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(AP)   Judge rules that the First Amendment doesn't guarantee woman's right to smuggle endangered monkey meat into the country   (hosted.ap.org) divider line
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    More: Weird  
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2895 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2009 at 9:49 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



52 Comments     (+0 »)


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Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2009-01-03 7:55:56 PM  
<dave barry>Endangered Monkey Meat would be a GREAT name for a rock band.</dave barry>
 
dj_bigbird
2009-01-03 8:06:26 PM  
Manneh manneh, doot-doo-doo-doo

apollopony.netView Full Size
 
awfulperson
2009-01-03 8:16:10 PM  
What about greasy grimy gopher guts?
 
MorningBreath [TotalFark]
2009-01-03 8:35:40 PM  
No, but the right to privacy allows it.
 
CitizenTed
2009-01-03 8:42:29 PM  
First they came for the monkey meat, and I said nothing because I wasn't a monkey...
 
Dallymo [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2009-01-03 8:52:49 PM  

awfulperson: What about greasy grimy gopher guts?


And hairy little piglets' feet? And the porpoise pus, I suppose that's right out?

Pink lemonade is still OK.
 
LadyHawke
2009-01-03 9:29:29 PM  

Dallymo: awfulperson: What about greasy grimy gopher guts?

And hairy little piglets' feet? And the porpoise pus, I suppose that's right out?

Pink lemonade is still OK.


I forgot my spoon :( ....
 
gopher321 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2009-01-03 9:42:02 PM  

LadyHawke: Dallymo: awfulperson: What about greasy grimy gopher guts?

And hairy little piglets' feet? And the porpoise pus, I suppose that's right out?

Pink lemonade is still OK.

I forgot my spoon :( ....


But I still got my straw. :)
 
beoswulf
2009-01-03 9:52:35 PM  

MorningBreath: No, but the right to privacy allows it.


Nah, women's lib and femnism does.
 
ScottMpls
2009-01-03 9:53:02 PM  
Is monkey "meat" code for monkey "dick"?
 
rezfly
2009-01-03 9:53:57 PM  
yum. monkey meat. actually i think this post has more to do w/ the pizza taking too long to deliver. :/
 
Walker [TotalFark]
2009-01-03 9:57:41 PM  
img.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
MooseUpNorth
2009-01-03 9:59:42 PM  
She actually used the First Amendment as a defense? Surely she'd have had a better argument with the Second Amendment claim.

/ That is, if the US constitution defines the right to bear arms, she should have the corresponding right to her monkey peckers.
 
Pegasus_CAG
2009-01-03 9:59:57 PM  
If smuggling endangered monkey meat is wrong I don't want to be right.
 
Doctor Funkenstein
2009-01-03 10:00:24 PM  
Well, I did a GIS for "monkey meat." Not really sure what it was I expected to find. Don't you do one, too. Just...don't do it.
 
plumbicon
2009-01-03 10:00:26 PM  

ScottMpls: Is monkey "meat" code for monkey "dick"?


If you really want it to be....
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2009-01-03 10:01:11 PM  
I didn't know monkey meat was endangered. So if she smuggles in the fur and bones, that would be okay? Probably not as edible, but less endangered.
 
CravenMorehead
2009-01-03 10:01:38 PM  
How will we make monkey bacon then?
 
AuralArgument
2009-01-03 10:02:43 PM  

Doctor Funkenstein: Just...don't do it.


Now i have to
 
I_Am_Weasel
2009-01-03 10:03:11 PM  
Headline: Judge Spanks Monkey Meat.
 
animalmagnet
2009-01-03 10:03:54 PM  
That's just stupid. If your religion condones (or requires) human sacrifice, the first amendment won't protect you from prosecution under murder statutes.
 
AuralArgument
2009-01-03 10:04:07 PM  
AuralArgument:

i don't see the big deal
 
Doctor Funkenstein
2009-01-03 10:05:25 PM  

AuralArgument: Doctor Funkenstein: Just...don't do it.

Now i have to


It's not pleasant. Not the worst thing I've ever seen, but be warned.

It's dangerous to go alone. Take this.
/hands AuralArgument a kitten
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2009-01-03 10:05:43 PM  

animalmagnet: That's just stupid. If your religion condones (or requires) human sacrifice, the first amendment won't protect you from prosecution under murder statutes.


Really? Damn.

/makes note to start new defense for those human sacrifices to Kali.
 
Doctor Funkenstein
2009-01-03 10:08:31 PM  

AuralArgument: AuralArgument:

i don't see the big deal


I got a bunch of ass-whooped, skinned monkeys. And a naked Japanese guy for some reason. What came up for you?
 
cksewell
2009-01-03 10:10:52 PM  
When the bible says, "eat monkey meat" dammit you eat monkey meat
 
tonesskin
2009-01-03 10:16:37 PM  
Damn activists judges!
 
Manfred J. Hattan
2009-01-03 10:17:49 PM  
"She actually used the First Amendment as a defense? Surely she'd have had a better argument with the Second Amendment claim.

