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(London Times)   Hijacker's will demands no women attend his funeral, genitals not to be touched with bare hands   ( thetimes.co.uk) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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4414 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2001 at 12:00 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

45 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-10-04 12:09:07 AM  
what if we touch his genitals with a knife, and then fire?

is that ok?
2001-10-04 12:16:18 AM  
Evil said it all! Probably his problem was that no woman had EVER touched his tiny genitals! That and the fact his dad was also his uncle!
2001-10-04 12:27:08 AM  
I take it his wishes will be honored by having 100 menstrating woman defecate on his genitals? I mean assuming they can find any remains of this cocksucking bastard.
2001-10-04 12:42:07 AM  
if there is enough of this bastard left to cover with a pile of dog shiat, i've got 3 wanting to donate.
2001-10-04 12:47:02 AM  
Dead link
2001-10-04 12:59:46 AM  
What makes anyone think that any human being would attend his funeral little lone touch his dirty filthy genitals..YUK
2001-10-04 01:04:57 AM  
Somebody should chop off his wang and stick it in a bottle of juice
2001-10-04 01:07:55 AM  
He simply forgot to fill out his Necro Card. Please fill out yours today:

[image from users.igl.net too old to be available]
2001-10-04 01:11:24 AM  
Dead link.. Dead link..
But still, why write a will when you're going to be inside a missile crashing into a steel and concrete building? You think they're going to recover your intact genitals and have a service?
I guess they could have a service without.. But then again, I think the US is going to service all of your friends and countrymen now, so maybe your idea was flawed.
2001-10-04 01:17:33 AM  
[image from users.igl.net too old to be available]

Dude had a space, should have been a %20, must be a Micro$oft user.
2001-10-04 01:26:30 AM  
This link might work better:


Too bad he won't have a grave, or I'd get a bunch of women to go piss on it.
2001-10-04 01:30:07 AM  
guys hanging out in caves together,
not wanting women around,
talking about how to handle their genitals after death:
r a i n b o w
2001-10-04 01:38:43 AM  
I wonder what good 70 virgins are going to do them?
2001-10-04 01:42:26 AM  
if they find his body they should have a pregnant woman pee on it.
2001-10-04 01:45:25 AM  
Women must not be present at my funeral or go to my grave at any later date.

what if they are just walking by on their way to the grave of someone who's not a nut? good luck with that one. i guess he could have been buried in a country that bans women from attending cemetaries.

Those who wash my body must be good Muslims. And there should not be too many people, unless it is absolutely necessary.

uh... i wish this guy was alive so someone could ask him what his definition of "too many" is. how could there be too many people, but have it still be "absolutely necessary" to have them all? and how dirty did he expect his body to be?

Atta shied away from women during his eight years at Hamburg's Technical University, and his father, a wealthy Cairo lawyer, described him as a "mother's boy" who was reluctant even to shake hands with women. . . Many times I asked him to marry a woman of any nationality because he did not have a girlfriend like his colleagues.

i don't think i even need to comment on this one.
2001-10-04 01:47:50 AM  
May fanged she-devils gnaw on his dong for eternity.
2001-10-04 01:48:00 AM  
good point, nunchaku. if this guy does manage to get to heaven and gets his supply of virgins, i guarantee that they will be virgins for the rest of eternity. maybe not if his friends visit. of course, most of his visitors probably wouldn't be too interested either.
2001-10-04 01:56:31 AM  
They ought to dump what's left of those assholes in a big vat of pork fat, then feed them to some hungry dogs.
2001-10-04 01:57:59 AM  
By the way, I submitted this story yesterday. What gives?
2001-10-04 01:59:24 AM  
I think women should hold a memorial service for this guy.
2001-10-04 02:09:44 AM  
What can be said about such a twisted farking sandmonkey? He obviously had a very high opinion about his sad arsed self. And chose the cowards way out, suicide. It's more than strange that such 'fierce warriors for Allah' don't have the guts to face their perceived enemy. But their's is a religion that promotes such cowardice, e.g., suicide, oppression of women, rule by fear.

