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(AZCentral)   Man blames leaders of polygamist church for influencing his wife's decision to divorce him   ( azcentral.com) divider line
    More: Ironic  
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3953 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2003 at 11:03 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

66 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-18 08:48:35 PM  
There's no difference between this or if his wife divorced him to marry a guy that was currently single.

You lost to the competition, dude. Get over it.

On another note, I'm in need of a couple wives.
2003-02-18 11:05:12 PM  

congrats to submitter
2003-02-18 11:06:21 PM  
Uh oh, 2 Ironic tags in a row...

*gets popcorn*
2003-02-18 11:07:13 PM  
I wish I had seven wives, or at least a church.
2003-02-18 11:08:05 PM  
"Alienation of affection" when your're a polygamist?!?

[image from images.southparkstudios.com too old to be available]
2003-02-18 11:10:32 PM  
in a religion where it is condoned to have more than one wife...this man has none...what a loser..
2003-02-18 11:11:36 PM  
My brother-in-law was married to a mormon woman (normal human mormon, not fundie) and they divorced. Then they remarried (had to get special "permisson" from the "church".) A couple of years later they got divorced - with the church paying for the divorce. Sounds like a GREAT place!
2003-02-18 11:15:32 PM  
I smell a Mormon-bashing thread brewing.
2003-02-18 11:19:47 PM  
Somebody's gone retarded with the use of the ironic tag.
2003-02-18 11:23:26 PM  
What do William Shakespear, Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill have in common? They are all members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, all made members of the faith, after death, through the church doctrine of posthumous baptism.

Okay let bashing begin.
2003-02-18 11:23:55 PM  
I think the "ironic" tag should only be used in a situationj where its truly horribly ironic. "Mechanic gets hit by bus he fixed an hour earlier" that would be ironic.
2003-02-18 11:25:48 PM  
Damned Mormons...

I'd hit it.
2003-02-18 11:25:51 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
Actual correct use of the ironic tag. Hell freezes over.
2003-02-18 11:25:57 PM  
Thats crap that they made those people members after death. Thats just for publisizing your religion. Damn, they shouldnt be able to do that.
2003-02-18 11:28:18 PM  
Mike_from_accounting--Is that a name from Dilbert? I think it is. wait, no its not, the accountants in Dilbert are trolls, Mike resides in Marketing.
2003-02-18 11:28:42 PM  
Thats crap that they made those people members after death. Thats just for publisizing your religion. Damn, they shouldnt be able to do that.

Someone needs to look up the word "posthumous" in the dictionary.

I even did the work for you.
2003-02-18 11:31:11 PM  
As I was walking to st ides
I met a man with seven wives
of course those seven wives weren't his
but here in france, that's how it is

2003-02-18 11:35:07 PM  
Thats crap that they made those people members after death.

Ha! I've got news for them all: I've made them all members of the Church of Farkism, through the Church's Doctrine of Baptism in absentia.

So, either they're all going to hell, or coming along with us, or maybe both.
2003-02-18 11:35:26 PM  
yes, baptism after death which means they are exploiting the popularity of the person to increase awareness of their religion. I'm not saying the religion itself is bad, just that practice. I'm a Catholic but I don't agree with a lot of things the church does, especially that part about little boys.
2003-02-18 11:39:54 PM  
Just to keep the records straight, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is NOT the same chrurch as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

And don't ever drive through Colorado City, Arizona. It's hella creepy.

But the mormon bashing does get old.
2003-02-18 11:41:55 PM  
I'm Henry the 8th I am,
Henry the 8th I am I am.
I got married to the woman next store,
she's was married one time before.
That guy was not a Henry HENRY !
He neither was a Willy or a Sam.
I'm the 8th old man, I'm Henry,
Henry the 8th I am !


2003-02-18 11:42:05 PM  
When your wife leaves you for another man, in order to be his second choice, who's in worse shape...you, or her? :\
2003-02-18 11:43:27 PM  
"they are exploiting the popularity of the person to increase awareness of their religion"
They also baptise people who aren't well known :P
Anyways they claim they need to baptize people so that when they are in heaven they can still join... Why can't the people in heaven(spirit world :P) do that?
2003-02-18 11:44:31 PM  
Mechanic gets hit by bus he fixed an hour earlier.

That's not really irony. Irony would be if he refused to fix the bus, and then it hit him because of whatever he didn't fix.
2003-02-18 11:45:48 PM  
Clearly their god isn't powerful enough to pull that off. It requires the intercession of some church bureaucrats in Salt Lake City.
2003-02-18 11:46:01 PM  
I got married to the woman next store,
Next door... foo. Pathetic!
2003-02-18 11:46:25 PM  
I understand that the baptizing is not limited to those certain people, that they baptize other dead people as well, but unless they had permission from a loved one or the person before death, I don't believe they should be doing that. It is a persons choice weather they want to follow "God's" way or not. Its not the church's choice.
2003-02-18 11:49:11 PM  
I believe they get permission to baptize from their victim's descendants. It is the reason for the LDS interest in genealogy.
2003-02-18 11:54:40 PM  
This would've never happened had the man practiced safe dry-humping.
2003-02-18 11:55:16 PM  
Next door... foo.

:D saved me the trouble.

What do William Shakespear, Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill have in common? They are all members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, all made members of the faith, after death, through the church doctrine of posthumous baptism.

Okay let bashing begin.

