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(The Smoking Gun)   Step 1: Steal underpants. Step 3: Make profit. Step 2 must be "get busted"   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

23473 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Apr 2003 at 6:29 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

171 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-23 06:53:04 PM  

Note the size pretty petite
2003-04-23 06:53:10 PM  
So he had a female roommate. Guess her panties weren't enough for him.
2003-04-23 06:53:34 PM  
At least I never got caught.

Good times, good times...
2003-04-23 06:55:39 PM  
Whoa. I think Stephen Baldwin will play him in the made-for-TV flick "A Thong Before You Die"
2003-04-23 06:57:12 PM  
What. no pictures of the evidence?

Any crotchless taken?

2003-04-23 06:57:16 PM  
this is so farking gay, i subscribe to totalfark 3 days ago. then i unsubscribe today, all i wanted was a month of totalfark. guess what, I can't even goto total fark now. Waste of 5 bucks, just lucky i'm not a sue happy american or else i'll be seeing you in court drew!
2003-04-23 06:57:22 PM  
thats a lot of thongs.
2003-04-23 06:58:17 PM  
The list sounds close my underwear drawer. Just have to have the Eeyore undies in there too and the size difference, since I have a little extra weight on me.
2003-04-23 06:59:20 PM  
Only one university in Menomonie, WI:

[image from too old to be available]

God Bless my Alda Mata for having such perverts.

2003-04-23 06:59:29 PM  
One Swedish-made penis enlarger....

"It's not mine - really!......'
2003-04-23 06:59:37 PM  
you guys need to seriously fix thing thing, i paid for a month of service and end up getting totalfark access denied. I'm not taking a risk of keeping a subscription 'till the last day which could cost me another 5bucks.
2003-04-23 06:59:40 PM  
"i want to marry the girl who sent the police this email." - Spesimen

I think that list alone is gonna lead to a few dead kittens.
2003-04-23 07:00:05 PM  
In college, my roommate arrived home to find our landlord, who was supposed to be fixing our stove, in the act of jerking off on my bed. He ran out and we saw that a pair of her panties that had been in the dryer when we left, apparently intended for use as a spooge rag. We called the cops, moved out and sued for our back rent, which we used to buy all new underwear and sheets. It really freaked us out. And seeing as how this guy from the article had stolen thousand of pairs of panties, this shiat probably happens much more than people realize.
2003-04-23 07:00:15 PM  
Hehe. "When in doubt, go to Stout."
2003-04-23 07:01:26 PM  
BTW - all the aussies reading this thread are thinking - 'why the big fuss over someone stealing people's footwear"......

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-23 07:01:32 PM  
Did you read this guy's confession? wtf, What college is this?
2003-04-23 07:01:43 PM  
I doubt anyone would want to reclaim their wares...
Might as well ship it off to Japan... for PROFIT!
2003-04-23 07:03:11 PM  
Killio: Happosai probably has a bigger collection than this guy's.
2003-04-23 07:05:17 PM  
04-23-03 07:01:26 PM Darth_shatner
BTW - all the aussies reading this thread are thinking - 'why the big fuss over someone stealing people's footwear"......

Then what do they call panties with just a stip of fabric that goes up your butt in the back in australia?
2003-04-23 07:06:08 PM  

that kid was super retarded.
2003-04-23 07:07:32 PM  
Help!Imcoveredinbees!: You ever see the WOMEN that go to Stout? My girlfriend didn't go to Stout when we met, and I swore it was sheer hell having to look outside the dorms just to see a motherlode of hot chicks. One of my friends came a year later, and he was just amazed.

You can't go to that uni without feeling like a pervert. Just some get a little carried away with it...

2003-04-23 07:07:41 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
We are the underpants gnomes.
2003-04-23 07:08:32 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-23 07:09:36 PM  
Go here:
and watch the video and see his Grandfather at the's priceless
2003-04-23 07:09:39 PM  
Yep. There's nothing hotter then skid marks.
2003-04-23 07:09:54 PM  
Then what do they call panties with just a stip of fabric that goes up your butt in the back in australia?

Worn-out panties.
2003-04-23 07:10:22 PM  
Say, place or yours?
2003-04-23 07:12:23 PM  
Alright, maybe I buy too much lingerie, but there's no way I could look around and make a list of my missing panties like our hot friend Katie unless I spent a week trying to play "match the thong to the bra".
2003-04-23 07:12:40 PM  
I went to school with this kid and have had many a beer in the Pub Bar, which is below his apartment.
2003-04-23 07:13:02 PM  
Nice try, but no cigar, headline writer: the proper reference is PHASE, not step.

