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(BBSpot)   Twitter unveils new premium accounts   (bbspot.com) divider line
    More: Cool  
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4626 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 19 Mar 2009 at 11:26 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2009-03-19 8:09:20 AM  
Drew nods approvingly.
 
2009-03-19 8:28:05 AM  
BBSpot: Lame

Twitter: Lamer

BBSpot making fun of Twitter: Story needs a wheelchair
 
2009-03-19 8:47:21 AM  
Twitter, Just one of those things I don't get or need. Way over rated.
 
2009-03-19 9:09:11 AM  
Charging people for something they are used to getting for free.

Who would have thought that would be the business model?

No TotalTwitt account?

Sparrow ($5/month) - Users get 145 character limit, 5 extra random followers.

Dove ($15/month) - Users get 160 character limit, 25 extra random followers, 1 random celebrity follower, auto-spell check, "Fail Whale" T-shirt.

Owl ($50/month) - Users get 250 character limit, 100 extra random followers, 2 random celebrity followers, 30 minutes on recommended list, auto-spell check, "Fail Whale" hoodie.

Eagle ($250/month) - Users get 500 character limit, 1000 extra random followers, 3 celebrity followers of their choice, 5 hours on recommended list each month, Twitter Concierge for Tweeting while user is asleep or busy (and more), auto-spell check, "Fail Whale" tuxedo, custom "Fail Whale" page when service is down.
 
2009-03-19 9:31:44 AM  
Is it called UltraTwit?
 
2009-03-19 9:41:28 AM  
My wife is all excited about Twitter, and wanted me to join.

Somebody else has already taken the ID SpinStopper.

Hell with that. I might have played, but not now ;)
 
2009-03-19 10:11:52 AM  

SpinStopper: My wife is all excited about Twitter, and wanted me to join.


It does seem to appeal to women the most. At least all the twits I know are pussies.

So I have to ask, is the past tense of tweet, twat?
 
2009-03-19 10:30:02 AM  
Wouldn't it be img1.fark.net if we had a img1.fark.net tag? Man, that would be really img1.fark.net.
 
2009-03-19 10:42:14 AM  
Users in any tier will be able to purchase an EmbellishTwit add-on for $100/year, which directs tweets to a well-educated offshore employee who will embellish tweets. For example, "Just had a whole wheat bagel and coffee for breakfast," becomes "Just got in from clubbing all night and Heidi Klum is spreading brie on a baguette just flown in on the Concord for my breakfast."

Rumors of a even higher level of service the secret "Black" account, which has J. K. Rowling, Stephen King and other famous authors write your tweets have not been confirmed.

The hell?
 
2009-03-19 10:49:08 AM  
If I were to roam the Universe for eons, searching behind every sofa cushion and underneath every quark, the last place I would have ever expected to find satire-humor-impaired people would be Fark.

/learn something every day
 
2009-03-19 11:02:36 AM  
Actually, it would be great if you had the option to have more than 145 characters. It might be worth $5.
 
2009-03-19 11:03:58 AM  
*GROAN*

I am always an early adopter. Yet I can't see twitter as anything but self indulgent and boring. Leave it to teh internets to empower the ignorant and create a distribution method for that which does not matter.
 
2009-03-19 11:13:57 AM  
The Bad Astronomer: If I were to roam the Universe for eons, searching behind every sofa cushion and underneath every quark, the last place I would have ever expected to find satire-humor-impaired people would be Fark.

/learn something every day


It's because BBSpot's satire is so bad that nobody realizes it is supposed to be funny.
 
2009-03-19 11:19:58 AM  

The Bad Astronomer: If I were to roam the Universe for eons, searching behind every sofa cushion and underneath every quark, the last place I would have ever expected to find satire-humor-impaired people would be Fark.

/learn something every day


Are you implying that quarks rest on some sort of ethereal substrate where by some unknown particle(smaller than a quark yet larger than a Planck Length) could hide? I sir am interested in your newsletter.
 
