26 11:53:38 AM  

"Don't lick either one."

Don't lick me either, I'm crawling with bacteria ...
2003-05-26 11:54:14 AM  
And that's before they take into account all the people who had sex on it.
FNG [TotalFark]
2003-05-26 11:54:27 AM  
pete and repeat were sittin on a fence
2003-05-26 11:54:42 AM  
right, no more entertaining my secretary to "lunch" on my desk...damned unclean women spreading their cooties everywhere
2003-05-26 11:56:00 AM  
Anybody ever look inside your keyboard?

2003-05-26 11:56:28 AM  
What about entertaining the cleaning lady?? would that be OK?

2003-05-26 11:57:05 AM  
I'd still rather sit on a toilet seat than hover over one of the europeans things.. aiming pee is hard enough..could you imagine?

/sorry if you were eating for that rather unsightly visual
2003-05-26 11:57:07 AM  
Wastedyouth, poo is NOT sterile. Pee is though. Personally I avoid touching both.
2003-05-26 11:57:46 AM  
fortunately, I eat off of a PLATE!
I will, however, probably stop typing with my tongue.
2003-05-26 11:57:52 AM  
I guess its from all the nut scratching i do while early-morning farking
2003-05-26 11:58:28 AM  
I hate to see the average mouse and keyboard. or the area right underneath them.
2003-05-26 11:59:09 AM  
If you think poo is sterile I dare you to eat your own.
2003-05-26 12:00:45 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-26 12:01:30 PM  
Cecil Adams always has the straight dope. Doesn't address the keyboard issue,though,but close.

Straight Dope
2003-05-26 12:02:15 PM  
heyyyyy, that could work CanuckGuy....I mean, if anyone can disinfect hereslef before hand, it's got to be her! Wooohoooo, more working lunches with your cleaning ladies!

/day saved
2003-05-26 12:02:21 PM  
If you think poo is sterile I dare you to eat your own.

That reminds me, how can dogs' mouths be a 10 times more sterile than ours (as "they" say) if they spend half the day licking their crotch and eating their own poo?

It just doesn't make sense.
2003-05-26 12:03:04 PM  

I've sprayed myself wityh Lysol on numerous occasions, but I still can't kill all the bacteria ... I was able to slow down the crabs though.


"Don't lick either one."

Don't lick me either, I'm crawling with bacteria ...
2003-05-26 12:06:09 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Pooh is sterile?
2003-05-26 12:06:46 PM  
Speaking of such, anyone know what the deal is with that line on your choad? What is it for?
2003-05-26 12:06:52 PM  
aawwwww man does this mean i have to treat my keyboard with calamine lotion too?

/has poision ivy rash.
2003-05-26 12:08:26 PM  

day 17.

the lysol spray is getting low, the germs move closer, ever closer, i huddle in the corner, they come from all around, this is the end.
2003-05-26 12:09:09 PM  
Poo is very unsterile -- it is loaded with nasty bacteria and other bad things. It is how diseases like hepatitis and trichinosis get spread. People with tape worms and other parasites in their stomachs may pass on the eggs through their feces; if these are ingested (e.g., because the person is preparing food and didn't clean his or her hands properly) then the eggs can actually get into the brain causing horrible problems. The list goes on and on.

The moral of the story is to be careful with poo.
2003-05-26 12:11:00 PM  
Should I feel better that I happened to pick today to wipe down my desk with rubbing alcohol and washed my hands about 6 times so far?
2003-05-26 12:11:11 PM  
Is this really the only link they could post?? I mean come on.. how dumb. Most people take hard core cleaning agents to their toilet on a regular basis.. how many do it to their work desks??

I would today...but... I don't have to be to work today.. woohoo
2003-05-26 12:11:16 PM  
yeah and for all you one-handed websurfers out there, your desks (and keyboards) have infinity billion times more bacteria then the normal desk.... you know what i mean.
2003-05-26 12:11:32 PM  
Well my lab desk is absolutely imaculate, not a single speck of cookie remnant or any coffee stains or piles of reports and journal articles scattered everywhere.

Everything in that above paragraph is a lie.
2003-05-26 12:12:10 PM  
Only passingly related (see comments on relative sterility of mouths), the Komodo Dragon kills its prey by biting it. This lizard, however, has no venom glands. Its mouth is instead infested with so goddam much bacteria, that whatever it bites dies of infection.

The moral: Don't freedom-kiss any Komodo Dragons.
2003-05-26 12:12:14 PM  
I think another question here is not how many bacteria, but what kinds of bacteria.
2003-05-26 12:12:16 PM  
most bacteria aren't pathogenic. it doesn't matter how much bacteria there is but what type of bacteria there is. quality over quantity, people.
2003-05-26 12:15:07 PM  

If you think poo is sterile I dare you to eat your own.

or someone else's.
2003-05-26 12:15:52 PM  
Nice timing Xglitchx and Automaton
2003-05-26 12:17:59 PM  

Anybody can lick a Canadian!

/same old flamewar
2003-05-26 12:18:58 PM  
poo is not sterile. Bacteria help the digestion process.

pee is only as sterile as your bloodstream; however, as it a waste, it is a perfect petri dish once released all over your toilet seat.

Your desk not only has your accumulated fingerprints over the years, it is the dartboard for sneezes and the catchpan for dandruff out of your hair. A wonderful salad bowl full of tasty nutrients for little critters, such as mites, cockroaches, and the carnival of bacteria sure to follow.

Mom says clean your room.
2003-05-26 12:23:14 PM  
What if you

Poo + Pee + semen + eye sleet + ear wax + Mucus + saliva + vomit + sweat + blood + boogers.

I'm trying to think of other things I excrete on a regular basis. Then I will add vodka and give it to someone.
2003-05-26 12:24:19 PM  
The great thing about being a microbiologist is that you quickly learn to stop worrying about the germs. You can't get rid of them, so you might as well learn to enjoy them :)
2003-05-26 12:25:34 PM  
You want a clean toilet?

[image from too old to be available]

"I say we take off and nuke the entire site from's the only way to be sure..."
2003-05-26 12:26:42 PM  
PM DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke
Anybody can lick a Canadian!

Let me explain something here, just because we're currently crawling with bacteria, SARS, and Mad Cows doesn't mean you can kick us when we're down ... at least our dollar is worth less than yours. Oh, wait a minute ...
2003-05-26 12:26:46 PM  
And the moral of the story is - Don't pee on your desk. Or shiat on it either for that.
2003-05-26 12:33:03 PM  
One more reason for people to kiss my butt.
2003-05-26 12:33:43 PM  
Who the fark cares? Without being exposed to an environment iced with bacteria our immune systems would faulter... Kinda like kids who don't get exposed to different types of animals, dust, etc become hyper-allergic to these foreign substances.
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