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(Carson)   Christina Aguilera gets a full beating with the ugly stick   ( divider line
    More: Sad  
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219655 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2003 at 5:39 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

411 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-29 06:39:28 PM  
Okay, she's not fat. But she certainly can't wear any of her whore outfits anymore. Rather, she shouldn't. Which is probably a good thing.

Hopefully she'll take an overdose of diet pills and we'll be searching for pictures of her corpse on ogrish.

I will, anyway.
2003-04-29 06:39:36 PM  
Let me clarify.... I don't mind a girl that eats. Hell, someone who hasn't had anything but 3 hard boiled egg whites and a banana since breakfast just will not be that pleasant to be around.

That being said, I never did find that face (or that watermelon sized head) of hers to be attractive, but that is a personal opinion. I don't find 70% of the supermodels out there to be attractive. I'm more the Valerie Bertinelli, Leah Remini type. Yes, seriously. Maybe it was because I went through puberty when One Day At A Time was on, and McKenzie Phillips looked like my cousin, (so that would never fly) but that what has followed me to adulthood.

Keep your ultra skinny blue eyed blonde haired bimbettes. Give me a cute woman who knows how to cook.

God, that sounds horrible, but it's the way I feel, dammit.
2003-04-29 06:40:32 PM  
Just because you couldn't get into bed with her, don't call her a slut. She's not fat. If she dropped the makeup and got clothes that fit her, she'd be gorgeous.
2003-04-29 06:41:12 PM  
Um, four out of focus and low quality pictures are supposed to tell us that a formerly dead-sexy and quite thin pop star is about to drop dead of a McDonald's-induced heart attack? Sorry, I'm not that gullible.

Yeah, she doesn't look great in those pictures, but it's probably just a new look she was trying out (note the black hair) that isn't that great to look at. She'll be back to normal in a few weeks, once the cookie-cutter producers of all the pop stars realize that it's not working for her.
2003-04-29 06:42:24 PM  
Xj14y, don't worry, there's an easy explanation for all of that.

You're a homosexual.

/Professional Outer
2003-04-29 06:42:54 PM  
Now all the farkettes love you
2003-04-29 06:43:38 PM  
ugh.. eyes bleeding... better stop the earth for that one dude who posted.. because in that pic she's ugly..
2003-04-29 06:43:47 PM  
she looks just like Matt Bellamy from Muse only with 10 kilograms more on her.. O_o odd.
2003-04-29 06:43:51 PM  
those look more like photoshops to me
2003-04-29 06:43:52 PM  
I'd hit it just to say I'd hit it (I mean, come on...), but I'd probably have to hit it with someone else's stolen dick.
2003-04-29 06:44:51 PM  
the prepubecent peanut gallery is the mosty vocal here... grow some short and curlies fisrt and then we can talk about what you would or wouldn't hit.....


i will agree, what happend to the shape of her head?? looks like one of those busts of some inbred pharoh ....
hey buddy, why the long face???
2003-04-29 06:45:21 PM  
Elite-mrp: Lick my left one, you tick turd. (combining 2 great movie insults)


AcidPink: You'd have to ask my wife first.... But if she says it's cool, then I'm up for it.
2003-04-29 06:46:45 PM  
Hmm, human, breathing, female. Yup, I'd hit it.
2003-04-29 06:47:15 PM  
Xj14y, I'm only playing. You didn't have to call me a turd :(
2003-04-29 06:48:33 PM  
[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]
2003-04-29 06:49:25 PM  
Photographers snap tons of pictures of a celebrity. It's not hard to pick four that at bad angles make her look like a demon. I'm sure if you take a bunch of stills of say...Jennifer Aniston during an episode of Friends, in at least three she'd look like an ogre.

Besides, I'd still hit it before I'd hit Britney.
2003-04-29 06:49:33 PM  

Be careful who you play with. Apology accepted. If it happens again, I'll bend your teeth.

All in fun, of course...
2003-04-29 06:54:35 PM  
Elite-mrp: A farker who apologizes???

Sure looks like she's pregnant to me. Perhaps ?
2003-04-29 06:57:21 PM  
I'd still hit it, a little cushin' for the pushin' never scared me off.

/sweep kittens into trash
2003-04-29 06:57:40 PM  
She lost the excessive makeup, the tan and went brunette.

If she didn't get publicised, it would be a good disguise for going out in public.

check out

Plenty of others out there if you look around

2003-04-29 06:58:09 PM  
The filter gets rid of F b is the father now? Why?
2003-04-29 07:01:21 PM  
Apparently, the filter got rid of Fark as we know it...
2003-04-29 07:01:42 PM  
Guess what: She doesn't give a fark what you think.
2003-04-29 07:01:45 PM  
And more pictures of her looking frumpy.
2003-04-29 07:03:53 PM  
Although she has gained some weight, she was way damn too skinny before.... I'll be among those who say "I'd hit it"

plus, imagine her hittin those high notes in bed...yowza...
2003-04-29 07:06:16 PM  
I don't mind that she gained a few lbs... but God, she looks hideous now! Before, it was slutty, but you could imagine her not being so. Now she just looks...ugly.
She looks like she had plastic surgery to make her look worse.
2003-04-29 07:06:47 PM  
take it easy on the braiding Chistina....