That's nothing, they've baptized most of the Norse Pantheon, which means they have to acknowledge them as actual *people* at the very least.
2003-02-18 11:56:57 PM  
Well the people they baptize still have a "choice" once they get to heaven.
Of course if God threatened me with hell or heaven I wouldn't really consider that a choice :P
I'm not sure they get permission. I never did temple work. I "was" one of those mormons who didn't believe in magic. So wearing garments,rubbing oil in hair, dipping people in water just seemed silly.
2003-02-18 11:57:14 PM  
"I got married to the woman next store,
Next door... foo. Pathetic!"
Honest question. how many times have you seen headlines with spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, that are not ironic, that use the same tired cliches ?

Welcome to Fark.com.

2003-02-18 11:58:01 PM  
if they have permission from a relative/descendant/whatever-the-hell then I have no problem with it.
2003-02-19 12:01:50 AM  
Glad you're okay with it, Straws, but I wonder if the baptized are okay with it.

Fr. Peter, how can I be baptized into the Church of Farkism? I think I'm ready.
2003-02-19 12:06:01 AM  
The correct lyrics:

I'm Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry
Henry the eighth I am
2003-02-19 12:13:28 AM  
I give credit to Skinink for banging in the lyrics (or rough approximation thereof) by hand, even though the web is at your fingertips, and google is happy to search for the correct lyrics.
2003-02-19 12:20:08 AM  
You're too late, lad. The first time I saw your handle I baptized you with the special incantation "ready or not, don't look now, you're in."
2003-02-19 12:38:38 AM  
Thanks, Fr._Peter_Fitznuggly. Really;
1) had to modify the lyrics to fit the story. He couldn't been The eigth Henry.
2)Previous post. One word wrong **shrug**. If you've been on Fark long enough, you'd realize the less accurate the spelling is , the more likely your headline will be posted. Trust me on this one. And use sunblock.
3)Just came back from the bar, full of Heinekens. 'nuff said.
Besides, my Fark ID is in the 22,000. Cut me a little slack for senority ?
2003-02-19 12:49:30 AM  
You guys who are saying he lost his wife to another man are missing the point. What's got him upset--I think rightly--is the church told her to do it. The church there is *VERY* controlling (the word "cult" comes to mind in describing their behavior of the last few years) and they are trying to isolate their members from anyone who doesn't agree with them. His is certainly not the only marriage torn up by this.
2003-02-19 01:40:12 AM  
Well, what I got from it was that he was a former member of the "church" and that he felt they brain washed her to marry this other guy and become wifey #2. Article wasn't very clear though.
2003-02-19 01:41:43 AM  
Having had the misfortune to be born into a family whose fundamentalist church one could be kicked out of for lapses like going bowling, attending baseball games, or bathing in the same pool or body of water as the opposite sex at the same time, far from me to criticize any religions' absurdities. Talking burning bushes, prehistoric New World calvalry battles, aliens in spacecraft, okay, sure.

Still the idea of having one's religion changed after death bothers me. My poor grandfather could end up getting dragged from his Church of God of Prophecy heaven (IIRC from sunday school, eternally singing God's praises while sitting around a table consuming unbounded quantities of pie - there's a heaven for you, gosh, just think, unlimited pie!), into a Church of The Latter Day Saints's reward, which I understand would consist of the joy of continuing to toil hard and selflessly, working away in a long process of improving himself spiritually.

Personally, I don't know whether I would be relieved from what would otherwise have to be either incredible boredom or having been changed into a moron, or not.

2003-02-19 01:44:40 AM  
I'm putting in my will that nobody can baptize me after I'm dead. Farking mormons. Thats just rude. And doubly so, if one great great great great grand-son or daughter happens to be mormon, it can't traverse up the tree. What about the rest of the decendents that think it's a nutball idea by a nutball cult that calls itself a mainstream religion?
2003-02-19 01:48:36 AM  
the reason why they baptise dead people is because in the morman religion we belive that you must be baptised to make it into heaven. thats it. not for plublicity or nothing.
2003-02-19 01:53:18 AM  
mormans do not practice polygamy. they did for a few years back when america faught mexico and alot of the men died and in our religion we belive that to be in heaven you should be married. so shut up already you farkers.
2003-02-19 02:49:24 AM  
Bambam, and if someoen has a beleif that being baptised by a different religion bars them from heaven?...
2003-02-19 03:32:36 AM  
According to the mormon church they don't baptize people into the church persay against their will. They have someone living get baptized in their name, and the person whos already dead chooses if they want to accept the gospel.
2003-02-19 04:41:41 AM  
you know what i like about the mormon relgion? The part where it is all a lie.

The part where Joseph Smith was arrested on fraud-like charges (forget what the word was), before he made up his religion. The part where even his own texts contradicts each other.

Or how about so much of the book of mormon being proven obviously false through archaelogical finds??

Oh i know. These are facts proven by men. These facts are insignificant.
2003-02-19 05:08:04 AM  
This has got to be the worst Mormon bashing thread I have ever read.

Where's your spirit, people?

Personally, I am eternally grateful to the LDS church for all the vital records they have preserved. An invaluable, and free resource for genealogists (usually as crazy as your average mormon)I don't think my methodist minister ancestors who were imprisoned and persecuted for their religion would approve of posthumous baptism at all, tho.
2003-02-19 06:09:47 AM  
not even anything in here to argue with.
You gentiles are losing....
2003-02-19 06:22:29 AM  
"Fundamentalist LDS"

That sort of oxymoronic statement made it impossible to finish the article.

When is divorce "fundamentalist" in any way? Isn't LDS totally fundamentalistic? Heck, apostasy is just as bad for LDS as it is for Wahabi Muslims...LOL

Fundamentalist LDS...that's like getting shot, and then shot again the same entry wound.

This sort of thing is LDS's own worst enemy: They espouse everything the modern, evolved, reformed Mormon says...except the plural marriage...and that they hold onto the more embarassing parts of the church it is working hard to forget about and move on from.

To the average person, there's no difference.
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