2009-03-19 11:31:12 AM  
Haha, I thought that article was real and by the end I was like wtf seriously?
 
2009-03-19 11:32:12 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: BBSpot: Lame

Twitter: Lamer

BBSpot making fun of Twitter: Story needs a wheelchair


They should get together and make RBtwat. Should go over well with any audience.
 
2009-03-19 11:32:44 AM  
I never understood the concept of Twitter.

My IM software does everything it can do, except I can type in as many characters in to my message that I want.
 
2009-03-19 11:39:00 AM  
Now with 10% less Spam
 
2009-03-19 11:43:04 AM  
In your frenetic fingering you neglected to notice the green upon which you stand. I beseech you to remove yourself rapidly from it, lest I, by needs, get medieval upon thy heinie - damn, over limit

/why would anyone need this crap?
 
Bf+
2009-03-19 11:45:45 AM  

assegai: Haha, I thought that article was real and by the end I was like wtf seriously?


img299.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2009-03-19 11:48:08 AM  
Every paid Twitter account should come with a free nose ring.
 
2009-03-19 11:48:53 AM  
What! How dare they insult my precious mecca! Twitter is perfect in every way! Everyone should use it! I found it first and that makes me cutting edge! If you insult it it's because you're jealous and have no friends!! You don't understand the perfection that is twitter!

/ probably a tad excessive
 
2009-03-19 11:49:17 AM  
At first I thought "Cool! They've actually built a business model!"

But then I realized it's satire. I should have expected this. Twitter's business model is "please give us venture capital."
 
2009-03-19 11:55:32 AM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


He want's one.
 
2009-03-19 11:57:42 AM  
I liked this one, just because so many people are going to fall for it. Well done, Briggs.
 
2009-03-19 11:58:16 AM  
Dear BBSpot:

dtdstudios.comView Full Size


Seriously.
 
2009-03-19 12:17:23 PM  
Twitter is pretty stupid. Outside of total narcissists and business folks using it for marketing, I can't really see who this is supposed to appeal to...or why.
 
2009-03-19 12:49:02 PM  
stupid.

/that is all.
 
2009-03-19 12:59:43 PM  

The Chained Wolf: want's


Ugh.
 
2009-03-19 1:03:06 PM  
Twitter is for 100% fad that old farts are grabbing at so they look "tech savvy." It cracks me up when they talk about how they can reach me on twitter! I have -0- market for twitter. Seriously, phones have text messaging on it. What is the big market strategy around twitter other than......talking abou twitter as if its Miley Sirus.
 
2009-03-19 1:11:00 PM  

DarkJohnson: SpinStopper: My wife is all excited about Twitter, and wanted me to join.

It does seem to appeal to women the most. At least all the twits I know are pussies.
So I have to ask, is the past tense of tweet, twat?


I believe it is:

I have something inconsequential to say publicly. I will tweet.
I said something inconsequential yesterday. I twit.
I will have publicly said something positive about my girlfriend by this weekend. I will have twat.
 
2009-03-19 1:29:37 PM  

b2theory: The Bad Astronomer: If I were to roam the Universe for eons, searching behind every sofa cushion and underneath every quark, the last place I would have ever expected to find satire-humor-impaired people would be Fark.

/learn something every day

Are you implying that quarks rest on some sort of ethereal substrate where by some unknown particle(smaller than a quark yet larger than a Planck Length) could hide? I sir am interested in your newsletter.


Nah, I think he just went to a con and threw Armin Shimerman out of his chair.
 
2009-03-19 1:39:06 PM  
NARCISSISTIC BASTARDS
 
2009-03-19 1:51:40 PM  
The way I see it, BBSpot needs to start doing videos. That way, we can resurrect the FarkTV/SuperDeluxe failchains...
 
2009-03-19 2:09:33 PM  

secularsage: The way I see it, BBSpot needs to start doing videos. That way, we can resurrect the FarkTV/SuperDeluxe failchains...


