Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Reuters)   United Airlines raises price of Budweiser on domestic flights to $5   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

65 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Apr 2003 at 10:16 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

93 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2003-04-05 08:10:32 PM  
Those Sons of bit*hes.
2003-04-05 08:33:11 PM  
Has the price of good beer on UA flights gone up too?
2003-04-05 10:19:14 PM  
And in a related story, $30 for a back alley lobotomy is now a better deal.
2003-04-05 10:19:22 PM  
For 3 bucks, they'll give you a cup of dirty dish water from the galley. Same diff.
2003-04-05 10:20:33 PM  
Hah! I don't drink airport beer. w00t!
2003-04-05 10:20:56 PM  
I don't travel often (read=hardly ever), but how hard would it be to get some of your own beer onboard?

Vodka disguised as water, maybe? Whisky as apple juice?
2003-04-05 10:21:05 PM  
Taking their cues from Baseball, when can I get a Hot Dog?
2003-04-05 10:21:23 PM  
2003-04-05 10:21:30 PM  
The only solution is a belt flask filled with something stout.
2003-04-05 10:21:47 PM  
So? I dont pay for drinks on airlines. Either im traveling first/business so its free, or I dont buy. Untied pity they arent what they used to be. Ill bet theres a whole bunch of airlines wishing they were regulated.
2003-04-05 10:22:35 PM  
$5 for budweiser?!

WHAT A coontRY!
2003-04-05 10:23:28 PM  
Good idea! Might save the airlines!
2003-04-05 10:23:30 PM  
Unperson hmm. While it should be easy in theory, last time I heard they just made you take a drink of any opened drink container to prove it's safe, I think the smell would give you away. For instance, a bottle full of vodka would be pretty obvious to the screener, and they would probably nab you.

I think the best course would be to buy a big bottle of coke and put a bunch of rum or whiskey in there. That would probably be the best chance of sneaking alcohol by.
2003-04-05 10:24:14 PM  
So, I can pay $40 to get drunk by buying beer on the plane, or buy a $10 flask and fill it with vodka... Decisions, Decisions
2003-04-05 10:25:01 PM  
Couldn't they just charge fat people double like Southwest?
2003-04-05 10:25:28 PM  
I don't travel often (read=hardly ever), but how hard would it be to get some of your own beer onboard?

I find it easy when you are willing to hide a 12 pack in your anus. But thats just me. YMMV
2003-04-05 10:25:30 PM  
You would need a plastic flask to get by security though. There have been a lot of problems with belligerent drunks on planes, and I suspect if you were trying to bring alcohol into the airport it would be "confiscated."
2003-04-05 10:25:39 PM  
Wow, $5 bucks for beer made from pisswater. Tell me if I sound like Oliver Twist when I ask for more!

I would rather play russian roulette with Amtrak and bring a bottle of Virginia Lightning.
2003-04-05 10:26:46 PM  
True! I saw it Thursday when flying. The pilot first announced it as $10 then corrected himself. I think hard liquor mixes were $10. Plenty was served despite the price as the flight was delayed 3 hours and plenty of folks were sitting on the plane for ages.
2003-04-05 10:26:49 PM  
Unperson how hard would it be to get some of your own beer onboard?

It used to be very easy, in fact, nobody cared if you brought a flask. Now, you can't even bring a cup of coffee through the gate that wasn't bought at the airport. Strange, but true. Expensive beer protects us from terrorists.
2003-04-05 10:27:22 PM  
Budwiser? $5?!?

That's why I stick to Shiner...

2003-04-05 10:27:32 PM  
You could always fill a camelback water system...thing with the booze of your choice Sidi, I doubt a metal detector would pick one of those up.
2003-04-05 10:28:02 PM  
Are the stewardesses serving the beer topless? Cause then I could understand why it's $5.
2003-04-05 10:28:42 PM  
It's still cheaper than sports arena beer and Woodstock bottled water.
2003-04-05 10:29:08 PM  
We had a steward-dude and I don't think we wanted to see him topless.
jbc [TotalFark]
2003-04-05 10:29:16 PM  
Do they really think this will slow down the pilots? They can still afford it.
2003-04-05 10:29:41 PM  
I think I may have the solution though...there are ski poles that double as flasks out there for alcoholic downhill skiiers (but I'm repeating myself). You could do the same thing with a cane. Hollow out a wooden cane, if you wanted to avoid adding a wooden taste add some sort of liner, and practice your limp. Metal detector wouldn't see anything.
2003-04-05 10:30:39 PM  
FatherG that would work if you wore bulky enough clothing to hide it. And didn't get picked to be randomly searched.
2003-04-05 10:30:53 PM  
Id pay 5 bucks, of the chick was naked.
2003-04-05 10:31:40 PM  
No ski poles allowed as carryons. BTW I made it back from SLC w/o getting adult-napped by lunatic homeless men who needed extra wives. Did see God on Wednesday night though, he was picketing against porn and yelling he was God at 10 p.m.
2003-04-05 10:32:06 PM  
I can see the signs now...

