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(BBSpot)   Man hopes Episode III doesn't ruin his childhood   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
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12570 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Feb 2003 at 12:45 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

196 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-21 02:19:00 AM  
geesh, huge fire at a club in my state (rhode island), 300-400 people where there, and at least 150 were sent to hospitals, and they just reported 10-20 people found dead at the front door, probably more inside.

/scared to go to clubs
2003-02-21 02:20:41 AM  

Honestly, I can't say I've ever heard of that book, but on your advice I will definitely check it out.


Personally, the Luke/Leia/Han love triangle you mentioned is the thing that led me to believe George Lucas was making it all up as he went along.
2003-02-21 02:20:46 AM  
In my personal opinion Jar-Jar Binks was THE worst thing to happen, not only to Star Wars, but to the history of man kind. I can not possibly express my morbid disgust of the very thought of him in mere words. *shudder*
2003-02-21 02:20:58 AM  
Pjdonnell: Mkfreeberg You ever thought about the possibility that a force-latent and and dark side wouldn't notice each other?

Yes, there's always some wiggle-room. Somewhere. It would appear that sticking to your knitting when writing Star Wars scripts is, not quite so much like a game of Jenga where you "blow it" with one bad move, but more like a game of Twister where your position becomes gradually more precarious until you get tired of holding it up.

I'm a big fan of wiggle-room. When people came out after Phantom Menace and said "Obi-Wan's ghost said Yoda was the master who instructed him, doesn't that mean Lucas blew it?" I was one of the first to say no, there's all kinds of ways to explain that. In criticizing the father-daughter thing in A New Hope, I'm drawing not so much on the lines from the movie script, but historical information about Lucas' vision when he made this movie versus the other movies, and comments from people who worked for him. Vader, as of this film, wasn't the father of Luke or Leia, and this caused problems with the story.

As you demonstrated, the problems aren't so big they can't be somehow explained...but they're still problems.
2003-02-21 02:21:14 AM  
'Member that part when they jumped to hyper-space ? That was awesome.

2003-02-21 02:23:38 AM  
TheOtherGuyFromWham, sorry I annoyed you.
2003-02-21 02:24:10 AM  

Ok, I got ya. But there were so many drafts and variants of that first Star Wars movie, that it makes my head hurt to think of all the possibilities.

Though I do think it would be extremely cool for Lucas to publish earlier drafts of the script. Think of it: "The Star Wars That Was Never Meant to Be!"
2003-02-21 02:24:47 AM  
If they're explained then they aren't problems. Sure the story was a work in progrss as it was being written. That doesn't mean there are plot holes. Just preconceived ideas that turned out to be false. That's not the definition of a plot hole.
2003-02-21 02:25:14 AM  
She insisted Luke was the superior character. And now she's a lesbian. Hmmm.

Like I said, Luke is teh gay! He could have shagged the emperor's hand, no, he rather spank his lightsaber...he is pathetic, and to be honest hamil didn't do the character any good....Harrison Ford just IS Han Solo...a scoundrel and most definitly a man's man.
2003-02-21 02:26:29 AM  

Apology accepted. Putting a little more thought in your posts in the future can do wonders to avoid annoying people. :p
2003-02-21 02:27:13 AM  
fark, i beg of you, give us another link. any link.

you know we all love han solo in star wars because h. ford was the only one who could act. sorta.
2003-02-21 02:27:16 AM  

Luke did shag the Emporer's Hand! They got married and had a kid, Ben!
2003-02-21 02:27:39 AM  
I was watching the newer movies and thinking "Wow, the acting in this movie is really terrible." So, I went out and rented the originals...and the acting was terrible in those too. Nostalgia is a powerful force.

I have no real point except this: Spiderman > Daredevil
2003-02-21 02:29:33 AM  
Yeah, Jar-Jar was the biggest disappointment for me in Episode I. (like many others) And for some reason, I can't understand why I find it easier to forgive the awkward acting by Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher than I can the acting by that Jake kid and Natalie Portman in Episode I?
2003-02-21 02:30:08 AM  

I would have liked Luke if he had not been so DAMNED whiny. ECH. I want to throttle him. There are moments when I think he's pretty kickass... but those are few and far between.

