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(Eating Our Words)   Satan's Whiskers. Monkey Gland. Corpse Reviver #2. Voodoo ingredients? No; it's the list of 100 cocktails everyone should try before they die   (blogs.houstonpress.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Monkey Gland, compiling, mixologists, Jerry Seinfeld, Monkey Gland, Blood & Sand, lists, connoisseurs, Death in the Afternoon  
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9823 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Sep 2009 at 7:31 AM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-08-31 06:08:46 PM  
If you try them all in one evening, it'll be the last thing you do before you die.
 
2009-08-31 06:18:06 PM  
I believe I've had 17 of the drinks on that list. Clearly I have some catching up to do.
 
2009-08-31 08:04:33 PM  
My weekends are planned for the next few months. Thanks Subby.
 
2009-08-31 08:46:31 PM  
The Screaming, Hollering Orgasm:

Vodak
Kahlua
Amaretto
Baileys
Frangelico
Half & Half or cream

About equal proportions of each. Works over ice or blended.

(the "hollering" part is a shoutout to a bartender at the old Cowboy nightclub in St. Pete during the '80s. He took the typical "orgasm" recipe (vodak, Kahlua, Amaretto, cream) and made it oh, so much better
 
2009-08-31 11:28:52 PM  

BondageFaerie: Thanks Subby.


Thanks for the tease, Subby, but that list is worthless for making drinks. That list is like Monty Python's lesson on "How to Play the Flute" - "Well, you blow in this part here, and you move your fingers up and down there."

Unless it lists proportions of ingredients, what do you do? Assume a shot of each? A Manhattan with an entire shot each of Angostura bitters and vermouth? My favorite mixed drink would be undrinkable. It's like describing a martini as "gin, vermouth".
 
2009-09-01 01:21:24 AM  
Shouldn't "Corpse Reviver #2" be tried after as well?

/braaaiiiinssss....
 
2009-09-01 03:02:24 AM  
I don't drink. Subby's premise is invalid.
 
2009-09-01 04:13:09 AM  
An old-school list, despite the mojito sneaking in.
Noticed it's heavy on the gin, rum and whiskeys, not so much on vodka and tequila (Me being Mexican and Russian - OUTRAGE! BTW), and didn't see Galliano, Blue Curacao or Midori (Asian friends of mine drink that stuff up). And Campari and Absinthe are hard to come by in the common bar, and most folks often don't go out of their way for bitters.

Still, some good mixes here. Have had a number of these drinks; Singapore slings and Alexanders are common for me to make.

and to note, since it doesn't list amounts -- I think it's just "hey, if you like X ingredient, try this, would you like to know more? Click elsewhere."
 
2009-09-01 07:40:59 AM  
I'll stick with Wild Turkey and 7-up thank you.
 
2009-09-01 07:44:11 AM  
At this point in my life, I've sort of settled in on the Bombay Sapphire martini. I discovered I really like good liquor that tastes like good liquor.
 
2009-09-01 07:45:18 AM  
How did "cocktails" get their name?
 
2009-09-01 07:46:10 AM  
It might have been better if the article had included descriptions of the drinks.
 
2009-09-01 07:47:49 AM  
Here's my favourite:

Mix two shots of vodka with four shots of vodka. Slowly pour over three shots of vodka. Top with one shot of vodka. Bid farewell to your tastebuds and any memory of the rest of the evening.
 
2009-09-01 07:51:49 AM  
Save yourself the click. Here's the actual list.
 
2009-09-01 07:54:22 AM  
Also known as "Tuesday" to the Fark admins!
 
2009-09-01 07:59:23 AM  
How about the Voodoo Meatbucket?

1 part Vodak
1 part Triple Sec
1 part Chambord
1 part Bacardi 151

Best damn shot in the world!
 
2009-09-01 08:03:25 AM  
All I need is a good 25 year old Single Malt scotch on the rocks mixed with Mountain Dew.
 
