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(AZCentral)   National Enquirer apologizes for story that alleged Elizabeth Smart's relatives were running a gay-sex ring. Turns out they're just big Siegfried & Roy fans   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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6002 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2003 at 9:00 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

73 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-28 09:02:42 PM  
great headline
2003-04-28 09:03:30 PM  
But the gay-sex ring seemed just like them...
2003-04-28 09:03:59 PM  
what does sigfreid and roy have to do with being gay?
2003-04-28 09:04:49 PM  
exsept for the whole gay thing
2003-04-28 09:05:00 PM  
Does anyone know what happened with that Kentucky Derby Post?

And also, sigfried and roy having sex scares me.
2003-04-28 09:05:07 PM  
Retard asks:

what does sigfreid and roy have to do with being gay?
2003-04-28 09:05:31 PM  
The newspaper said its July 2 article was ''inaccurate and false''

Is there anything in the enquirer that isn't "Innacurate and false?"

That paper is full of so much fake shiat... I can't believe anyone spends money to read it.
2003-04-28 09:05:35 PM  
Don't think I'll see any Farkers taking back their Mormons are gay statements...
2003-04-28 09:06:29 PM  

2003-04-28 09:07:34 PM  
I don't get it. I've been forcibly cut off from all media sources for too long. What...they found that girl?
2003-04-28 09:10:00 PM  
NorthVentricle, yes. In YOUR closet!!
2003-04-28 09:10:10 PM  
Pretty funny headline!
2003-04-28 09:10:30 PM  
What is the National Enquirer? And who is Elizabeth Smart? Or even Siegfried & Roy? Or even this gay-sex thing? I am so lost. I need a computer talkie thing these people are talking about. I think they call it AOL or something. Can any of you computer talking people help me out?
2003-04-28 09:10:47 PM  
They found her weeks ago.
2003-04-28 09:11:57 PM  
ok. look at the ad on the left side. the one thay says "arizona is an indian word." what the FVCK is that a picture of? it looks like a guy wearing a garbage bag over his head with shock therapy pads all over his arms and chest. i'm very scared of arizona now.
2003-04-28 09:12:29 PM  
I think this would've been a better Elizabeth Smart story for the Inquirer to run:

Abducted Girl Feared Brainwashed by Cult
2003-04-28 09:12:39 PM  
What the hell is a gay sex ring, like a mantrain with both ends joined?

2003-04-28 09:17:28 PM  
Metaljimdeath: ok. look at the ad on the left side. the one thay says "arizona is an indian word." what the fark is that a picture of? it looks like a guy wearing a garbage bag over his head with shock therapy pads all over his arms and chest. i'm very scared of arizona now.

You mean this one?
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-28 09:18:34 PM  
Also while you are trying to answer my other questions, could you find me a webthingeee site that has lame sports coverage, and anorexic skanks with fake tits. I need that to make my life complete. I am so lost without this.
2003-04-28 09:20:21 PM  
anagrammer: yes. you know what it is? am i just looking at it wrong? btw, thanks for putting in a post. how'd you do that?
2003-04-28 09:22:18 PM  
This is great; i've been studying the defamation elements for my law school final exam on wednesday, and then i read this.

Arrrrr, Enquirer, prepare to be sued!
2003-04-28 09:24:17 PM  
that article is farking hilarious. It is right on the mark about that those stupid mormons and their stupid cult. Why dont they just go be the god of their own stinking planet and leave the rest of us the fark alone.

/ ridiculing mormon "religiuos" propaganda
2003-04-28 09:25:37 PM  
The very premise is hilarious. I might actually read this one
2003-04-28 09:26:01 PM  
Looks like some Indian guy with black hair and feathers and shiat stuck in his head facing away from whoever is taking the picture
2003-04-28 09:29:51 PM  
Thou sayest?
2003-04-28 09:33:09 PM  
farking mormons
2003-04-28 09:47:58 PM  
Can we laugh about this now that she's back home and safe?

/laughing anyway
2003-04-28 09:48:11 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-28 09:49:09 PM  
if they were running a gay ring, shouldn't they like rosie o'donnell?
2003-04-28 09:50:56 PM  
That is just screaming Photoshop contest...
2003-04-28 09:52:28 PM  
Isn't a gay sex ring?
wil [TotalFark]
2003-04-28 09:57:42 PM  
If I could find a freaking pair of queens on GIS, I'd put it here, make a S&R reference, and sit back to watch how many poker players are also farkers.
2003-04-28 09:57:51 PM  
"Welcome to Utah, land of creepy wholesomeness."
2003-04-28 09:59:22 PM  
And people worry about Fark running
img.fark.netView Full Size
2003-04-28 10:00:48 PM  
''Strictly speaking, talking to the National Enquirer or others of like ilk, in and of itself, is neither illegal nor unethical. Rather, it is akin to drinking water out of a toilet bowl -- dumb, distasteful and, when observed, embarrassing,''

Uh, the same could be said for buying it, reading it, or even acknowledging that it exists.

/humbly apologizes for staying on topic.
2003-04-28 10:02:19 PM  
Bring out the gimp.
2003-04-28 10:10:10 PM  
So, does this mean the story about the parents giving the kid away to settle a drug debt is false too?

You just can't trust anybody ... :)
2003-04-28 10:13:58 PM  
Wow a post with Wil posting in it and a bunch of losers not kissing his ass. This is a first.
2003-04-28 10:14:54 PM  
whos wil?
2003-04-28 10:17:10 PM  
Maybe that's what this is about...
2003-04-28 10:25:51 PM  
Enquirer *does* speak some truth. Whenever it talks about how f*cked up and psycho celebs are for instance.

And they actually printed a story about how Smart ran away as opposed to being abducted. Has anyone checked up on her lately? I'm worried that her father, being a mormon and all, is probably soddomizing her and her sister as well as whoring them out to his fellow mormons.

Mormon families get together in secret meetings every full moon and have massive sex orgies where the adults rape and molest the children.

Oh, and one last thing:

2003-04-28 10:35:59 PM  
I'm still convinced the Osmonds are tied into this somehow. They, too, just seem a bit TOO "perfect".
2003-04-28 10:37:32 PM  
You mean her "uncle's" are in still in the closet then?
2003-04-28 10:38:30 PM  
The attorney for the Smart family, Francis 'Red Dragon' Dolarhyde, used . . unique methods to convince the editoral staff at the National Enquirer to print the retraction.
2003-04-28 10:38:30 PM  
Oops, I meant "uncles." Shoot me.
2003-04-28 10:40:36 PM  
But I did mean "closet" as in "Timmy's funny uncles are in the closet."
2003-04-28 10:41:05 PM  
I can't believe Fark would actually post anything from the Enquirer.
2003-04-28 10:42:41 PM  
...and I love it when the Mormons cover you ALL OVER with oil. And force you to wear funny pajama things. And by ALL OVER I mean "ALL OVER." With oil.
2003-04-28 10:44:31 PM  
Speaking of gay sex rings, why didn't somebody warn me that our national parks have replaced highway rest stops as homo hookup central? I could have gone all day without some dude older than my father asking for my phone number. Where's a person gotta go these days just to get a little one-on-one with nature?
2003-04-28 10:48:52 PM  
Young_Fart that's what backyards are for.
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