DaLinuxNut: didn't Luke the Mailbox Bomber go to UW-Stout?
2003-04-23 07:14:07 PM  
Then what do they call panties with just a stip of fabric that goes up your butt in the back in australia?

A "G-String"

Don't ask me why though.....
2003-04-23 07:14:32 PM  
ElwoodCuse: Yup. And no, I didn't know him.
2003-04-23 07:14:45 PM  

The sad thing is that you could probably have just taken all those used panties, setup a website and sold em for even more money!

The moral of the story?

Step 1: Catch landlord doing the deed.
Step 2: Sue his ass and sell panties
Step 3: Profit!
2003-04-23 07:16:35 PM  
he came to a bunch of parties at my house....

And Yes, Stout is also home to the Pipebomber.
2003-04-23 07:17:06 PM  
looks like a didler to me
2003-04-23 07:17:26 PM  
Well yeah, Darth_shatner that makes sense. G-string and thong are interchangeable, although I think thong refers more to the ones with the wider back while a g-string has a little string. Personally I have no use for either. The lowrider bikini is where it's at.
2003-04-23 07:19:00 PM  
That puts a new twist on Bach's "Air on a G String"
2003-04-23 07:21:31 PM  
This guy will never get laid in Menomonie again.

Of course, I doubt he was getting laid to begin with, so going from 0 to 0 is not really a stretch.
2003-04-23 07:22:04 PM  

dude, the TotalFark Signup page states it clearly:

"Note: due to weirdness in Paypal's subscription thing, cancelling an account cancels it immediately."

get over it.

~LB, The Pillsbury Dough Dyke
2003-04-23 07:23:37 PM  
C'mon...a couple of broads from Wisconsin? That 'XS' and 'S' aren't for small - it's for 'extra stout'. Everyone knows Wisconsin is for big fattys that eat too much cheese and fart in all their thongs. This guy is a sicko and probably wanted something to repair his parachutes.
2003-04-23 07:24:20 PM  
Hey Darth_Shatner,
As a Ex insisted on educating me about all this stuff. A t-back is a single string that ends at an approximate right angle to the waist band, this is also known as a g-string. however not all g-strings are tbacks
as lternate versions of the g-string can merely split at the top. A thong consists of a gradually narrowing strip of fabric, it's attactment to the waist band is not important.
hope this helps if you ever have to buy a gift.

2003-04-23 07:25:21 PM  
Panties are really only cool if you find them on your bedroom floor the next morning while cleaning up.
2003-04-23 07:27:01 PM  
Cola - I think he's pretty cute. Looks kinda geeky.

He can't be too bright if he thinks people will buy this whole prank excuse though.

Cola, I gotta be frank and tell you, your taste in men is starting to worry me...

First, (if I recall correctly) you were digging on the American Idol contestant/"Sideshow" Bob look-a-like who was busted for beating the snot out of his sister... Now, this guy?

If I post a mugshot photo of myself, will you tell me I'm "pretty cute" too?

2003-04-23 07:28:44 PM  
Does anyone know Katherine M.? She is one of the victims. I read her email (excerpt below) and I want to
fark help her.

....Here is what I can remember was taken:

(They are all women's thong-style underwear size XS or S)

Red with butterfly on front

White satin with ties on the sides

Black with clear waiststrap

Black sheer with pink bow

Nude color with black lace

Anyway, you get the picture.

2003-04-23 07:32:56 PM  
854?? 854???
2003-04-23 07:41:23 PM  
I am with the I am impressed with "the size xs and s red with butterfly on the front..." group. I would certainly want to meat, umm, I mean, meet her. Forget the thievery, I don't think I could fit size xs or s on my head. Also, I missed if these were clean or "used" when stolen.

/apparently an old perv
2003-04-23 07:45:13 PM  
Small or (Am I reading this right?) Extra-small? These girls must have been little.
2003-04-23 07:47:28 PM  
yes, yes, this is a lot of panties. However you rekon a handful of panties, this is over a hundred panty raids. so this guy went on pantie raids every Monday, Wednesday and Friday night for over 8 months. Not much time left for studying. Or, watcfhing tv for that matter. Which means that all of the South Park references are lost on this man.
2003-04-23 07:50:12 PM  

Get your name from Things to do in Denver When You're Dead? If so kudos, one hell of a movie. And what exactly is a lowrider bikini? Jennybean made reference to one and I have no idea what that is. I would very seriously doubt that they are as sexy as thongs, unless someone would like to convince me otherwise with pics...
2003-04-23 07:56:51 PM  
My wife wears an extra small. We just bought a bunch of stuff from Wicked Weasel, which carries extra small sizes. In real life, this bikini (Almost Safe for work) is even more obscene. Their stuff is pretty cool. and these shorts are the hottest things ever in real life.
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