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(ClosetElvis)   Unpopular insults that should be used more often.   ( closetelvis.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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5703 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Aug 2001 at 7:35 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

41 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-08-28 08:19:55 AM  
They're unpopular because they're asinine. This more resembles one of those "Arguments Against Vanity Pages" submissions than an actual "amusing".
2001-08-28 08:30:23 AM  
Who wants an insult you have to stop and explain?

Like a joke, if you have to stop and explain it afterwards, it's not a good one.
2001-08-28 09:03:24 AM  
2001-08-28 09:04:32 AM  
Those were all lame. What a buttmunch.
2001-08-28 09:05:58 AM  
HA! I especially like the one about being French. And the best thing about these (or any obscure insult) is using them and NOT explaining them. Leave 'em wondering if you're mad, much more intelligent than them, or just wierd (or some combination). Kinda like talking about obscure impressionist painters of the 14th century at cocktail parties.
2001-08-28 09:31:32 AM  
I myself prefer to insult people with something like "You stupid goat's penis"

Remember kids, you can use this one in school, because theres no profanity in it!
2001-08-28 09:37:05 AM  
Sasqatch: If explaining makes them bad, what should I say? I have to translate them first...
2001-08-28 09:44:39 AM  
I agree that an insult doesn't have much effect if the victim doesn't know what it means.

"Penal Wok is an obscure insult. Physically, it is the shape a hand makes as it grips a penis. Not the hand itself or the penis with a hand on it, but the actual shape that the hand makes. Think of a penal wok as a square, circle or quadrilateral. It is simply a mathematical surface that can be described in a series of integrals and equations."

Would that be my hand, or somebody elses?
2001-08-28 09:44:47 AM  
There's rarely a situation that extreme violence can't solve.
2001-08-28 09:50:43 AM  
Good point Goatman264.
2001-08-28 09:51:42 AM  
My favorite insults are Shakesperean - just familiar enough to be effective; just arcane enough to be sophisticated.
2001-08-28 10:12:31 AM  
I nominate this for one of the most lame-ass submissions to date. What was this, some 4th grader's attempt at humor/satire.

Please. We Farkers are a discriminating lot. We need cerebral stimulation. We need to be challenged. We need,,,we need BOOBIES and WALKEN.

(Seriously. Kick this shiat up a notch.)
2001-08-28 10:17:13 AM  
LameOhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !
2001-08-28 10:36:55 AM  
i like ass-vacuum.
2001-08-28 10:44:05 AM  
"butt cheese" has always been near the top of my list along with "the best part of you ran down your mother's leg"
2001-08-28 11:20:46 AM  
I prefer "chump stain"
2001-08-28 11:21:21 AM  
Mme.Mersault I was just thinking, "ASSCLOWN". laf.

BassetHound That's great (the 2nd one)!!
2001-08-28 11:38:11 AM  
oh shiat, ass-vacuum cracked me up!!
2001-08-28 11:43:03 AM  
Actually, this is much better -http://www.pythonline.com/spamclub/abuse/abuse2.shtml
2001-08-28 11:59:24 AM  
We do actually need more boobies...
2001-08-28 12:06:12 PM  
2001-08-28 12:25:00 PM  
Plus, the line is 'cock-gobblers', not cock-goggles. I wrote the guy, and he responded with this:
Huh, you learn something new everyday. So I guess I made up a new one. I'm assuming you got to the page from FARK. FARK is blocked in my job, if you go back to FARK can you post an apology for me. Thanks for the insight,
2001-08-28 12:39:27 PM  
The Southpark movie really served up some great insults. Nothing like a barage of cuss words that disorients the victim before you kick them square in da nuts.


George Carlin: "Fark you, you farking fark!"
2001-08-28 01:52:01 PM  
Cpt Chode's "Lipstick wearing felch-monkey" is about my favourite.
2001-08-28 01:54:35 PM  
i like "ass-neck"

when you are sitting on the couch at a party and someone sits behind you on the back of the couch, their ass on your neck. happens all the time...
2001-08-28 03:02:16 PM  
Mr. Lincoln's favorite...

"You sock-dologing old mantrap"

(is this an obscure reference of what?)
2001-08-28 03:02:50 PM  
2001-08-28 03:02:55 PM  
Crimson King: Could you explain that one? Is the GOAT stupid, or is the goat's PENIS stupid?

"It's not the goat, or the penis, but the curved shape that the stupid forms around the goat's penis..."
2001-08-28 04:08:32 PM  
I would vote for this being in the top 10 lamest submissions too. As far as insults go, how about

Road undulation
semen soaked uvula
cerebally challenged
You are just average

On a side note. In floor hockey intramurals in college, one of the teams that I was on was called "My Sister's Menarche". Most people had no idea what that meant.
2001-08-28 04:26:43 PM  
I like the one where me and a friend were double teaming your mom and we got so bored we shaved a checkerboard in her back.

Oh yeah, and then there's the one where you are a yak fellating feculent son of a guttersnipe who enjoys sucking farts out of chickens.
2001-08-28 04:43:57 PM  
see...guaranteed to shut people up for at least 15 minutes.
2001-08-28 04:51:59 PM  
how about Fudge Packer...
2001-08-28 05:14:48 PM  
The best insults (or the most childish) have alliteration to them, like Sparrow-Screwing Scrotum Scratcher.
2001-08-28 05:40:20 PM  
needle-dick the bug farker.
2001-08-28 06:06:52 PM  
I've always liked "Piece of garbage wrapped in human skin." It has texture.
2001-08-28 06:41:19 PM  
Billy Goat Puff was awesome.

Funkychuck: I notcied taht about the cock garblers too. Pretty classy of that guy to say, "my bad".
2001-08-28 07:46:15 PM  
cone has been a long time favorite of mine...

You cone...
2001-08-28 09:48:17 PM  
"The dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits."
(Shakespeare, "As You Like It", 1.2. 52-53)
2001-08-28 10:48:06 PM  
"oxygen thief"
"sperm burping gutterslut from hell"
"penis with ears"
"assistant felcher"
2001-08-29 12:14:23 AM  
anal sauce sucker

donkey farker
2001-08-30 12:27:11 AM  
"one load your mom should have swallowed"
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