If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mainichi Daily News)   Nothing involving schoolgirl prostitution, bodily fluids or masturbation happened in Japan today   ( mdn.mainichi.co.jp) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

145 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2003 at 10:19 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

63 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-04-09 06:59:42 AM  
But what of the tentacle porn, man?
2003-04-09 07:18:22 AM  
I think that falls under bodily fluids.
2003-04-09 08:06:59 AM  
geez,, there is no reason for me to live here anymore. Get me back to Australia forthwith!
2003-04-09 10:21:54 AM  
crazy nips.
2003-04-09 10:24:04 AM  
Unpossible. A thousand-peniseded(eh) demon probabaly is involved in a Bukkake attack on the newspapers main headquarters as we speak. Which is why nothing has been posted.
2003-04-09 10:24:10 AM  
i swear that headline on the page is comprised of completely random words. i've read it 5 times now and it still doesn't make sense

/goes and actually reads article
2003-04-09 10:27:45 AM  
That article sure did look like english.
2003-04-09 10:28:35 AM  
Very informative headline.
2003-04-09 10:28:36 AM  
I know, Backgroundnoise.

Dad's bad gags stand damn grand as brands

2003-04-09 10:29:11 AM  
04-09-03 10:21:54 AM Ninja_Pancakes
crazy nips.

hahha lol :)

its the little things that make me guffaw
2003-04-09 10:29:11 AM  
Is Tubgirl feeling ok ?
2003-04-09 10:31:54 AM  
Okay so the guy makes a living making stupid names for products. Can't you generally get a stupid name by translating anything into japanese and back into english? I'd assume it works both ways, can't be that difficult a job.
2003-04-09 10:32:11 AM  
2003-04-09 10:33:45 AM  
'Jimmy James, Macho Business Donkey Wrestler'
2003-04-09 10:34:45 AM  
Anyone read the headline? Who writes copy like this?
2003-04-09 10:36:15 AM  
Maybe Mainichi can hire stupid-product-name guy to replace incoherent-gibberish-headline guy!
2003-04-09 10:36:46 AM  
Its times like these we need a 'Japan' tag... oh wait, no we dont!
2003-04-09 10:40:55 AM  
many days no business come to my hut.

...but my monkey strong bowels...
2003-04-09 10:43:15 AM  
Another headline on that page:

Seeing the signs that your dame's about to demand a divorce

"Most women who yearn for divorce or separation tend to be in their late 40s. Their kids have usually finished high school and their lot in life has become a little easier, so they suddenly start thinking about breaking up and getting away from their husbands," Ikeuchi tells Nikkan Gendai, adding that spring is the most dangerous season when it comes to women wanting to nix their nuptials as the kids have graduated and left them with fewer responsibilities.

Consideringwhat one reads in the other articles on this site, it looks like the little wifey is stuck home raising her childen while the husband is off screwing prostitutes or carrying on a discreet relationship with a teenager. I
can see why divorce is in order.
2003-04-09 10:44:32 AM  
Is it just me, or is the majority of Japanese news reports always related to either sex or poop?
2003-04-09 10:46:10 AM  
Can someone explain to me what Bukkake is? I am to afraid to look it up, for fear that me computer will explode.
2003-04-09 10:51:18 AM  


"Today's story is the third of three about schoolgirl prostitution in Japan."
2003-04-09 10:51:39 AM  
so i translated the headline from english to japanese & back and came up with this:
"As a brand of the father denunciation of standpoint of magnificient bad gag"
2003-04-09 10:52:19 AM  
ever heard of a pearl necklace? Bukkake is like a pearl bodysuit.
2003-04-09 10:52:40 AM  
I'm going to stick around just to see what someones definition of Bukkake forWilliamzabka is...:)
2003-04-09 10:52:42 AM  
Williamzabka: Think of many people glazing a doughnut,and substitute "girl" for doughnut. ;)
2003-04-09 10:54:46 AM  
No school girl prostitution
+ no bodily fluids
+ no masturbation
2003-04-09 11:03:28 AM  
Teluekh, that's from the 4th.
2003-04-09 11:03:47 AM  
Bukkake involves a bunch of guys spooging on some girl's face.
2003-04-09 11:05:36 AM  
Oh, the Danzanity!

/desperately trying to coin a new phrase
2003-04-09 11:15:36 AM  
now that we have that settled, next up on 'i was too damn afraid to find out on my own'

what is a dirty sanchez?
2003-04-09 11:18:18 AM  
Not just her face! Most traditional Japanese Bukkake attempts to insure that any spooge not in an orifice is collected in a large glass bowl, which is consumed as the grand finale.

In contrast the more contemporary American Bukkake, such as Rocco's and Anabalic's forays into the genre, will often feature gentlemen discharging into the young ladie's mouth... but followed shortly by her spitting it out.

