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(Some Guy)   Doctor tells woman her liver looks like a "dried up old meatloaf," gives her about 10 minutes to live until another woman's liver replaces the meatloaf. Man, I'm hungry   (gazette.com) divider line
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9139 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2008 at 4:47 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
FuLinHyu [OhFark]
2008-12-31 1:42:12 PM  
I think I have something in my eye.

/Yes, you can have it (and anything else) once I'm dead
 
MaxxLarge
2008-12-31 1:44:31 PM  
The doctor's express diagnosis?
The final result is cirrhosis.
He left you a note.
It reads, and I quote:
"Stop drinking-improve your prognosis."
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2008-12-31 1:53:39 PM  
And her sebum for smashed potatoes.
/now I'm hungry
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2008-12-31 1:54:16 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: And her sebum for smashed potatoes.


What about gravy, stuffing and peas?
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2008-12-31 2:02:05 PM  

You Can't Fix Stupid: AlwaysRightBoy: And her sebum for smashed potatoes.

What about gravy, stuffing and peas?


I'm trying but I'm stumped on peas....
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2008-12-31 2:59:10 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: I'm trying but I'm stumped on peas....


How about lymph nodes?
 
Sensei Can You See [TotalFark]
2008-12-31 3:00:21 PM  

AlwaysRightBoy: And her sebum for smashed potatoes.


Approves.

morethings.comView Full Size
 
AlwaysRightBoy [TotalFark]
2008-12-31 3:06:29 PM  

You Can't Fix Stupid: AlwaysRightBoy: I'm trying but I'm stumped on peas....

How about lymph nodes?


I was thinking of going with her eggs.
/probably not fertile though
 
Boritom
2008-12-31 3:14:17 PM  
Meat Loaf may be getting on in years, but "Dried Up?" That's pretty heartless.

I'll take mine with Hot Patootie sauce.
 
pedanticmofo
2008-12-31 4:49:29 PM  
It's lupus.
 
Scott77
2008-12-31 4:49:44 PM  
Was there bacon on the meatloaf?

/dnrta
 
EmployeeOfTheMinute
2008-12-31 4:53:20 PM  

MaxxLarge: The doctor's express diagnosis?
The final result is cirrhosis.
He left you a note.
It reads, and I quote:
"Stop drinking-improve your prognosis."


You sir, are awesome...
 
MadAzza
2008-12-31 4:53:34 PM  

MaxxLarge: The doctor's express diagnosis?
The final result is cirrhosis.
He left you a note.
It reads, and I quote:
"Stop drinking-improve your prognosis."


FTA, which you obviously didn't bother to read:

Her liver looked like "a dried-up old meatloaf" because of a genetic problem, and she had languished on the organ recipient list for five years. Her time was up.

However, your limericks are cute. Please carry on.

/not being snarky
 
ironrat
2008-12-31 4:58:22 PM  
It is nice they gave it to someone with a genetic defect instead of a rich drunk druggy
 
EngineerBoy
2008-12-31 4:58:39 PM  
Years ago my dad participated in a stop-smoking program that took place in association with a cancer hospice. The deal was you spent a week there, had some counseling sessions, but also went on rounds with a doctor, met the patients, and attended an autopsy of a lung cancer victim who had smoked.

He described the lungs as looking like two uninflated black balloons stuffed with marbles.

He also quit permanently, but unfortunately still died young. From cancer.
 
Alexia Ikyu
2008-12-31 5:05:31 PM  
Is any one's mind exploding from trying to keep every one straight in the article? This is decent writing, but I keep feeling like they are leaving out those key important cues that help the article flow.
 
John Buck 41
2008-12-31 5:05:43 PM  
FTA--"I'm glad to hear they're looking at (the case) again," said Deb Luzinski, of Woodbury, a director for the Metro Bowhunters Resource Base, a nonprofit group that culls deer for municipalities.

"He (Mereness) may not understand what the consequences are of shooting a crossbow and hitting someone driving on the freeway that morning."

Ah, but that's just it. He didn't. Prosecute him for whatever law he broke (or don't, whatever) but don't prosecute him for what might've happened.
 
John Buck 41
2008-12-31 5:07:11 PM  

John Buck 41: FTA--"I'm glad to hear they're looking at (the case) again," said Deb Luzinski, of Woodbury, a director for the Metro Bowhunters Resource Base, a nonprofit group that culls deer for municipalities.

"He (Mereness) may not understand what the consequences are of shooting a crossbow and hitting someone driving on the freeway that morning."

Ah, but that's just it. He didn't. Prosecute him for whatever law he broke (or don't, whatever) but don't prosecute him for what might've happened.


Aarrgghh! Wrong thread. Have no idea how that happened. Havn't even started drinking yet.
 