"Don't crash! Where else can I pay $5 for a beer and sit in tiny seat?"
2003-04-05 10:32:32 PM  
I was saying do the same thing with a cane. Obviously they aren't going to let you through with a ski pole, but I don't know if they would take away a wooden cane if you could do a reasonable job of pretending to need it.
2003-04-05 10:33:32 PM  
alcohol and altitude do amazing things to ya.
2003-04-05 10:33:51 PM  
Silly Airline Trick: Instead of paying for the headset to see the movie, take the subscription card from a magazine, roll it into a cone, and shove it into the hole that the headset tube plugs into. It becomes a megaphone. For those of you who don't fly, the headsets on planes have no wire, they are little hoses that carry the sound from a small speaker in the armrest.

/roadie tricks
2003-04-05 10:35:09 PM  
It would be easy. Baggy pants a la Jncos and a trenchcoat/sweater.
Allthough the last bit wouldn't work in warm climates...
2003-04-05 10:35:19 PM  
Tommy- that must be why I could barely hear the sorry movie they were showing. The hose stunk.
2003-04-05 10:36:17 PM  

I think I may have the solution though...there are ski poles that double as flasks out there for alcoholic downhill skiiers (but I'm repeating myself). You could do the same thing with a cane. Hollow out a wooden cane, if you wanted to avoid adding a wooden taste add some sort of liner, and practice your limp. Metal detector wouldn't see anything.

They still allow canes on airplanes? Oh my god. I will not again fly until I am safe and canes are not allowed on planes.
2003-04-05 10:36:19 PM  
Since the beer is shiat, I don't give a shiat either.
2003-04-05 10:36:35 PM  
Shouldn't they wait until after the EA Sports 500 to raise it to $5 for a Budweiser, after Dale Earnhardt Jr takes his fifth straight race at Talladega.

Tomorrow he takes his 4th straight race there.

/go 8
2003-04-05 10:36:58 PM  

SOME flights are like that, some have actual banana plugs. I always carry my own set of headphones with me so I can watch the movie for free.

Good trick for the older planes, though...

If they paid me $5 I might drink Bud...
2003-04-05 10:37:17 PM  
1) fill a large aenima bag with single malt scotch
2) insert tube in anus
3) fill colon with scotch
4) casually stroll though security and onto plane
5) Ahhh ....
2003-04-05 10:38:21 PM  
The trick is to put your alchohol inside a short metal tube with a flexible straw at one end, then hide a few of these "pipes" under your shirt. Be sure nobodys looking when you suck yourself a snoot full.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-05 10:41:33 PM  
Funny story about airplane movies:

I saw Almost Famous on a flight back from Washington, D.C. Later, my Dad brought it up in conversation and asked me something about the part where they're in the airplane and they think they're gonna crash.

"Huh?" I said. "I don't remember that..."

Then I realized... They edit out airplane crash-related scenes from in-flight movies... Tyler Durden was right.
2003-04-05 10:45:16 PM  
Cranialsodomy They're banana plugs really? Cause these are banana plugs.
[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

If Your headphones fit, it is likely they have an 1/8" phone plug.

Your phones are probably much better than any of the dandruff and grease infested sets they issue though.

/tommy's anal retentive about audio
2003-04-05 10:48:16 PM  
I wouldn't pay $5 for a bud, but getting a good buzz going on a late night flight is recommended. It's highly recommended when there's hardly anyone on the plane but you and a women's lacrosse team. I prefer the little bottles of scotch.
2003-04-05 10:49:16 PM  
MrNeutron, PVC works best.
2003-04-05 10:56:26 PM  
STILL cheaper than at Bruins games.
2003-04-05 10:56:58 PM  
Continental is cool about headphones. For $4 you get the bannana plug headset, but you get to keep it. Many other flights I've been on have standard 1/8" jacks. I havn't seen the air pressure thingies in years.

As for stewardesses:

[image from too old to be available]

Now if only I had a reason to fly to Myrtle Beach.
2003-04-05 10:58:19 PM  
2003-04-05 11:00:06 PM  
No more than 2 months ago I was carrying a flask on a couple of southwest flights. Just throw it in your carry on. No one said a damn thing.
Displayed 50 of 93 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.