I feel that most viewers will appreciate the Japanese take, because while Rocco and Anabolic are responsible for some of the greatest films in the history of adult entertainment (Rocco's True Anal Stories 11 and Anabolic's Rough Sex 1 & 2) the traditional form conveys a much more symbolic and gratifying experience.
2003-04-09 11:19:32 AM  
No beating around the bush for Saturnalia!

Backgroundnoise: Doing it doggy-style, then sticking a finger in the the pooper and running across her top lip. Makes her look like "Dirty Sanchez".
2003-04-09 11:21:40 AM  
no no no no, you're supposed to give a very general answer followed by 4 others each explaining it in more explicit terms than the last

awww you guys are no fun
2003-04-09 11:22:04 AM  
"Today, SARS held a press conference to announce that it will abandon all attemps to infect the Japanese, out of fear that the Japanese will give it a poorly-translated Engrish Name."
2003-04-09 11:22:27 AM  
although i have to admit, i still like Schmack's definition best
2003-04-09 11:25:35 AM  
THE BUKKAKE TEST (NSFW, video nor audio)
2003-04-09 11:28:05 AM  
i smell threadjack
2003-04-09 11:37:14 AM  
That was kind of disturbing Bukharin, especially the music.
2003-04-09 11:37:31 AM  
Nice link Bukharin! I got 13 out of 16!
2003-04-09 11:43:00 AM  
"Sukegawa, who was born and bred in Nagoya"
what is he? A cow? I rather be raised like a fence then bred like a cow.

The japs obsession with the school girl in plaid is true, i used to throw that at my old japenese guy friends, and they'd just smile and give me the thumbs up.
2003-04-09 11:43:32 AM  
Japanese school girls sell soiled panties much better news ......
2003-04-09 11:46:09 AM  
Wrong, wrong and wrong.

Schoolgirls' decade of decadence: panty sales have punters panting

War makes it rough for a sudsy rub 'n tug

Masturbation diddling with married life
2003-04-09 11:49:49 AM  
Byteblock, Madcharlie
I havent tried it out yet (I'm still at work)
but I cant wait to get home! :)
2003-04-09 11:55:03 AM  
I want washy washy
2003-04-09 11:59:20 AM  
Best headline I've read in at least... well, at least 10 minutes!
2003-04-09 12:12:04 PM  
news from japan not bearing the [dumbass] tag!
gaijin around the world rejoice!

Hmm... I want one of those AirForce Fans, and the Kirry potter sounds pretty kewwwl too.

Tokenfemale: any clue how much those things cost?

2003-04-09 12:15:11 PM  
Thanks for helping me guys. I guess I should learn to be more sexually liberated and knowledgeable. Hee hee, this is funny.
2003-04-09 12:25:41 PM  
Do y'all think that this farking tabloid purposefully finds people that speak English with the grammar of a mindless robot? I mean, they use the wrong words with the right definition but in the wrong context, or they simply do not understand the proper way to use the frigging word.
fark. Kiddie porn, sick stories and shiatty English.
Let's nuke 'em.
Duh! *smacks self on forehead*
Did that. Let's invade.
2003-04-09 12:31:23 PM  
I find it interesting that for this headline to literally be true, it would mean that no one in the entire country of Japan has masturbated, urinated or defecated all today. How would someone go about finding out such a thing?

"Oops, there goes someone now."
2003-04-09 12:59:06 PM  
Guiness .. gotta agree... in a nation populated by wankers, that does seem unlikely.
2003-04-09 01:29:06 PM  
2003-04-09 02:10:31 PM  
Pardon my ignorance, but what's tentacle sex?
2003-04-09 02:22:18 PM  
Dad's bad gags stand
damn grand as brands

I can't even say that one time slow.
2003-04-09 02:23:57 PM  

you'd have to watch some old-fashioned hentai to understand. May I reccomment "Yuratsu kadoji" (probably misspelled, but, oh well)
2003-04-09 06:10:17 PM  
Crazy_Gaijin, the most popular spelling is "Urotsukidoji"
2003-04-09 06:27:58 PM  
Congratulations, you got a story posted.
Downside: you get banned for racial slurs.
2003-04-09 06:32:56 PM  
Dad's bad gags stand damn grand as brands.

2003-04-09 06:41:07 PM  
Now THIS is why I love Fark. It's fun, sexual, and educational all at once!
2003-04-09 06:48:16 PM  
Thanx a lot! It's been a couple years since I was subjected to that movie.
... Now if I can only find out how much a AirForce Fan is...
2003-04-09 09:45:42 PM  
That article was a bunch of gomi
2003-04-09 11:49:52 PM  
where the hell do you find these so called bukakke girls? i dont go around asking every girl i meet if she's down with bukakke, and i dont think thats a very... good idea. so any suggestions on what type of establishment these girls patronize?
2003-04-09 11:50:36 PM  
please dont say japan, either. that wont help me.
Displayed 63 of 63 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.