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(Weekly World News)   College offers degree in stripping   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

14122 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2003 at 11:34 AM (20 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

56 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-30 10:36:21 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Farking A!!!
2003-01-30 11:25:02 AM  
Yeah, sure, believe WWN. They could have at least picked names of staff members that actually exist at the university in question.
2003-01-30 11:37:42 AM  
but she's really a student.
2003-01-30 11:38:46 AM  
Can we PLEASE stop posting crap articles from the WWN? It's a waste of life to spend any time reading that tripe.
2003-01-30 11:39:50 AM  
The onion is just better.
2003-01-30 11:39:51 AM  
With pole dancing being a prerequisite?
2003-01-30 11:40:56 AM  
With Spring Break being their thesis.
2003-01-30 11:40:56 AM  
Boy, I sure would like to help em with their homework! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

/obligitory and obvious and very, very stupid.
2003-01-30 11:42:14 AM  
Final exams will be held at my place...
2003-01-30 11:42:26 AM  
It's a waste of life to spend any time reading that tripe.

You're on Fark. You actually expect something productive to happen?
2003-01-30 11:43:43 AM  
So THAT'S where they learn how to pick up a quarter off the bar without using their hands.
2003-01-30 11:43:43 AM  
As a prerequisite you have to get a tattoo on the small of your back.

Also known as a "whore-too."
2003-01-30 11:44:24 AM  
Ahhhh, if only it was true...
2003-01-30 11:45:39 AM  
Why wasn't that available when I was in school??? I always carried dollar bills!
2003-01-30 11:49:11 AM  
"Daddy, can you help me with my homework, please?"
"What's in it for me?"
2003-01-30 11:50:17 AM  
This is a perfect candidate for trade school. Just think, you could support your local soon-to-be dropouts, get your car painted, and enjoy a refreshing lap-dance while you wait. That's a three-fer!
2003-01-30 11:50:19 AM  
Golly, I hope it's RPI, since that's where the Olsen twins are going and all.
2003-01-30 11:50:45 AM  
I hope they offer Business Management Classes!

Todays graduates need business sense and team building skills.
2003-01-30 11:51:18 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Because someone had to post it.
2003-01-30 11:51:23 AM  
final exams will be given orally.
2003-01-30 11:51:46 AM  
01-30-03 11:49:11 AM Buttch
"Daddy, can you help me with my homework, please?"
"What's in it for me?"

thats so wrong but hot......

/going to hell
2003-01-30 11:52:17 AM  
Is it too late to apply?
2003-01-30 11:52:19 AM  
In order to prepare our young women properly, I firmly believe that these classes should be taught starting in high school.
2003-01-30 11:53:06 AM  
Professor Jean Floogle

Sounds like the kind of name that Mad would make up.
2003-01-30 11:54:34 AM  
Um, do people not realize that WWN isnt real news, or isnt even supposed to be real news?
2003-01-30 11:55:22 AM  
Stripping 101:

Choosing a Stripper Name

Whenever possible, use jewels, emeralds or other precious stones. Example:


Also acceptable are scents or names of flowers:

2003-01-30 12:01:01 PM  
Why does my nerf football smell funny?
2003-01-30 12:03:35 PM  
Can we PLEASE stop posting crap articles from the WWN? It's a waste of life to spend any time reading that tripe.
Would a click/don't click button help you, pal? I'll make one if you need it.
2003-01-30 12:04:15 PM  
2003-01-30 12:05:24 PM  
These girls are pulling in $50,000 to $100,000 a year as erotic dancers -- tax-free.

And I though a degree in Accounting would be useful.
2003-01-30 12:06:23 PM  
Also acceptable names end in the letter I:

2003-01-30 12:06:48 PM  
"Strippers can make as much money as doctors or lawyers, just by shaking their butts."

Yes, yes they can.
2003-01-30 12:07:05 PM  
Stripping 101:

Choosing a Stripper Name (cont'd)

Do not choose names that might disgust your patrons. Example:


Also unacceptable are names of celebrities that might invoke vomiting:

Bea Arthur
Carrot Top
Joan Rivers
Ann B. Davis
Liz Taylor
2003-01-30 12:11:39 PM  
What do you REALLY need to learn?

