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(Globe and Mail)   295 kids going to hell because baptisms weren't performed properly   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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12130 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2003 at 3:43 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

252 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-01-14 03:58:06 PM  
It's a trap. Parents hold on to your children. Its those wacky priests again. Trying to get more children back under their fold ! Run home Jack !
2003-01-14 03:59:09 PM  
If all the whores, drug dealers, loose women and amoral nut jobs go to hell, can it really be a bad place?
That whole "Better to Rulke in Hell than Serve the boring Church Geeks in HEaven " statement really has a ring of truth to it, don't it?
I mean, I hated the Nuns at my church. They were all uptight, celebate, frustrated cawing hens with a violence streak a mile wide. Are these the people I want to spend eternity with?
2003-01-14 03:59:14 PM  
What is it about sinful children that makes them so sexy? Did I just say that out loud?
2003-01-14 04:00:48 PM  
Alto_Reed: We have you to thank for it. I was merely inspired by our new lord. Praise dog!
2003-01-14 04:01:25 PM  
If it makes you feel better Depafeo, I have a certain penchant for sinful twenty-something college girls with large, uh, trust funds.
2003-01-14 04:01:41 PM  
Quizzical dog recommends this movie to answer all your eschatological questions:

<img src="​g"
2003-01-14 04:02:18 PM  
Quizzical dog also hates HTML...

[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-14 04:02:31 PM  
Alright, whose dog is that? Maybe I'm a little sappy, but I laugh everytime I see it
2003-01-14 04:02:47 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Quizzical Dogs Unite
2003-01-14 04:03:38 PM  
Stories like this make me question my own faith.
2003-01-14 04:04:14 PM  
Whay didn't these baptisms stick? Is their holy water not magic enough?
2003-01-14 04:04:56 PM  
Things like SCIENCE made me question my faith...when I was 14.
2003-01-14 04:05:34 PM  
Nuns are looking for unbaptized kids : "It is better to die than to burn in hell for eternity ... "
[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-14 04:05:41 PM  
it's shiat like this in my church that disgusts me.

by being caught up too much in the specifics of rituals and rules (which, generally, are valuable in many ways), we're losing sight of the powerful impact faith and religion can have on one's life.

no wonder i don't go to church. it sucks.

2003-01-14 04:06:05 PM  
Would it be mean to babtize baby vampires?
2003-01-14 04:06:12 PM  
If quizzical dog is on PCP, not so quizzical dog looks like he's just dropped five tamazepam.
2003-01-14 04:06:39 PM  
Damn it! Just what I need. More kids running around in a gang, making noise and messing everything up. Hell used to be such a quiet, peaceful place.
2003-01-14 04:06:41 PM  
Quizzical dog lives in my bio
2003-01-14 04:06:56 PM  

[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-14 04:07:33 PM  

Isn't "SCIENCE" just a religion based on factual information?
2003-01-14 04:08:14 PM  
but it always makes me laugh when one religion makes fun of another.

Right, but you're much too englightened to do that right Capn?

You just make fun of anyone who believes anything other than what you do...
2003-01-14 04:08:17 PM  
Those born-again baptists have a funky baptism ceremony.
`Do a cannonball for Jesus'
`I'd prefer a double axel with a half gainer!'
2003-01-14 04:08:39 PM  
So should we all just go right ahead and post pictures of our dogs and do a vote thingy on them? Perhaps elect a new FARK mascot?
2003-01-14 04:08:54 PM  
It looks like that dog is a hand puppet. I mean, seriously, who'd stick their hand up a poor puppy's arse?
2003-01-14 04:09:09 PM  
Ah yes, the ol' "We-farked-up-the-baptism-so-you'll-now-rot-in-hell-if-you-die" ploy.

Why is that? Isn't religion all about the belief in <insert religious deity here> and the teachings of said deity? Do catholics honestly believe that they won't get into "heaven" if they had the baptism performed incorrectly? Wouldn't the just and righteous deity punish the one who performed the baptism incorrectly, and not those who were simply victims?

Oh wait, that's right, these people are blind in their faith and lack the ability to question things. I wonder if they want to buy a bridge I'm selling.
2003-01-14 04:09:34 PM  
fu@king catholic church!

if i was one of those parents, id ask for the bribe (donation) i had to give the priest when my daughters got confirmed then i would DEMAND 2 years worth of shake down money (tiething) back since they arent really members of the church...

if they want to screw me, i want a refund... that will show those alterboy molesting shake down artists!
2003-01-14 04:09:36 PM  

You have more than a few of us laughing here.
2003-01-14 04:10:47 PM  
Quick! they have to bite the head off a live rooster, and spit blood in the four directions, then recite "Klatu Varata Nicto."
The Catholic church is so full of hocus pocus that this ritual would be no less silly.
2003-01-14 04:12:50 PM  
I like watching Asian girls get baptized on film. Now that's a lot of "holy water".

