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(   US army to use chickens to detect chemical attacks   ( divider line
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4029 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Feb 2003 at 1:34 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-02-20 11:53:59 AM  
Naked PETA women in 5..4..3..
2003-02-20 12:01:41 PM  
"Chickens will be placed in cages on the top of their Hum-Vee vehicles."

This article is satire, isn't it? I can't stand the thought of our brave soldiers riding into combat looking like a bunch of hillbillies.
2003-02-20 12:04:58 PM  
Operation KFC

2003-02-20 12:22:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
And there was much rejoicing.

2003-02-20 12:48:17 PM  
In Other News:

Kentucky Fried Chicken announces two new flavors of Chicken Poppers to their menu. Blister Poppin' Mustard and Suddenly Sarin!!
2003-02-20 12:56:23 PM  

Suddenly Sarin???


Das a gud von
2003-02-20 01:59:07 PM  
Next up, Army admits they got the idea while watching "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" on Pentagon movie night. In related news, I just made myself hungry for mashed potatos.
2003-02-20 02:01:17 PM  

Blister Poppin' Mustard made me gag. Good job!
2003-02-20 02:02:20 PM  
Beware the 101st Rooster Regiment from KY. They even scare the "Screaming Eagles". Nothing like a good Cock Fight to start a war.
2003-02-20 02:03:26 PM  
If they're going to use chickens, who's gonna make movies?
2003-02-20 02:07:26 PM  
Will that be Original recipe, extra crispy or really really crispy?
2003-02-20 02:07:34 PM  
Operation KFC, Eh? Everyone knows they don't serve real chicken at KFC anymore. Check it out!'n.htm
2003-02-20 02:07:43 PM  
I'm just glad I'm not combat inf.

I'd be farking ashamed to ride in a hummer, beneath a chicken.

What I want to know is, if they put them on the M1025/26 HMMVW's are they going to train the chickens to use the Mk 19, M60 and .50cal weapon mounts, or are they just gonna stick with the 7.62's?
2003-02-20 02:08:38 PM  
PETA before you even begin

[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-20 02:10:40 PM  
I wonder if PETA will send in volunteers to act as human shields for the chickens?
2003-02-20 02:11:47 PM  
Police lyrics that didn't make it:

You live your life like a chicken on a HumVee
2003-02-20 02:11:51 PM  
I knew the French would come in handy for something!
2003-02-20 02:12:52 PM  
Please refrain from using the words "chicken' & "hummer" in the same sentence.

2003-02-20 02:13:25 PM  
I thought the French were staying out of this war?
2003-02-20 02:14:28 PM  
This is a very old technique. Hell, in Canada we had pigeon patrols along the entire border last year to monitor the spread of West Nile from the States. Not kidding. And of course for detecting gas in coal mines...the canary!

GAS! Out o' the well! Ahhhhhhh!
2003-02-20 02:14:59 PM  
Are they under the command of Colonel Sanders? /cringe
2003-02-20 02:18:59 PM  
Outta just use some of their soldiers that surrender to our news teams.
2003-02-20 02:20:02 PM  
I see the French joke has been made. alas.
2003-02-20 02:20:13 PM  
"Come on Iraq - I dare ya."
2003-02-20 02:21:06 PM  
What about the trusty ol' stand-in: The canary? What does the canary union have to say about this?

Now, someone correct me here, but don't chickens have a very slow nervous system and therefore actually make them a terrible measure of what's in the air? I mean, you chop a chicken's head off and it'll still flop around for a bit ...
2003-02-20 02:22:13 PM  
I'm not surprised.

These are the same chickens they trained to lay powdered eggs.
2003-02-20 02:22:57 PM  
That would have been so much funnier with the unfetchable image.
2003-02-20 02:24:13 PM  

2003-02-20 02:24:27 PM  
Make that 12 herbs and spices...

oregano... brown sugar... black pepper... VX gas...

If it makes the Colonel's Chicken even more tasty and delicious, then I say, SO BE IT.

Damn, I'm hungry for some chicken now...
2003-02-20 02:25:16 PM  
Not to mention if you have the chicken mounted on the roof of the vehicle, how the hell are you going to see it die to know to put on the gas mask?
2003-02-20 02:25:53 PM  
It would have been SO much funnier if they had mentioned that it was Operation KFC in the Tagline for the article....
2003-02-20 02:28:31 PM  
UNCOVEROR... totally wrong about the KFC deal. Once again proving that you can't believe everything you see on the internet.
2003-02-20 02:28:36 PM  
*cues stereotypical hillbillies to exit bus*

"hey, where do i get mah gree-nades at?"

"they dont have them groop toilets here no more do they?"

/dum, dum dum da dum, dum dum da da da dunum
2003-02-20 02:28:52 PM  
I suppose they could strap the chicken in front of a microphone wired to an interior speaker so they could hear the clucking... as long as they don't choose chickens which panic, die of cardiac arrest, and scare the hell out of the GIs.
2003-02-20 02:31:21 PM  
Those chickens have value. What a waste.

Strap Geraldo up there.
2003-02-20 02:31:58 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Great, our goose is cooked."
"Chicken, sir."
"Chicken, yes."
2003-02-20 02:34:52 PM  
Repeat. Coal miners did this 80-120 years ago with birds in cages.
2003-02-20 02:35:35 PM  
PETA members and people who complain about the use of chickens are autimatically drafted for Operation Human Shield
2003-02-20 02:42:14 PM  
Gee, why would they be doing this if Saddam didn't have any chemical weapons?

/hahaha flamewar
2003-02-20 02:43:59 PM  
We can avoid the whole mess by using these guys.

No PETA problem, and the military gets what they need.
2003-02-20 02:45:45 PM  
America's fighting sentinal chickens, protecting our country once again.
/cue cheesey B&W documentery
2003-02-20 02:48:45 PM  
anyone remember this? (has to be said as fast as possible)

2003-02-20 02:48:45 PM  
The reason they're doing this is because they're concerned that when Saddam's troops torch the oil fields that all the fumes from the burning oil will confuse the equipment used to detect chemical weapons.

My question is, wouldn't the acrid black smoke from the burning oil wells just choke the chickens?
2003-02-20 02:58:02 PM  
Her ya go Skiinstructor

[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-20 02:59:42 PM  
Sacofjoea looks like a chicken!
2003-02-20 03:00:50 PM  
good one
2003-02-20 03:01:01 PM  
he is ugly to!!
2003-02-20 03:01:59 PM  
too* - cant even be an educated douche!
2003-02-20 03:08:14 PM  

Why am I not surprised that you're the first to use the phrase "choke the checken"?

Seriously, why aren't they factoring in the desert heat, which is just around the corner? Seems to me that the high temps would kill fowl pretty quickly.
2003-02-20 03:09:58 PM  
your gay andre you *&% clown!!!!!!
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