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(The Register)   INSERT into RECENT_BUYOUTS (buyer, bought, price) VALUES (Oracle, Sun, $7.4bn)   ( theregister.co.uk) divider line
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901 clicks; posted to Business » on 20 Apr 2009 at 10:15 AM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2009-04-20 09:20:34 AM  
imgs.xkcd.comView Full Size
 
2009-04-20 09:27:21 AM  
ORA-00904: string: 'Oracle' invalid identifier
 
2009-04-20 09:31:03 AM  
This will create a black hole of enterpriseyness, and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2009-04-20 09:40:23 AM  
Say Goodbye to MySQL.
 
2009-04-20 09:41:46 AM  
Alacritous: Say Goodbye to MySQL.

And OpenOffice.
 
2009-04-20 10:14:47 AM  
Alacritous: Say Goodbye to MySQL.

According to some folks on the MySQL team, the license they chose will mean it will still be around.

\I'll be damned if I have to work on Oracle again
\\Accurately named software, though
\\\Because you need a priesthood to work with it
 
2009-04-20 10:14:55 AM  
I am running Oracle 10g RAC on a cluster of Sun Fire v40z's, so I am getting a kick out of these replies, etc.

Just think: Oracle Apps running on Sun hardware. That would create a vortex of suck so strong that even light could not escape.
 
2009-04-20 10:17:10 AM  

Lundah: OpenOffice.


Open office or Star office might stay around. Oracle doesn't have a product that competes with those. But they do have a free version of Oracle DB.
 
2009-04-20 10:18:22 AM  

The Icelander: According to some folks on the MySQL team


They can't undo what's already out there. but they can kill the name, and revoke the corporate backing..
 
2009-04-20 10:20:13 AM  
Alacritous: They can't undo what's already out there. but they can kill the name, and revoke the corporate backing..

MySQL is so popular and widespread that I can see a company forking it, giving it a better name, and still beating Oracle.

\MySQL is a crappy name to begin with
\\And there's always PostGres
\\\Which also has a crappy name
 
2009-04-20 10:25:26 AM  

The Icelander: \I'll be damned if I have to work on Oracle again
\\Accurately named software, though
\\\Because you need a priesthood to work with it


Giving away the database to hook you on professional services is as old as the hills. This merger seems to me another one of those "defensive" maneuvers that just never seems to work out: They're shooting for Big Blue and are doing so via addition and attrition, not innovation and investment. Good luck.
 
2009-04-20 10:26:22 AM  
Ex Parte Gilligan: They're shooting for Big Blue

So they're trying to be like the company that's also not doing well?
 
2009-04-20 10:26:57 AM  

Whamdangler: ORA-00904: string: 'Oracle' invalid identifier


Thank you. Qoutes, people.
 
2009-04-20 10:30:50 AM  
omg subby didn't validate the inputs. We're all doomed!

/can never remember if mysql_real_escape_string is safe enough or not
 
2009-04-20 10:31:40 AM  
This is the best headline Fark could come up with?
 
2009-04-20 10:32:00 AM  

The Icelander: Ex Parte Gilligan: They're shooting for Big Blue

So they're trying to be like the company that's also not doing well?


They're also not exactly sucking. They are still profitable, growing, etc. I think that, right now, many companies would dearly love mimic IBM's current performance.

http://www.forbes.com/feeds/ap/2009/04/20/ap6310052.html
"IBM has managed to become more profitable despite the recession, in part because of its geographic diversity and focus on services and software deals, which are often more lucrative than hardware."
 
2009-04-20 10:33:19 AM  

DeadZone: This is the best headline Fark could come up with?


Mine had something about the combined company relocating to LaBrea, but hey whatever.
 
2009-04-20 10:33:28 AM  
abigsmurf: can never remember if mysql_real_escape_string is safe enough or not

You're still writing SQL queries by hand?

Insanity.
 
