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(Some Guy)   State of the Union Address drinking game   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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17062 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2003 at 3:17 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

274 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-28 01:48:29 PM  
Before seeing this link: "Dammit! Is 24 ever going to be on TV again? Ever?"

After seeing this link: "If we're going to war, I'd better be drunk. Cheers!"
2003-01-28 03:05:52 PM  
Take one drink everytime he looks at his dad and says, "We're gonna git Saddam, ain't that right, Daddy?"
2003-01-28 03:11:41 PM  
Truly one of the funniest links to appear on Fark in a long time. Hats off to the post-er.
2003-01-28 03:19:43 PM  
Ha! I'd play that.
2003-01-28 03:20:11 PM  
I wonder if Dick will be playing in his undisclosed location?
2003-01-28 03:20:26 PM  
"Axis of Evil" = Finish your drink????

brutal. So much for buying just one case of Yuengling on my way home.
2003-01-28 03:20:32 PM  
Farked already?
2003-01-28 03:21:15 PM  
i shall be attending Coldplay tonight, no time for this.

sounds fun though!
2003-01-28 03:21:39 PM  
Oh man...I'll be farked after the first 10 mins...
2003-01-28 03:21:50 PM  
Too complex... you'd be hammered after the first two minutes and unable to follow the list after that!

Drink every time he mangles a word... like nookular!
2003-01-28 03:22:09 PM  
Great link.

Sleeping Supreme = 3 drinks????

Do they have any idea how old these people are??? It's gonna be after 9:00 PM for God's sake. Please play at home or have a D.D. folks, because we're getting farked tonight.
2003-01-28 03:22:42 PM  
This would necessitate watching the address.

I'd rather get my information relating to our country's current situation from a qualified source.
2003-01-28 03:23:50 PM  
I need to get hammered in advance of the speech. It's the only way he makes sense to me.
2003-01-28 03:26:00 PM  
This is a good idea. Because I was thinking, the only way I'm gonna get through this speech without getting totally depressed is if I get tipsy.
Wait a minute...
2003-01-28 03:26:45 PM  
Officially endorced by Sen. Kennedy!
2003-01-28 03:26:53 PM  
I get twisted just listening to him.
2003-01-28 03:27:22 PM  
I have a drinking game: watch a football game hosted by John Madden. Each time he uses the word "momentum," you drink something.
2003-01-28 03:27:58 PM  
I have been in training for this for months now.
2003-01-28 03:28:13 PM  
I'd give $5 to see Orrin Hatch get loaded...
2003-01-28 03:28:31 PM  
Start drinking now...the only thing left in the speech, not on the list are verbs and adjectives. You have to all buy me drinks if he uses the phrase: "The Iraqi people have all been SADDAMIZED for too long."
2003-01-28 03:28:33 PM  
omg just printed it and i will let you know tomarrow if i am alive
2003-01-28 03:29:00 PM  
While I normally drinking games, why in the hell would anyone want to watch the State of the Union Address? Nothing of note ever happens during these anymore - it obviously jumped the shark 20+ years ago.

Basically, all that happens is if the dude says anything that everyone agrees on, the whole room claps. If he says something that only his team likes, only 1/2 of the room applauds.

It's just basically just one big masturbation party for our nation's political "leaders" every year.
2003-01-28 03:29:54 PM  
Games like this are impossible to play. There's too many things to make you drink; you'll spend the entire damn night looking through the list.
2003-01-28 03:30:17 PM  
ComicBookGuy: Or everytime he says "penetration." I swear he said that at least 20 times in the third quarter of the Super Bowl.

Someone bring back Dennis Miller.

How bout OJ?
2003-01-28 03:31:15 PM  
A suggestion:

Skip the speach tonight. Get a transcript tomorrow. Then wait until the weekend when you will have time to deal with the hangover. Read the transcript and play the game. You will have to skip the mangled words though. I doubt the newpapers will print them phonetically.
2003-01-28 03:32:41 PM  
They left a few off.

Material Breech


Rogue Nations

Old Europe





Campaign Contributions


Missle Defense

If he says Osama bin Laden, drink an entire bottle of Jack.

