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(Sevaan.com)   Farker has attempted to make a short film: "Automobile Trouble"   ( sevaan.com) divider line
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4278 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2003 at 7:07 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

61 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-27 11:33:20 AM  
If you're looking for comedy value, keep trying. It didn't seem to have much of a plot either. But the production was good. Have the driver lurch forward and strain the 2 in front through the fence in a bloody horror. Then you'll have something.
2003-01-27 12:45:17 PM  
Heartwarming. The feel-good hit of the season.
2003-01-27 01:59:56 PM  
I laughed. I cried. It became a part of me.
2003-01-27 02:39:07 PM  
Two thumbs up. I'll see it again and again.
2003-01-27 03:12:34 PM  
That was great. It touched as no other movie has.
2003-01-27 05:34:01 PM  







but why did everyone have to die in the end? ROFL

[image from image.inkfrog.com too old to be available]
2003-01-27 05:51:38 PM  
I did notice the glaring lack of a "money shot".
2003-01-28 01:31:44 AM  
11 MB for a 1.5 minute film? Savaan about to test 'Unlimited Bandwidth' claim of ISP...

A very well made film, though. I can't wait for the DVD.
2003-01-28 07:13:56 AM  
2003-01-28 07:15:03 AM  
looks well produced, as good as you can get on hi8 or digi8 or whatever camcorders use these days. how long until someone grabs a frame and, voila! Insta-Cliche!
2003-01-28 07:15:26 AM  
I laughed I cried, then I downloaded and watched this movie.
2003-01-28 07:16:08 AM  
Would like to see some prOn done in that style.
2003-01-28 07:20:11 AM  
i laughed. then i cried, realizing this poor guy's gonna get a monster bill in the mail for bandwidth costs...
2003-01-28 07:29:27 AM  
an aside: Strong Bad is playing Star Flight these days! I love that game.
2003-01-28 07:31:33 AM  
I didn't realize Natalie Portman acted in such low budget flicks...must be a close friend, I mean to go topless and all.
2003-01-28 07:44:00 AM  
What can you do with your erector set?
2003-01-28 07:47:53 AM  
10 MB? fark you! so much MB only for porn!!!!
2003-01-28 07:55:41 AM  
forgot a word there somewhere...
2003-01-28 08:10:06 AM  

I think you post very clear.

2003-01-28 08:21:40 AM  
MsPentyuth: Yes, I agree. And that scene with Kitana Baker jumping on a trampoline in the nude? How did he manage THAT?
2003-01-28 08:21:46 AM  
Very catchy title!
2003-01-28 08:58:22 AM  
Looks like today is an exciting opportunity for someone new to learn about bandwidth limitations on ISPs. You're growin up right before my eyes, baby.

farked. :/

2003-01-28 09:13:58 AM  

Now I have to actually do some work.

2003-01-28 09:26:27 AM  
farker should learn more about teh interweb

phpBB : Critical Error

Error creating new session
2003-01-28 09:26:43 AM  
I saw this yesterday when it was on TotalFark... pretty good, and much better than anything I could do. The only suggestion I have is if you are looking for the old-timey look, you might want to speed it up a little. Other than that, good work.
2003-01-28 09:32:29 AM  
"sped up" silent movies are the result of idiot projectionists running films at the wrong speed.
2003-01-28 09:38:36 AM  
The link is still up! Just go here:


Btw, I'm Sevaan...it's my film. Anyone know anything about phpBB and why it farked up? And I'm not worried about bandwidth...I have connections ;-)
2003-01-28 09:49:42 AM  
"We are men. Let us push!"

"Man damn!"

Heh. Good stuff.
2003-01-28 09:57:20 AM  
Farked already?
2003-01-28 10:04:59 AM  
Took forever to download... no thanks
2003-01-28 10:13:33 AM  
"Donger where is my automobile"

AAAAuuutomobile? Bang crashh eerrrrrrr
2003-01-28 10:34:20 AM  
automobile trouble?
my automobile's trouble is: it's too farking cold!
2003-01-28 10:36:55 AM  
It was good. I laughed a couple times. The only thing is that when the cameraman was walking from one side of the car to the other, it was really shaky. Blech....

Other than that: Good job.
2003-01-28 10:36:56 AM  
The server is farked, no download for me !
2003-01-28 11:41:35 AM  
Hip hip...


(Well done.)
2003-01-28 11:46:22 AM  
Just do what Kevin Smith did...

Make a big-budget, low budget comedies by masquerading third-string observational humor about popculture references as dialogue.

"Yes, I too often wondered about the usefulness of imperial storm trooper armor"

Add stereotypes in place of character:

When a character is black, he hates white people (this has gotten better). When a character is a gay man, he is really flitty. Lesbians are all cock hungry nymphos who are just looking for a man.

Base your plot around something any half-intelligent fourteen year old thought about and forgot about at breakfast.

"Hey, what if GOD was a woman? Dude, that would so mess with everyone's pre-conceived notions of an all-powerful being..."

