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(Some Spontn80) Video "Dear Daddy, Here's what I should have said to you." DIT   ( divider line
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8409 clicks; posted to Main » and Video » on 21 Jun 2009 at 10:50 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2009-06-21 8:02:30 AM  
Happy Father's Day

I did this last year and it was, I think, a really cool thread.

Link (new window)

Let's do it again.

He wasn't around when I was a kid, after 20 years we found him again, roughly a year later he got shot dead after robbing a bank.

This is what I would have, should have said.

Our broken relationship made me a better Dad

Thanks for listening.

What would you say to your Dad if you could?
2009-06-21 8:03:59 AM  
Dear Daddy,

Here's what I should have said to you
Even though it's much too late
It's what I should have said but didn't
I was blinded by false hate

Everybody missed you, when you ran away
And I understand now, why you couldn't stay
It's all right, it's all right, it's all right

Then when I saw you, after all those years
You said my hair's too long, and you kissed my ears
I tried to call you Daddy, but it had been too long
The words sound so strange now, that you're forever gone
It's all right, it's all right, it's all right

And now it's my turn, I'm gonna be a Dad
That would have made you Grandpa,
and I wonder what you would have said
Would you've been happy or would you've been sad
Would it have brought back bad memories you had

You tried to pacify us with all your dreams
You had some good ones, some of the best I've seen
It's all right, it's all right, it's all right

So rest easy Daddy, you've been through a lot
Now all that's left are the memories we've got
It's all right, it's all right, it's all right

copyright © 2009 dan grigor
all rights reserved
2009-06-21 8:48:44 AM  
Happy Father's day to you Uncaspont. You make a great pappo.
2009-06-21 9:18:35 AM  
Luckily my father is still here.

I tell him how much I love and cherish him ever time I talk to him.

/was blessed with a wonderful family
2009-06-21 9:32:27 AM  
Where the hell are you daddy, that's what I'm sayin'
Down on my knees and tears and I'm prayin'
Wishing and hoping my dreams could come true
So I could feel like the other kids do
A young child but not complete as a whole
Before I was born you up and strolled
Mama was there but you was up in the wind
You never even knew my name and then
You never wrote, called, let alone came by
As a youth it was hard to wonder why
But now I'm older and I don't dwell on self pity
Thinking about the life you didn't give me
I remember when I used to tell lies
When people would ask I'd just fantasize
Thinking of stories to make you look good
But the real truth was you was never no good
People would say I looked just like you
But rest assured I don't act like you
I'm more than that, my mama raised me better
And you can best believe I'm much more together
So belive that....
2009-06-21 9:33:14 AM  
It's been said you gave me something you never had
But that's not always true and it's sad
To find myself missing you when I did
But who knows the reasons why you did what you did
I can't help but wonder why
You lived your life as a big fat lie
You act like you had no responsibilities
'Cause if you did it's a bet that you wouldn't be
Stealin' beggin' hustlin' and schemin'
You could'a got a job
But did you know the meaning of work
I'm talking about an honest day's pay
But you was too lazy to be that way
Always trying to take the easy route
That's what they tell me, so I don't doubt
It for a moment, not for a sec
Because you lacked all your self respect
But it's too late for you that is
Tomorrow I'll be going on about my biz
And so it's time to put the past behind
Erase the anger and clear my mind
I want to forget the little bit I know
And make sure that I never sink so low
'Cause I want my kids to grow up and know
That I was always there because I loved them so
And that's the least thing that I can do
But that's a lot more than I got from you
2009-06-21 9:44:28 AM  
Dear dad...

Thanks for teaching me about women, just think "what would dad do" and then do the opposite.

You were a bit of a horndog slimeball, really bad husband, but you loved ma and tried to raise me right.

I miss ya.
2009-06-21 11:35:57 AM  
To my real father : You are a coward, a manipulator and a liar. I hope to fully forget you soon.

To my step-father : You are a controlling, condescending asshole who never listens. Threaten me and my husband again and you will regret it.
2009-06-21 11:37:42 AM  
My dad passed away 23 years ago and I still miss him. I'm just glad he got to meet my son before he died. God Bless all the dads that work hard and take care of your kids, not matter what happens. All of you dead beats can rot in HELL!
2009-06-21 11:38:27 AM  
Thanks for spending most of my life calling me "you f*cking moron" and telling me I was useless. There's a reason my life didn't start going in the right direction until after you and Mom died.
2009-06-21 11:39:22 AM  
as the dad of a 4 year old son, I'm not getting a kick out of these replies at all...
2009-06-21 11:39:27 AM  
My father was a prick and I'd beat him to a pulp if I ever ran into him again.
2009-06-21 11:42:20 AM  
I think my Dad and I have said all that needs to be said. So I'd just say Happy Father's Day, and thanks for everything. :3

icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2009-06-21 11:43:32 AM  
Dear Dad, you're a great guy but I think you could have protected us from Mom a bit more than you did. Then again, you're the one still being tortured by her. If you ever want to run away and hide from her, we can help you disappear here on the other coast. You can have your own pocket money and nobody will ever force you to eat horsemeat again.
2009-06-21 11:44:47 AM  
Yes Dad, it is that time of year again. That time when I go to Fark and talk shiat about you, but not this year.
This year you are dead. least that's what I told my employer so that I could get a few days off for some much needed sleep and masturbation.
So here's to you Dad. You finally did something for me. My only regret is that I can only pretend you died once. Unless I get different job that is.
2009-06-21 11:45:59 AM  
If I can be half the father that you were to me, my kids will be alright.

/miss you still
2009-06-21 11:46:11 AM  
Way to bone out at the worst possible time.
2009-06-21 11:46:15 AM  

FunkOut: Dear Dad, you're a great guy but I think you could have protected us from Mom a bit more than you did. Then again, you're the one still being tortured by her. If you ever want to run away and hide from her, we can help you disappear here on the other coast. You can have your own pocket money and nobody will ever force you to eat horsemeat again.

So your mom feeds the meat in the family? I'm sorry :(
2009-06-21 11:46:21 AM  
Dad, you had the right idea. You had good intentions, and you really loved us. Thank you for that.

Your life did not end well. You lived a life of excess and suffered the consequences. We saw you at your worst. While I wish I could have had a father who stood strong and led by example, I still love you.

Rest in peace.
2009-06-21 11:46:36 AM  
I'm sorry.
2009-06-21 11:46:40 AM  
i farked your mom
2009-06-21 11:54:18 AM  
Dear Pa,

I wish I had the courage to ask the questions I should have asked while you were still here with us.

Is it true?

/don't wait
//suck it up, take a shot, and ASK!
2009-06-21 11:55:57 AM  
I left a letter for you in your casket. I'm so sorry. I love you.
2009-06-21 11:56:10 AM  
Dear Dad,
The only reason we talk is because I'm financially dependent on you. No, this is not an angry phase, it's what I've wanted since I was kid.

Love! Son.
2009-06-21 11:57:46 AM  

I have so many friends in the arts whose parents were shocked, offended, or disgusted at the career path they chose. Thank you for being different and always supporting me and telling me to follow my bliss.
2009-06-21 11:57:57 AM  
Stop touching my peepee.
2009-06-21 12:00:52 PM  
To my ex: Thanks for failing to show up for or even send a card your oldest son's HS graduation, you stupid, self-centered prick.

To my hubby: Thanks for raising and supporting my sons when their "father" wouldn't. And thanks to *your* father who took 40 people out to a very nice place for my son's graduation celebration.
2009-06-21 12:03:13 PM  
To the man who was briefly married to my mother 41 years ago.

Note that I did not call you father or Dad because you never were one. Even when you were there, you weren't.

I want to thank you. Because of all the things you weren't, I have become. My children have never gone to bed at night wondering where there daddy is, they have never stood by the door with their bag waiting for dad to pick them up for the weekend and have you not come to get them. They have never had to look up into the stands at a game or a dance recital wondering if I am there. They have never been called a mistake. They have never had to go without because mom lost her job and there were no child support checks coming in. They have never had bruise to hide from friends because of smacks with belts or paddles. Because of you I am a Daddy to three of the most beautiful little girls in the world (and a fourth baby in heaven), all of whom will never know your name.

2009-06-21 12:04:43 PM  
Dear Dad,

If you had to be drunk all the time, did you have to drink cheap red wine? Good God, man. Show some class!
2009-06-21 12:09:05 PM  
dear Dad,

thanks for splitting when i was 3, and setting me up for half a lifetime of male approval-seeking and disfunctional relationships. thanks for giving me "damaged goods" status that made me easy pickings for every dumb fark that came along.
2009-06-21 12:09:15 PM  
Wow, bitter. It's no wonder therapists make so much money.

With that said, My Dad pulled a disappearing act when I was a baby too. However, I'm happy he did, he sucked at being a Dad from what I can piece together. I'm not angry nor do I hold him responsible for anything. I'm a better person for it.

/I do hope he's gotten better at being a Dad for my half siblings sake.
2009-06-21 12:12:56 PM  
Hey dad - it's nice to be finally getting to know you a bit better. I just wish you wouldn't play favourites with us kids, though. After more than 30 years, it still hurts us.