And to the rest of you...

Here's another thing that bugged the CRAP out of me. How in the hell was little Anakin Skywalker, little dirt-slave boy able to program a droid that knows all those millions of languages? I doubt the kid could have known more than 3 and I didn't see any sign of advanced computer technology or internet in his filthy little hovel.

"GEEEOOOORGGIIEE!!! You got some splainin' to do!"
2003-02-21 02:30:43 AM  
02-21-03 02:27:16 AM Pjdonnell

Luke did shag the Emporer's Hand! They got married and had a kid, Ben!

When was this? Sorry I have read alot of SW books but once the young jedi, we want to make money series came out I quit reading SW...I guess I missed out...but Luke is still a closet gay.
2003-02-21 02:30:43 AM  
Damn, someone already submitted a link for the Great White nightclub fire.

And here I was, all ready to go with my "Once Bitten, Twice Fried" headline.
2003-02-21 02:32:01 AM  
Do you suppose that Jabba the Hut made Leia touch his ding-ding?
2003-02-21 02:33:29 AM  
I'd really love to make fun of Star Wars fans right now, but I have no room to do so.

You see, I am a Dune fan. I have the directors' cut movie as taped from SciFi channel. I have the "new" miniseries as taped from same. I've read every book, including all four (at the moment) "prequels".

So go right ahead, gang. The sleepers must awaken.
2003-02-21 02:33:30 AM  
Farkwicket, i'm watching it on the local news, I live in RI.

They found people dead (10-20 or more) at the front door, supposedly the front door was trapping people in, but there were at least 2 other doors, and people were breaking windows to get out

They interviewed jack russell, the great white lead singer and he said his sound guy was "cooked" , face was peeling off, and they couldnt find one of their guitarists.

Nice headline btw heh
2003-02-21 02:33:44 AM  

Uh.... Force-sensitive people just know these things? Honestly, I can't come up with anything for that.

Although, Dark Horse's quarterly Star Wars comic book had an episode where Annie found Threepio's parts in Watto's junkyard. Basically, the body was intact, but the head was separated. I guess in this case, the programming was still stored in Threepio's memory, but then it downplays Annie being Threepio's "creator."
2003-02-21 02:34:37 AM  
OtherGuy, you may want to read up on things like this:

SS, please could you answer these questions? Wouldn't Vader be able to sense Luke and Leia through the Force? (SuperShadow: Yes, but you must remember that Lucas is making all this stuff up as he goes along so in Episode 4 Luke and Leia were not Vader's children. It wasn't until Lucas wrote Episode 5 that he decided to make Luke and Leia the children of Lord Vader.)

You're entitled to your opinion, but once the people on the inside are "'fessing up" that this stuff is being made up one chapter at a time, to me, it's time to admit there's an error. It doesn't mean Lucas did an awful job, or betrayed humanity in some way. It simply means there's a hole.

Keep in mind, this is the saga where people are trying to draw clues from previous movies, to figure out what's going to happen in the next movie...if things don't have to be consistent, and such inconsistencies are just "oopsies" that we should expect now and then, it has a bearing on what we should predict for the next movie. I'm not ragging on the movies, but there's a limit to what intellectual acrobats I'm going to pursue to try to avoid the dreaded pronouncement of "plot hole." I think it's established by now that there is one.

But you're entitled to your opinion.
2003-02-21 02:35:59 AM  
Here's another thing that bugged the CRAP out of me. How in the hell was little Anakin Skywalker, little dirt-slave boy able to program a droid that knows all those millions of languages? I doubt the kid could have known more than 3 and I didn't see any sign of advanced computer technology or internet in his filthy little hovel a logic chip, pre- made database....Any number of possibilities.

Teh thing that bugs me is that Darth Vader doesn't recognize his own creation, And that Jar Jar didn't get decapitated in the first 1 minute of ep1....which after watching it 5 times does kind of grow on you.
2003-02-21 02:36:05 AM  

Luke proposed to Mara at the end of Zahn's Vision of the Future, they got married in a Dark Horse comic book special, and had a kid in the New Jedi Order series.
2003-02-21 02:36:25 AM  
acrobats == acrobatics

Heh heh. Pursue some acrobats? Maybe if they look like Padme. :-)
2003-02-21 02:36:36 AM  
What's up with all the nightclub tragedies lately?

