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(Some Guy)   Woman says having her 30-foot long fingernails broken off in car accident "robbed her of her identity" (w/ pic that will haunt your dreams)   ( belfasttelegraph.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, car accidents, fingernails, identity, talons, Guinness World Records, bookmarks, women, Salt Lake City  
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44968 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Sep 2009 at 4:18 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



183 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-09-03 01:51:36 PM  
Combined length? That's bogus. I wanted to see a picture of someone with fingernails that were 30 feet long, EACH.
 
2009-09-03 01:55:06 PM  
Do the chickens have large talons?
 
2009-09-03 02:04:44 PM  
How does she wipe her ass?
 
2009-09-03 02:05:43 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


Actually how does she do anything at all?
 
2009-09-03 02:06:22 PM  

EvilEgg: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?

Actually how does she do anything at all?


Is it wrong to quote yourself?
 
2009-09-03 02:07:26 PM  

EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?

Actually how does she do anything at all?

Is it wrong to quote yourself?


Is it more or less annoying than slashies.
 
2009-09-03 02:08:40 PM  

EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?

Actually how does she do anything at all?

Is it wrong to quote yourself?

Is it more or less annoying than slashies.


That should have ended with a question mark.
 
2009-09-03 02:09:02 PM  
what was her identity? 'i haven't been able to do shiat myself for 30 years and i'm proud of it'?
 
2009-09-03 02:21:25 PM  
Listen up, kids. That on-a-whim tattoo, piercing or body mod might seem like a cool way to establish your "identity"... but in the end, all you end up doing is defending it for the rest of your life because you'll never want to admit that you were that stupid.

/codger
 
2009-09-03 02:26:14 PM  
"So, no hand job?"
 
2009-09-03 02:33:05 PM  

EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?
Actually how does she do anything at all?
Is it wrong to quote yourself?
Is it more or less annoying than slashies.
That should have ended with a question mark.


all of this and more
why does someone else do all those things for her?
 
2009-09-03 02:43:55 PM  
channel4.comView Full Size


/ impressed
 
2009-09-03 02:50:48 PM  
i4.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-09-03 03:02:40 PM  
shiat happens lady, get the fark over it.

\\laughing at you, not with you
 
2009-09-03 03:21:16 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


Front to back, I would imagine....
 
2009-09-03 03:26:07 PM  
Sorry, lady...But if your entire "identity" hinges on being "that scary biatch with the freaky, disgusting fingernails," methinks you need to spend a little time on personal development in ANY case.

Good luck with the lawsuit, though.
 
2009-09-03 04:20:25 PM  
16 comments and no one yet has pointed out that the nails are not 30 feet long.
 
2009-09-03 04:20:36 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


very carefully?
 
2009-09-03 04:21:22 PM  
I've been on Fark for many, many years, and a lot of epic threads, some funny, most entertaining, but this one really gets my goat. Totaly discusting. My two cents.
 
2009-09-03 04:21:26 PM  

Beatle_Matt: Front to back, I would imagine....


I'm picturing this...that's quite a stretch...
 
2009-09-03 04:21:40 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


Came here to say this.

Stupid coont.
 
2009-09-03 04:23:07 PM  
jschroeder.comView Full Size


First thing that came to mind.
 
2009-09-03 04:23:10 PM  
Impressed:

peopleofwalmart.comView Full Size
 
2009-09-03 04:24:33 PM  
You know, if my identity was 'incredibly sad and creepy woman with no life who no one will ever have sex with...EVER.' I'd be happy if someone robbed me of it.
 
2009-09-03 04:24:37 PM  
There was a chick that worked as a cashier at one of the porn shops here in Denver that had nails way over the top too long. But if she lost hers in an accident she wouldn't lose her identity; she'd still be the porno-shop girl.
 
2009-09-03 04:24:50 PM  
It's miller time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t-fFu7iw-U (new window)

(I love how the one hot indian chick gets all offended by the puking)
 
2009-09-03 04:25:06 PM  
How do you even grip the steering wheel of a car without your nails wrapping all over the place.

/Oops, gata shift gears, hang on this may take an hour.
 