2003-01-28 03:33:06 PM  
2003-01-28 03:33:21 PM  
shiat. I didn't think it would format like that.
2003-01-28 03:33:37 PM  
Amusing ... but too much to remember.

I prefer Adam Felber's ...
2003-01-28 03:34:26 PM  
I've gotten an advance copy of the speech. He's going for a new strategy based on "american idol":

Bush's anthem... (sung to 'If you're Happy and you Know it')

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
It's pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's all the proof we need,
If they're not there, they must be there,
Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad,
Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.
2003-01-28 03:34:43 PM  
This is a game only a Yale Grad with a "C" average could love, for example...

[image from too old to be available]

2003-01-28 03:35:38 PM  

Bravo on the Yuengling. I grew up drinking that stuff, and until lately couldn't get it at all. Now I have to pay $5 a bottle for it in Manhattan. I miss dollar lager Thursdays back home.
2003-01-28 03:37:24 PM  
2003-01-28 03:38:52 PM  
"Nothing of note ever happens during these anymore - it obviously jumped the shark 20+ years ago."

Laughed my ass off at that one. Good one, TL.

Seriously though, Yahoo! is saying that Bush may give some evidence of Iraq's vilations. I hope so.
2003-01-28 03:39:31 PM  
I'm going to have to watch the speech on Tivo so I can skip the standing ovations he'll get after every third sentence. Ever since I started watching the SOTU addresses during the Clinton years, that little feature has driven me nuts. It kinda devalues everything the President says to have him stop every twelve words to wait for the politically-motivated applause to stop.
2003-01-28 03:41:40 PM  
Totally farked
2003-01-28 03:41:55 PM  
Vilations. huh huh huh. Nukular. Terra.
2003-01-28 03:42:38 PM  
Mnn... Yuengling... about all I want to drink now that they carry it here in NC...
2003-01-28 03:42:55 PM  
This has the potential to make quarters or circle of death look like an office party.
2003-01-28 03:45:50 PM  
True dat NoSkillz . . . Yuengling is all I drink now that it's in the Durham Ghetto.
2003-01-28 03:49:15 PM  
I'll add: If he concludes by saying "Let's Roll," AND you voted for him, hack off your dick with a rusty razor.
2003-01-28 03:49:22 PM  
ComicBookGuy :
I have a drinking game: watch a football game hosted by John Madden. Each time he uses the word "momentum," you drink something.

My grandfather died that way.
2003-01-28 03:49:32 PM  
I'm so proud that my good ole PA beer is getting distribution elsewhere. I'


Its great to hear people in new york call in yoo-ang-ling and say crap like "I don't like asian beers"
2003-01-28 03:51:55 PM  
Drinking games are supposed to be easy, this one will be a pain in da keister...

2003-01-28 03:52:02 PM  
SADDAMIZED. Put that in your lock-box, Algore. Or, does Mama have a squeeze-box and daddy can't sleep at night?
2003-01-28 03:52:20 PM  
all your sobriety are belong to us.
2003-01-28 03:54:46 PM  
"i shall be attending Coldplay tonight, no time for this."

Coldplay is great, but why see them when it is the DAWN OF THE AGE OF ZWAN????!!!!

On topic, this is farking hilarious. I can't wait to get drunk tonite! Woo-HOO!
2003-01-28 03:54:47 PM  
I like Yuengling, and IIRC it's $4.99/six at Trader Joes, but I've got a hankering for some Harpoon Winter Warmer..
2003-01-28 03:57:21 PM  
Yeungling is like the Shiner Bock of the Northeast Corridor.

We sell it at my bar here in DC and it's our most popular beer. (Even more than Miller Lite!)

I plan on finishing that bottle of Knob Creek on tonight's speech. And don't forget, if he slaps Laura on the ass you have to snort a kilo of cocaine, then run some dude off the road.
2003-01-28 03:59:03 PM  
I hate the be a whiner, but I submitted this early this morning--before the time that it shows on TotalFark that this one was submitted--and I got the "Holy Jumpin' Jesus, Bad Kitty" message saying that it had been submitted yesterday or the day before yesterday and not posted. So how did this same page get submitted again, later than that, and not automatically rejected? A true mystery . . . .

Oh, I forgot to add the standard whiney statement: "My headline was better." In this case, it's true, though.
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