fark them, their families and anyone associated with them!!
2001-10-04 02:24:13 AM  
Total cowards. I would've been impressed had they pulled up in front of the Capitol, got out of their van and declared war on the U.S. and then attacked. They might not have made it all the way to the building, but at least they wouldn't be cowards.
2001-10-04 02:41:21 AM  
Yeah, he's already buried -- under a million tons of rubble, what's left of him, at least. Just hope the rescue dog who finds him is pregnant and has to pee really bad.
2001-10-04 03:04:06 AM  
I've got a great idea:

Let's have nobody go to his funeral.

Fark it. Let's just pretend he didn't exist, and do what Bush mentioned, wash their names from the history books.
2001-10-04 03:47:39 AM  
How would anyone be able to touch his balls? They are all ash now most likely.
2001-10-04 04:03:37 AM  
Barbecued balls anyone?
2001-10-04 06:07:22 AM  
Soak his farking ashes in pork fat and drop them into a barnyard for chickens to eat.
2001-10-04 07:43:29 AM  
Tonight on Fear Factor, contestants must eat boiled terrorist balls to advance to the final round, where they will slam their face into a brick wall while the host laughs at them.
2001-10-04 08:23:58 AM  
Talking about cowardice, how brave is it to fly billions of dollars worth of stealth aircraft over their third world country, and carpet bomb their cities?

It's been done before.
2001-10-04 08:35:22 AM  

Yeah, but it's shiat load of fun aint it.
2001-10-04 09:12:41 AM  
BobHolness: We will NOT launch $1M missles to destroy $10 tents and give camels enimas!!! PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!
2001-10-04 09:15:48 AM  
The will was written in 1996. I doubt he had any idea at the time that he's be incinerated, and thus, not have to worry about who touched his tic-tac of love.
2001-10-04 09:32:29 AM  

Do me a big favor and go die for your country like a brave little boy.
2001-10-04 10:14:33 AM  
Pus sucking wad of hemhorodal discharge was probably a closet queen.
2001-10-04 10:19:25 AM  
"No one should cry for me, scream or tear his clothes and beat his face - those are foolish gestures."

Yeah, I'll try and hold back...DICK!
2001-10-04 10:45:44 AM  
It seems to me like they're all a part of the world's largest cult. And few hundred years behind on the evolution curve.
2001-10-04 11:56:13 AM  
given that this guys grave is New York City, plenny women gonna see his funeral...
2001-10-04 11:58:43 AM  
the guy was a fudge packer, any way you look at it...
2001-10-04 02:01:06 PM  
I think he was afraid of becoming a cult figure, somebody would remove his testicles as a holy relic.

Allah forfend!
2001-10-04 02:15:30 PM  
Donate the body to a bunch of necrophobic camel jockeys.
2001-10-04 03:03:14 PM  
It just goes to show what a lack of trim can do to the brain.
2001-10-04 03:06:10 PM  
It seams to me the fundies got to him because he was so ashamed of being a flamer. I guess in his paradise the virgens ar all little boys.
2001-10-04 03:36:16 PM  
I wonder how he feels now that he's buried along with thousands of women, i'm sure some of them were pregnant. not to mention having his precious genitals being burned, scortched and scattered on the street mixed in with the ashes of "dirty" people. Dumbarse. Hope he doesn't mind "too many people" being at his funeral, is over 6,000 enough for ya? is that "necessary" enough for ya??
2001-10-04 04:18:42 PM  
I know we've been told that thinking this way is wrong, but fark it...I'm not at all impressed with this "Allah" fella. His followers have some really strange habits. I don't like any religion. God is God, end of story. No human or book or anything else can carry his words. Worried about someone touching his balls? LOL....LOL
2001-10-04 10:03:34 PM  
What ever happened to all those silly Ate My Balls sites? Where are they when they could do some actual good? May pigs, hogs, wild boars, etc gnaw on his thang (and eat his balls) for all eternity!
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