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(Courier Mail)   Mayor denies giving handjobs to local businessmen and politicians   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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16712 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2003 at 11:20 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

64 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-02-05 07:35:07 PM  
So? Dr.Fey denies giving handjobs to local businessmen and politicians, too. I won't deny some other things, though...
2003-02-05 08:17:03 PM  
I think Sen. Hillary could learn something from this woman.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-05 08:28:51 PM  
"He said if you do it them (masturbate) then do it to me and pulled down his pants," she said.

At which point the judge banged his gavel and proclaimed "Order in my court room, I want no more of these outbursts. Now I want everyone to form an orderly line for mayoral bukakke".
2003-02-05 08:31:42 PM  
Woman in question:
[image from too old to be available]

Her divisional area is also the "Whole of Shire" for you LotR fanboys ::shrug::
2003-02-05 09:20:56 PM  
<i>MAROOCHY Shire Mayor Alison Grosse was forced to deny that she masturbated several prominent Sunshine Coast businessmen and a well-known politician, in a civil court hearing yesterday.</i>

How exactly can someone else "masturbate" you? Isn't masturbation defined as a sexual act performed upon oneself? A term more fitting would be "manual stimulation."

2003-02-05 10:41:55 PM  
best title. ever.
2003-02-05 11:23:11 PM  
Wow!! That's way better then South Gate's mayor punching a councilman in the face at her last meeting.
2003-02-05 11:26:02 PM  
mas·tur·ba·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (mstr-bshn)

Excitation of one's own or another's genital organs, usually to orgasm, by manual contact or means other than sexual intercourse
2003-02-05 11:26:06 PM  

mas·tur·bate: stroke genitals: to give oneself or somebody else sexual pleasure by stroking the genitals, usually to orgasm
2003-02-05 11:27:53 PM  
booyah! by 4 seconds

masturbate on that
2003-02-05 11:28:34 PM  
it's just nice to see getting some play
2003-02-05 11:28:37 PM  
Are your dictionary pages stuck together?
2003-02-05 11:29:12 PM  
That's the thing where you shake someone's hand, and casually slip them a $20 bill while you're shaking it, right? RIGHT?!
2003-02-05 11:29:34 PM  

Offer accepted.


/cliche Farker
2003-02-05 11:30:14 PM  
So I'm guessing the kitten population was incredibly low in that area back then...
2003-02-05 11:30:38 PM  
at least she can say she produced a lot more jobs than anyone else in the constituency...

/weak pun
2003-02-05 11:30:56 PM  
Her divisional area is also the "Whole of Shire" for you LotR fanboys ::shrug::

I haven't got my Refedex handy, but I don't think the Shire of Maroochy is large or populous enough to warrant a second member on council. It's about an hour's drive*, give or take, north of Brisbane.

* - figured based on extremely rough estimate from looking at maps, not actually driving it. Actual mileage may vary. Not responsible for changes due to highway upgrades, downgrades, construction workers standing on the road not working, or idiot tourists driving slowly. Have a nice day.
2003-02-05 11:31:42 PM  
I love stories that have a happy ending.
2003-02-05 11:33:02 PM  
How would anyone have guessed we've have such knowledgable scholars on masturbation to educate us on lil' old Fark!
2003-02-05 11:33:12 PM  
It's fitting that the one guy's name is Rob Purvis.
2003-02-05 11:34:11 PM  
does scratching count?
2003-02-05 11:34:17 PM  
can I be on her staff??
2003-02-05 11:35:17 PM  
What the hell's with all the "Cr"s in the piece?
2003-02-05 11:36:43 PM  
It all depends on what the definition of "giving" is. :)
2003-02-05 11:36:48 PM  

the question is: Can she be on your staff?
2003-02-05 11:36:56 PM  
.. and then se'll be on your staff
2003-02-05 11:37:41 PM  
Homersaysdotcoc "can I be on her staff??"

Why not! She seems to be on everyone elses... staves that is. Get it? *rimshot*
2003-02-05 11:37:50 PM  
8 seconds ack
2003-02-05 11:38:07 PM  
She also denies fap-fapping on the issues.

I got nothin'.
2003-02-05 11:39:26 PM  

Those would be Carriage Returns, ASCII's way of denoting that the user wants the text on a new line.
2003-02-05 11:39:39 PM  
I don't think the Shire of Maroochy is large or populous enough to warrant a second member on council.

Something tells me she likes members aplenty already.

/still nothin'.
2003-02-05 11:41:18 PM  
i gotta hand it to her . . . she hasn't blown her job yet . . . she can still save herself by responding orally . . . she might need to get her hands dirty and work on it for a while though . . .

2003-02-05 11:41:52 PM  
I dont know how those guys struck out, cause she helped me wit the happy ending when I visited.

And this is the second best title ever ... the DVDA one being on top.
2003-02-05 11:44:49 PM  
now thats what I call public service
2003-02-05 11:45:46 PM  
If this goes to trial she can give an oral deposition.

/nope, still nothin'.
2003-02-05 11:48:26 PM  
"She was responding to suggestions put by defence barrister Jack Curran ...."

It sounds like Jack Curran is a master baiter.
2003-02-05 11:50:09 PM  
What the hell's with all the "Cr"s in the piece?

2003-02-05 11:52:17 PM  
Her council sessions degenerate into a mass debate
2003-02-05 11:57:17 PM  
It's good to see she maintains a firm grasp on the outstanding matters important to her constituency.
2003-02-06 12:00:45 AM  
A Shire is kind of like a county btw
2003-02-06 12:03:26 AM  
...had put her hand on his penis during a massage... and she had pulled away.

Sounds like everybody went home happy.
2003-02-06 12:05:20 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-06 12:05:34 AM  
ahhh Councillor. But, wait, she's not Councillor, she's Mayor.
2003-02-06 12:07:50 AM  
Farking hilarous.
2003-02-06 12:12:51 AM  

What the hell's with all the "Cr"s in the piece?


"Crikey, she's a slut, mate!" ?
2003-02-06 12:18:47 AM  
Man I'll take this over the Key to the City any day.

[image from too old to be available]

2003-02-06 12:19:12 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-02-06 12:21:07 AM  
I was also pleased to attend the official handover of almost 400 hectares of sensitive environmental land to the State Government on Thursday

2003-02-06 12:21:35 AM  
she doesn't mention any thing about hand jobs here...
2003-02-06 12:26:36 AM  
They're talking like there is somthing wrong with this...

If more women would just give more hadjobs the whole iraq situation would not be happeneing.

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