2009-04-20 10:33:33 AM  
Normalize your database, DataIntegritylessmitter
 
2009-04-20 10:37:37 AM  

HaywoodJablonski: Normalize your database, DataIntegritylessmitter


Primary keys are for pussies.
 
2009-04-20 10:38:20 AM  

Alacritous: Say Goodbye to MySQL.


Goodbye, ya amateur-land POS
 
2009-04-20 10:39:21 AM  

DeadZone: This is the best headline Fark could come up with?


I tried 3 different times:

1) Oracle buys up Sun. After Siebel, Peoplesoft, BEA, Hyperion, the only tech company not owned by Oracle is Compu-Global-Hyper-Mega-Net

2) The Difference between God and Larry Ellison is that now Larry owns the Sun

3) We are Borgacle, your Sun will be assimilated. Resistance is futile
 
2009-04-20 10:40:29 AM  
harry caray will be upset that his favorite planet was bought
 
2009-04-20 10:40:34 AM  
Raise your hand if you noticed there wasn't a semi-colon at the end of this headline.
 
2009-04-20 10:41:55 AM  

Alacritous: Say Goodbye to MySQL.


Nah, they'll use it kind of like MS uses MSDB/SQL Express. Oracle isn't going to make any money trying to cram a $50k solution down the throats of people who just want a smallish backend database for one or two apps (which probably describes about 90% of MySQL users anyway).
 
2009-04-20 10:43:49 AM  

bionicjoe: Raise your hand if you noticed there wasn't a semi-colon at the end of this headline.


Or single quotes for the string inputs.
 
2009-04-20 10:45:38 AM  
Does Larry Ellison realize he's buying a tech company, and not the actual sun?
 
2009-04-20 10:45:42 AM  

Alacritous: Say Goodbye to MySQL.


Just when they figured out joins, too.
 
2009-04-20 10:45:51 AM  

jayhawk88: Nah, they'll use it kind of like MS uses MSDB/SQL Express


I've never used oracle is the syntax very different from MySQL? should we all start boning up on it?
 
2009-04-20 10:47:21 AM  
I work for Larry Ellison so I'm really getting a kick out these replies.

/actually do
 
2009-04-20 10:47:24 AM  

MadAsshatter: bionicjoe: Raise your hand if you noticed there wasn't a semi-colon at the end of this headline.

Or single quotes for the string inputs.


Not to mention that's not a valid numerical value there at the end.
 
2009-04-20 10:48:33 AM  

DeadZone: This is the best headline Fark could come up with?


Larry Ellison in quest to prove he is God buys the Sun

/that was my try
 
2009-04-20 10:49:51 AM  

Diogenes: Does Larry Ellison realize he's buying a tech company, and not the actual sun?


Yes, on the grounds that I'm quite sure he believes the real sun shines out of his ass.
 
2009-04-20 10:50:33 AM  

The Icelander: abigsmurf: can never remember if mysql_real_escape_string is safe enough or not

You're still writing SQL queries by hand?

Insanity.


Hah hah. This.
 
2009-04-20 10:52:58 AM  

Diogenes: Does Larry Ellison realize he's buying a tech company, and not the actual sun?


He's probably too busy banging supermodels on his 5,000,000,000 foot yacht to care.
 
2009-04-20 10:57:10 AM  
What happens to the hardware portion? What does Oracle want with the servers, tape, etc.? Someone more in-the-know explain what Oracle gets out of all of Sun's pieces?
 
2009-04-20 10:58:52 AM  
Get ready for the rebranding:

ElliSUN
 
2009-04-20 10:58:58 AM  

Alacritous: I've never used oracle is the syntax very different from MySQL? should we all start boning up on it?


Honestly I don't really have any idea how that would work, I'm no expert on cross-database stuff. I just know it would be foolish for Oracle to kill MySQL when there is such a community already around it, willing to help them get MySQL into as many shops/apps as possible, just waiting for an Oracle sales guy to come by after a couple years and tell them how they need more scalability.
 