But know that I love you very much, and I wish you could have been around more.
2009-06-21 12:13:23 PM  
Dear dad:

I'm glad I get to spend another Father's Day being able to talk with you on the phone. When you were diagnosed with IPF 5 years ago, I wasn't sure how many Father's days, birthdays, holidays or even just quiet afternoons we would have together. Then in January when you were diagnosed with prostate cancer, again I was not sure how long we would have. I am thankful for each and every day I get to have with you. You are bravely fighting IPF and have been kicking cancer's ass - never, ever give up!!

You have been there for me through the great times and the really horrible times. When I fell off my bike, you were there with a hug and a band aide. When I went off to college, you were there to load up the van and take all my crap up as well as to drive up on football weekends to hang out at Papa Joes with me. When I found myself in an abusive relationship, you never gave up on me and helped me escape and restart my life. You were supportive of the first marriage, and supportive when it ended. You were there through everything with the hysterectomy, the bipolar and all the issues all of that brought. You helped me move to KY to start over again, and are very supportive of my new life here. You have never given up on me, especially when everyone else did or when I did.

You taught me the joys of reading, taking long drives at the spur of the moment, doing things for others because it is the right thing to do, cooking, gardening and how awesome sci fi books are. You encourage me to explore my love of music and art, to be creative and color outside the lines and to make my own paths in this world. You went with me to art exhibits, golf tournaments, all my orchestra concerts and musicals in school without every biatching once. You instilled how important family and friends are, to never sacrifice yourself or your beliefs, and to always be the person who does the right thing. You let me be me.

I know Grandpa was never there for you. He was battling demons of his own, and unfortunately one of those was your biological mom who died so young. Grandpa didn't know how to take care of you or even himself. When he married Margie, she wanted you all to be a family, but Grandpa wouldn't let that happen. Over the years you tried so hard to make us all family, but Grandpa wouldn't let it happen. It wasn't until near the end of his life when he allowed himself to have you back as his son, and allowed you and your brother to be equal. After grandpa died, Grandma Margie told us all many things, and was finally allowed to embrace you as her son. I know you miss her dearly,a s do we all.

Thank you for celebrating a very happy and wonderful day with me in January and for standing beside me!

You have done so much for so many, from family you cared for in their golden years, to kids who just needed a shoulder to lean on, to me through my darkest hours and suicide attempts. You never let go, left or gave up.

You have stood by Mom through 45 years of marriage, your love for each other growing every day. Sometimes it was tough, but again, you never let go, left or gave up.

I am thankful to have you and mom, and for every day I get to talk with you, see you or get emails and texts from you. I can never tell you thank you enough. Thank you for being my hero, my parent when I need it, my friend when I asked, and my dad all the time. Love ya, old man...

i46.photobucket.comView Full Size
2009-06-21 12:16:32 PM  
My dad went to the big Irish pub in the sky in 1997. He was only 56 and I still have a tough time forgiving him for dying on me like that. I wasn't finished yet.

He was a wonderfully twisted person with such an odd sense of humor and such a brilliant mind. He was the kind of guy who would stop and talk to an elderly woman, hold the door for a stranger, teach his dog to balance a treat on its nose, imitated James Brown in a band called the Brothers Ugly, built his own house, was a great artist, could be mean as a snake if you crossed a member of his family, was bigger than life and sang out of tune.

He was my hero.

I couldn't tell him anything now that I didn't already tell him in life. I loved and revered my old man and will 'til the day I die.

Happy Father's Day, farker dads. Hold on to your kids like they owe you money.
2009-06-21 12:17:12 PM  
Why did you and mom split up? We had a perfect life, I had a perfect childhood, then when I was 10, bam it was gone. All you ever said to me when I was young was that someday I would understand why people split up. Here it is almost 40 years later and I still don't understand. I've been with my husband since I was 15, we never fell out of love, we never split up, we never even thought about it. No, I still don't understand and I hope I never do.

I try to remember what a great dad you were for 10 years and forget the utter selfish drunken bastard you were for the rest of your miserable life.

/glad your grand-daughter never knew you
2009-06-21 12:17:58 PM  

Chicken Fried Internets: Wow, bitter. It's no wonder therapists bar owners make so much money.

2009-06-21 12:18:48 PM  
Dear Dad, please don't come back as a zombie and eat everyones brains. that is all.
2009-06-21 12:19:58 PM  

liverleef: Dear Dad, please don't come back as a zombie and eat everyones brains. that is all.