See, people oughta be stayin' home and reading Fark. Much safer.
2003-02-21 02:37:49 AM  
First of all, I know who SuperShadow is and he is hardly on the "inside". He's a guy with a website that just makes up fake SW news to see who buys it. And again, there's nothing in the films to suggest that Vader would have been able to just tell that Leia was his daughter. Not a plot hole.
2003-02-21 02:40:11 AM  
"Teh thing that bugs me is that Darth Vader doesn't recognize his own creation,"

Well, the only time they were even in the same room together in the original trilogy was in the carbon freezing chamber, where 3PO was in pieces on Chewie's back. So even if Vader, who completly denounced his Anakin persona did somehow recognize 3PO, what would you have him say? "Hey 3PO! I created you, dog! Let's have a beer after I freeze this farker."

2003-02-21 02:40:33 AM  
"Luke, in my opinion and definatly after reading a shiat load of books is just some gay metherfarker who never grabs a chic and always does "the right thing"..."

Actually he got with Mara Jade ( she better be in the sequels if they're ever made ). Maybe you missed that one in all the books you read.

But yeah, I never found Luke to be a likable hero. I find myself cheering on Anakin/Darth Vader or Obi-Wan more often because at least they're not fem-farmer-boys.

I only wish they could make a Shadows of the Empire movie. Sadly, it will never happen.
2003-02-21 02:40:39 AM  
Now, Splinter of the Mind's Eye, there's a book just filled with contradictions! 'Course, it was written around '78 or '79, before the trilogy was fully fleshed out...

(Luke constantly hitting on Leia, Vader not knowing who this "Luke Skywalker" is, Vader gets his leg cut off but doesn't get as worn out as he does when he loses his hand in Jedi...)
2003-02-21 02:42:52 AM  
Well the books don't matter anyway. Lucas doesn't pay any attention to them and doesn't even know about most of them. The films are completly separate from the books.
2003-02-21 02:43:48 AM  

Adding on to that, the protocol droid's all have standardized bodies and programming. Vader could easily have dismissed Threepio as being coincidentally similar to his own droid.
2003-02-21 02:44:21 AM  

Believe it or not I just sat here and wrote a beauty response to your response, it was glorious.. and then I forgot to type in my damned password. Alas, it is lost in the abyss of fark. I hope the future of your homeworld wasn't dependant on my opinion on the acting styles of said actors because there is no way in hell i am going to sit here and retype it all! HEH i need to go to bed. oy! SORRY! email me and we can take it up another time.


OH MY GOD. You are so right. DAMN YOU GEORGE LUCAS! I don't know who the FARK his editors were. The man ought to seek out true fans to proofread his scripts. Damn him. Damn him to hell.
2003-02-21 02:46:24 AM  
Leia was adopted! How about that? Plot hole fixed!
2003-02-21 02:48:19 AM  
Okay, well you could be right, like I said you have a perfect right to your own opinion.

If you have "dirt" on SuperShadow I'd be interested in seeing it...he does have enough to do with the production to be on the payroll, and to get that extra shot in Dex's Diner. That's not what I find convincing, though, it's the consistency with other things I already know to be true. Mark Hamill stated many years ago he was "briefed" on this whole father-was-a-navigator-on-a-spice-freighter thing, when the first movie was being made, and it appears to have been an ironclad commitment back then that Skywalker Sr. and Darth Vader were two different people. It is further known, today, that Star Wars stories are in a state of flux until VERY late in the for example, Padme was supposed to be "rubbed out" in the movies but Natalie Portman didn't want her character to die, so Lucas said Okay.

You can do stuff like that and still create a good story, but when that's the case you'll have some holes. I believe that by insisting Jedi can't "sense" things unless they're deliberately looking for them, you're creating even more holes...but that's my opinion.
2003-02-21 02:48:26 AM  
Andonbray, you know she wanted it. She had to have had the Jetson's equivalent of a Catholic upbringing. I've heard being reared by Priests can do strange things to the mind.
2003-02-21 02:48:32 AM  
I remember the glorious days of middle school. My friends and I even had a star wars club. I was president and my SW Club name was... DUH... Princess Leia. That was a damned good club, too! Man. We had all these complicated rules and forms and I thought we were really something. heh.

