If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Witty Tirade)   President Bush buys ten rolls of duct tape   ( wittytirade.net) divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

7926 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Feb 2003 at 9:55 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

44 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-02-17 09:25:28 AM  
Witty. Yes, um...... Not really.
2003-02-17 09:56:35 AM  
Micron rating?
2003-02-17 09:56:55 AM  
Republicans are swine.
2003-02-17 09:59:18 AM  
What is Joe Millionaires Secret?
2003-02-17 10:00:03 AM  
That was witty satire? 3rd graders could be more creative than the idiot who wrote this.

Republicans are swine, Democrats are anti-American. It's all the same. THey all suck.
2003-02-17 10:04:17 AM  
I had fun with duct tape and plastic sheeting last night at work. The electrical boxes and controls needed to be covered up for the guys with the pressure washers cleaning up the place.

Well... people were asking me what I was doing with boxes of duct tape and taping plastic sheeting everywhere. This is Kansas, where they teach kids more about religion and witchcraft in school than science and the real world. A light bulb went off *grin* ...so I related the beginnings of a little known fact that one of the things we gave /bin/laden, or was that Sadam, was information how to distribute anthrax through electrical power lines along with the other weapons of destruction the CIA sold him. And we weren't taking any chances and covering up all the conduit and electrical boxes with duct tape and plastic sheeting just like the Department of Homeland Security requested.

The pasty white faces of some folks were priceless.
2003-02-17 10:04:42 AM  
When will I learn to read the comments before I read the article? *sigh*
2003-02-17 10:06:03 AM  
This article wasted 1 minute of my life. I want it back.

Ah screw it, I'd just spend it masturbating anyway.
2003-02-17 10:06:15 AM  
I wonder when the men wearing dark suits will be showing up on Dattaway's doorstep. They are humour-challenged!
2003-02-17 10:06:36 AM  
Joe Millionaires Secret.......
2003-02-17 10:08:12 AM  
Maybe it'll be like that last episode of cheers when Sam rips his hair off...surprise!
2003-02-17 10:09:24 AM  
is anyone else annoyed by satire? its just not teh funnay anymore :(
2003-02-17 10:12:12 AM  
I don't know why they took that story, and not this much better story. The idea of Bush freaking over his own fake terror alert is mildly amusing, though. One thing is certain. It's not just whackos with cabins in the woods buying survival gear now. Survivalist shops are patying like it's 1999.
2003-02-17 10:12:15 AM  
Dattaway -- so you're the one who started that rumor -- now all the Brits are running around looking for "suspicious lightbulbs."
2003-02-17 10:12:50 AM  
Could you scaredy cats please stop panic buying duct tape? I'm a colossal pervert and can't go about my seedy, nefarious activities without it.
2003-02-17 10:13:46 AM  
How many Brits does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2003-02-17 10:23:59 AM  
Not.Very.Witty. Kinda dumb. Woulda worked better with a hillbilly like Clinton.
2003-02-17 10:30:07 AM  
Red Green is unamused.
2003-02-17 10:35:03 AM  
This article actually sucked the humor out of me through my eyes.
2003-02-17 10:37:09 AM  
Not nearly as good as the "White Rapper Chastised For Use Of The 'C'-Word" article in the entertainment section. Freakin hilarious!
2003-02-17 10:41:28 AM  
2003-02-17 10:46:10 AM  
Not at all funny.
2003-02-17 10:47:00 AM  
Dattaway, time to open your door. The prper authorities are waiting outside.

[image from people.cornell.edu too old to be available]

2003-02-17 10:48:28 AM  
Did anyone laugh?

Complete waste of time.

Hmm well I'm posting this so I guess I can't say anything about wasting time :)
2003-02-17 11:00:08 AM  
That was a waste of time. Why did it get past the mods?
2003-02-17 11:20:24 AM  
is anyone else annoyed by satire? its just not teh funnay anymore :(>br>Satire, along with Rock n' Roll, has been overdone to death some time ago. Move on folks.
2003-02-17 11:24:41 AM  
I always thought that satire involeved some sort of comedy... Guess I was wrong.
2003-02-17 11:26:01 AM  
Next time, I'll spellcheck too. "i-n-v-o-l-v-e-d"
2003-02-17 11:46:16 AM  
I am predicting there will be a strong market for duct tape glue remover in the near future.

