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(Fark)   Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Showbiz   ( fark.com) divider line
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6492 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2009 at 2:13 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2009-12-29 01:46:51 PM  
Welcome to Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest for the showbiz subtab. We've winnowed it down to some of our personal favorites from this category, and now it's your opportunity to crown the champ. Happy voting, and here are the nominees:
2009-12-29 01:47:32 PM  
Madonna undergoes therapy, trying to repair her "tikkun," a Kabbalah term which, contrary to popular beliefs, does not mean "gristly man-arms"

2009-12-29 01:48:36 PM  
All seven "Friday The 13th" actors who played Jason Vorhees throughout the years to get together for first time. They will stare intently at the audience for 20 minutes, no Q&A session expected

2009-12-29 01:49:57 PM  
Visual effects studio to open in downtown Detroit. FX wizards say it makes it a lot cheaper to step outside and shoot scenes for the new "Terminator" movie, set in a post-apocalyptic future

2009-12-29 02:01:42 PM  
Kevin Costner and wife give birth to baby boy. Labor took three hours, cost $150 million, and was panned by the critics

2009-12-29 02:02:01 PM  
Slumdog's child actors return home to heroes welcome, huge backlog of orders for Gap chinos

2009-12-29 02:02:20 PM  
Jessica Rabbit voted cartoon sex bomb, followed closely by Betty Boop, because every guy's fantasy is a head like a deformed potato with no chin who talks like a 9-year-old with Down's syndrome

2009-12-29 02:02:39 PM  
Custody battle rages over a statue of Minnie Pearl. It's sad enough the woman went through life with a price on her head

2009-12-29 02:03:01 PM  
Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin boys on Monday after an unexpected sneeze

2009-12-29 02:03:17 PM  
Tired of her blowing away all the time, Harrison Ford puts large metal ring on Calista Flockhart

2009-12-29 02:03:44 PM  
Megan Fox lined up to play She-Hulk in upcoming movie, directors wanting a sexier yet more savage version of the Hulk. Pants are still expected to rip open, just not hers

2009-12-29 02:04:06 PM  
Doing what hundreds of robots could not, Fox terminates Sarah Connor

2009-12-29 02:04:27 PM  
Lindsay Lohan is scared to pump her own gas for fear of being burned to death, sudden overwhelming urge to fellate the nozzle

2009-12-29 02:04:49 PM  
World's largest tub of popcorn being constructed as a promotion. You can wash it down with the world's largest cup of soda, also known in the movie theater business as a "medium"

2009-12-29 02:05:16 PM  
Today in 1944, George Lucas was born. The birth was filmed in 8mm, re-released in 1965 in Super-8 with updated placenta effects, and remastered on Blu-Ray in 2008 with Hayden Christiansen's face superimposed over Dad's

2009-12-29 02:05:39 PM  
Upcoming Rolling Stone cover story featuring "American Idol" runner-up Adam Lambert will explain what those photos of him on his web site tongue-kissing men and dressed in full drag really mean. We're all just aiken to know

2009-12-29 02:05:56 PM  
Michael Jackson's autopsy underway. Coroner struggling with first question: "Race: __________"

2009-12-29 02:06:18 PM  
Shrek sidekick Donkey voted the most-loved movie animal, slightly ahead of Joan Cusack

2009-12-29 02:07:02 PM  
Stage being built for Madonna's show in France collapses leaving one dead, 13 crushed for the very first time

2009-12-29 02:07:20 PM  
Rosie O'Donnell denies that her partner has somehow escaped her gravitational field

2009-12-29 02:07:41 PM  
Redbox sues 20th Century Fox challenging new rule that wholesalers wait 30 days after Fox DVDs come out before selling to them, Fox maintains once a month is enough for Redbox releases. Period

2009-12-29 02:08:07 PM  
Former ABC anchor Carole Simpson says legitimate TV news is dying. We'll have more on this story after a Jon and Kate Plus 8 update, and it looks like Britney and Li-Lo are at it again

