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Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 5/24 - 5/30
Posted by Drew at 2009-06-01 12:21:43 PM (20 comments) | Permalink
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5935 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jun 2009 at 12:22 PM (8 years ago) | | share: more»
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No special post today, just enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2009-05-24 to Sat 2009-05-30:
First poop-to-power plant opens in Sanford, FL with many wondering where will number two be?
Montana town makes plea to house Gitmo detainees, saying in Montana they're plenty used to people who speak broken English, have a love of guns and bombs and who hate the U.S. gummint
Dead body found in Des Plaines. No word if there were identifying marks or tattoos
Serial whizzer nabbed in Detroit, will face a jury of his peers
New Zealand zoo keeper feeds tiger. He was delicious
Explosives-packed vehicle destroys police building in Lahore. Lapimp says he has no idea how it got there
Skywalker trampolines recalled, are too dangerous to use. See three PO'd customers who already sued
A look inside North Korea, a nation so backward and brain dead that it makes Arkansas look like the Algonquin Round Table by comparison. Don't feel bad that you didn't understand that reference, Arkansas
$232 million-dollar Powerball sold in Winner, South Dakota. Subby moving to Rich, Arkansas, with a winter home in Big Dick Springs, Kentucky
Kavya Shivashankar wins National Spelling Bee after successfully completing the "Fill In your name" portion of the application
Fire breaks out at petting-zoo, killing 30 animals and causing numerous hand burns
Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson makes his first appearance at practice after his heart transplant in February. He would've gotten the new heart sooner, but it got turned over six times on the way
CNNSI takes deep toke off Tom Brady's jockstrap, statistically recreates his lost 2008 season, and concludes he would have thrown for 3,766 yards, 28 TDs, and 12 INTs and won the Super Bowl. And cured cancer and figured out cold fusion
Gay runs fast, but not enough to catch record-breaking Johnson
Astronomers are getting a close-up look at a cosmic eating machine that devours the mass equivalent of two Earths per hour and in the past has replaced Shelley Long on "Cheers"
GREat nEws for spies -- New crypto technique aLlows messages to be hIdden riGHT in the basic communication Protocols used in at LEASt 95 pErcent of systems
350-year-old skeleton discovered in England. Fans gather in hopes of hearing latest rendition of Like a Virgin
Big shot piano man's former drummer sues because he hasn't seen any royalties for the longest time. Entertainer says you may be right, but there's no need to go to extremes
Upcoming Rolling Stone cover story featuring "American Idol" runner-up Adam Lambert will explain what those photos of him on his web site tongue-kissing men and dressed in full drag really mean. We're all just aiken to know
There are plans for a Bazooka Joe movie. Fans demand the movie be faithful to the source and lose flavor after 30 seconds
Abbas would like US to push out Netanyahu, states: "If you change your mind, I'm the first in line. Honey I'm still free. Take a chance on me"
Bill Clinton's views on gay marriage evolving, especially when it involves two chicks
Fresh off the breathless reporting yesterday that Obama bought a cheeseburger comes breaking news that he and Michelle are going to watch a Broadway play. It's like Obama sees the entire media as one big Twitter account
Phil Spector to be sentenced today to at least 15 years of the wall of pound
Virgin looking to buy Playboy
The "bond vigilantes" are back. "You expect me to buy this 10-year note at just 2 percent?" "No, I expect you to die"
Heinz ... .... .... fourth ... ... ... quarter ... ... ... profits ... ... ... fall ... ... ... ten ... ... ... per ... ... ... cent
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