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(TPC)   Mold, not penis, found in fruit punch   ( divider line
    More: Sick  
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5357 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2001 at 12:00 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

44 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-10-04 12:07:12 AM  
2001-10-04 12:17:40 AM  
Uhh, some reporter must have cut and pasted from the first story and forgot to change the wording. It goes from saying it wasn't a body part to "the company vice president is convinced that the body part was put into the bottle after it was shipped to Colorado..."
2001-10-04 12:21:36 AM  
I don't know about you guys, but I have NEVER in my farking life seen mold that looks like a penis, maybe a pussy (the hairy bit), but not a farking penis. I am sorry, but that looks way to much like a penis. How in the name of god can that not be a penis? Don't tell me, it is a rare penis shaped mold right?
2001-10-04 12:25:08 AM  
Oh my god. All these years I've been spanking a lump of mould.

2001-10-04 12:25:33 AM  
at least it wasn't a moldy penis.

mmmm.... moldy penis... yum
2001-10-04 12:27:45 AM  
OK, so it's not a penis, but it's still farking disgusting... and why was the bottle of punch over a year old? A bottled beverage with no preservatives over a year old? shiat, why would you drink that shiat? Don't you check the expiration dates? Goddamn. That's sick.
2001-10-04 12:46:59 AM  
I think that they're trying to say that someone perhaps molded a penis out of god-knows-what and placed it in the container and put it back on the shelf, presumably, as a dirty trick.

But there's still a chance that it's just a penis-shaped mold that grew in the bottle....after all, the production date was more than a year ago, and there aren't any preservatives in the drink.
2001-10-04 12:50:55 AM  
I get shrooms in my back yard that are more dick like than that thing, but it is still nasty.
2001-10-04 12:55:06 AM  
was this it?
[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-04 12:55:58 AM  
It's been said, but I'll say it again. Damn, that looks like a penis!

(and yes, I am aware that I am a master of the obvious)
2001-10-04 12:58:02 AM  
Perhaps they molded it out of Spam?

[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-04 01:00:21 AM  
THIS HAPPENED TO ME TOO. I swear. I thought it was semen and tropicana told it was mold.
2001-10-04 01:11:17 AM  

2001-10-04 01:12:52 AM  
"They are then vusially inspected by at least eight people."

Did he actually say "vusially"? It is a quote and all...
2001-10-04 05:12:52 AM  
Dammit, they're replacing the penis in my Ora Potency Fruit Punch with mold now? I'm not drinkin' it anymore.
2001-10-04 05:59:51 AM  
Is this just a cock n' red bull story?
2001-10-04 06:20:51 AM  
I apologise for this breakdown in humour. Normal service will be resumed as soon as I grasp a sense of irony.
2001-10-04 07:44:22 AM  
I'm not sure which is worse.
2001-10-04 07:54:46 AM  
(Slap) I could of had a V8.
2001-10-04 08:05:12 AM  
Nothing to ruin your appetite for breakfast like a shriveled penis.
Last time I Fark first thing in the morning.
2001-10-04 08:12:30 AM  
May this article bring much hap...PENIS.
2001-10-04 09:08:22 AM  
The guy drank the whole damn thing before he noticed that there was a three inch length of tube steak (what he thought)? Someone needs to pay more attention to what goes in their mouths.
2001-10-04 09:54:44 AM  
That guy deserves to get a moldy drink then....over a year old date on it and nothing preserve the drink to begin with? NASTY!!

I must go puke my soul out now...oh man!
2001-10-04 09:58:18 AM  
WHAT ?!?! NO penis in the fruit punch anymore!! I DEMAND a refund on the case I bought last week!!!
2001-10-04 10:13:45 AM wasn't a penis in my fruit punch. It was only a 3-inch piece of mol......RETCH!!!!!!!!
2001-10-04 10:24:55 AM  
I thinking of a new tag line for their product,
"The fruit drink you eat with a spoon."
2001-10-04 10:32:48 AM  
This punch has got a little wang to it....
2001-10-04 10:39:03 AM  
Damn! And I was having so much fun with jokes like "This gives a whole new meaning to 'cocktail weiner'" and "Is that a penis in your fruit drink, or are you just happy to see me?"
2001-10-04 11:11:59 AM  
No one's mentioned the great possibilities of combining tags that should go in this thread. Namely the Sick tag and the Follow Up tag. Lotsa fun.
2001-10-04 11:31:10 AM  
I used to get sodas from there. You get a crate of sodas in glass bottles, and when you are done drinking them, you return the bottles and they wash them out and reuse them. For some reason, I can't stop shuddering.
2001-10-04 11:43:57 AM  
Anyone else notice how their was a lot of spelling mistakes in that article?
2001-10-04 11:48:25 AM  
Its life Jim, but not as we know it.

(for all the Trekkie Farkers out there)
2001-10-04 12:00:42 PM  
Try Ora's latest creation, "Testicola"! It's cola with a kick.
2001-10-04 12:57:12 PM  
"It's unbelievable. I'm convinced 100 percent the bottle wasn't tampered with here or at any other bottling company.

"There's no way it could have entered the bottle. Bottles here are rinsed and washed upside down.

"Any contaminants would have fallen out. They are then vusially inspected by at least eight people."

Yeah, it was friggin magic, man. Or I guess it really didn't happen at all.
2001-10-04 12:58:09 PM  
You know there's some pimply-faced kid wearing a Safeway apron laughing his ASS off right now.
2001-10-04 02:04:47 PM  
nonetheless, from now on, pour everything in a glass
2001-10-04 02:12:25 PM  
Oh well. I still think a penis in a potency drink is a brilliant idea. Here's a copy of the original police report:

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]
2001-10-04 02:15:57 PM  
I'd hate to see the piece of mold that penis fell off of.
2001-10-04 04:19:35 PM  
what made him think it was a 3" *human* penis??
i guess it must look like his

2001-10-04 04:33:38 PM  
boy, i bet that guy is relieved to find that it was only a chunk of mold, not a penis
2001-10-04 07:24:52 PM  
Dude, I'm just really happy that we don't have Ora drinks in South Carolina. Still, I think I'll eschew fruit drinks for a little while, in favor of Coke or Pepsi.
2001-10-04 07:49:17 PM  
2001-10-04 08:16:32 PM  
looks like a dick to me
2001-10-04 09:29:10 PM  
Did anyone else notice that it says that the "discoverer" is pictured at left and it has an image of the penis fungus? If that's the case...hmm. "Fungal penis complains about fungal penis in fruit drink"?
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