2009-12-29 02:08:47 PM  
Lindsay and Ali Lohan learn to surf. In other news, Pacific Ocean to be treated for gonorrhea

2009-12-29 02:09:39 PM  
Spandau Ballet's Gary Kemp says that Simon Cowell is ruining the music industry with American Idol and The X-Factor. Kemp then stopped his rant and asked if the table wanted to start with an appetizer

2009-12-29 02:10:01 PM  
To honor her brother, Janet Jackson will wear black for a year. If she really wanted to honor him, she would slowly fade it to white

2009-12-29 02:10:23 PM  
Lady Gaga pulls out of Kanye West, tour

2009-12-29 02:10:56 PM  
Joss Whedon to direct an episode of "Glee". In other news, "Glee" will be promptly moved to Friday night and cancelled

2009-12-29 02:11:25 PM  
Corey Feldman's wife files for divorce. Corey Feldman to seek sole custody of Corey Haim

2009-12-29 02:11:45 PM  
Sony greenlights Men in Black 3, the most anticipated movie of 1999

2009-12-29 02:12:10 PM  
Kirstie Alley is set to star in reality series about her efforts to lose weight. Tentative title: The Kobayashi Shamu

2009-12-29 02:12:27 PM  
Founder of San Diego Comic-Con, Sheldon Dorf, dies at 76. Rumored to return next summer in issue #77

2009-12-29 02:21:30 PM  
So full of win!
2009-12-29 02:31:18 PM  
Chuckled heartily. I don't recall seeing any weedout threads, though. Did I miss them?
2009-12-29 02:34:11 PM  
Jenna Jameson and Lady Gaga FTW!

No Kanye headline? :(
2009-12-29 02:36:02 PM  
Wait...Fark has subtags?
2009-12-29 02:36:55 PM  
You people have awful taste in headlines.
2009-12-29 02:38:24 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: Chuckled heartily. I don't recall seeing any weedout threads, though. Did I miss them?

Nah, I just saw how long it took to do Sports and figured I'd pick through and select the top 30 so that I can get all of these wrapped up by tomorrow. It was just taking too long.
2009-12-29 02:38:34 PM  

sboyle1020: You people have awful taste in headlines.

I think this years headline contest winners are going to read like a list of bad punchlines from gag gifts at Spencer's.
2009-12-29 02:40:56 PM  

sboyle1020: You people have awful taste in headlines.

You submit awful headlines, so it all comes out as a wash.
2009-12-29 02:44:42 PM  

spidermann: sboyle1020: You people have awful taste in headlines.

You submit awful headlines, so it all comes out as a wash.

I did, that's why I stopped. But the leading headlines right now are not the funniest ones.
2009-12-29 02:47:20 PM  
Jenna wins!
2009-12-29 02:49:15 PM  
Let me guess, many of these were submitted by the English Major. Right?

Quantity over quality.
2009-12-29 03:01:26 PM  
Darn, I missed the cartoon babes thread. (Clicks "Favorite") The Photoshopper crowd ran wild with the concept about a year ago. Enjoy! (new window)

/Oh, and nice headlines Subbies
2009-12-29 03:07:44 PM  

Unfreakable: HaywoodJablonski: Chuckled heartily. I don't recall seeing any weedout threads, though. Did I miss them?

Nah, I just saw how long it took to do Sports and figured I'd pick through and select the top 30 so that I can get all of these wrapped up by tomorrow. It was just taking too long.

A hearty thank you again for all your efforts.

/Wouldn't want to deal with it.
2009-12-29 03:08:34 PM  
2009-12-29 03:11:35 PM  
I voted, but I didn't like it.
2009-12-29 03:16:13 PM  
so many good lines.
2009-12-29 03:26:51 PM  
As often as I read Fark, I can't believe I missed so many of these. Great job, submitters!
2009-12-29 03:34:18 PM  
The Showbiz Headlines entries are always the most entertaining ones.
2009-12-29 03:38:34 PM  
Lady Gaga SLAYED ME.
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