Ooo! And my best friend and I use to write star wars parodies of songs. Man, that was kickass. I long for the days... long before the prequels. well, not too long.
2003-02-21 02:50:24 AM  
02-21-03 02:40:39 AM Pjdonnell
Now, Splinter of the Mind's Eye, there's a book just filled with contradictions! 'Course, it was written around '78 or '79, before the trilogy was fully fleshed out...

Got that one...old yellow cover...and it does contradict almost everything...also leai and luke don't know they are related...pretty funny..

And in the books I have read Luke never really got with Luke, he always chickend out and left to be on his own..I must have missed a book or two.
2003-02-21 02:50:57 AM  

If I remember "Splinter" right, it was his arm that was cut off and not his leg. Luke was surprised at how little blood came out of the cauterized stump, which I found interesting at the time...

2003-02-21 02:51:15 AM  

LOL. No problem, I think I can survive. Yes, we will have to take this up another time. I have to go to bed too. Although I have a kid who will be up in a few hours, I find myself on Fark discussing Star Wars. Damn, as if I'm not addicted to enough things already......
2003-02-21 02:52:18 AM  
Well, it's been a few years since I read that one (7? 8?), but I know he lost a limb, and just kinda shrugged it off!
2003-02-21 02:52:19 AM  
On the payroll? LOL

Well anyway, my last word on the Leia thing, no Jedi or Sith has sensed anyone who wasn't using the Force. They didn't sense Luke for 20 years, until he started his training. There's no reason for anyone to have sensed Leia. Yes, the story was a work of progress but a plot hole is a contradiction or something that doesn't make sense. This doesn't qualify.
2003-02-21 02:52:46 AM  
I guess the key thing to think about in times like these is "suspension of disbelief". As much as we would like to believe that George Lucas is god.. he is not. He's just a human being like you... and me... and you over there... and maybe you, too. (Not so much the guy in the corner in the red shirt, though, I often wonder about him.) Star Wars is just a fictional universe and so, of course, not everything is totally believable and not everything fits or works right. (I never thought I of all people would be saying this.) So suspend your disbelief and enjoy the madness.
2003-02-21 02:53:33 AM  

And Jango Fett and Boba Fett are my favorite characters.

Uh, however they didn't expand on their histories very well.

And how the hell could they be the best bounty hunters in the universe if a Jedi could defeat them.

Pah, I say!
2003-02-21 02:54:20 AM  

(Not so much the guy in the corner in the red shirt, though, I often wonder about him.)

Hey! I always had nice things to say about you!
2003-02-21 02:55:47 AM  
I swear, if a new link isn't posted I'm going to have to go to bed.
2003-02-21 02:56:02 AM  
Eventhough I know the answer: "hard to see the dark side is" , it is kind of weird that a whole jedi council can't sense Senator Palpetine as being evil or catch on to his intrest in Anakin...and when Yoda said the boy is too old for training about anakin...I kinda went : "geez ep2 to ep5 and all you can come up with is the same damn line?!"..And I think lucas got tje jar jar hint when he lucky gave him almost zip screenplay in ep2, you can even see where in the film lucas went..."ok they hate him, make him stay there on and give him 3 lines, then just forget about him otherwise my house will be burnt down"...C3p0 I can live with...jar jar however should be mamed, shot, shot again and then quartered.
2003-02-21 02:57:15 AM  
Reactron - Yeah, I know a guy that was "reared" by a priest and he is still in therapy about it.
2003-02-21 02:57:52 AM  

At the risk of being totally out of line and sounding like a total flamer: WHOA! Lula.. you are a total babe! Hot mama!! yikes! I just clicked on your profile and oooo. 8^D Good night.
2003-02-21 02:58:15 AM  
"And how the hell could they be the best bounty hunters in the universe if a Jedi could defeat them."

Um, because he's a farking Jedi? :p
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