There's no longer any need for SuperDeluxe ... College Humor is even more lame.
 
2009-03-19 2:23:01 PM  
Twitter works well if your friends also use twitter. For instance, I just now got discount tickets to a sold out Leonard Cohen show because my friend tweeted about it.

It's not just "oh hey look at me!", it's a quick and easy way to trade info.

Then again, I live and work in San Francisco, which is ground zero for Twitter, so it's much easier for me to connect to a large group of people through it.
 
2009-03-19 2:24:00 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: /why would anyone need this crap?


Why would anyone need anything? We don't NEED Fark, yet here we are! You don't have to understand it for others to find it fun.
 
2009-03-19 2:28:06 PM  

DjangoStonereaver: BBSpot: Lame

Twitter: Lamer

BBSpot making fun of Twitter: Story needs a wheelchair


DarkJohnson: Charging people for something they are used to getting for free. Who would have thought that would be the business model? No TotalTwitt account?

Sparrow ($5/month) - Users get 145 character limit, 5 extra random followers.

Dove ($15/month) - Users get 160 character limit, 25 extra random followers, 1 random celebrity follower, auto-spell check, "Fail Whale" T-shirt.

Owl ($50/month) - Users get 250 character limit, 100 extra random followers, 2 random celebrity followers, 30 minutes on recommended list, auto-spell check, "Fail Whale" hoodie.

Eagle ($250/month) - Users get 500 character limit, 1000 extra random followers, 3 celebrity followers of their choice, 5 hours on recommended list each month, Twitter Concierge for Tweeting while user is asleep or busy (and more), auto-spell check, "Fail Whale" tuxedo, custom "Fail Whale" page when service is down.


Dust: Wouldn't it be img1.fark.net if we had a img1.fark.net tag? Man, that would be really img1.fark.net.


It makes my day when Fark becomes self-explanatory in just a few posts.
 
2009-03-19 2:28:37 PM  
If only there were some sort of tag that one could apply to a satirical article to correctly identify it as so.
 
2009-03-19 2:30:31 PM  
img299.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
2009-03-19 2:50:25 PM  

crimsin23: Drew nods approvingly.


he sure does
 
2009-03-19 3:09:10 PM  
Twitter is so silly to begin with that I did not even notice it was satire until about halfway through the article.
 
2009-03-19 3:12:33 PM  
Read TFA, and I have to admit I haven't felt this awful since I saw that Ronald Reagan film.
 
2009-03-19 3:25:00 PM  
I use twitter like RSS feeds. Do I twitter myself? once. Do I subscribe to a bunch of feeds. Yes. Very useful info out there.
 
2009-03-19 3:40:16 PM  
All these people saying how dumb twitter is are like people saying how dumb SMS is because their kids do dumb things with it. I get tons of useful information from the people I follow - and unlike IM, it is asynchronous. Read it whenever, ask questions - get results. It's who you follow. None of the people I follow say what they had for lunch, how their hair looks, or other nonsense.
 
2009-03-19 3:46:14 PM  
The root of Twitter is "twit". 'Nuff said.
 
2009-03-19 3:47:22 PM  
Twitter: Well worth $250 per month in these tough economic times.
 
2009-03-19 3:51:02 PM  

FellDestroyed: It's who you follow.


This.

Yes, twitter is inundated with MLM scammers, SEO 'experts', internet biz 'gurus', and narcissistic dickwads. You don't have to listen to their BS if you don't follow them. After about three weeks of use, I have identified about 100 or so people who work in my field, at or near my level, who have provided a farkload of very useful information to me, and who I have had some pretty interesting dialog with.

Twitter is a tool like any other.
 
2009-03-19 4:13:21 PM  
Stupid tool. WTF cares that I am at the market. I know I don't fing care?
 
2009-03-19 4:14:38 PM  
Twitter is selling premium accounts
hmmm.
I wonder if I could interest their customers in a bridge I´m selling.
 
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