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(Some Guy)   How to smoke in airplane lavatories   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

28208 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2003 at 12:43 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

155 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-29 03:13:14 PM  
Why do I need a group of queens with me?
2003-04-29 03:15:17 PM  
You need them, for some reason:
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-29 03:42:52 PM  
Oh man...Fart spray...

Spray a little of that on board an airplane, and you'd have at least half the crew & passengers yacking their guts out....

2003-04-29 03:52:24 PM  
too much work. Order two drinks everytime the stew comes around.
2003-04-29 03:56:37 PM  
WRF, do you need a gun to smoke in a airplane lavatory? I get blocked for this:

The Websense category "Weapons" is filtered.

URL:​nai16976 1. html

Oh wait, irresponsible activities......
2003-04-29 03:57:14 PM  
and WRF = WTF.
2003-04-29 04:39:10 PM  
Emits showers of sparks. Place on ground. Light fuse. Get away.
2003-04-29 04:45:45 PM  
I've found a dugout and a tightly packed tube of fabric softener works nicely.
2003-04-29 04:57:18 PM  
is it actually illegal to smoke on airplanes or just illegal to tamper with the smoke detector? sort of the way prohibition made the mnufacture, sale or transport of liquor against the law but not consumption?
2003-04-29 05:35:20 PM  
This is just in time. I'll be flying tomorrow, but I think I'l just wait to light up till we land. Too much work.
2003-04-29 05:46:10 PM  
you wouldnt even be able to get a can of fart spray onboard past security any more.

stale link.
2003-04-29 06:17:46 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-29 06:18:32 PM  
yikes big sorry - smoke break, bye
2003-04-29 06:26:31 PM  
Uh....That's okay...I think I can wait a few hours while on the plane. Sheesh. The limits some people will go to just to get a few cheap thrills. And won't all of that paraphenilia look might suspicious when they search your bag at the terminal gate.
2003-04-29 07:27:34 PM  
Well, the fags I can get but if we have to use the other stuff you can forget it.
2003-04-29 08:48:16 PM  
Or you could slap on a nicotene patch prior to your flight. That or nicotene gum. Much better and more compact than all of that shiat.

Yeah, I know I should quit smoking. Yadda yadda death. Life kills you.
2003-04-29 09:14:06 PM  
Is this really worth it?
2003-04-29 09:44:57 PM  
to go to this extreme sounds like something a meth addict would do to get high. if you went to all that trouble to smoke, wouldn;t it occur to you somewhere in the preparation, that you were a hopeless, pathetic junkie???

but i guess smokers are PROUD of that.
2003-04-30 12:45:32 AM  
wtf you guys are ripping off totse? go to hell.
2003-04-30 12:46:29 AM  
Duct tape and a gang of fags? I'm sorry. Cock smoking in an airplane is not my thing.
2003-04-30 12:49:45 AM  
Umm.. A better title for this article would be "How to get a nice F-16 escort on your next flight by using duct tape and a portable vacuum in the plane's crapper".
2003-04-30 12:50:18 AM  
Anyone else remember when &TOTSE was a BBS? Those were the days, man.
2003-04-30 12:50:59 AM  
A gang of fags WILL fit inside a lavatory, as long as you round up the bony ones that wear girls' petite and attend Madonna concerts.

2003-04-30 12:51:03 AM  
You see? This is why I stick to heroin!
2003-04-30 12:52:29 AM  
Now if only there was a guide for wanking in an airplane bathroom...
2003-04-30 12:53:34 AM  
Ok quick question... what does PSA Stand for... still in the dark
2003-04-30 12:57:34 AM  
2003-04-30 12:57:41 AM  
Public service announcement
2003-04-30 12:57:51 AM  
How To Wank in an Airplane Bathroom

Enter airplane bathroom. Lock door. Wank.
2003-04-30 12:58:01 AM  
2003-04-30 12:58:09 AM  
PSA = photoshop something awful
2003-04-30 01:00:42 AM  
Someone tried this on a recent Southwest flight I was on from Seattle to Kansas City (don't ask). We'd already started our descent, no more than half an hour out of MCI, when the comforting smell of smoke wafted through the 737's cabin.

When the plane landed, four cops amused themselves by trussing the fellow up in handcuffs, making him lie spreadeagled across the seats in the departure lounge in front of all and sundry. The bozo's day went downhill rapidly from there ("I know my rights! Either charge me, or let me go!") At the rate he was going by the time my connecting flight was ready to board, he probably talked himself all the way to Guantanamo Bay.

I'm continually astonished by the power of nicotine addiction, and what it does to otherwise-sane human beings. Are smokers so hopelessly bound to their drug of choice that they'll literally jeopardize their vacation, their personal freedom, and, hell, the nerves of a hundred passengers for a 30-minute head start on their next fix? The scene I witnessed belonged in Requiem for a Dream or Trainspotting, not the Kansas City Star's police blotter.
2003-04-30 01:02:40 AM  
2003-04-30 01:03:03 AM  
Thanks Flexo.

Rumble.... stop being gay
2003-04-30 01:03:03 AM  
He may have had tourettes, Camper_Bob, and was possibly worried about other passengers seeing his affliction.

The shakey shakes, not the fun the kind.
2003-04-30 01:05:13 AM  
Just inject nicotine directly into an artery while using the can, gather the concentrated residue from a well used ashtray, mix it with water, heat it with a common kithen match and spike up. It should get you last for a few hours or half an Ausie flight.
2003-04-30 01:07:08 AM  
Actually, Qburt, for the usual responses that question gets, I was overally polite.
2003-04-30 01:09:38 AM  
i wanked in a train bathroom once. it was awesome. A+ definitely.
2003-04-30 01:09:38 AM  
2003-04-30 01:11:25 AM  
Things wrong with this:

There is no way to get the smoke out of your hair and clothes short of a shower and a washing machine.
The only fart spray I've had the displeasure of smelling is more like cow shiat than fart.
A vacuum cleaner won't filter cigarette smoke.

People who smoke in bathrooms should be forced to inhale a whole can of fart spray.
2003-04-30 01:12:38 AM  
Back in the old days I used to smoke things in the plane lavatory. The sink drain is a vacuum. Push the drain button down to hold it open and just hold the butt down at the open drain and exhale down there too.
2003-04-30 01:13:24 AM  
When they crack down on in flight masterbation, thats when I turn in my frequent flyer miles. I should be writing for Bill Mahar by the way.
2003-04-30 01:13:26 AM  
Step 7: Spray fart spray directly into armpits, hair and eyes.
2003-04-30 01:14:08 AM  
When in Rome...


(aka "threadjack".)
2003-04-30 01:15:26 AM  
Pulling shiat on airplanes has got to be the stupidest activity ever concieved by man. It just isn't tolerated up there, and for what gain? Nothing can really make an airplane trip enjoyable.
2003-04-30 01:17:54 AM  
shiat on
2003-04-30 01:20:17 AM  
If you're that desperate to smoke, you have problems.
2003-04-30 01:21:33 AM  

If your so addicted to nicotine that you must smoke and can not wait a few hours for your flight to don't own cigarettes they own you.

Weakness. Sad.
2003-04-30 01:22:26 AM  
Are you really tampering with a smoke detector by not touching it? But the hardest part is still getting the weed on the plane.

MMMMM Brownies
2003-04-30 01:22:32 AM  
"And remember that a fine for tampering with the smoke detectors may be as much as $2000"

I like how they put that at the end heh
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