2009-09-01 08:05:30 AM  
Mixed drinks are for pussies.

Real men mix whiskey with more whiskey.
 
2009-09-01 08:12:57 AM  
2 oz. Captain Morgan
4 oz. Prune juice
Served over ice with a pickle.

I call it "The Butt Pirate"
 
2009-09-01 08:13:07 AM  
Good rule of thumb - if a drink needs a stupid name (instead of just referring to it by what's actually in it), it's for chicks.

You're not a chick, are you?

Good, now enjoy your single malt Scotch on the rocks with Mountain Dew.
 
2009-09-01 08:17:38 AM  

Pythagoras: Save yourself the click. Here's the actual list.


You said to save ourselves the click... and yet we have to click to see your list...
 
2009-09-01 08:20:19 AM  
Cocktails are for women and prissy ponces.

Real men drink their drinks straight up.
 
2009-09-01 08:21:00 AM  

Agent19: All I need is a good 25 year old Single Malt scotch on the rocks mixed with Mountain Dew.



Why would you do that to Scotch? That hurts my inner alcoholic.
 
2009-09-01 08:22:30 AM  
Weird, I was at this bar last night. Their old fashioned is pretty damn good
 
2009-09-01 08:24:21 AM  

Tatsuma: Cocktails are for women and prissy ponces.

Real men drink their drinks straight up.


THIS.
 
2009-09-01 08:29:14 AM  

Agent19: All I need is a good 25 year old Single Malt scotch on the rocks mixed with Mountain Dew.


I actually teared up a little.
 
2009-09-01 08:29:53 AM  
What you need is a free night, a couple of friends, a fully stocked home bar, and nothing to do tomorrow. This will help knock that list down a few pegs...staring at us with that "what are you lookin' at?" glare. F-you, list!
 
2009-09-01 08:34:47 AM  

Tatsuma: Cocktails are for women and prissy ponces.

Real men drink their drinks straight up.


Oh, yeah, I'm sure you're a hulking hairbeast who guzzles a half-gallon of Chivas every morning. Yup yup yup.
 
2009-09-01 08:40:29 AM  

Marla Singer's Laundry: Tatsuma: Cocktails are for women and prissy ponces.

Real men drink their drinks straight up.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure you're a hulking hairbeast who guzzles a half-gallon of Chivas every morning. Yup yup yup.



Mmmmmm... the Hulking Hairbeast. How did that not make the list? I like it with a sprig of mint for garnish.
 
2009-09-01 08:55:01 AM  
Pfft, there aremuchcooler named mixed drinks

Vulcan mind probe, Irish car bomb, flaming dirty nazi, lay me down and fark me,
 
2009-09-01 08:56:41 AM  
No Screaming Viking?
 
2009-09-01 08:58:35 AM  
Chivas?

What do you think I am, Irish and on the dole?
 
2009-09-01 09:09:59 AM  
Kahlua+Milk+Ovaltine=The NAMBLA

Spread it around.
 
2009-09-01 09:17:34 AM  

HAMMERTOE: How did "cocktails" get their name?


There are a few theories.
 
2009-09-01 09:24:37 AM  
What a bullshiat list. Nowhere near enough detail (measures) to make it. Vague on critical details (white or red vermouth?), and it lists some standard cocktails with variant ingredients (Martini is gin and white vermouth - the one listed adds orange bitters, which makes it a variant).

This one takes the cake:

"Punch - we will occasionally make one of jerry thomas' punch recipes; this is only available on special occasions"

This is a MENU, it is NOT a list of cocktails with ingredients, measures and instructions. Hence it is useless to anyone who isn't standing at the bar in Anvil, which from the article's comments appears to be a trendy, light-on-the sauce, expensive douche-corral.
 
2009-09-01 09:25:51 AM  
Rusty Nail.