(Link NSFW)
2003-01-14 04:12:56 PM  
Actually, according to my old catholic teachers, the parents CAN baptize their children, as long as the parents are catholic. We were taught that any catholic can baptize someone with water.
2003-01-14 04:13:34 PM  
Akanafene, I am sure that young man is drinking a Root Beer, no? But, what will he do with the blow up doll and Doritos, once everyone has left? Hmmmmm?
2003-01-14 04:13:52 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Two "Huh?"s for the new cliche!
2003-01-14 04:14:36 PM  
I thought confirmation in the catholic church is what saved you, that and hail marys and farking the priest...
Or at least that was what my prest said.
2003-01-14 04:15:40 PM  
Baptizing children that has not chosen to be babtized has no affect on them. Baptism is a choice only the person being baptized can make.
2003-01-14 04:15:54 PM  
akanafene, That pic looks familiar. Think I've seen that on some Rage Against the Machine shirts or something?
2003-01-14 04:16:21 PM  
The problem is that different people poured the magic water and recited the incantation. They have to be the same person or god calls shenanigans.
2003-01-14 04:19:59 PM  
If the kids weren't baptized, they'd be in limbo if they die," said Ms. Morin, a freelance video technician.

Lovely. A religion that consigns children and babies to a sort of proto-hell (that is never mentioned in the Bible) because the wrong person put water on their heads.

No thanks.
2003-01-14 04:21:30 PM  
Right, but you're much too englightened to do that right Capn?

You just make fun of anyone who believes anything other than what you do...

actually, i make fun of anyone who believes in anything at all.

believing it for suckers.
2003-01-14 04:22:11 PM  
"it meant our kids didn't have a religion. If the kids weren't baptized, they'd be in limbo if they die,"

God loves all the litte children of the world......exept those who had the bad fortune of not being born parents who follow all of his rules exactly. He really doesn't care about those.
2003-01-14 04:22:54 PM  
And this is the Curch I would wish rto be baptised in... She may wash me down and make me holy in her essence !!!
[image from too old to be available]
2003-01-14 04:24:04 PM  

Well I commend your consistency then.
2003-01-14 04:24:07 PM  
I'm Catholic (although I don't practice) but I've had theology class since I go to a Jesuit University

I'm not sure about the invalidity of the procedure since one person poured while another spoke, but I suppose that could be true

Either way though, the kids wouldn't 'go to hell' After Vatican II the catechism was revised so that even if you're not baptized you still get into heaven under various conditions.

Basically the only thing that actually keeps you out is if you completely reject God, so all you athesists are screwed (although since your atheist you wouldn't care anyway)

The church now says that kids get in cause they haven't yet been able to really do anything really bad, plus they would have been baptized if they had the chance

Likewise the church says that people who lived long ago or in far off lands like AFrican tribes, natives in the Amazon etc get in because "If they knew about God and the church they would want to join" so they get a freebie.
2003-01-14 04:24:20 PM  
God sends innocent children to hell (or purgatory) on a technicality!! I'm sure the thorough brainwashing of the Catholic Church has some people believing this might be possible!

It's a new millenium and a good chunk of the population is still in the dark ages.
2003-01-14 04:25:37 PM  
"In the old days, people used to think that if a little child wasn't baptized and died before reaching the age of reason, he wouldn't be able to go to heaven. It's no longer part of contemporary Catholic faith," he said in an interview.

What changed their minds? Did gOD send down a new prophet to reveal these FACTS? Do they make this shiat up as they go along? YOU BET YOUR ASS THEY DO!
2003-01-14 04:27:10 PM  
I'm amazed at the high number of Atheists in this thread... wow, we're only like 11% of the population, and we're dominating the thread. Kickass guys!

Anyway, I've been meaning to ask Fr._Peter_Fitznuggly, what church did you "preach" at?
2003-01-14 04:27:14 PM  
I kicked a pregnant woman, shot a priest, and raped some babies last night...sure hope my baptism was valid. I'd hate to have to go to LIMBO!!!
2003-01-14 04:28:33 PM  
Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman is correct, the Catholic Church revised its Catechism about unbaptised children in 1992.
2003-01-14 04:28:53 PM  
Jesus built my hotrod... BONG!
2003-01-14 04:29:00 PM  
BTW... limbo, or purgatory was an invention of the Catholic Church to allow them to screw more money out of people. I don't know if the practice still exists, but it was possible to buy your relatives out of purgatory with a donation to the church.

It is sort of like the $1.99 Barbie phone line for kids that was posted earlier today... an obvious and lame attempt at a cash grab.

I guess I must have missed the section of the bible that mentions purgatory...
2003-01-14 04:29:25 PM  

dude, first of all, there is no such thing as a non-practicing catholic... think about it... my priest has been saying it for years...

second, if you have natural sin, and die before the age of reason, youre going to pergatory... if you die after the age of reason, you're going to hell... that is set in stone, no council changed that... trust me...

thats the scare tactic my church uses to collect shake down money from parents that talk about waiting to get their child baptized...
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