2009-04-20 11:04:50 AM  

Diogenes: Does Larry Ellison realize he's buying a tech company, and not the actual sun?


So does half the IT industry...
 
2009-04-20 11:05:31 AM  

jst3p: Diogenes: Does Larry Ellison realize he's buying a tech company, and not the actual sun?

So does half the IT industry...


Uggg, too early to fark. Meant that response to the comment about working for Larry.....

I r fail
 
2009-04-20 11:16:05 AM  

jst3p: jst3p: Diogenes: Does Larry Ellison realize he's buying a tech company, and not the actual sun?

So does half the IT industry...

Uggg, too early to fark. Meant that response to the comment about working for Larry.....

I r fail


all ur java belong to us
 
2009-04-20 11:28:28 AM  
INSERT into RECENT_BUYOUTS (buyer, bought, price) VALUES (Oracle, Sun, $7.4bn)

INSERT INTO RECENT_BUYOUTS (buyer, bought, price, currency) VALUES ('Oracle', 'Sun', 7400000000.00, 'USD');

COMMIT;
 
2009-04-20 11:28:56 AM  

FenghisKhan: What happens to the hardware portion? What does Oracle want with the servers, tape, etc.? Someone more in-the-know explain what Oracle gets out of all of Sun's pieces?


Probably mothball most of it. The high end server market is a dying industry that's mostly controlled by IBM anyway. There's no point in buying a single $1 million server when a rack of replaceable $1000(or less) units will do the same job. It's the Google model. Doubly so since the age of distributed systems came along. Between having a corner on the alternative to MS SQL market and a viable platform (Java) to develop stuff for it, they'll be able maybe to take a piece of Microsoft. Not sure what they're doing in the ERP market, that may be another place to expand. Peoplesoft was a POS, IIRC.
 
2009-04-20 11:30:42 AM  
What does this mean for licensing Sun technologies? Because OSX uses ZFS and DTrace. I keep waiting to hear that Zones makes it over too. I want Zones, but I'm not going to run Solaris to get them.
 
2009-04-20 11:35:13 AM  

tillerman35: INSERT into RECENT_BUYOUTS (buyer, bought, price) VALUES (Oracle, Sun, $7.4bn)

INSERT INTO RECENT_BUYOUTS (buyer, bought, price, currency) VALUES ('Oracle', 'Sun', 7400000000.00, 'USD');

COMMIT;


UPDATE tblNerds SET Stickler=1 WHERE UserName='tillerman35';
 
2009-04-20 11:39:51 AM  

MadAsshatter: UPDATE tblNerds SET Stickler=1 WHERE UserName='tillerman35';


Oh, you did not bring Hungarian Notation up in this piece.

DROP IDIOCY ntHungarianNotation;
 
2009-04-20 11:41:31 AM  

t3knomanser: MadAsshatter: UPDATE tblNerds SET Stickler=1 WHERE UserName='tillerman35';

Oh, you did not bring Hungarian Notation up in this piece.

DROP IDIOCY ntHungarianNotation;


HAHA I knew that'd piss someone off.
 
2009-04-20 11:45:16 AM  

Colt4545: 2) The Difference between God and Larry Ellison is that now Larry owns the Sun


Oh my. Excellent. Quite excellent.

You have won two paid licenses for MySqoracle.
 
2009-04-20 11:48:25 AM  

MadAsshatter: Peoplesoft was a POS, IIRC.


Yeah, but PeopleSoft had a pretty good installed base. I think that within 30 days of Oracle acquiring PeopleSoft, Oracle had already announced their "upgrade plan" for companies using PeopleSoft to run the business. Oracle never wanted PeopleSoft's technology, they just wanted the customer list.
 
2009-04-20 11:51:33 AM  

abigsmurf: omg subby didn't validate the inputs. We're all doomed!

/can never remember if mysql_real_escape_string is safe enough or not


LOL PHP
 
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