2009-09-03 04:25:17 PM  
She's probably extremely devestated. It's probably worse than having your hair burned off when you've had it at Crystal Gail lengths for all your life, by choice -- only this is worse, because fingernails take much more care to get that long.

After the vomiting and shaking and depressive blackouts lessen, she should take it as a sign.
 
2009-09-03 04:25:24 PM  
i163.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
2009-09-03 04:25:46 PM  
Okay, of all the things on Fark I've seen, giant spiders, gory bug infestations, Amy Winehouse, this one got to me.
 
2009-09-03 04:25:58 PM  
I remember reading about her in Guiness BoWR years ago. I thought she was an idiot then, and I think she's even more of an idiot now.

Fingernails? That's where you place your identity? Really?
 
2009-09-03 04:25:59 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


with a mop, i imagine.

/my imagination, let me scare you with it.
 
2009-09-03 04:26:16 PM  

fritopendejo: Do the chickens have large talons?


I din't unnerstan a word you said.
 
2009-09-03 04:26:48 PM  
Scary. Really, really scary.
 
2009-09-03 04:26:54 PM  
all of this and more
why does someone else do all those things for her?



This is what i'm thinking...she's not upset about losing her identity, she's upset at losing her 30-years of "do fark all for yourself", princess-style status.
 
2009-09-03 04:27:15 PM  

Cheesehead_Dave: Impressed:


I just threw up in my mout a little
 
2009-09-03 04:27:59 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


Rag on a stick?
 
2009-09-03 04:28:21 PM  
I'd hit it!!
 
2009-09-03 04:29:03 PM  

namatad: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?
Actually how does she do anything at all?
Is it wrong to quote yourself?
Is it more or less annoying than slashies.
That should have ended with a question mark.

all of this and more
why does someone else do all those things for her?


Groupies will cling to anyone that may validate their pathetic empty existences.
When I saw the photo I wondered how she masturbated.
Can someone shop her with the British gal from yesterday? The one traumatized by her naked neighbor.

/kthxbai
 
2009-09-03 04:29:08 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


I'm picturing a short saw horse wrapped in toilet paper that she "glides" up and down???
 
2009-09-03 04:29:22 PM  

EvilEgg: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?

Actually how does she do anything at all?


This. How does she live her daily life? I can't even think of a way to lift a jug of milk, pick things up off of tables or shelves, or (most relevant to this story) open a car door. I would think losing those nails would be a huge relief.
 
2009-09-03 04:29:33 PM  
http://standeyo.com/NEWS/06_Weird/060929.long.nails.html

This is how she goes to the bathroom. I smell something fishy. She was getting rid of her nails soon anyway. Easy money.
 
2009-09-03 04:30:52 PM  

druidmama: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?

I'm picturing a short saw horse wrapped in toilet paper that she "glides" up and down???


HA!
Description of said acts and pics please.
 
2009-09-03 04:31:06 PM  

Rhawb: EvilEgg: EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?

Actually how does she do anything at all?

This. How does she live her daily life? I can't even think of a way to lift a jug of milk, pick things up off of tables or shelves, or (most relevant to this story) open a car door. I would think losing those nails would be a huge relief.


According to her wiki, putting on a coat is "troublesome."
Link
 
2009-09-03 04:31:54 PM  
yo she-biatch! let's go!
 
2009-09-03 04:32:45 PM  
The question isn't how she does stuff. It's how the hell can you not break at least one of them in all that time.

Shart, I break nails on belly button lint.
 
2009-09-03 04:34:53 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


With the Bottom Buddy, of course:

boomerstore.bizView Full Size
 
2009-09-03 04:35:01 PM  

EvilEgg: How does she wipe her ass?


The same way porcupines kiss.

What a porcupine might look like:
[image from newsfromme.com too old to be available]
 
2009-09-03 04:36:07 PM  
Well, at least she never ever has an itch she can't reach. Ahh, who am I kidding, that's freaky as shiat and I'll probably wake up screaming thinking about it
 
2009-09-03 04:38:00 PM  
Fingernails aside, she looks like Donovan from Indy/Last Crusade after he drank from the wrong cup.

[image from timboucher.com too old to be available]

/guess she chose poorly.
 
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