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(Some Guy)   "Oh my God, I'm looking at a baby ... I didn't know my wife was pregnant ... There's like, baby poop all over his head. Ugh, disgusting"   (mlive.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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37924 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Apr 2009 at 2:08 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



214 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2009-04-17 10:55:31 AM  
"Later, Carri gets on the telephone and tells Adams the baby is fine and blowing bubbles."

"That's good news that's a positive sign indicating a healthy infant" Adams told a still-frantic Carri. "No you don't understand" Carri shrieked to the now-shaken 911 phone operator - "Bubbles is our Great Dane!"
 
2009-04-17 11:01:13 AM  
FTFA: "I didn't know my wife was pregnant," Ryan said of his 27-year-old wife, already a mother of three.

"You didn't know she was pregnant?" Adams asked.

"No, no," Ryan answers. "(I) had no idea my wife was pregnant.

Experts say surprise pregnancies are unusual, but not unheard of."


For once, I'm going to pass on the the low-hanging fruit.
 
2009-04-17 11:02:53 AM  
She sounds fat.
 
2009-04-17 11:10:18 AM  
he said they quit smoking and put on some weight but wasnt aware of being pregnant. It was her 4th kid. The part when he starts to wrap the placenta in a towel and almost pukes is great.
 
2009-04-17 11:10:54 AM  

brap: "Later, Carri gets on the telephone and tells Adams the baby is fine and blowing bubbles."

"That's good news that's a positive sign indicating a healthy infant" Adams told a still-frantic Carri. "No you don't understand" Carri shrieked to the now-shaken 911 phone operator - "Bubbles is our Great Dane!"


I was not expecting that. I inhaled my coffee. Ow.
 
2009-04-17 11:12:17 AM  
Was it an ass baby?
Maybe she mistakenly ate a baby at some Indian diner and didn't chew her food.
 
2009-04-17 11:12:27 AM  
As amazing as this seems, it happens. I had a dumbass boss who had a dumbass fat sister this happened to. She didn't know she was pregnant until she was in pain, went to the commode and birthed another dumbass. He was in the next day talking about it and I will never forget that realization I had that some broad and her family could be so stupid and so unaware of her condition.
 
2009-04-17 11:16:53 AM  

Walker: She sounds fat.


Done in 3.
 
2009-04-17 11:25:21 AM  
So THAT is how babby formed!
 
2009-04-17 1:40:17 PM  
 
2009-04-17 2:12:03 PM  
They need to do way instain mother.
 
2009-04-17 2:12:14 PM  
brap: "That's good news that's a positive sign indicating a healthy infant" Adams told a still-frantic Carri. "No you don't understand" Carri shrieked to the now-shaken 911 phone operator - "Bubbles is our Great Dane!"

Bravo good sir.
 
2009-04-17 2:14:52 PM  

brap: "Later, Carri gets on the telephone and tells Adams the baby is fine and blowing bubbles."

"That's good news that's a positive sign indicating a healthy infant" Adams told a still-frantic Carri. "No you don't understand" Carri shrieked to the now-shaken 911 phone operator - "Bubbles is our Great Dane!"


Very well done. Took me completely by surprise. I'm very glad nothing was in my mouth at the time.
 
2009-04-17 2:15:56 PM  
WOW, someone needs to tell the "journalist" who wrote that, TMI!
 
2009-04-17 2:16:35 PM  
What blowing bubbles may look like

foxnews.comView Full Size
 
2009-04-17 2:17:08 PM  

swingerhead: he said they quit smoking and put on some weight but wasnt aware of being pregnant. It was her 4th kid. The part when he starts to wrap the placenta in a towel and almost pukes is great.


Nice. Having helped my wife through the birth of our first son, the afterbirth is just about the only part of the process that really, really squicks me.
 
2009-04-17 2:18:11 PM  

brap: "Later, Carri gets on the telephone and tells Adams the baby is fine and blowing bubbles."

"That's good news that's a positive sign indicating a healthy infant" Adams told a still-frantic Carri. "No you don't understand" Carri shrieked to the now-shaken 911 phone operator - "Bubbles is our Great Dane!"


Great. Now I've got the entire hallway outside my office trying to figure out if I was having a heart attack in here. Thanks, brap!
 