1) Don't look at the audience, look at the back of the room.

2) You are always working your way through law or medical school.

3) You are a greedy coont with no real job skills, taking money from idiots.

4) People who give you "special dollar bills" are suckers who think they have a chance with you (i.e. will spend a lot of money on you for "dates")

5) If someone tells you that you are just helping to reinforce the stereotype of women as objects, just feed them some crap Camille Paglia line about how you are the one in power. Try not to think about how these men who throw money at you to do their bidding will one day pass these values onto their sons and daughters.

You all owe me $20,000 tuition.

Strippers are still some of the funnest people to hang out with outside of work, I just wouldn't give them my money. Hang out with one, and ask them their opinion of everyone who comes into their place.
2003-01-30 12:12:03 PM  
FLA Chickie...The "I" ending is only sanctioned when dotted with a circle.

Demetrius...You are correct, your celebrity name list worked.
2003-01-30 12:23:12 PM  
Final Exam, Question 69:

A man walks into the stripclub. Do you:
A) Give him about 10 minutes to get a drink and survey the club before you approach him
B)Notice whether his wallet bulges with money; if it's on the thin side, don't even bother to make eye contact with him.
C) Immediately slide your hand along his back, rub a boobie on his side, and ask him to buy you a drink
D)Go in the dressing room, do a line of coke, wonder how did you ever get to this moment, then rush back out and try your best to get him into the Champagne room (where there is no sex), because it's not easy being a single mother with no marketable skills.

2003-01-30 12:24:32 PM  
I noticed too, that aside from the fact that "Floogle" is a rather unlikely last name, since Griffith University is accessible from the web, this story can be discounted rather quickly.

They should have said that a stripping degree was available from Australia's prestigious Floogle University and quoted Professor Jean Griffith, at least then it readers could spend all their time trying to confirm whether or not there was a "Floogle University" instead of discover that there are no faculty or students named Floogle.
2003-01-30 12:27:10 PM  
Nono, there are plenty of articles I don't bother to click on. I don't *mind* them, b/c some ppl will get some measure of enjoyment out of the article.

But the WWN... where the articles are not only painfully unrealistic, they attempt to portray themselves as a legitimate news source. I love the Onion, b/c they're trying to be amusing. The WWN is just trying to dupe the idjuts.

It's the whole idea of reading fabricated news stories... that is a complete waste of time. Real news actually gives you useful information. Sites like the Onion are there to amuse you. WWN just feeds you a line of crap, and expects you to enjoy it. Is it any surprise that the American population is dumbing down?
2003-01-30 12:30:57 PM  
Riddil--betterh than links about sports
2003-01-30 12:33:05 PM  
Great. Now only BSAs will get the good jobs as strippers. Now what will the high school dropouts do?
2003-01-30 12:41:01 PM  
So is the college that the Olsen twins, with their 1600 SATs, are going to?

2003-01-30 12:41:20 PM  
Is it any surprise that the American population is dumbing down?
I think that's why the WWN is a successful publication. They didn't cause people to become stupid, the profited from it.
2003-01-30 12:41:31 PM  
Uh... Where do I sign up?! I'm serious.
2003-01-30 12:42:23 PM  
...the profited from it.
THEY! It's a typo! Me no dum!
2003-01-30 12:52:46 PM  
Man, I SO have to audit that class.

Ah, if only...
2003-01-30 1:59:32 PM  
I bet she's working as a lawyer just to pay for stripper school.
2003-01-30 2:33:49 PM  
How is this cool? This is farking dumb.
2003-01-30 3:36:39 PM  
It has to be true. The government won't allow it to be printed if it's not true.

They have "finishing schools", why not one for stripping?
2003-01-30 4:20:40 PM  
This is the first article I've seen in WWN that I could actually believe to be true. Goes to show you how stupid college cirriculums have gotten.

2003-01-30 4:21:39 PM  
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