Traction alopecia is hair loss due to excessive and chronic pulling, or traction, on hair. It commonly occurs in people who braid or knot their hair.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-29 07:07:45 PM  
Now all the guys who can only hit obese chicks can lay claim to her. Yeah you've been farking a fat assed girl that is 320 pounds, you'll fark anything.

Ouch! Gator8387
That hurt my feelings :-( Some guys prefer big gals, and while I'm not 320 lbs big, that was kinda mean!

/sweet chubby girl
2003-04-29 07:08:07 PM  
I like the original Christina. Not Dee Snyder wannabe...not man... original.
2003-04-29 07:08:43 PM  

I just spotted this. Kiana Tom without the makeup looks like Vanessa Carlton with makeup. Works for me...
2003-04-29 07:11:00 PM  
Ha! Code_Archeologist my fave position! :-P

/naughty girl
2003-04-29 07:11:03 PM  
I'm not sure why some folks are complaining about her "ugliness" more than her "music". you listen to music. You don't have to look at it. She looks to be under 140 lbs. -- not fat, that's solidly average for her age group. Crowbar your eyes away from whatever heroin model you're staring at for a second and come back to reality. I don't think she's ugly, but media retouching and professional hair/makeup jobs make her look better than she is.

That said, her music was hit by the ugly stick at birth.
2003-04-29 07:11:06 PM  
At least now she looks like a tubby vampire instead of a strung-out junkie hoebag
2003-04-29 07:15:28 PM  

Haha! Tubby Vampire!

To quote Dave Barry "That would make a great band name"
2003-04-29 07:16:35 PM  
Im not so sure these pics are real, maybe her face is so much darker because someone photoshoped it.
2003-04-29 07:17:37 PM  
She looks to be under 140 lbs. -- not fat, that's solidly average for her age group.

5'2" / 140lbs. isn't average

At least now she looks like a tubby vampire instead of a strung-out junkie hoebag


so we're all agreed: she needs to fire her personal stylist
2003-04-29 07:17:55 PM  
I still find her sexy and I'd hit it. As for the pretentious flakes with the edacity to ridicule this girl, Move On And Get Over It.

/let the flame war finish
2003-04-29 07:18:07 PM  
Phatix is my new hero. That is all.
2003-04-29 07:20:05 PM  
Kinda has that "miss piggy" look going in the pink outfit. Never thought much of her looks but girl can sing.
2003-04-29 07:20:25 PM  
5'2" / 140lbs. isn't average

They said UNDER 140 lbs. And 5'4"/142 lbs is average. Close enough.
2003-04-29 07:22:05 PM  
2003-04-29 07:23:04 PM  
1. She gained weight.
2. She's not fat yet, but diva clothing now makes her look fat.
3. Her music still sucks.
2003-04-29 07:24:26 PM  
You know what I think she did? I think she fell out of the ugly tree, and hit all the ugly branches on the ugly way down! HAW HAW! UGLY!

D'you get it? Ugly...! Jesus farking Christ. That joke has not been funny for many years, yet it's repeated ad nauseum by people who apparently believe that it's still humourous and original.

OK, even though she now looks half-way normal, she still chooses to pile on layers of makeup thicker than the 'ugly tree' comedians, thus still managing to keep up appearances as the America's premier pop-skank.

Thing is, there's very few genuinely ugly people in the world. Personally, I don't find her particularly attractive, and I don't even need to mention her god-awful 'music', but she's certainly not ugly.
2003-04-29 07:25:11 PM  
So she's traded in the "quasilatino blonde hyperskank slut" look for the "Corner of Hollywood & Vine brunette disease-spattered hooker slut" look.

Big deal.
2003-04-29 07:25:23 PM  
LinaLagia: I'm not hispanic, but my arms and face are nicely tanned, and the rest of me is this pasty fish-belly white. the reason? Bright Sunshine and Ski Clothes...

are you sure the dark on her face isn't all that cakey
makeup? and MickeyD's Ketchup?
2003-04-29 07:26:39 PM  
Also, I have invented new rules of grammar. I suggest you follow them from now on. Ahem.
2003-04-29 07:29:31 PM  
Thank you, Logweasel...sometimes the obvious seems to escape people.

Who here hasn't seen some chick wearing "the latest fashions" while having a big jelly roll hanging over the edge of her pants? Anyone in collge or high school should recognize this phenomenon. It doesn't matter if you make a lot of money "singing" crappy songs, if you try to be a slave to fashion, you're going to look stupid.
2003-04-29 07:31:39 PM  
Yeah, the darker appearance of her face is from her makeup. Unless you tan, the skin of your face is naturally darker than the skin on your chest. It's easy to test this; find makeup that matches your face, put some under your collarbone, and it stands out. She just needs to use a lighter foundation.
2003-04-29 07:33:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-29 07:34:33 PM  

Dee Snider is my hero...

House of Hair every Friday night!!!!

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