(not for pussies)
 
2009-09-01 09:29:53 AM  
A good mint julep is magic. But it's easier to find a real magician than someone who makes a good mint julep.
 
2009-09-01 09:38:00 AM  

cefm: douche-corral


Beautiful. Stealing that.

Might as well add another vote for the best drink being "$Alcohol + [ice | !ice, depending]".

Wait, come to think of it, the best drink is, "Free", followed by the above.

(But the list will be handy to print and keep by the bar for inspiration, next to this one (new window)....)
 
2009-09-01 09:42:28 AM  
Why do they include their list of "unknowns" then mention three drinks that anyone who has ever been to a bar would have heard of long ago?
 
2009-09-01 09:55:42 AM  
A cocktail is not about how much alcohol is in it or how stupid the name is, it's the quality and proportion of ingredients.
That being said, I prefer bourbon, neat.
 
2009-09-01 10:05:33 AM  

Tatsuma: Chivas?

What do you think I am, Irish and on the dole?


Poor Irish people drink Guinness or if they're real jakeys, White Lightening.
Whilst you're here, what exactly is the Jewish representation to the alcohol world. Not a troll, I genuinely don;t know any hebrew/jewish drinks, and I know Jews drink (like it was going out of fashion) so I was wondering what the jewish speciality is.

/ Whatever it is, can't beat a single malt from Islay.
 
2009-09-01 10:05:37 AM  

remus: I'll stick with Wild Turkey and 7-up thank you.


I'll have to try it with 7UP. I usually have a Turkey and Coke with a lime twist.

/101 of course...
 
2009-09-01 10:08:11 AM  
I couldn't get past the picture of the dirty mop looking brisket... curiosity got the best of me, I clicked, and now I'm sending someone to shut that "self-taught barbecue man" down before anyone gets the idea that's the way to smoke a brisket.

blogs.houstonpress.comView Full Size


FAIL

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/eating/2009/08/shade_tree_barbecue_fail​.​php (new window)
 
2009-09-01 10:16:41 AM  

Wizard Drongo: what exactly is the Jewish representation to the alcohol world.


Slivovitz, mediocre wine, and Canadian whiskey.
 
2009-09-01 10:20:28 AM  
It depends on which particular subset you're from, really. Chabad Chassidim, for example, really like their vodka (they originated from Russia), for others it might be schnapps and so on. Two drinks I have found to be universal and ubiquitous when you've got large gatherings of different Orthodox types: scotch and arak (as long as there are sephardim for the last one)

On Shabbos, all over the world, it's pretty much always scotch, though. Google "kiddush clubs".
 
2009-09-01 10:22:50 AM  
Shows how little you know and how much you rely on stereotypes.

In the 80s in America that might have been true, but nowadays there are worldclass kosher wineries.
 
2009-09-01 10:25:06 AM  
If you're brave try a Super Jesus, one I happened to come upon.

1 glass
Half Red Wine
Half Vodka

Super Jesus, it ain't your sissy church wine. And just like Jesus, its a drink on a mission: to completely obliterate your a$$, then 3 days later you rise as if by magic. And at least one person in your crew won't believe you're survived until he sees you.
 
2009-09-01 10:26:39 AM  
I was in a bar once that offered Rum with 85% alcohol in it...
I wonder if "1 part rum, 8 parts pure alcohol" counts as cocktail.
 
2009-09-01 10:39:40 AM  
Somehow, the Heartstopper (new window) is missing.
 
2009-09-01 10:50:12 AM  
Practical_Draconian: An old-school list, despite the mojito sneaking in.

How is the Mojito not old school? It's at least 100 years old...Hemingway drank them.

I agree with cefm, this list is silly, at least in some of the ingredients. They are trying, though.

I recommend Ted Haigh's "Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails: From the Alamagoozlum to the Zombie 100 Rediscovered Recipes and the Stories Behind Them" (now out in a second edition) to anyone who wants a real list of great cocktails to try...with recipes.
 
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