2009-04-17 2:19:02 PM  
Something tells me that's not baby poop. farking idiots.
 
2009-04-17 2:21:30 PM  

probesport: They need to do way instain mother.


LOL WUT
 
2009-04-17 2:22:08 PM  

Rose Red: Something tells me that's not baby poop. farking idiots.


I'm pretty sure a 10 year old kid doesn't have alot of knowledge on the subject of childbirth.
 
2009-04-17 2:23:02 PM  
so, fatass I assume?
 
2009-04-17 2:23:41 PM  

probesport: They need to do way instain mother.


The whole thing?
 
2009-04-17 2:24:10 PM  
baby poop, that is. the worst kind.
 
2009-04-17 2:25:05 PM  
"Ugh, ... disgusting," Ryan moans.

I agree... babies are incredibly gross.
 
2009-04-17 2:25:39 PM  

Jackson Herring: Rose Red: Something tells me that's not baby poop. farking idiots.

I'm pretty sure a 10 year old kid doesn't have alot of knowledge on the subject of childbirth.


No, I mean the OTHER thing that happens when breeders pop.
 
2009-04-17 2:27:00 PM  
probesport:
What blowing bubbles may look like

Didn't Michael Jackson have a monkey named Bubbles?

/the author of that story needs to go back and take a few more English lessons.
 
2009-04-17 2:27:19 PM  
good! someone got the she sounds fat joke out nice and quick


she must have a really erratic period naturally, or is just too fat to get one.

how else?

I knew this chick in college that hadnt had a period in 5 years because she was so chunky. She even had a key to the elevator (which they only give to people in wheelchairs) b/c the damn cow couldn't even lift her legs far enough apart of climb the stairs.

Srsly, when your pregnant belly is confused for your fupa, it's time to get on the treadmill. Maybe put a twinky on a stick or something and trot lard away.

Signs you might be too fat:

1. You have cankles.
2. You have a fupa bigger than your ass.
3. When you breathe you can hear your neck fat flapping.
4. You have more rolls than the local baker
5. You're out of breath by walking to the refrigerator.
6. You can't even get to the refrigerator.
7. You have a baby and you didn't know you were pregnant.
8. When you take a bath, your entire block's water supply goes down to a trickle.
9. You are confused for Shamoo
10. You look like him in a wedding dress.
 
2009-04-17 2:27:35 PM  
This is not as unusual as you may think. I know two families that have had this happen. Well ok the first one was actually a friend of a friend but still the point is that it happens.
 
2009-04-17 2:28:21 PM  

brap: "Later, Carri gets on the telephone and tells Adams the baby is fine and blowing bubbles."

"That's good news that's a positive sign indicating a healthy infant" Adams told a still-frantic Carri. "No you don't understand" Carri shrieked to the now-shaken 911 phone operator - "Bubbles is our Great Dane!"


That's the funniest thing I have read in a long time. The LOLZ have rushed over me in an awesome wave. Thanks.
 
2009-04-17 2:28:23 PM  
Another story I read about this stated that the dad told the dispatcher he'd had a vasectomy. Now you know why the mom didn't tell him she was pregnant!
 
2009-04-17 2:28:24 PM  

Rose Red: Something tells me that's not baby poop. farking idiots.


Probably mom's poop. I heard your bowels release after you push one of those things through your birth canal.
 
2009-04-17 2:28:24 PM  

ckirchen1: probesport: They need to do way instain mother.

The whole thing?

accidentally.
 
2009-04-17 2:28:32 PM  
Just wondering how you could not know you're pregnant? Guess some women have irregular cycles but really? I'd start to worry if i missed one cycle...let alone 9 or 10 of them.

Rural area, huh? Was it in a trailer off a dirt road? Did the father cut the cord with a hunting knife?

/whatever
 
2009-04-17 2:29:51 PM  
I saw this last night on the local news. The anchor would laugh every time he would hear the 911 call. Can't say I blame him.
 
2009-04-17 2:30:04 PM  

Butterflew: good! someone got the she sounds fat joke out nice and quick


she must have a really erratic period naturally, or is just too fat to get one.

how else?

I knew this chick in college that hadnt had a period in 5 years because she was so chunky. She even had a key to the elevator (which they only give to people in wheelchairs) b/c the damn cow couldn't even lift her legs far enough apart of climb the stairs.