Steal an idea from Jackson Pollock: why bother developing as a writer or a director when you can just do the same thing with the same characters over and over again and people will still kiss your ass.

Ten minutes before you have to end your movie, remember that you had a plot and find some neat, easy and implausible way to make everyone live happily ever after.

Find a million people too stupid to know when their intelligence is being insulted with poor character development, horrible dialogue and even worse direction.

Me and you, except I learned better after Clerks.
2003-01-28 12:07:07 PM  
I can't wait for the DVD so I can hear the director's commentary.

"This is where Travis fell on his ass after the car moved, it wasn't in the script, but Travis has this unique talent that allows him to make a complete ass of himself whenever a camera is rolling. Travis is a true artist."
2003-01-28 12:13:52 PM  
car, Car, CAR, Car, car . .
2003-01-28 12:20:07 PM  
SockMonkeyHolocaust - Yeah, and what about those five or so universal literary themes! Soooo old and busted! Not to mention the endemic pandering to narrative convention. fark.

Damned unimaginative, unintelligent hacks, all of them. The world just isn't ready for my brand of wholly original, sassy and challenging storytelling style.. probably because people are all retards who wouldn't know genius if it gave them excruciating gas pains.

I swear, it's as if people don't know that there are absoulte standards of taste or something...

/please tell me that you think that any work devoid of political significance isn't worth scrutiny, or something similarly arrogant and elitist.

//please, please provide a sample of your own work for the rest of us to gleefully shred and scorn. I've fronted my own attempt at satiric sarcasm as a gesture of faith... have fun.

///If it isn't too much trouble, could you say that you like George Lynch or Darren Aronofsky?
2003-01-28 12:20:24 PM  
To unfark this server the admin needs to flush the sessions table and increase the heap size (depending on how much memory the server has).

2003-01-28 12:24:44 PM  
Did anyone notice that part were they all patted the spot were the car was stuck towards the end?,was that some hidden meaning? My thought is that it was actually part of a dream sequence sort of like tipping your hat at the David Lynch style,plus I liked the hidden symbolism attesting to man's need to break away from one's own anguish of being.
2003-01-28 12:31:29 PM  
Who's George Lynch?
2003-01-28 12:38:18 PM  
Pober - George Lynch is a revolutionary, avante-garde artist, one of the true geniuses in the industry. He is perhaps the first director to have figured out that one can compensate for poor, disjointed and hackneyed existential explorations of modern life by appending an hour of hot lesbian sex to one's work.
2003-01-28 12:44:53 PM  
I think they are "cleaning" their hands on the snow. Thats what I do when my hands get cruded up in the winter and there aren't any towells or anything around.
2003-01-28 12:48:48 PM  
George Lynch? Is he, like, the love child of George Lucas and David Lynch?
2003-01-28 12:49:31 PM  
Anyway, my point is that it's easy to find anything anyone does to be base, shallow and contemptible, but much more difficult to actually create anything.
2003-01-28 12:51:46 PM  
Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought the reason silent movies are speed up is because they were generally shot at 18 frames per second. The addition of the sound track required the film to be pulled through the projector faster to increase the quality of the sound and therefore they increased the frame rate to 30 frames per second. Since all modern projectors/TVs have a frame rate of 30 frames per second (discounting drop frame, etc.) and since 18 doesn't fit nicely into 30 (so you can't just double the frames), they just project the original at 30 fps and it looks faster. I don't think they are idiots, they just can't fit them nicely into TV broadcasts.
2003-01-28 12:52:14 PM  
Sorry, but I just don't like films and film makers who insult my intelligence. You shouldn't either, and Kevin Smith is lower than a hack. If you want really interesting and thought provoking, try anything by Jan Svenkmeyer...I have a feeling you would really dig him.

"what about those five or so universal literary themes" Actually, there are more universal plot lines than that (please pardon the lack of detail). The real difficult task is to actually be able to make them seem interesting and different, a task which most movie makers fail miserably (and Kevin Smith more notably). The wretch has had several movies to grow as a writer and a director but he hasn't. Did you see the number of writing credits that were shared at the end of Dogma? How tired are Jay and Silent Bob as characters? A puddle in a bar parking lot has more depth.

Dude, I dig Dokken. Can't really get into Lynch's solo stuff.

As for shooting up or shutting up, i just redid my site and haven't had any time to put everything up:
I have been busy with design work for CDROMS and webmercials, but there should be a considerable amount of stuff up by March.
Also, root around here:
and you will find some album reviews and interviews that I did a long time ago...my fav was Jello Biafra
2003-01-28 12:52:38 PM  
JimJones, I think they were cleaning their hands/gloves.

After all, it was a Chevy, wasn't it?

2003-01-28 12:53:42 PM  
Aak. George Lynch was in Dokken. There's one who plays basketball, too.

I blame the ethernet guitar link. And alcohol.

I meant David Lynch, of course.

/disappears in a puff of shame
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