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(SFGate)   Bears prefer masturbation to actual sex. Lucrative bear porn market as yet untapped   ( sfgate.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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7960 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2003 at 2:26 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

46 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-02-14 08:38:39 PM  
I already knew about this years ago from watching Conan O'Brien.
2003-02-14 08:53:56 PM  
OK, which one of the admins wants to admit to pulling this out of the "submissions that should never see daylight" file to torture us while more important things (like boobies) get passed by? Oh, never mind...
2003-02-14 09:28:13 PM  
What no pics? J/K
2003-02-14 10:02:30 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Paradoxflux As per Your request. A repeat picture to go with the repeat posting.
2003-02-14 10:11:44 PM  
Yeesh. I've known that for years. Um, ahem...What?
2003-02-14 11:55:54 PM  
"I have this innocent look, the show should look innocent. The show should have all the trappings of a Tonight Show from 1965 and we're even going to have an orchestra that plays big band, and Max has this very traditional bandleader look, and I'll wear a tie and a suit, we'll have a desk and we'll have a microphone and we'll talk to people. But then we'll have a masturbating bear" ~Conan O'Brien

"For God's sake, let the bear masturbate!" ~Andy Richter

"Dammit TommyymmoT, does that bear really need to display a red rocket?" ~Lando Griffin
2003-02-15 02:30:55 AM  
At first I thought they where talking about the football team.
2003-02-15 02:30:59 AM  
A mastubating bear has to be killing more than just kittens, yes ?
2003-02-15 02:31:56 AM  
http://aminakedornot.myikonboard.com/viewboard.php?categoryid=2 BOOBIES
2003-02-15 02:34:22 AM  
[image from jellystonemammothcave.com too old to be available]

ahhh so that's why bears don't like to be surprised...
2003-02-15 02:34:23 AM  
ex-roommate " sex is great but it still doesn't beat the real thing"
2003-02-15 02:34:39 AM  
I didn't know that a bear could make a fist.
2003-02-15 02:35:42 AM  
2003-02-15 02:35:53 AM  
San Francisco...


I don't like where this thread may take us...
2003-02-15 02:39:23 AM  
Bears playing w/ their "cubs"?
2003-02-15 02:40:09 AM  
What about dry humping though ?
2003-02-15 02:44:22 AM  
word of warning

Do not GIS 'masturbating bear' looking for the conan obrian sketch without the google filters.....
2003-02-15 02:48:07 AM  
maybe theyre like most farkers and just dont have a choice?
2003-02-15 02:48:15 AM  
Why didn't I listen to Backgroudnoise? Why?
2003-02-15 02:48:48 AM  
true. once saw a bear giving himself head for 15 minutes at the St. Louis zoo. yes, i watched the spectacle the entire duration. is that wrong?
2003-02-15 02:52:52 AM  
and now it has gone from a warning to a challenge
2003-02-15 02:56:16 AM  
2003-02-15 03:04:38 AM  
You knew I'd have to look.
*Sigh*. Not how I wanted to finish up my valentine's day.
Not now, not ever.
2003-02-15 03:05:29 AM  
i can't post a pic for the life of me. i suck.
2003-02-15 03:06:33 AM  
Only pic i could if.

[image from picturehosting.net too old to be available]
2003-02-15 03:07:08 AM  

2003-02-15 01:15:22 PM  
Do bears play with beavers in the woods?
2003-02-15 01:16:42 PM  
Well, If I was a bear, I wouldn't want to fark another bear.
2003-02-15 01:47:22 PM  
"and they've got to have good lips"...
She still talking about the penguin's preferences?
2003-02-15 01:56:22 PM  
The Masturbating Bear. Reason #523752 Conan is funnier than Dave or Jay.
2003-02-15 01:57:39 PM  
Are the women THAT ugly in Chicago?

2003-02-15 01:58:03 PM  
bears, or girls?

2003-02-15 02:45:49 PM  
...smarter than the average human...
2003-02-15 03:58:45 PM  
Hey. Sex is good, but it's not the real thing. (fap, fap, fap)

2003-02-15 04:40:07 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
First pandas, then quail, now bears -
What IS it with Drew and animal porn?
2003-02-15 04:46:25 PM  
This is an exceptionally detailed article.

I never thought I'd be learning that the Catholic zookeeper used to wait until just after midnight on Fridays to eat beef tacos instead of fish.

2003-02-15 05:14:08 PM  
[image from abqtrib.com too old to be available]

Take that back.
2003-02-15 07:06:20 PM  
Hmmm...this is SF...are we sure these bears didn't have a same sex marriage?
2003-02-15 07:44:48 PM  
I KNEW I was half-bear. I just KNEW it! They hairy arms made me suspect, but this confirms the fact that I am half-bear. Now to figure out what the other half is.
2003-02-15 07:49:03 PM  
The lucrative bear porn market is HARDLY untapped. What? Oh, you mean real bears...not the guys who call themselves bears? Never mind.
2003-02-15 08:04:09 PM  
Jane Tollini
Her job's for the birds
It's been a long, strange trip for penguin keeper at S.F. Zoo

Nothing about bears, what the hell are the rest of you seeing?
2003-02-15 08:31:13 PM  
[image from atmospheric-violence.com too old to be available]

I wonder if this bear will come up with a masturbation device and sell it on TV.
2003-02-15 10:22:08 PM  
Geekster: sounds like we both followed the same link.
2003-02-15 11:52:48 PM  
How many people just had their first encounter with one meaning of the word "bear."

A meaning that has many many adherents, strewn about the web, quite a few of them profusely illustrated.
2003-02-16 03:20:49 AM  
Ladies and Getlemen,
Bear rejection Haiku:

Did not know that bears
Enjoyed masturbation so;
no wond'r I struck out

I am a poetic genius
2003-02-16 06:25:14 AM  
Masturbation is kinda under-rated. I always wondered how bears got through their wintry hibernation. Campers - don't leave food or vaseline in your tent!
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