Srsly, when your pregnant belly is confused for your fupa, it's time to get on the treadmill. Maybe put a twinky on a stick or something and trot lard away.

Signs you might be too fat:

1. You have cankles.
2. You have a fupa bigger than your ass.
3. When you breathe you can hear your neck fat flapping.
4. You have more rolls than the local baker
5. You're out of breath by walking to the refrigerator.
6. You can't even get to the refrigerator.
7. You have a baby and you didn't know you were pregnant.
8. When you take a bath, your entire block's water supply goes down to a trickle.
9. You are confused for Shamoo
10. You look like him in a wedding dress.

11. There's a swishing sound when you walk in nylon pants.
 
2009-04-17 2:30:11 PM  

HKWolf: Just wondering how you could not know you're pregnant? Guess some women have irregular cycles but really? I'd start to worry if i missed one cycle...let alone 9 or 10 of them.

Rural area, huh? Was it in a trailer off a dirt road? Did the father cut the cord with a hunting knife?

/whatever


no he used his teeth

kind of like Veldar Conehead.
 
2009-04-17 2:30:13 PM  
Americans are so fat they routinely get pregnant and just don't even know.
 
2009-04-17 2:30:21 PM  
dogdaze
How did it make you feel that YOU were working for THEM?
 
2009-04-17 2:30:33 PM  

Butterflew: Rose Red: Something tells me that's not baby poop. farking idiots.

Probably mom's poop. I heard your bowels release after you push one of those things through your birth canal.


yep. Same muscles. Tough not to do both when you just push.
 
2009-04-17 2:30:59 PM  

Walker: She sounds fat.


Fat and stupid.
 
2009-04-17 2:31:42 PM  

Pair-o-Dice:
11. There's a swishing sound when you walk in nylon pants.


i suppose it could be worse. it could be a scraping sound you hear when they wear LYCRA pants.

which i've seen, and heard.
 
2009-04-17 2:31:49 PM  
liverleef:
This is not as unusual as you may think. I know two families that have had this happen. Well ok the first one was actually a friend of a friend but still the point is that it happens.

were they fat?
 
2009-04-17 2:32:46 PM  
Sooprise buttsecks! childbirf!
 
2009-04-17 2:32:53 PM  
Well, obviously she's not a celebrity, or people would have been printing photos of her 'BABY BUMP?' with circles and arrows about five or six months ago.
 
2009-04-17 2:33:36 PM  

Butterflew: Probably mom's poop. I heard your bowels release after you push one of those things through your birth canal.


Yeah, that's one of the things I won't forget from my son's birth; the stench of my wife's shiat after she evacuated herself while pushing. It wasn't her fault, there wasn't another set of muscles she could use to push with.
 
2009-04-17 2:33:48 PM  

Veteran of the Cola Wars: Sooprise buttsecks! childbirf!


this caption needs an LOLcat

preferably a fat one having kittens
 
2009-04-17 2:34:07 PM  
I'm in yer uterus, peekin' out yer vajayjay.

LoL pregnancies..?
 
2009-04-17 2:34:09 PM  
Butterflew:
Pair-o-Dice:
11. There's a swishing sound when you walk in nylon pants.

i suppose it could be worse. it could be a scraping sound you hear when they wear LYCRA pants.

which i've seen, and heard.


me too *shudders*
 
2009-04-17 2:34:17 PM  

brap: "Later, Carri gets on the telephone and tells Adams the baby is fine and blowing bubbles."

"That's good news that's a positive sign indicating a healthy infant" Adams told a still-frantic Carri. "No you don't understand" Carri shrieked to the now-shaken 911 phone operator - "Bubbles is our Great Dane!"


You magnificent bastard!
 
2009-04-17 2:35:13 PM  

dstanley: Butterflew: Probably mom's poop. I heard your bowels release after you push one of those things through your birth canal.

Yeah, that's one of the things I won't forget from my son's birth; the stench of my wife's shiat after she evacuated herself while pushing. It wasn't her fault, there wasn't another set of muscles she could use to push with.


lol i'm so gonna take 2 days worth of laxatives and not eat a damn thing for 3 days before i have my baby. (whenever that happens)

i wonder if the doctors advise against that.
 
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