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(Yahoo)   Justin Timberlake to host Celine Dion special on CBS. Producers hope that their combined suckiness will create giant "suck magnet" that will rid the world of all sucking forever   ( story.news.yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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2269 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Mar 2003 at 3:59 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

82 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-03-13 04:04:00 PM  
suck me beautiful
2003-03-13 04:04:04 PM  
Sadly, it will probably have very high ratings.
2003-03-13 04:04:43 PM  
Can't diss this guy too hard, according to Freddy D, he did get to slap the bone to Ms. Spears a few times. The lucky bastard.
2003-03-13 04:05:42 PM  
The giant sucking sound! I can't wait.
2003-03-13 04:05:58 PM  
All sucking? Even the good kind of sucking? I'm not so sure I like this idea...
2003-03-13 04:06:15 PM  
lovin that part he's got going on

2003-03-13 04:06:26 PM  

CBS producers finally have their shiat together
2003-03-13 04:06:38 PM  
Celine Dion thinks she's so farking special that she needs a special about herself?!?! Arghh, she bugs me soooo much! She's alien looking.

Gladly not by me, Chtrorran!
2003-03-13 04:08:05 PM  
Yes, yes.

More entertainment to distract the masses from the world around them.

I approve.
2003-03-13 04:08:10 PM  
Saddle up!
2003-03-13 04:08:11 PM  
Don't cross the streams.

Why not?

It could be bad.
2003-03-13 04:08:26 PM  
the suckyness of this cannot be measured
2003-03-13 04:08:41 PM  
Will he grab her skinny @ss too. The thought makes me want to puke!!!
2003-03-13 04:08:48 PM  
It must be said - good headline!
2003-03-13 04:09:27 PM  
i wish more crappy celeberties would do this..one bomb, two victims.
2003-03-13 04:09:30 PM  
At least if there combined suckiness doesn't destroy them all together, their suck will be great enough to create an Einstein Rosenberg bridge and deposit them in some unfortunate alternate dimension.
2003-03-13 04:09:49 PM  
sucks to be them (get it? get it?)

I got nothing

in other news: is fark unusually slow today or what???????
2003-03-13 04:11:15 PM  
Dream on...
2003-03-13 04:11:25 PM  
"Justin Timberlake to host Celine Dion special on CBS"

One of the reasons why James Gandolfini is holding out for more money from HBO. Really, what percentage of TV is worth watching anymore ?

And if I see another new reality show on TV, I will present my own to the networks: "Skinink Blows His Brains Out". Should be a hit with the NRA crowd, at least.

2003-03-13 04:12:19 PM  
Celine Dion SUCKS!!! She makes me want to puck and seeing the headline almost made me puke...

I USED to think she had a good voice, but she has become so full of herself that it overshadows her voice (I am tired of her POWER ballads). What did me in was seeing footage from her and hubby's anniversary party. The party had a middle eastern theme. Her and hubby were carried into the party by "slaves" on those bed-type thingies while they waived to their minions. BARF!!!!
2003-03-13 04:12:41 PM  
"...with special guests Robin Williams and Billy Crystal!"
2003-03-13 04:13:11 PM  
This sucks more than anything that has sucked before!

/Beavis and Butthead
2003-03-13 04:14:29 PM  
...to be followed by the movie "Event Horizon".
2003-03-13 04:15:21 PM  
Note to self:

Securely fasten coasters to coffee table.
2003-03-13 04:16:07 PM  
So Justin appeared on stage with some boy band (n'sync?)

and then he farked (one or more of) them.

Then he appeared on stage with Britney Spears.

and then he farked her.

Then he appears on stage with Kylie Minogue's ass.

and then he farks it. Or so claims Kylie's newly-dumped boyfiend.