With a great surplus of this stuff, you know there will be pranks of duct taping car doors shut and the like.
2003-02-17 12:29:50 PM  
GeeDub needs the duct tape to wrap his dead ferret before he farks it...you know, so it won't explode.
2003-02-17 12:39:46 PM  
I thought satire was supposed to make people laugh....
2003-02-17 12:57:34 PM  
Irony has been beaten to death "now more than ever". She's dead Jim. (Only bloody cliche phrase NOT erased by the filter....)
2003-02-17 01:02:12 PM  

Can't somebody put this website out of its misery?
2003-02-17 02:28:02 PM  
The current US president represents what I hope is the bottom of the barrel of people who are capable of getting into the White House (there are worse people out there, but hopefully they're not capable of, er, assuming power). In light of this, it just isn't that hard to write a decent satirical piece about such a cowardly elitist moron. He practically writes the satirist's material for hir. That this piece failed to take advantage of all the primo material out there on our fearless leader makes it extra-lame.
2003-02-17 02:38:55 PM  
bush is a funny guy ...
[image from bushwatch.com too old to be available]
2003-02-17 03:15:01 PM  
Muck, I've never seen a democrat ever try to cut spending, except for military spending. Clinton decimated the military.
2003-02-17 04:42:12 PM  
MacG...good point. Want to explain what that has to do with anything? Because, God knows, it's more important to have the ability to blow the world up 300 times over, than the ability to blow up the world 250 times over, and not be bleeding money like a stuck pig.

Um...did I just defend Clinton??!?!

Gawd, now I guess I just wait for the other six signs.
2003-02-17 04:42:30 PM  
Hey all of you Bush people .... Did you say that this man was one who brought people together ... what a farking laugh!

Now what is your come back! Another swipe at Clinton.
What a sorry bunch of FOOLS.
2003-02-17 04:57:06 PM  
Lemme clarify ... I can understand a little dip towards a deficit or even if it went back to even ... and I'm not saying Clinton built the surplus by himself; actually the economic booom started at the end of Bush I.

I would also be receptive if the downward trend started from Clinton's time (although it seems illogical that the current deficit can be completely blamed any spending initiatives from then).

The fact is that Bush W has done nothing to curb the trend back to a surplus. Hey, a $300 tax kickback was a nice gesture but I'm thinking maybe it wasn't such a nice thing to do to country in the long-run. Yeah I spent that $300 doing what Bush W told me to do with it hoping I've done my part for the economy ... but all this points to an increased tax in the future after Bush W leaves office.

I'm willing to bet that Bush W will be quoted in the future saying "That's not my problem."
2003-02-17 07:39:04 PM  
i actually had fun making a protest sign with duct tape last weekend...

and i was really temped to make one that said "FUCT TAPE" in big, duct tape letters, but i resisted that urge...
2003-02-17 07:39:23 PM  

Clinton didn't decimate the military, he gave them the highest pay raise they had had to date and built brand new housing for military families. He also increased the GI Bill, and other college benefits. Just because he didn't use the military constantly doesn't mean he decimated it, old GOP cliche surfaces once again. Whenever Bush is in the new for something stupid someone has to drag Clinton into it and usually for something Clinton didn't even do.
2003-02-17 07:56:25 PM  
There are so many things wrong with this article. 1. they would fly bush (in a hazmat suit) down in the cia's rocky mountain anti nuclear cave. 2. he doesnt buy stuff so how can he be at a store buying stuff if he cant, secret service buys it for him.
2003-02-17 08:15:25 PM  
Now, don't forget, everyone:

Bubba is the root of all evil. The good things that happened during his term were the result of the Republicans who came before, the bad things that are happening now are his fault, and the unspeakable evil of obstructing an investigation into his extramarital activities far outweigh Iran-Contra and the wholesale repeal of civil rights.

Just so we're all clear on the subject.
2003-02-18 12:12:27 AM  
Republicans are smart creatures with interesting ways of bringing up useless facts to support their vices.
Displayed 44 of 44 comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.