/ That is, if the US constitution defines the right to bear arms, she should have the corresponding right to her monkey peckers."

That's preposterous, of course. However, if she had only been importing the monkey's extremeties she might have had a good claim under the commerce claws...
 
blkhwk86
2009-01-03 10:19:17 PM  
Sounds weird, but then eating monkey meat is one speculation into the idea of HIV spreading to humans from monkeys. Were the dog, cat, and rat already eaten?
 
AuralArgument
2009-01-03 10:21:31 PM  

Doctor Funkenstein: What came up for you?


same the hanging jack was on meat hooks, but I've seen worse

/should stay outta 4chan
 
EL_FABREZ
2009-01-03 10:27:10 PM  
img224.imageshack.usView Full Size
 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros
2009-01-03 10:28:23 PM  
I would think that'd be allowed in her carrion luggage.
 
proser
2009-01-03 10:28:46 PM  
FTA:Manneh's lawyers claimed a First Amendment right, arguing that some Liberian Christians eat monkey meat for spiritual reasons.

You can't just claim this. There has to be some well-established religious practice to argue the 1st amendment. You can't invoke Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof just because. If I cooked up a religion in my basement and got everyone on my block to agree that a stray-pet-barbeque each Saturday was a way to worship, the hands of the government would be spreading my cheeks pretty quick. If the Bible states that you need to eat monkey meat, you might have a case.

/It does not say that.
 
EL_FABREZ
2009-01-03 10:30:19 PM  
Is it Mon(k)day?
 
Calcasieu
2009-01-03 10:32:32 PM  
Dallymo: And the porpoise pus, I suppose that's right out?

Only if it's plippy-ploppy.

What about chopped up baby parakeet? Has anyone heard anything?
 
Dinjiin [BareFark]
2009-01-03 10:36:38 PM  
i4.photobucket.comView Full Size



/no monkey shenanigans around here
 
bacallxo
2009-01-03 10:37:25 PM  
They should punish her by making her eat it.
 
tonesskin
2009-01-03 10:39:51 PM  

bacallxo: They should punish her by making her eat it.


Or by making her watch Jessica Simpson movies followed by Bush speeches on continuous repeat for a week.
 
ScottMpls
2009-01-03 10:40:22 PM  

cksewell: When the bible says, "eat monkey meat" dammit you eat monkey meat


Obviously Jebus ate monkey meat too.
 
Robert1966
2009-01-03 10:40:49 PM  
our rights under fire!!!
 
BeerinDaJacuzzi
2009-01-03 10:46:51 PM  
Damn. There goes my plan to convert to Rastafarianism, travel to Amsterdam for my *ahem* pilgrimage, and bring some choice green back with me...
 
One Million
2009-01-03 10:54:09 PM  

gopher321: LadyHawke: Dallymo: awfulperson: What about greasy grimy gopher guts?

And hairy little piglets' feet? And the porpoise pus, I suppose that's right out?

Pink lemonade is still OK.

I forgot my spoon :( ....

But I still got my straw. :)


Was the monkey meat mutilated?
 
Oh no you di'nt
2009-01-03 10:57:23 PM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: I would think that'd be allowed in her carrion luggage.


Bravo!
 
UncleCal
2009-01-03 10:58:11 PM  
Rat in a Box:

There's a smell in the air
that reminds you of hair
You've got something to get
and it looks like your pet!
(aren't you hungry ?)
First we take some rat parts
and fry them up real nice.
Then we skin the kitties,
and barbeque the mice!

Guts in a Cup! (Yum!)
Mouse on a Stick! (Wow!)
French-fried Fleas
and Beer-battered Ticks!

Ra-aaat in a box...
(We fry what you won't--)
Ra-aaat in a box...
(We fry what you won't--)
Ra-aaat in a box...
(We fry what you won't...TOUCH!)

 
Oznog
2009-01-03 11:02:44 PM  

Dinjiin: /no monkey shenanigans around here


None 12PM-12AM?
Is that to say it IS a designated spanking area 12AM-12PM?
 
socoloco
2009-01-03 11:17:14 PM  
If it wasn't tenderized, lightly dusted with flour, almond encrusted and pan fried with a light bernaise sauce she never had a chance. That Judge is picky.

\I'm sure they left out the condom-orifice part.
 
cretinbob [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2009-01-04 12:03:06 AM  
Yes, greasey grimy gopher guts and little dirty birdy feet are still OK.
 
mynameist
2009-01-04 12:30:40 AM  
I think this is BS and just goes to show how powerful big brother is in our 'free' country.
Not only is the meat going into her own body, but these monkeys aren't even American.
 
fanbladesaresharp
2009-01-04 12:30:47 AM  

cksewell: When the bible says, "eat monkey meat" dammit you eat monkey meat


Except that it doesn't. She can go back to Liberia and eat it all she wants. We don't do that shiat over here.

/purple headed people eater
 
Guy__Incognito
2009-01-04 12:54:43 AM  
Isn't there an Ebola risk in eating monkey meat?
 
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