Now he's gonna be onstage with Celene Dion? Does anyone else worry that he might miss her ass (not hard to do, there isn't much to it) and spooge in her baby-maker? She's already made one half-copy of herself, and that's bad enough, but can the world survive the unholy hell-spawn of such an evil union?
2003-03-13 04:16:12 PM  
That might be the funniest headline I've ever read on teh
2003-03-13 04:17:18 PM  
I wish I sucked enough to have tagged Britney, Alyssa Milano and Janet Jackson. Bastard.
2003-03-13 04:17:24 PM  
well, they got the suck magnet part right....
2003-03-13 04:19:56 PM  
This could be the best show ever. CBS knows what they are doing.
2003-03-13 04:20:56 PM  
[image from starpulse.com too old to be available]

[image from animationlibrary.com too old to be available]

I'm so glad I didn't see that AuntofDogface. I feel the exact same way as you.
2003-03-13 04:21:49 PM  
Of all of the links I have submitted to Fark- this has to be the first one to make to the main page? I'm honored, yet confused at the same time. Perhaps it is I who sucks.
2003-03-13 04:22:37 PM  
And I quote... Homer:

"..Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked. I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!..."
2003-03-13 04:23:45 PM  
I'm touched, CBS really does want everyone to hate them - and they admit it too!
2003-03-13 04:24:41 PM  
The producers are not paying close enough attention to the physics of sucking. If they bring two masses of suck in such close proximity to each other (like Celine Dione and Justin Timberlake) the suckier of the two will draw in the smaller. But the increased suckiness of will cause the celebrity to implode under the power of its own sucking.

While this may seem like a good idea. There is a theory that if a celebrity does suck so much that they implode, they might form sucking singularity. Who's mass of sucking will be so great that nothing on Earth will be able to escape it.

Run for your lives everyone... this is the end of good entertainment as we know it!
2003-03-13 04:24:50 PM  
If Justin Timberlake and Celene Dion breed, we are all doomed.

2003-03-13 04:24:59 PM  
I don't know about all of you, but am I the only one whose eyes are bleeding at the thought of this steaming pile of donkey excrement? Just a thought.
2003-03-13 04:25:16 PM  
South Park to do follow-up spoof in 3...2...

/bad cliche
2003-03-13 04:29:57 PM  
I heard somewhere that there are some "concerns" over lagging ticket sales for her Vegas show... heeheehee

Someone needs to knock this biatch off of her high horse.
2003-03-13 04:31:20 PM  
Sorry America, you got her now you have to keep her. Um, we did take away her passport right?
2003-03-13 04:33:00 PM  
Scary?! Scary is an understatement!!!

There are NO HUMAN words that can describe this horror... God. I am still shaking. Give me a moment to settle down. Please.

It's just a dream... It's just a dream... It's just a dream... It's just...
2003-03-13 04:34:32 PM  
Best headline I've seen in weeks.
2003-03-13 04:35:35 PM  
DarthG - I was thinking the exact same thing.

Remember - This kind of show wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell if people didn't want it. Unfortunately, they do! Sad, sad world.
2003-03-13 04:36:03 PM  
You might notice two large steel rods sticking from my profusely bleeding ears. Oh, and those two bloody orbs in the floor? Yes, those are indeed my eyes I just ripped from my skull.

Do not be alarmed and carry on with your work.
2003-03-13 04:38:08 PM  
*Prays with all available means that Eminem is close enough to said "suck magnet"*
2003-03-13 04:46:23 PM  
Dude, I'm a big fan of Eminem. The beats are awesome, especially the ones they don't play on the radio, and the lyrics are unbelievably good. Gone are his days of using shock value to get ratings. His rhymes are enough to carry him.
2003-03-13 04:48:50 PM  
They'll need to add Barry Manilow and Kenny G to reach critical mass.
2003-03-13 04:53:52 PM  
you forgot michael bolton Shameless goat-farker.
2003-03-13 04:58:25 PM  
Agreed, avixxen. I liked Michael Bolton when he was Michael Bolotin and played the clubs in New Haven - he was a half-way decent rock -n- roller, but the shiat he does now.... OHMIGOD, between him and Celine, I think I'm gonna hurl....

And his hair....

/hurling into garbage can/
2003-03-13 05:12:45 PM  
Too bad it isn't on FOX so the affliates can cite "poor taste" & opt to not show the horror this will surely be. But more importantly why did it take so long for the comments to come up? I've got DSL. I ended up watching 15 minutes of Yu-Gi-Oh while waiting. I swear when I logged on there were 37 comments & now theres got be near 50.

Sorry, end of rant.
2003-03-13 05:14:22 PM  
Um ... I love Celine. I'd go into all the reasons why and try to argue against her bashing, but I think I'm outnumbered, so I'll just silently walk out the door now. I don't pick fights I can't win.
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