2009-06-21 12:20:18 PM  
My dad sent me a text message this morning about something unrelated and I just tacked "Oh also: HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!" onto the end of my response. This is what I should have said (but never will because we both have that old "if I show any affection for you other than a quick hug and a mumbled 'i love you' it's awkward" vibe going on in our relationship):

Dear Dad,

Since I moved out to go to college I've realized that the reason we don't get along very well most of the time is that we're too much alike. We're both stubborn and opinionated and don't like taking shiat from other people, but we don't always agree so we butt heads all the time when we're together. But I also realize now that you gave me some of your best traits and as I get older I find myself wishing that I could be more like you.

So in spite of all the horrible things I've called you over the years, and all the stupid stuff we've both done and said to each other, I still love you and I know you love me too. You wouldn't believe how much I miss just sitting back and enjoying a beer with you while listening to some of your stories (you spin a great yarn).

Let's see each other again soon.

Your daughter
2009-06-21 12:20:25 PM  
My dad and I aren't the types that say "I love you" or such. But I hope he knows that I'm the man I am today because of the type of man he's always shown me I should be.

There's none better than you, dad. You don't say it, but you show it in more ways than I think even you know. I love you, dad.

/I also hope he reads this, because I will never say it to his face.
2009-06-21 12:20:35 PM  

Thanks for your judgemental asshattery... Your LDS/Christian inspired racism, love for o'rielly and lumbaugh and your NRA approved republican membership really drove me away. I tried to stay the fark away from you.

I hoped that worked but god, why in the hell did you hire people to find us?

Are you that dense? Do you really think that your blood relation to me is enough for me to ignore your black-hole of stupidity?

Keep it up, and I'll get a restraining order.

Good luck farking up my neices and nephew with your vitriol,

Your estranged Son.
2009-06-21 12:21:15 PM  
My son arrived last night, just in time for Father's Day. He is spending the summer here, before returning to school. Can't ask for a better gift than that.

For MY father, I's say the years of physical abuse you gave me, while also molesting my sister during the same period, taught me all the things a father SHOULDN'T be.

I thank you for that. Now I have to happy, smart, well adjusted kids who won't have to spend their young adult years fighting through all the horrible baggage left on them by their shiatty parents.

Father's Day is a great reminder of how good it is now.
2009-06-21 12:24:16 PM  
Dear dad,

I wish I'd gotten to spend more time with you before the Alzheimer's kicked in. I wish I hadn't biatched as much when I had to help take care of you in your old age. You were the man and I loved you, and I never told you that enough.

Dear biological dad,

I guess thanks for leaving me with your awesome father-in-law and fark you for leaving me with your batshiat crazy mother-in-law. Quit drinking and ending up in jail every month or so and maybe the rest of us would have something to do with you.
2009-06-21 12:24:45 PM  

phenn: Your dad is a handsome dude. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you - he is a great guy.

And thank you for sharing, too!
2009-06-21 12:26:36 PM  
Dear Dad;
You taught me the love of the outdoors and how to ride a motorcycle. That a man works for what he wants and never accepts a handout.

You worked 3 jobs one year to make the bills while Mom had one of her 'sodes' again. You never ever thought of leaving her manipulative,lazy, drama queen ass. When she left with her boyfriend when I was 11 you were nearly overwhelmed with grief, I will never understand what you saw in the women. The fact that you recovered and moved on speaks volumes to your inner strength.

All of my children have learned to camp and fish and they love it. All of them have their own trail bikes so they too can enjoy the freedom of riding. The core values of honor, truth and integrity that you taught me are being passed on.

I love ya, and hope I am half the man you are.
2009-06-21 12:28:20 PM  

Thanks for putting up with me when I was a know-it-all teenage asshole. Thank you for working your ass off, doing jobs you hated because you love you family. Thank you (and Mom) for showing me what a loving family is. Thank you for showing me what it is to be a good and decent man. Lastly, thanks for still being here. (I'm going to the wake for my friend's dad in 1 1/2 hours.)

My father is not perfect. He has many faults as we all do, but he does the best he can.
2009-06-21 12:28:37 PM  
Die alone, prick.
2009-06-21 12:29:09 PM  
Dear Dad,
I miss you so much. I'm glad that we had those months together before you died. Now that it's been a few years, I can really realize how much of an impact you had on my life. So much of who I am, I am because of you, and I thank you for it. You were the best father I could have ever asked for, and I only hope that you knew how much I loved you and that you heard my cries of "I love you Daddy" while you were dying.
2009-06-21 12:30:40 PM  

braedan: (I'm going to the wake for my friend's dad in 1 1/2 hours.)

Shame. I'm sorry.
2009-06-21 12:32:17 PM  
Thanks for making sure that I'll never have kids because I refused to f*ck up their minds the way you and Mom f*cked up mine. I only wish the two of you were able to see me graduate magna cum laude so I could look you in the eye in front of everybody and say "who's the f*cking moron now, you bitter, hateful prick?"
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