Poopspasm
2008-12-31 5:13:34 PM  
solarnavigator.netView Full Size


Approves.
 
puppywuppy
2008-12-31 5:32:28 PM  
Everybody quit pissing out of your eyes.
 
stvdallas
2008-12-31 5:40:10 PM  
I ate her liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

ffttttftttfttttftttttfttttt....
 
ieldanth
2008-12-31 5:59:49 PM  
wouldn't her liver go better with, say, turnip greens and a diet pepsi?
 
Bwahaha
2008-12-31 6:10:16 PM  
I had fried liver, with mushrooms and onions and potatoes for lunch.

//delicious.


///Happy New Year !
 
mosten
2008-12-31 6:15:32 PM  
media.rockymountainnews.comView Full Size
 
X-boxershorts
2008-12-31 6:22:35 PM  
Speaking of Liver resembling a dried up piece of meatloaf...

PAGING MR. THUNDERPIPES...MR THUNDERPIPES, ETERNITY ON LINE 1
 
X-boxershorts
2008-12-31 6:25:19 PM  

John Buck 41: John Buck 41: FTA--"I'm glad to hear they're looking at (the case) again," said Deb Luzinski, of Woodbury, a director for the Metro Bowhunters Resource Base, a nonprofit group that culls deer for municipalities.

"He (Mereness) may not understand what the consequences are of shooting a crossbow and hitting someone driving on the freeway that morning."

Ah, but that's just it. He didn't. Prosecute him for whatever law he broke (or don't, whatever) but don't prosecute him for what might've happened.

Aarrgghh! Wrong thread. Have no idea how that happened. Havn't even started drinking yet.



There ya go...answered yer own question.
 
Phone_Answering_Monkey
2008-12-31 6:30:28 PM  
"There's good news and bad news: The good news is your liver looks basically like a liver."
"Oh, that's good."
"Yes....the bad news is it looks like it's been sauteed and smothered with onions."
"...ah..."
"How'd you even get those in there?"
 
Janine Melnitz
2008-12-31 6:38:32 PM  
As someone who had a kidney transplant two weeks ago, I'm getting a real kick...
 
CygnusDarius
2008-12-31 6:39:03 PM  
whatwereeating.comView Full Size

Meatloaf?

Or..

jimsteinman.comView Full Size

Meatloaf?
 
wildcardjack
2008-12-31 7:06:54 PM  
I can't wait until they perfect cloning livers. I'll get one brewing then go on a mushroom unknown edibility trek without worry about them killing my liver.
 
smells homeless
2008-12-31 7:11:43 PM  
MaxxLarge:

I truly do like all your stuff,
And the fact that good limericks are tough.
Could you say, "What the hell?"
and try villanelle,
to show your one trick's not a bluff?

/A sestina would be even better
//I'm not a poet at all, just encouraging you
///Yes, I know it's obvious
 
Boritom
2008-12-31 7:33:09 PM  

smells homeless: MaxxLarge:

I truly do like all your stuff,
And the fact that good limericks are tough.
Could you say, "What the hell?"
and try villanelle,
to show your one trick's not a bluff?

/A sestina would be even better
//I'm not a poet at all, just encouraging you
///Yes, I know it's obvious


Fark thread poetry
A problematic folly
Nonetheless, Maxx Wins!
 
jub0r
2008-12-31 7:37:25 PM  
"Kenny, we've accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have five seconds to live."
 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch
2008-12-31 7:39:30 PM  
Couldn't read the last part of the headline. Something in my eye.
 
smells homeless
2008-12-31 7:47:23 PM  

Boritom:

Fark thread poetry
A problematic folly
Nonetheless, Maxx Wins!


Without a doubt, you are right!
I'm not armed. Poetry fight!

/I'm officially out of semi-obscure poetry forms
//Blew my load with that Tanka
 
KrispyKritter
2008-12-31 8:35:29 PM  
Poopspasm made me spit out my Chianti
 
hemiroid
2008-12-31 8:37:01 PM  

MaxxLarge: The doctor's express diagnosis?
The final result is cirrhosis.
He left you a note.
It reads, and I quote:
"Stop drinking-improve your prognosis."

I was told there would be no poetry.
 
Fingerhead
2008-12-31 10:17:21 PM  
Wait, the factoids at the bottom of the article said 500,000 people's lives are saved each year by organ donation and that 18 people a day die on the waiting lists. So, about 6570 people die because they didn't get one in time. Those are pretty good odds. Only 1.31%! If one dead person's organs can save 8 lives, only 821.25 people need to become organ donors and we've solved this problem.
 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch
2009-01-01 3:25:02 AM  

macross87: /hot like a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual Transylvania.


Nice to see Amy Winehouse getting work again.
 
leonel
2009-01-01 4:06:19 PM  

Boritom: Meat Loaf may be getting on in years, but "Dried Up?" That's pretty heartless.


Well he's got that voice thing that's been flaring up on and off for a while now.
 
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